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My Town Tutors loves a good laugh. Over the years we have acquired many jokes. Hopefully you find them useful and can have some fun with them. Most school years are 180 days, so we have tried to list some jokes that might help teachers and students get through the school year with a smile.

September Jokes for Kids & Top 10 Jokes for Each Month

  1. What is a tree’s least favorite month?… Sep-timber! (Tree Jokes & Arbor Day Jokes)
  2. September 2nd Full Moon Jokes: Knock Knock!… Who’s there?… Candy!… Candy who?… Candy cow jump over the moon? (Cow Jokes & Candy Jokes)
  3. What did October say to August?… Wake me up when September ends! (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  4. What do you call a sleeping pizza? … a piZZZZZZa. (Napping Jokes)
  5. September 5th: Top 10 National Pizza Day: Want to hear a joke about pizza?… Never mind, it’s too cheesy. (Cheese Jokes & Pizza Jokes for Kids)
  6. Read a Book Day: A book never written: “When Does School Start?” by Wendy Belrings. (Back to School Jokes)
  7. September 7th: Labor Day Jokes: I studied to become a doctor, but I didn’t have enough patients for the job. (Doctor Jokes)
  8. My wife came home from work yesterday and was raging about her boss. She said to me, “I’m never going to work for that man again!.”  I asked her, “Why, what did he say to you?”  She said, “You’re fired.”
  9. Labor Day JokesDid you hear the joke about Labor Day?… It doesn’t work for me! (Labor Day Jokes)
  10. What did October say to August?… Wake me up when September ends! (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  11. What did one Christmas tree say to the other Christmas tree?… “I wish Christmas would last forever because there would be no Sep-timber!” (September Jokes & Christmas Tree Jokes)
  12. Mother: How did you find school on the 1st day today? Daughter: I just got off the bus and there it was! (Back to School Jokes & Mother’s Day Jokes)
  13. September 13th: Grandparents Day: Grandparents Day JokesKnock! Knock!… Who’s there?… Grandma. Knock! Knock!… Who’s there?… Grandma… Knock! Knock!… Who’s there?… Grandma. Knock! Knock!… Who’s there?… Aunt. Aunt who?… Aunt you glad Grandma’s gone?
  14. Grandparents Day JokesWhat do you call having your grandma on speed dial?… Instagram. (Grandparent Jokes)
  15. Where do math teachers like to go on vacation?… Times Square! (New York Jokes & Math Jokes)
  16. September 17th Constitution Day Jokes: I got caught with a copy of the Constitution… I swear I read it for the articles. (Constitution Jokes
  17. September 18th National Cheeseburger Day:
  18. September 19th Talk Like a Pirate Day: Pirate’s are not very good students… They are just above C-level. (Pirate Jokes)

July Jokes / Top 10 July Jokes

  1. Teacher: “More than 200 years ago, our forefathers defeated the British in the Revolutionary War.”… Student: “Wow! They must have been pretty strong, four men defeating a whole army!” (180 School Jokes)
  2. I was afraid I might fail my fireworks exam… But I passed with flying colors. (Fireworks Jokes)
  3. Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. ‘Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school’ ‘But why, Mom? I don’t want to go.’ ‘Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go.’ ‘Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!’ ‘Oh, that’s no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready.’ ‘Give me two reasons why I should go to school.’ ‘Well, for one, you’re 52 years old. And for another, you’re the Head teacher!’ (Teacher Jokes)
  4. Teacher: Everybody hand in your homework, please. Students: Teacher, it’s the first day of school. We didn’t have any homework. Teacher: That’s right, and that’s the last excuse for not doing your homework that I’ll accept for the rest of the year. (Teacher Jokes)
  5. What’s the king of all school supplies?… The ruler. (180 School Jokes)
  6. Student: The first day of school is always special to me. It’s the only day of the year when I’m not behind in my homework. (Jokes for the 1st Day of School)
  7. If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why isn’t it #1? (Pencil Jokes for Kids)
  8. How do you get straight A’s?… By using a ruler!
  9. Shark Week: What did the shark get on his biology test?… A sea-minus. (Biology Jokes & Shark Jokes)
  10. Student: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do? Teacher: Of course not. Student:Good, because I didn’t do my homework. (180 School Jokes)
  11. Why was school easier for cave people?… Because there was no history to study! (US History Jokes)
  12. Knock! Knock!… Who is there?… Teddy!… Teddy who?… Teddy (today) is the first day of school! (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids & Jokes for the 1st Day of School)
  13. Knock Knock Who’s there? Noah Noah who? Noah more summer – it’s time for school! (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids & Jokes for the 1st Day of School)

May Jokes / Top 10 May Jokes

  1. If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?… Pilgrims! (Top Social Studies Jokes)
  2. Which month can’t make a decision?… MAYbe. (May Jokes)
  3. Can February March? … No, but April May! (Jokes for Each Month)
  4. What month of the year is the shortest?… May (only 3 letters)When did Anakin’s Jedi masters know he was leaning towards the dark side?… In the Sith Grade. (Star Wars Jokes for Kids)

September Jokes

  1. What is a tree’s least favorite month?… Sep-timber!(Tree Jokes & Arbor Day Jokes)
  2. September 2nd: Labor Day Jokes: Father: Do you know, most people don’t have to work today, because it’s Labor Day. Son: If people are not working, shouldn’t we call today ‘No-Labor Day?’ (Father’s Day Jokes)
  3. Why do trees hate tests? — Because they get stumped by the questions. (Fall Jokes & Tree Jokes)
  4. September 8th: Grandparents Day JokesWhat do you call having your grandma on speed dial?… Instagram. (Grandparent Jokes)
  5. What does an envelope say when you lick it?… Nothing. It just shuts up.
  6. Which are the stronger days of the week?…Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
  7. What did the stamp say to the envelope?… Stick with me we’ll go places!
  8. How do you make a tissue dance?… Put a little boogey in it!
  9. How do athletes stay cool during a game?…They sit near the fans!
  10. What has hands but does not clap…. A clock!
  11. How do you make an egg roll?…. You push it.
  12. What did the math book tell the pencil?…. I have a lot of problems.
  13. Friday the 13th Jokes: Why does Freddy Krueger wear a hat?… He ran out of scare spray. (Barber Jokes)
  14. September 17th Constitution Day
  15. What kind of grades did the pirate get in school?… HIGH SEAS!
  16. September 29th: National Coffee Day: I just read that every year we spend more on coffee than we do on educating our children. How do we sleep at night? (Coffee Jokes)

October Jokes

  1. Why did Columbus do on his school report cards?… He always worked at C-Level. (Columbus Day Jokes)
  2. October 8th: World Octopus Day: What do you call 8 x 3.14?… Octopi. (Pi Day Jokes)
  3. How did the young explorer get to school?… On the ColumBUS. (Columbus Day Jokes)

November Jokes

  1. What month should you never ask to the Prom?… “NO” vember (Clean Prom Jokes)
  2. Why didn’t the clock work?… It needed a hand. (Biology Jokes)
  3. November 3rd: Sandwich Day Jokes: What did the ghost eat for lunch?… A “boo” loney sandwich! (Halloween Jokes & Ghost Jokes)
  4. November 4th: National Candy Day Jokes: What kind of bear has no teeth?… A gummy bear! (Hunting Jokes for Kids & Candy Jokes)
  5. November 5th: Election Day: Election Day Jokes Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?… It’s mole-itically incorrect! (Mole Day Jokes)
  6. How do you get straight A’s?… By using a ruler. (Middle School Jokes)
  7. Why was Harry Potter sent to the office?… Because he was cursing in class! (School Jokes & 180 School Jokes)
  8. How do trees get onto the internet?… Easy, they just LOG on. (Arbor Day Jokes / Tree Jokes / Computer Jokes)
  9. Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road to school?… The Crossing Gourd. (Fall Jokes & Pumpkin Jokes)
  10. Thanksgiving Jokes: If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflowers bring?… Pilgrims (The Mayflower Ship) (Spring Jokes)
  11. November 11th: Veterans Day: Where did the General put his armies?… In his sleevies. (get it his sleeves)?
  12. What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to?…Plymouth Rock! (Music Jokes)
  13. What’s the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?… The turkey trot! (Turkey Jokes)
  14. Why do pilgrims pants keep falling down?… Because their belt buckles are on their hats!
  15. If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?… Their AGE! (Grandparents Jokes)
  16. Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving?… The turkey because he’s already stuffed! (Turkey Jokes)
  17. Sister: Mom wants you to help us fix Thanksgiving dinner. Brother: Why? Is it broken
  18. Which November Holiday is Dracula’s favorite?… Fangs-giving (Halloween Jokes)
  19. How did the Mayflower show that it liked America?… It hugged the shore! (Geography Jokes)

  1. Knock knockout?…  Who is there?… Daisy…Daisy who?…Daisy plays, nights he sleeps!
  2. What did the older chimney say to the younger chimney?… You’re too little to smoke!
  3. What do you call a cow with no legs?… Ground beef.
  4. What did the water say to the boat?… Nothing, it just waved. (Top Geography Jokes)
  5. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?…They don’t have the guts.
  6. Did you hear about the kidnapping?… Probably not, he is still sleeping.
  7. How do small children travel?… In mini-vans
  8. How do billboards talk?…. Sign language!
  9. What kind of chain is edible?…. A food chain! (Top Science Jokes)
  10. How do hens stay fit?….The “egg-ercise”
  11. What kind of cat likes water?….an octopuss!
  12. What did the bunny say on January 1st?….Hoppy new year!
  13. What do a chicken and a band have in common?….They both have drum sticks!
  14. Why did the tomato turn red?….It saw the salad dressing!
  15. What did the grape do when it got stepped on?….It let out a little wine!
  16. Where did the spaghetti go to dance?….The Meat Ball!
  17. When is a door like a bottle?….When the door is ajar.
  18. What is the best thing to put into a pie?….A fork!
  19. What does a pig put on a cut?….Oinkment
  20. What do call of people afraid of Santa Claus?….Claustrophobic
  21. What did the father buffalo say to his son?….Bye son (bison)
  22. What is a pilot’s favorite type of donut?….A plain (plane) donut!
  23. Why is it so hot in a football stadium after a game?….All the fans have left!
  24. Why is a lost Dalmatian easily found?….Because he is always spotted!
  25. Did you hear the joke about the cookie?….It is crummy.
  26. What is a cat’s favorite color?….PUUUUURple
  27. Did you hear the joke about the construction project?….I’m still working on it!
  28. Where do you put smart hot dogs?….On honor rolls!
  29. What goes tick-tock, woof-woof?….A watchdog!
  30. What did the girl sea say when the boy sea asked her for a date?….Shore. (Top Geography Jokes)
  31. How do you get a peanut to laugh?…. you crack it up!
  32. Why did the farmer bury all his money?…. to make his soil rich!
  33. Where can you find an ocean without water?…. on a map! (Top Geography Jokes)
  34. Why do shoemakers go to heaven?…. Because they have good soles!
  35. What do you call it when a cat sues another cat? … A Claw suit.
  36. Where do actors like to camp?… The Hollywoods! (Top Geography Jokes)
  37. Why do fish swim in salt water?… Pepper makes them sneeze.
  38. What is a robot’s favorite snack?… Computer chips!
  39. What do you call a fish with two knees?… A two nee fish!
  40. Why do seagulls fly over the sea?… Because if they flew over the bay, they would be bay gulls (bagels)! (Top Geography Jokes)
  41. Why did the boy stare at the automobile’s radio?… He wanted to watch a car-tune.
  42. When is a theater clumsy?… When the curtain falls.
  43. Why was the annoying exterminator fired?… Because he bugged his boss.
  44. How did the soldier fit his tank in his house?… It was a fish tank!
  45. Why was the book in the hospital?… Because it hurt his spine.
  46. What did the leaves name their sons?… Russell. (Top Fall Jokes)
  47. Why did the man throw a clock out the window?… He wanted time to fly.
  48. What is a rapper’s favorite toy?… a yo – YO!
  49. Have you heard of the singing group the three dwarves?… Probably not. They are not that big.
  50. What has  wheels and flies?… a garbage truck!
  51. Where do cows go on dates?… MOOOOvies
  52. Why was the trashcan sad?… He / she was dumped.
  53. What do you call a bear with no teeth?… a Gummy bear
  54. Why did the cookie cry?… He was feeling crumby.
  55. Why did the computer go to the doctors?… It had a virus.
  56. Why do birds fly south in the winter?… Because it’s too far to walk!
  57. What is a snake’s favorite class?… Hissss-tory! (Top Social Studies Jokes)
  58. What do you call a cow with no feet?… Ground beef!
  59. What kind of pants do ghosts wear?… Boo jeans! (Top Halloween Jokes)
  60. What do prisoners use to call each other?… Cell phones.
  61. What do you get from a pampered cow?… Spoiled milk.
  62. What dog keeps the best time?… A watchdog.
  63. What did the dentist give to the marching band?… A TUBA toothpaste
  64. What did the bottle of dressing say to the person who opened the refrigerator door?… “SHUT THE DOOR!” I’m dressing!
  65. What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?…Dam! (Top Geography Jokes)
  66. Why is a traffic light red?… You would be red too if you were changing in front of people all day.
  67. What is a pirate’s favorite letter?… RRRRR (Top Pirate Jokes)
  68. Why does the pirate wear camouflage underwear?… To hide his booty! (Top Pirate Jokes)
  69. Did I tell you the joke about the ceiling?… Oh forget it. It’s over your head.
  70. What room is a dead man most afraid of?… The living room!
  71. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party?… He had NO BODY to go with.
  72. What did the ocean say to the other ocean?… Nothing. He waved.  (Top Geography Jokes)
  73. Two wrongs don’t make a right. But what do two WRIGHTS make?… A plane (Orville and Wilbur WRIGHT)!
  74. Why was the strawberry sad?… His mother got into a JAM!
  75. What do you call cheese that is not yours?… NACHO cheese!
  76. When is the best time to go to the dentist?…2:30 (Tooth Hurty)!
  77. What did one cannibal say to other after eating a clown?… Hey! Does this taste FUNNY to you?
  78. What did one lamp say to the other lamp?… Hey! You turn me on!
  79. Did you hear about the two antennas that got married?… The wedding ceremony wasn’t too good, but the reception was great!
  80. What did the man say when he walked into the bar?… Ouch!
  81. Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?… He’s all right now.
  82. Why do bagpipers walk when they play?… They’re trying to get away from the noise.
  83. What does a skeleton order when he goes to a bar?… A beer and a mop.
  84. Where do fish put their money?….. in a river bank!
  85. What is the favorite TV show of fish?… Name that TUNA!
  86. What did one penny say to the other penny?… Let’s get together and make some (sense) cents!
  87. How much did it cost for a pirate to pierce his ears? … a buck an ear (a buccaneer)!
  88. Why did the skeleton go to the piano store?…To buy some organs!
  89. What section of the paper does a ghost always read?…the HORRORscopes
  90. Why did the skeleton hold up the barbecue?… He needed a spare rib.
  91. What did one eye say to the other eye?… Something between us smells!
  92. What do you call a cow that walks on water?… Holy cow!
  93. What is a witch’s favorite class?… Spelling
  94. Why did the lettuce beat the carrot in a race?… Because it was a head!
  95. What do you call a deer with no eyes?… No-Eye Deer.
  96. What do you call a deer with no eyes AND no legs… Still, no eyed deer!
  97. What did zero (0) say to eight (8)?… Nice belt
  98. Why is six afraid of seven?… Because  7 ATE 9
  99. What do you get you drip a piano down a mineshaft?… A flat minor
  100. What did one math book say to the other?… You think you’ve got problems.
  101. What did one plate say to the other plate?…Lunch (dinner, or breakfast) is on me!
  102. Where does Santa keep his money?… In a snow bank!
  103. What did one wall say to the other?… Hey, let’s meet in the corner.
  104. What is a knight’s favorite fish?… swordfish
  105. Why are fish so smart?… They travel in schools!
  106. What did the picture say to the wall?… I was framed!
  107. Why do fish swim in salt water?… Pepper makes them sneeze.
  108. What is a robot’s favorite snack? … Computer chips!
  109. Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Daisy… Daisy who?… Daisy plays, nights he sleeps!
  110. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? … A nervous wreck.
  111. Why did the man put his money in the freezer?… He wanted cold hard cash!
  112. What is a construction workers favorite bird? … A crane!
  113. If two is a pair and three is a crowd, what are four and five?… Nine!
  114. Why did the turtle cross the road? … To get to the “Shell” (gas) stations! (World Turtle Day Jokes / Turtle Jokes for Kids / Turtle Jokes)
  115. Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun? … Because he’s always a little short.
  116. Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Irish…Irish who? … Irish you a happy St. Patrick’s Day! (Top St. Patrick’s Day Jokes)
  117. When does “B” come after “U”?… When you disturb its hive.9
  118. What is a frog’s favorite drink? … “croak – a – cola”
  119. Have you heard the joke about the baseball? … It’ll leave you in stitches. (Top Baseball Jokes)
  120. If April showers bring may flowers, what do mayflowers bring? … Pilgrims (Top Thanksgiving Day Jokes)
  121. What did one candle say to the other candle? … Are you going out tonight?
  122. What did the blanket say to the bed? … Don’t worry. I got you covered.
  123. Why did Silly Bill tip toe past the medicine cabinet? … He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills.
  124. What is a pokemon’s favorite dance? … The hokey pokemon
  125. What bird can write under water? … A ball-point “pen” quin
  126. Have you heard the joke about the sidewalk? … It’ll crack you up!
  127. Knock, knock…Who’s there?…Dwayne…Dwayne who? … Dwayne the bathtub, I’m dwowning!
  128. Why did the turkey cross the road? … To prove it wasn’t chicken.
  129. Knock, knock…Who’s there?…No body… (Don’t say anything)!
  130. What kind of witch likes the beach? …  a SAND witch (sandwich)!
  131. What do you get if you say “Tornado” ten times backward and forward? … A real tongue-twister!
  132. Did you hear the one about the duck who robbed banks? … He was a safe quacker.
  133. What kind of key does not open a lock? … a mon – KEY!
  134. Why is your nose in the middle of your face? … Because it is the “scenter.” / Center!
  135. How do you make a Venetian blind? … Poke him in the eye.
  136. What do you call a bird that is sad? … A Blue Bird!
  137. What do you call a fish with no I’s? … A Fssssssh!
  138. Why did the baseball player get arrested? … Because he stole second base!
  139. What was the baby ant so confused? … Because all his uncles were ANTS!
  140. Why was the dolphin so sad? … Because he had no PORPOISE in life!
  141. What happened when the frog parked illegally? … It was TOAD!!
  142. What always falls and never gets hurt?……..rain!
  143. I heard they put a new wing on the school….That is true, but it still won’t fly.
  144. What do astronauts have for dinner?…Launch meat!
  145. What letters are not in the alphabet?…The ones in the mail.
  146. Knock Knock!…Who’s there?…Cargo!…Cargo who?…CarGo Beep Beep!
  147. What do you call a Stegosaurus with carrots in its ears?… anything you want, it can’t hear you!
  148. What is the only bow that you can’t tie?…Rainbow!
  149. Knock Knock. Who’s there?…Dishes….Dishes who?…Dishes the police, come out with your hands up!!
  150. What is the loudest state?… ILL-I-NOISE (Top Geography Jokes)
  151. Knock knock…who’s there?…little boy…little boy who?…little boy who can’t reach the doorbell!
  152. Why did the boy throw the butter out the window?… to see a butterfly!
  153. How was that Camping Trip?…Intense (in-tents)!
  154. Why are Teddy Bears never hungry?…Because they are always stuffed!

Top 10 August Jokes

  1. Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! There are 179 more jokes. (Knock Knock Jokes)
  2. What’s the king of all school supplies?… The ruler. (Back To School Jokes)
  3. Back To School Jokes: Student: The first day of school is always special to me. It’s the only day of the year when I’m not behind in my homework. (Jokes for the 1st Day of School)
  4. What was the marine biologist’s kid’s excuse for not having his homework?… “My shark ate it!” (Shark Jokes)
  5. August 4th: Chocolate Chip Cookie DayWhat kind of keys do kids like to carry?… Chocolate Chip Cookies!
  6. Mother: How did you find school on the 1st day today? Daughter: I just got off the bus and there it was! (Mother’s Day Jokes)
  7. A book never written: “When Does School Start?” by Wendy Belrings.
  8. Knock Knock… Who’s there!… B-4!… B-4 who?… B-4 you go to school, do your homework! (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids)
  9. Knock Knock… Who’s there!… B-2! B-2 who?…. B-2 school on time! (Back to School Jokes & Jokes for the 1st Day of School)
  10. What do you find in an empty nose?…fingerprints! (Top Elementary School Jokes)
  11. Why are bananas good at gymnastics… They do great banana splits! (Top Gymnastics Jokes)
  12. Why won’t the elephant use the computer?….He’s afraid of the mouse! (Elephant Jokes for Kids & Computer Jokes)
  13. August 12th: World Elephant DayWhy didn’t the elephant buy a suitcase for his summer vacation?… Because he already had a trunk! (Elephant Jokes for Kids)
  14. Student: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do? Teacher: Of course not. Student: Good, because I didn’t do my homework. (180 School Jokes)
  15. What do you call a sleeping cow?… a bulldozer!
  16. What did Mr. and Mrs. Hamburger name their daughter?….Patty.
  17. If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why isn’t it #1? (Pencil Jokes for Kids)
  18. What do librarians take with them when they go fishing?… Bookworms. (Fishing Jokes)
  19. What did the square say to the old circle?… Been around long? (Top Math Jokes & 101 Pi Day Jokes)
  20. Why do magicians do so well in school?… They’re good at trick questions. (Magic Jokes)
  21. Son: Hey, Mom, I got a hundred in school today! Mom: That’s great. What in? Son: A 40 in Reading and a 60 in Spelling. (Mother’s Day Jokes)
  22. Why did nose not want to go to school?… He was tired of getting picked on! (Biology Jokes)
  23. Why did the kid study in the airplane?… Because he wanted a higher education! (Pilot Jokes)
  24. What kind of hats do they where at the North Pole?…. Ice Caps! (Top Geography Jokes)
  25. What kind of snack do you have during a scary movie?…. I scream (ice cream) (Ice Cream Day Jokes)
  26. What is a cat’s favorite dessert?….Pie a la meow’d!!!
  27. Why is music like a fish?…. they both have scales!
  28. What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot?…. a walkie-talkie
  29. What happens when you wear a snowsuit inside?…… It melts! (Top Winter Jokes)
  30. Did you hear about the dog at the flea circus?… He stole the show!
  31. August 31st: International Bacon Day: Why was the meat packer arrested?… For bringing home the bacon. (Labor Day Jokes & Police Jokes)

December Jokes

  1. What month gets the worst grades?… “D” cember! (Teacher Jokes)
  2. What do elves do after school?… Their gnome work! (Elf jokes & 180 School Jokes)
  3. What does Jack Frost like best about school?… Snow and tell. (Elementary School Jokes)
  4. December 4th: National Cookie DayWhat kind of keys do kids like to carry?… Chocolate Chip Cookies!
  5. What do call a middle school student afraid of Santa Claus?….Claustrophobic. (Middle School Jokes)
  6. What do you say to Santa when he’s taking attendance at school?… Present. (Christmas Jokes for Teachers)
  7. What do elves learn in schools?… the “elf”-abet! (Back to School Jokes)
  8. Why did Rudolph get a bad report card?… Because he went down in history.  (Reindeer Jokes & Christmas Jokes for Teachers)
  9. How is the alphabet different on Christmas from every other day?… There’s Noel! (Teacher Jokes)
  10. What does Jack Frost like best about school?… Snow and tell. (Winter Jokes & 180 School Jokes)
    What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school?… The elf-abet. (Elf Jokes)
  11. Every New Year’s Eve, I look forward to a good show at Time’s Square …… and year after year, they drop the ball. (New York Jokes)
  12. An iPhone and a firework were arrested on New Year’s Eve. One was charged and the other was let off. (Fireworks Jokes & Police Jokes)
  13. What happened to the man who shoplifted a calendar on New Year’s Eve?… He got 12 months! (Police Jokes)
  14. Knock knock... Who’s there?… Abbey... Abbey who?… Abbey New Year! (Christmas Knock Knock Jokes & New Year’s Eve Jokes)
  15. What do you call always having a date for New Year’s Eve?… Social Security. (Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  16. Did you hear about the fire cracker’s New Year’s Eve party?… It was a BANG! (Fireworks Jokes)
  17. The year 2020 is going to be filled with so many puns about perfect vision …… I can’t wait to see them all.
  18. How does New Year’s Eve end?… With the letter ‘E’!
  19. Where can you find comedians on New Year’s Eve?… Waiting for the punchline.
  20. What is a corn’s favorite holiday?… New Ear’s Day. (Corn Jokes & Farming Jokes)

January Jokes & Winter Jokes

  1. New Year’s Day Jokes: What does the Easter Bunny say on New Year’s Day?…. Hoppy New Year! (Easter Jokes)
  2. What comes at the start of January?… “J.”
  3. What did the triple jumper say to the track & field team on January 1st?… Hoppy New Year! (365 Sports Jokes & Track & Field Jokes)
  4. National Spaghetti Day Jokes: Where did the spaghetti go to dance?… The meat ball! (Meatball Jokes)
  5. National Bird Day Jokes: Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?… So he could grade his eggs. (Egg Jokes / Farming Jokes / Teacher Jokes)
  6. What is the most competitive season?… “Win” ter. (365 Sports Jokes)
  7. How can you tell the ocean is friendly?… It waves! (Top Geography Jokes)
  8. Which runs faster, hot or cold?… Hot. Everyone can catch a cold.
  9. What did the flower say to the bike?… Petal!
  10. Did people laugh when the lady fell on the ice?… No, but the ice cracked up.
  11. What song does a vampire sing on New Year’s Eve?… Auld FANG Syne. (Vampire Jokes & Music Jokes)
  12. What do you tell someone you didn’t see at New Year’s Eve?… I haven’t seen you for a year!
  13. How do snowmen travel around?… By icicle! (Bike Jokes & Snowman Jokes)
  14. How do Eskimos make their beds?… With sheets of ice and blankets of snow. (Snow Jokes) Napping Jokes
  15. Why don’t mountains get cold in the winter?… They wear snowcaps. (Hiking Jokes)
  16. What did the detective in the Arctic say to the suspect?…  “Where were you on the night of September to March?”(Police Jokes) September Jokes March Jokes)
  17. What is the snowman’s breakfast?… Frosted flakes! (Cereal Jokes)
  18. January 18th: Winnie the Pooh Day: What’s Winnie’s favorite bird?… Christopher Robin. (Bird Jokes)
  19. January 19th: National Popcorn Day: How much do pirates charge for corn on the cob?… A buck-an-ear. (Pirate Jokes & Popcorn Jokes)
  20. What do penguins eat for lunch?… Ice-burgers! (Penguin Jokes)
  21. January 23rd: National Pie Day Jokes What’s the best thing to put into a pie?… Your teeth!
  22. January 24th: National Peanut Butter Day Jokes: Where do peanut drivers go to fill their tanks?…  The Shell station!
  23. What Super Bowl play should you be suspicious of?… The quarterback sneak. (Top 10 Super Bowl Jokes)
  24. What is Campbell’s favorite athletic event?… The “soup” er Bowl. (Top 10 Super Bowl Jokes)
  25. Why did the Super Bowl football player go to the bank?… to get his quarter back.(Top 10 Super Bowl Jokes)
  26. What comes at the end of January?… “Y.”

February Jokes

  1. Top 10 Super Bowl Jokes: What’s the difference between a Super Bowl quarterback and a baby?… One takes the snap, the other takes a nap. (Napping Jokes)
  2. February 2nd: Top 10 Groundhog Day Jokes: What would you get if you crossed February 2 with a puppy?… Ground-dog Day! (Puppy Jokes)
  3. Do you have a date for Valentines Day?… Yes, February 14th. (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month & Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  4. Did Adam and Eve ever have a date?… No, but they had an apple.
  5. How a does hockey player kiss?… He puckers up. (Hockey Jokes for Kids)
  6. What do you call two birds in love?…. Tweethearts! (Bird Jokes)
  7. Where did Black Widow and Spider-Man first meet?… On the web! (Spiderman Jokes)
  8. What kind of ships do pirates have trouble with?… Relationships! (Pirate Jokes)

March Jokes

  1. Can February March?… No, but April May. (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  2. March 2nd: Dr. Seuss Jokes: Where does the Cat in the Hat go when he’s sick?… To Dr. Seuss. (Cat Jokes)
  3. What is Sam-I-am’s middle name?… “I” (Dr. Seuss Jokes)
  4. What did the commander say to his troops?… March 4th! (Memorial Day Jokes & Veterans’ Day Jokes)
  5. February is ending today, but that’s okay…. We’ll March on. (February Jokes)
  6. March 7th National Pancake Day Jokes: How do you make a pancake smile?… Butter him up.
  7. Friday the 13th Jokes: Why does Freddy Krueger wear a hat?… He ran out of scare spray. (Barber Jokes)
  8. March 14th: 101 Pi Day Jokes: Statistics show that 3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates. (Pirate Jokes)
  9. March 17th: St. Patrick’s Day Jokes: What did the leprechaun say when the video game ended?… Game clover! (Leprechaun Jokes)
  10. Funny Spring Jokes: If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?… Pilgrims! (Social Studies Jokes)
  11. What do you call a grizzly bear caught in the rain?… A drizzly bear. (Bear Jokes for Kids & Rain Jokes)
  12. What goes up when the rain comes down?… An umbrella! (Rain Jokes)
  13. What season is it when you are on a trampoline?… Spring-time! (Gymnastics Jokes for Kids)
  14. What type of bird should you never take to the bank?… A robin. (Bird Jokes & Police Jokes)
  15. Spring is here, and the trees are getting their foliage back… What a releaf. (Tree Jokes)
  16. Why is everyone so tired on April 1?… Because they’ve just finished a long, 31 day March! (Spring Jokes & Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)

April Jokes

  1. April 1st: April Fool’s Day Jokes: Do you know all about April 1st?… Yes, I’m fooly aware of it!
  2. National Walking Day: What does Pooh walk on?… His bear feet. (Winnie the Pooh Jokes & Bear Jokes)
  3. If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflower’s bring?… Pilgrims! (Social Studies Jokes Rain Jokes)
  4. When do monkeys fall from the sky?… During Ape-ril showers! (April Jokes Monkey Jokes)
  5. National Burrito Day JokesWhat do you call cheese that isn’t yours?… Nacho cheese!
  6. Easter Jokes: What do you call an Easter Bunny who gets kicked out of school?… Egg-spelled. (Easter Jokes)
  7. What is a shark’s favorite game?… Swallow the leader! (Shark Jokes for Kids)
  8. How do you cut a wave in half?… Use a sea saw. (Ocean Jokes for Kids)
  9. April 20 Patriots Day: What dance was very popular in 1776?… Indepen-dance! (Music Jokes)
  10. Why couldn’t the flower ride it’s bike?… It lost its petals. (Bike Jokes & Flower Jokes)
  11. April 22nd. Earth Day: What did the mother worm say to the little worm who was late?… “Where in earth have you been?” (Spring Jokes & Worm Jokes)
  12. What’s a tornado’s favorite game?… Twister! (Weather Jokes & Tornado Jokes)
  13. April 24th Arbor Day: hat is a pirate’s favorite holiday?… AHRRRRR-bor Day! (Pirate Jokes for Kids)
  14. What is a tree’s least favorite month?… Sep-timber! (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)

Top 10 August Jokes

  1. Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gust of wind blew my homework away! (August Jokes & Back to School Jokes)
  2. Knock! Knock!… Who is there?… Teddy!… Teddy who?… Teddy (today) is the first day of school! (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids / Jokes for the 1st Day of School / Back to School Jokes)
  3. If the #2 pencil is the most popular in schools, why isn’t it #1? (Pencil Jokes for Kids & Back to School Jokes)
  4. August 4th: Chocolate Chip Cookie DayWhat kind of keys do kids like to carry?… Chocolate Chip Cookies!
  5. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah who?… Noah more summer vacation – it’s time for school! (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids / Jokes for the 1st Day of School / Back to School Jokes)
  6. Knock Knock!… Who’s there!… B-2!… B-2 who?… B-2 school on time! (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids & Jokes for the 1st Day of School)
  7. How does a hammerhead shark tell his mom he passed his test?… Nailed it! (Shark Jokes)
  8. What was the marine biologist’s kid’s excuse for not having his homework?… “My shark ate it!” (Shark Jokes)
  9. Knock, knock…Who’s there?… Gladys… Gladys, who?… Gladys the weekend—no homework!
  10. Why do soccer players do well in school?… Because they know how to use their heads. (180 School Jokes & School Jokes for Kids)