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Top Joke Pages: 180 School JokesFamily Joke of the DayMay Jokes for Kids

Teacher Appreciation Week Quotes & Jokes for the Last Day of School

More Teacher Jokes…

  1. Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. ‘Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school’ ‘But why, Mom? I don’t want to go.’ ‘Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go.’ ‘Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!’ ‘Oh, that’s no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready.’ ‘Give me two reasons why I should go to school.’ ‘Well, for one, you’re 52 years old. And for another, you’re the Head teacher!’ (Teacher Jokes & Jokes for the 1st Day of School)
  2. Teacher: Everybody hand in your homework, please. Students: Teacher, it’s the first day of school. We didn’t have any homework. Teacher: That’s right, and that’s the last excuse for not doing your homework that I’ll accept for the rest of the year. (Back to School Jokes)
  3. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah who?… Noah more summer – it’s time for school! (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids & Jokes for the 1st Day of School)
  4. Knock Knock… Who’s there!… B-4!… B-4 who?… B-4 you leave school, thank your teacher for a great year! (Jokes for the Last Day of School)
  5. Why did the teacher jump into the water?… She wanted to test the water! (Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  6. Teachers always seem happy on the first day of school. That’s because they’re getting paid to be there. We kids have to do it for free. (Back to School Jokes)
  7. I tried being a teacher, but I soon lost my principal, my faculties, and my class. (Labor Day Jokes)
  8. A book never written: “The Last Day of School?” by Wendy Belring
  9. What is the difference between a school teacher and a train?… The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says “chew chew chew.” (School Jokes & Gum Jokes)
  10. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Gladys… Gladys, who?… Gladys the last day of school — no homework ALL SUMMER! Summer Jokes
  11. What kind of school do you go to if you’re an ice cream man?… Sundae school.
  12. What kind of school do you go to if you’re a surfer?… Boarding school. (Top Surfing Jokes)
  13. Teacher: Everybody hand in your homework, please. Students:Teacher, it’s the first day of school. We didn’t have any homework. Teacher: That’s right, and that’s the last excuse for not doing your homework that I’ll accept for the rest of the year. (Top Back To School Jokes)
  14. Mother: How did you find school on the 1st day today? Daughter: I just got off the bus and there it was! (Top Back To School Jokes)
  15. A book never written: “When Does School Start?” by Wendy Belrings. (Top Back To School Jokes)
  16. Teacher: “If I gave you 2 tents and another 2 tents and another 2, how many would you have?” Student:“Seven.” Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you two tents, and another two tents and another two, how many would you have?” Student:“Seven.” Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?” Student:“Six.” Teacher: “Good. Now if I gave you two tents, and another two tents and another two, how many would you have?” Student:“Seven!” Teacher: “Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!” Student: “Because I’ve already own a tent!” (Camping Jokes for Kids)
  17. Teacher: What would happen if you took the school bus home? Student: The police would make you bring it back! (Top Back To School Jokes)
  18. What is a tree’s least favorite month?… Sep-timber! (Top Arbor Day Jokes)
  19. Why is 6 afraid of 7?… Because 7 8 (ate) 9! (Top Math Jokes)
  20. Did you hear about the kidnapping?… Probably not, he is still sleeping.
  21. Why did the M&M go to school?… Because he really wanted to be a Smartie! (Top Halloween Jokes Top Elementary School Jokes)
  22. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?… The alpha-BAT. (26 Lessons for the Letter of the Week A- Z Top Elementary School Jokes)
  23. What do you call a teapot of boiling water on top of Mount Everest?… A high-pot-in-use. (Top Math Jokes of All-TimeTop Geography Jokes)
  24. Constitution Day: Constitution Day Jokes: How is a healthy person like the United States?… They both have good constitutions!
  25. Teacher: Please use the words “letter carrier” in a sentence. Student: Yes, ma’am. “My dad said that after seeing how many things my mom was bringing on vacation, he would rather letter carrier own luggage.”
  26. National Talk Like a Pirate Day: What is a pirate’s favorite letter?…. Most people think it’s the ‘R’rrrr, but really it’s the ‘C’ they love. (26 lessons for the Letter of the Week / Top 10 Talk Like A Pirate Day JokesTop Pirate Jokes)
  27. What is the most popular college during election season?… The Electoral College(2016 Presidential Election Jokes)
  28. What do you find in an empty nose?…fingerprints! (Top Elementary School Jokes)
  29. What reads and lives in an apple?… A bookworm. (Can Your Child Read Too Much?180 School Jokes)
  30. What school subject is a witch good at?… Spelling. (Does Spelling REALLY matter?
  31. Who are the happiest people at the football game?… The cheerleaders. (College Football Jokes)
  32. What’s the mole’s favorite college football team?… The Florida State Semimoles (College Football Jokes & 101 Mole Day Jokes)
  33. Why did the deer need braces?… He had buck teeth.
  34. Why was the big hairy, two-headed monster top of the class in school?… Because two heads are better than one. (180 School Jokes365 School Jokes)
  35. When is the best time to go to the dentist?… At tooth-hurty (2:30). (180 School Jokes & World Smile Day Jokes)
  36. Where do farmers send their kids to grow?… Kinder-garden. (Top Elementary Jokes180 School Jokes)
  37. What do farmers use to make crop circles?… A Protractor (Top Pi Day Jokes)
  38. Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize?… Because he was out standing in his field! (Top Fall Jokes)
  39. How much does Avogadro exaggerate?… He makes mountains out of mole hills. (Top Geography Jokes101 Mole Day Jokes)
  40. Which state does the most laundry?… Washington. (Top 10 U.S. States Jokes)
  41. What school subject is a witch good at?… Spelling. (Does Spelling REALLY matter?)
  42. What’s the ratio of a pumpkin’s circumference to its diameter?… Pumpkin Pi (101 Pi Day Jokes)
  43. October 23rd: 101 Mole Day Jokes (Top Science Jokes): What did one mole say to the other?… We make great chemistry together.
  44. October 24th: United Nations Day Jokes: I Hague to tell you, we do not have too many United Nations Jokes. (World Geography JokesTop Geography Jokes)
  45. National Chocolate Day: Chocolate Jokes: What did the M&M go to college?… Because he wanted to be a Smarty. (Top College Jokes)
  46. National Cat Day: Top Cat Jokes: What is a cat’s favorite color?… Purrrple!
  47. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?…Watch the board and I’ll go through it again. (Top Teacher Jokes & Top Halloween Jokes)
  48. Where does a vampire keep his money?… In a blood bank. (Top Biology Jokes & Top Halloween Jokes)
  49. October 31st: Top Halloween Jokes: The nurse walked into the busy doctor’s office and said, “Doctor, the invisible man is here.” The doctor replied, “Sorry, I can’t see him.”

November 2016

November JokesNovember Advertising OpportunitiesNovember Hashtag of the Day

Top 10 Geography Week Jokes

  1. What month should you never ask to the prom? NO – vember. (November JokesClean Prom Jokes)
  2. National Sandwich Day: What did the ghost eat for lunch?… A booloney sandwich! (Top Halloween JokesTop High School Jokes)
  3. Why did the police officer go to the baseball game?… Someone stole second base!(Top World Series Jokes)
  4. National Candy Day: What kind of bear has no teeth?… A gummy bear (National Candy Day Jokes)
  5. Daylight Saving Time: What does a clock do when it’s hungry?… It goes back for seconds! (Top Sandwich Day Jokes & Top Day Lightsavings Jokes)
  6. Daylight Saving Time: Why did the girl throw the clock out the window?… Because she wanted to see time fly. (Top Sandwich Day Jokes & Top Day Lightsavings Jokes)
  7. Election Eve: Presidential Election Jokes (Electoral College: Highest to LowestTop Social Studies JokesTop 500 U.S. Jokes): What is the most popular college during election season?… The Electoral College.
  8. 2016 Election Day ResultsPresidential Election Jokes How did George Washington speak to during his 1st presidential campaign?…. In general terms. (Top George Washington Quotes)
  9. Where did the General put his armies?… In his sleevies. (get it his sleeves)?
  10. Top Thanksgiving Day Jokes: If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflowers bring?… Pilgrims (The Mayflower Ship)
  11. Veterans Day: Top Veterans Day Jokes: What was General Washington’s favorite tree?…The infan-tree! (Top 40 4th of July JokesTop Arbor Day Jokes)
  12. National Pizza Day: What’s the difference between a pizza & our pizza jokes?… Our pizza jokes can’t be topped!
  13. National Pizza Day: Want to hear a joke about pizza?… Never mind, it’s too cheesy.
  14. The Beaver Moon: Why couldn’t the astronaut book a room on the moon?… Because it was full! (Astronomy Jokes & Full Moon Jokes)
  15. What sound does a turkey’s phone make?…Wing! Wing! (Top Thanksgiving Day Jokes)
  16. Top Thanksgiving Day Jokes: What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to?…Plymouth Rock!
  17. If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?… Their AGE! (Grandparents Day Jokes)
  18. Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctors?…He was feeling crummy. (Top Christmas Jokes)

December 2016
December JokesDecember Advertising OpportunitiesDecember Hashtag of the Day
Snow Day JokesChristmas Trivia

  1. What do you have in December that you don’t have in any other month?… The letter “D”!
  2. What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?… Cold cash! (Top Winter JokesTop Christmas Jokes)
  3. What is the difference between the alphabet and the Christmas alphabet?…The Christmas alphabet has no L (noel).  (Does Spelling REALLY matter?)
  4. If an athlete gets athlete’s foot, what does an astronaut get?…Missile Toe. (Top Astronomy Jokes)
  5. December 8th: National Brownie Day Jokes: How is a softball team like a brownie?… They both depend on a good batter! (Top Softball Jokes)
  6. December 25th: Top Christmas Jokes: What is the difference between the alphabet and the Christmas alphabet?…The Christmas alphabet has no L (noel) (Christmas Trivia26 Lessons for the Letter of the Week A- ZTop Elementary School Jokes)
  7. What did the triple jumper say to the track & field team on January 1st?… Hoppy New Year (365 Sports JokesTop Track & Field JokesSchool Jokes for New Year’s Eve)

January
January JokesTop Winter Jokes

  1. January 1st: New Year’s Day Jokes: What does the Easter Bunny say on New Year’s Day?…. Hoppy New Year! (Top Easter Jokes)
  2. How do snowmen travel around?… By icicle! (Top Cycling Jokes)
  3. Where the snowman does dances on?… A snow ball! (Top Winter Jokes)
  4. National Spaghetti Day Jokes: What do you call a pasta that is sick?… Mac and sneeze. (Top Winter Jokes)
  5. National Bird Day: What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?… Owlgebra! (101 Pi Day JokesAlgebra Jokes)
  6. What does Jack Frost like best about school?… Snow and tell. (Top Elementary School JokesTop Winter Jokes)
  7. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?… The alpha-BAT. (26 Lessons for the Letter of the Week A- Z)
  8. What’s the best place to grow flowers in school?… In the kindergarden. (26 Lessons for the Letter of the Week A- Z)
  9. Why are fish so smart?… They live in schools! (180 School Jokes)
  10. What is a snake’s favorite class?… Hissss-tory! (Great Lessons for Psychology and U.S. History)
  11. What did mama cow say to baby cow?… It’s pasture bedtime. (Mother’s Day Jokes)
  12. What did the square say to the old circle?… Been around long? (Top Math Jokes 101 Pi Day Jokes)
  13. Friday the 13th: What do get when you cross Jason Voorhees and a box of cherrios?… A cereal killer. (Top Cereal Day Jokes)
  14. Why are bananas good at gymnastics… They do great banana splits! (Top Gymnastics Jokes)
  15. What did the hat say to the tie?… “You hang around here…I’ll go on a head.” (Hat Day JokesBiology Jokes)
  16. Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?… It’s mole-itically incorrect (101 Mole Day JokesTop Election Jokes)
  17. 3.14% of Sailors are PI rates! (Top Pirate Jokes)
  18. What’s Winnie’s favorite bird?… Christopher Robin. (Winnie the Pooh JokesWinnie the Pooh Quotes)
  19. Why aren’t there many jokes about popcorn?… Because they are corny. (National Popcorn Day)
  20. What is the most popular college for inauguration?… The Electoral College(Inauguration DayTop College Jokes)
  21. When did Anakin’s Jedi masters know he was leaning towards the dark side?… In the Sith Grade.(Top Star Wars JokesTop Elementary School Jokes)
  1. Why are fish so smart?… They live in schools! (Top Elementary School Jokes)
  2. What is a snake’s favorite class?… Hissss-tory! (Great Lessons for Psychology and U.S. History)
  3. If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?…. Idaho, Alaska! (Top 10 U.S. States Jokes & Top Geography Jokes)
  4. What always sits in the corner but can move all round the world?… A stamp. (World Geography Jokes)
  1. What do you call a slow skier?… A slopepoke! (Top Skiing Jokes)
  2. Which runs faster, hot or cold?… Hot. Everyone can catch a cold. (180 School Jokes)
  3. Did people laugh when the lady fell on the ice?… No, but the ice cracked up. (Top Winter Jokes)
  4. How do you make a tissue dance?… Put a little boogey in it! (180 School Jokes)
  5. Did you hear about the kidnapping?… Probably not, he is still sleeping. (180 School Jokes)
  6. How do billboards talk?…. Sign language! (180 School Jokes)

February
February JokesTop Winter Jokes

  1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s was Sir Cumference… He ate too much Pi! (101 Pi Day Jokes)
  2. February 2nd: Top Ground Hog Day Jokes: What do you call Punxsutawney Phil’s laundry?… Hogwash.
  3. What is the snowman’s breakfast?… Frosted flakes! (Top Cereal Jokes)
  1. Why are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean?… They’re both below C level! (Top Geography Jokes)
  1. Why did the M&M go to school?… Because he really wanted to be a Smartie! (Top Candy Jokes)
  2. What makes a Cyclops such an effective teacher?… He has only one pupil. (Top Elementary School Jokes)
  3. Why do magicians do so well in school?… They’re good at trick questions. (Top Elementary School Jokes)
  4. Best school book never written: “The Best Subject in School” by Jim Class. (Top Elementary School Jokes)
  5. What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?… A teacher says, “Spit out that gum!” and a train says, “Chew! Chew!” (Top Elementary School Jokes)
  6. What kind of school do you go to if you’re a giant?… High school. (Top High School Jokes)
  7. What’s the king of all school supplies?… The ruler. (Top Elementary School Jokes)
  8. What school teaches you how to greet people?… “Hi” School. (Top High School Jokes)
  9. What kind of school do you go to if you’re King Arthur?… Knight school. (Top Elementary School Jokes)
  10. February 14th: Top 25 Valentine’s Day Jokes: Why is Valentine’s Day the best day for a celebration?… Because you can really party hearty!
  1. Teacher: Why are you doing your multiplication on the floor? Student: You said we had to do it without tables! (Top Jokes for Math Teachers)
  1. Why did the student eat his homework?… Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake. (Top Elementary School Jokes)
  2. What did the dentist give to the high school marching band?… A TUBA toothpaste. (Top Elementary School Jokes)
  3. Why is a math book always unhappy?… Because it always has lots of problems.(Top Jokes for Math Teachers).
  4. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the school dance?… He didn’t have anybody to take. (any BODY) (Top Biology Jokes)
  5. February 20th: President’s Day Jokes: What would you get if you crossed a gorilla with the sixteenth US president?…. Ape Lincoln!
  6. Why was the biology book in the hospital?… Because it hurt his spine. (Top Biology Jokes)
  7. Why did the music teacher need a ladder?… To reach the high notes. (Top Elementary School Jokes)
  1. PUPIL: “Would you punish me for something I didn’t do?” TEACHER: “Of course not.” PUPIL: “Good, because I haven`t done my homework.” (Top Elementary School Jokes)
  1. What’s a teacher’s favorite nation?… Expla-nation. (Top Elementary School Jokes)
  2. Teachers who take class attendance are absent-minded. (Top Grandparents Day Jokes)
  3. Teacher: If I had ten apples in my right hand and nine in my left, what would I have?… Student: Huge hands! (Top Jokes for Math Teachers)
  4. What is a chalkboard’s favorite drink?… hot chalk-olate! (Top Chocolate Jokes)
  5. Name a bus you can never enter?… A syllabus. (Top Elementary School Jokes)

March
Top Spring Jokes
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  1. What Dr. Seuss baseball book was never published?… “The Cat at Bat!” (Top Baseball Jokes)
  2. March 2nd: Dr. Seuss Jokes: Why doesn’t the Grinch like knock knock jokes?… Because there’s always Whos there! (Top Christmas Jokes)
  3. What is Sam-I-am’s middle name?… “I” (Dr. Seuss Jokes)
  4. March 7th: National Pancake Day Jokes: Did you hear about the angry pancake?… He just flipped..
  5. March 7th: National Cereal Day: Did you hear about Tony The Tiger’s murder?… Police suspect a cereal killer.
  6. March 9th: National Meatball Day: Where did the spaghetti go to dance?… The meat ball!
  7. 101 Pi Day Jokes: What is a math teacher’s favorite dessert?… Pi! (Top Math Jokes)
  8. March 13th: National Napping Day Jokes: Did you hear about the kidnapping?…. He’s still sleeping!
  9. March 14th: 101 Pi Day Jokes: 3.14% of Sailors are PI rates! (Top Pirate Jokes)
  10. March 15th: Ides of March Jokes: Why did Julius Caesar by crayons?… He wanted to Mark Anthony!
  11. March 17th: St. Patrick’s Day Jokes: Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun? …. Because they’re always a little short.
  12. March 20th: (1st Day of Spring): If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?… Pilgrims! (Top Social Studies JokesTop Thanksgiving Day Jokes)

May
Top Spring Jokes

  1. May 4th: Top 10 Star Wars Jokes (May the 4th be with you!)
  2. May 14th: Mothers’ Day JokesTop Quotes for Mothers
  3. May 29th: Top Memorial Day Jokes

By Month

June

  1. Summer Jokes for Kids
  2. National Donut Day: Why did the baker stop making donuts?… He was fed up with the hole business! (Labor Day Jokes & Donut Jokes for Kids#NationalDonutDay
  3. National Trails Day: Did hear the mountain joke?… You won’t get over it! #NationalTrailsDay
  4. Knock Knock… Who’s there!… B-4!… B-4 who?… B-4 you leave school, thank your teacher for a great year! (Write a Thank You Letter to A Teacher)
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  9. World Oceans Day: What has no beginning, end or middle & touches every continent?… The Ocean. #WorldsOceansDay#WorldOceanDay
  10. s
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  13. A book never written: “The Last Day of School?” by Wendy Belring (Top K-12 Jokes)
  14. Flag Day: How is a flag like Santa Claus?… They both hang out at the pole! (Christmas Jokes for KidsChristmas Trivia)
  15. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Gladys… Gladys, who?… Gladys the last day of school — no homework ALL SUMMER! (Top Summer Jokes)
  16. Summer Solstice Jokes: #SummerSolstice

July

  1. What kind of school do you go to if you’re an ice cream man?… Sundae school.
  2. What kind of school do you go to if you’re a surfer?… Boarding school. (Top Surfing Jokes)

 
August

August JokesTop Summer Jokes

  1. Do you know what Betty Crocker cupcakes & a Little League World Series team have in common?… They both count on the batter! (August 24th: Waffle Day Jokes)
  2. Did you hear the joke about the baseball?… It will leave you in stitches! (Top Little League Baseball Jokes)
  3. What did the baseball glove say to the ball?…”Catch ya later!” (Top Little League Baseball Jokes)
  4. Which baseball player holds water?…The pitcher. (Top Little League Baseball Jokes)
  5. Why are some umpires fat?…They always clean their plate! (Top Little League Baseball Jokes)
  6. Why are spiders good baseball players?… Because they know how to catch flies! (Top Little League Baseball Jokes)
  7. Why are baseball games at night?… Because bats sleep during the day! (Bats at the Beach is a Great Summer Book!Top Little League Baseball Jokes)

September JokesTop Fall JokesSeptember Advertising

  1. Teacher: Everybody hand in your homework, please. Students: Teacher, it’s the first day of school. We didn’t have any homework. Teacher: That’s right, and that’s the last excuse for not doing your homework that I’ll accept for the rest of the year. (Top Back To School Jokes)
  2. Mother: How did you find school on the 1st day today? Daughter: I just got off the bus and there it was! (Top Back To School Jokes)
  3. A book never written: “When Does School Start?” by Wendy Belrings. (Top Back To School Jokes)
  4. Teacher: What would happen if you took the school bus home? Student: The police would make you bring it back! (Top Back To School Jokes)
  5. Labor Day: Did you hear the joke about Labor Day?… It doesn’t work for me!(Top Labor Day Jokes)
  6. Grandparents Day: Knock! Knock!… Who’s there?… Grandma. Knock! Knock!… Who’s there?… Grandma… Knock! Knock!… Who’s there?… Grandma. Knock! Knock!… Who’s there?… Aunt. Aunt who?… Aunt you glad Grandma’s gone? (Grandparents Day Jokes)
  7. Did you hear that some NFL football teams don’t have a website?… They can’t string three “Ws” together. (Top NFL Jokes)
  8. What is a tree’s least favorite month?… Sep-timber! (Top Arbor Day Jokes)
  9. Why is 6 afraid of 7?… Because 7 8 (ate) 9! (Top Math Jokes)
  10. What do you call a grandpa whale?… A hunch back whale! (Top Grandparents Day Jokes)
  11. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, “I’m not sure.” “Look in your underwear, Grandpa,” he advised “Mine says I’m 4 to 6.” (Top Grandparents Day Jokes)
  12. Did you hear about the kidnapping?… Probably not, he is still sleeping.
  13. Why did the M&M go to school?… Because he really wanted to be a Smartie!(Top Halloween Jokes Top Elementary School Jokes)
  14. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?… The alpha-BAT. (26 Lessons for the Letter of the Week A- Z Top Elementary School Jokes)
  15. What do you call a teapot of boiling water on top of Mount Everest?… A high-pot-in-use. (Top Math Jokes of All-TimeTop Geography Jokes)
  16. Constitution Day: Constitution Day Jokes: How is a healthy person like the United States?… They both have good constitutions!
  17. Top Fall Jokes: What did the tree say to autumn?… Leave me alone! (Top Arbor Day Jokes)
  18. National Cheeseburger Day: Did you hear about the hamburger patty who told funny jokes?… He was on a roll! (French Fry JokesHot Dog Jokes)
  19. National Talk Like a Pirate Day: What is a pirate’s favorite letter?…. Most people think it’s the ‘R’rrrr, but really it’s the ‘C’ they love. (26 lessons for the Letter of the Week / Top 10 Talk Like A Pirate Day JokesTop Pirate Jokes)
  20. Where did the one legged pirate go for breakfast?… IHOP (Top 10 Talk Like A Pirate Day JokesTop Pirate Jokes)
  21. Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?… To make up for his miserable summer. (Top Summer JokesTop Fall Jokes)
  22. What did the tree say to autumn?… Leave me alone. (Top Fall Jokes)
  23. How do you fix a broken pumpkin?… With a pumpkin patch. (Top Fall Jokes)
  24. What is the most popular college during election season?… The Electoral College(2016 Presidential Election Jokes)
  25. How did George Washington speak to during his 1st presidential campaign?…. In general terms. (2016 Presidential Election JokesGeorge Washington Quotes)
  26. Did you hear the joke about the baseball?… It will leave you in stitches! (101 Baseball Jokes)
  27. What do you find in an empty nose?…fingerprints! (Top Elementary School Jokes)
  28. What do you get when you cross a baseball player with a monster?… a double header! (Top Baseball Jokes: Page #1 Google Search)
  29. What reads and lives in an apple?… A bookworm. (Can Your Child Read Too Much?180 School Jokes)
  30. What school subject is a witch good at?… Spelling. (Does Spelling REALLY matter?)

October JokesOctober Advertising Opportunities / October Hashtags

Top Fall Jokes

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  1. Who are the happiest people at the football game?… The cheerleaders. (College Football Jokes)
  2. How was Columbus’s ship like an avid shopper?… They’re both driven by sales! (Columbus Day Jokes)
  3. What’s the mole’s favorite college football team?… The Florida State Semimoles (College Football Jokes & 101 Mole Day Jokes)
  4. Why did the deer need braces?… He had buck teeth.
  5. Why was the big hairy, two-headed monster top of the class in school?… Because two heads are better than one. (180 School Jokes365 School Jokes)
  6. Why did the king go to the dentist?… To get a new crown! (Top Social Studies Jokes / 180 School Jokes / World Smile Day Jokes)
  7. When is the best time to go to the dentist?… At tooth-hurty (2:30). (180 School Jokes & World Smile Day Jokes)
  8. What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?… Straw-berries! (Top Fall Jokes)
  9. Where do farmers send their kids to grow?… Kinder-garden. (Top Elementary Jokes180 School Jokes)
  10. October 10th: Columbus Day: Columbus Day Jokes: Where did Columbus first land in America?… On his feet!
  11. What do farmers use to make crop circles?… A Protractor (Top Pi Day Jokes)
  12. October 12th: National Farmer’s Day: What new crop did the farmer plant?… Beets me!
  13. What did the tree say to autumn?… Leave me alone. (Top Fall Jokes)
  14. Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize?… Because he was out standing in his field! (Top Fall Jokes)
  15. What’s the difference between a quarterback and a baby?… One takes the snap, the other takes a nap. (College Football Jokes101 Mole Day Jokes)
  16. Did you hear the joke about the baseball?… It will leave you in stitches! (World Series Baseball Jokes)
  17. How much does Avogadro exaggerate?… He makes mountains out of mole hills. (Top Geography Jokes101 Mole Day Jokes)
  18. Which state does the most laundry?… Washington. (Top 10 U.S. States Jokes)
  19. Why didn’t Dracula have any friends?…He was a pain in the neck! (Top Biology Jokes)
  20. What school subject is a witch good at?… Spelling. (Does Spelling REALLY matter?)
  21. What do you get when you cross a baseball player with a monster?… a double header! (Top Halloween Sports JokesTop Baseball Jokes: Page #1 Google Search)
  22. What’s the ratio of a pumpkin’s circumference to its diameter?… Pumpkin Pi (101 Pi Day Jokes)
  23. October 23rd: 101 Mole Day Jokes (Top Science Jokes): What did one mole say to the other?… We make great chemistry together.
  24. October 24th: United Nations Day Jokes: I Hague to tell you, we do not have too many United Nations Jokes. (World Geography JokesTop Geography Jokes)
  25. What did the baseball glove say to the ball?…”Catch ya later!” (World Series Baseball Jokes)
  26. National Pumpkin Day: Top Pumpkin Jokes: What did the pumpkin need for its boo boo?… A pumpkin patch. (Halloween Jokes)
  27. National Chocolate Day: Chocolate Jokes: What did the M&M go to college?… Because he wanted to be a Smarty. (Top College Jokes)
  28. National Cat Day: Top Cat Jokes: What is a cat’s favorite color?… Purrrple!
  29. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?…Watch the board and I’ll go through it again. (Top Teacher Jokes & Top Halloween Jokes)
  30. Where does a vampire keep his money?… In a blood bank. (Top Biology Jokes & Top Halloween Jokes)
  31. October 31st: Top Halloween Jokes: The nurse walked into the busy doctor’s office and said, “Doctor, the invisible man is here.” The doctor replied, “Sorry, I can’t see him.”

November 2016

November JokesNovember Advertising OpportunitiesNovember Hashtag of the Day

Top 10 Geography Week Jokes

  1. What month should you never ask to the prom? NO – vember. (November JokesClean Prom Jokes)
  2. National Sandwich Day: What did the ghost eat for lunch?… A booloney sandwich! (Top Halloween JokesTop High School Jokes)
  3. Why did the police officer go to the baseball game?… Someone stole second base!(Top World Series Jokes)
  4. National Candy Day: What kind of bear has no teeth?… A gummy bear (National Candy Day Jokes)
  5. Daylight Saving Time: What does a clock do when it’s hungry?… It goes back for seconds! (Top Sandwich Day Jokes & Top Day Lightsavings Jokes)
  6. Daylight Saving Time: Why did the girl throw the clock out the window?… Because she wanted to see time fly. (Top Sandwich Day Jokes & Top Day Lightsavings Jokes)
  7. Election Eve: Presidential Election Jokes (Electoral College: Highest to LowestTop Social Studies JokesTop 500 U.S. Jokes): What is the most popular college during election season?… The Electoral College.
  8. 2016 Election Day ResultsPresidential Election Jokes How did George Washington speak to during his 1st presidential campaign?…. In general terms. (Top George Washington Quotes)
  9. Where did the General put his armies?… In his sleevies. (get it his sleeves)?
  10. Top Thanksgiving Day Jokes: If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflowers bring?… Pilgrims (The Mayflower Ship)
  11. Veterans Day: Top Veterans Day Jokes: What was General Washington’s favorite tree?…The infan-tree! (Top 40 4th of July JokesTop Arbor Day Jokes)
  12. National Pizza Day: What’s the difference between a pizza & our pizza jokes?… Our pizza jokes can’t be topped!
  13. National Pizza Day: Want to hear a joke about pizza?… Never mind, it’s too cheesy.
  14. The Beaver Moon: Why couldn’t the astronaut book a room on the moon?… Because it was full! (Astronomy Jokes & Full Moon Jokes)
  15. What sound does a turkey’s phone make?…Wing! Wing! (Top Thanksgiving Day Jokes)
  16. Top Thanksgiving Day Jokes: What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to?…Plymouth Rock!
  17. If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?… Their AGE! (Grandparents Day Jokes)
  18. Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctors?…He was feeling crummy. (Top Christmas Jokes)

December 2016
December JokesDecember Advertising OpportunitiesDecember Hashtag of the Day
Snow Day JokesChristmas Trivia

  1. What do you have in December that you don’t have in any other month?… The letter “D”!
  2. What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?… Cold cash! (Top Winter JokesTop Christmas Jokes)
  3. What is the difference between the alphabet and the Christmas alphabet?…The Christmas alphabet has no L (noel).  (Does Spelling REALLY matter?)
  4. If an athlete gets athlete’s foot, what does an astronaut get?…Missile Toe. (Top Astronomy Jokes)
  5. December 8th: National Brownie Day Jokes: How is a softball team like a brownie?… They both depend on a good batter! (Top Softball Jokes)
  6. December 25th: Top Christmas Jokes: What is the difference between the alphabet and the Christmas alphabet?…The Christmas alphabet has no L (noel) (Christmas Trivia26 Lessons for the Letter of the Week A- ZTop Elementary School Jokes)
  7. What did the triple jumper say to the track & field team on January 1st?… Hoppy New Year (365 Sports JokesTop Track & Field JokesSchool Jokes for New Year’s Eve)

January
January JokesTop Winter Jokes

  1. January 1st: New Year’s Day Jokes: What does the Easter Bunny say on New Year’s Day?…. Hoppy New Year! (Top Easter Jokes)
  2. How do snowmen travel around?… By icicle! (Top Cycling Jokes)
  3. Where the snowman does dances on?… A snow ball! (Top Winter Jokes)
  4. National Spaghetti Day Jokes: What do you call a pasta that is sick?… Mac and sneeze. (Top Winter Jokes)
  5. National Bird Day: What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?… Owlgebra! (101 Pi Day JokesAlgebra Jokes)
  6. What does Jack Frost like best about school?… Snow and tell. (Top Elementary School JokesTop Winter Jokes)
  7. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?… The alpha-BAT. (26 Lessons for the Letter of the Week A- Z)
  8. What’s the best place to grow flowers in school?… In the kindergarden. (26 Lessons for the Letter of the Week A- Z)
  9. Why are fish so smart?… They live in schools! (180 School Jokes)
  10. What is a snake’s favorite class?… Hissss-tory! (Great Lessons for Psychology and U.S. History)
  11. What did mama cow say to baby cow?… It’s pasture bedtime. (Mother’s Day Jokes)
  12. What did the square say to the old circle?… Been around long? (Top Math Jokes 101 Pi Day Jokes)
  13. Friday the 13th: What do get when you cross Jason Voorhees and a box of cherrios?… A cereal killer. (Top Cereal Day Jokes)
  14. Why are bananas good at gymnastics… They do great banana splits! (Top Gymnastics Jokes)
  15. What did the hat say to the tie?… “You hang around here…I’ll go on a head.” (Hat Day JokesBiology Jokes)
  16. Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?… It’s mole-itically incorrect (101 Mole Day JokesTop Election Jokes)
  17. 3.14% of Sailors are PI rates! (Top Pirate Jokes)
  18. What’s Winnie’s favorite bird?… Christopher Robin. (Winnie the Pooh JokesWinnie the Pooh Quotes)
  19. Why aren’t there many jokes about popcorn?… Because they are corny. (National Popcorn Day)
  20. What is the most popular college for inauguration?… The Electoral College(Inauguration DayTop College Jokes)
  21. When did Anakin’s Jedi masters know he was leaning towards the dark side?… In the Sith Grade.(Top Star Wars JokesTop Elementary School Jokes)
  1. Why are fish so smart?… They live in schools! (Top Elementary School Jokes)
  2. What is a snake’s favorite class?… Hissss-tory! (Great Lessons for Psychology and U.S. History)
  3. If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?…. Idaho, Alaska! (Top 10 U.S. States Jokes & Top Geography Jokes)
  4. What always sits in the corner but can move all round the world?… A stamp. (World Geography Jokes)
  1. What do you call a slow skier?… A slopepoke! (Top Skiing Jokes)
  2. Which runs faster, hot or cold?… Hot. Everyone can catch a cold. (180 School Jokes)
  3. Did people laugh when the lady fell on the ice?… No, but the ice cracked up. (Top Winter Jokes)
  4. How do you make a tissue dance?… Put a little boogey in it! (180 School Jokes)
  5. Did you hear about the kidnapping?… Probably not, he is still sleeping. (180 School Jokes)
  6. How do billboards talk?…. Sign language! (180 School Jokes)

February
February JokesTop Winter Jokes

  1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s was Sir Cumference… He ate too much Pi! (101 Pi Day Jokes)
  2. February 2nd: Top Ground Hog Day Jokes: What do you call Punxsutawney Phil’s laundry?… Hogwash.
  3. What is the snowman’s breakfast?… Frosted flakes! (Top Cereal Jokes)
  1. Why are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean?… They’re both below C level! (Top Geography Jokes)
  1. Why did the M&M go to school?… Because he really wanted to be a Smartie! (Top Candy Jokes)
  2. What makes a Cyclops such an effective teacher?… He has only one pupil. (Top Elementary School Jokes)
  3. Why do magicians do so well in school?… They’re good at trick questions. (Top Elementary School Jokes)
  4. Best school book never written: “The Best Subject in School” by Jim Class. (Top Elementary School Jokes)
  5. What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?… A teacher says, “Spit out that gum!” and a train says, “Chew! Chew!” (Top Elementary School Jokes)
  6. What kind of school do you go to if you’re a giant?… High school. (Top High School Jokes)
  7. What’s the king of all school supplies?… The ruler. (Top Elementary School Jokes)
  8. What school teaches you how to greet people?… “Hi” School. (Top High School Jokes)
  9. What kind of school do you go to if you’re King Arthur?… Knight school. (Top Elementary School Jokes)
  10. February 14th: Top 25 Valentine’s Day Jokes: Why is Valentine’s Day the best day for a celebration?… Because you can really party hearty!
  1. Teacher: Why are you doing your multiplication on the floor? Student: You said we had to do it without tables! (Top Jokes for Math Teachers)
  1. Why did the student eat his homework?… Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake. (Top Elementary School Jokes)
  2. What did the dentist give to the high school marching band?… A TUBA toothpaste. (Top Elementary School Jokes)
  3. Why is a math book always unhappy?… Because it always has lots of problems.(Top Jokes for Math Teachers).
  4. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the school dance?… He didn’t have anybody to take. (any BODY) (Top Biology Jokes)
  5. February 20th: President’s Day Jokes: What would you get if you crossed a gorilla with the sixteenth US president?…. Ape Lincoln!
  6. Why was the biology book in the hospital?… Because it hurt his spine. (Top Biology Jokes)
  7. Why did the music teacher need a ladder?… To reach the high notes. (Top Elementary School Jokes)
  1. PUPIL: “Would you punish me for something I didn’t do?” TEACHER: “Of course not.” PUPIL: “Good, because I haven`t done my homework.” (Top Elementary School Jokes)
  1. What’s a teacher’s favorite nation?… Expla-nation. (Top Elementary School Jokes)
  2. Teachers who take class attendance are absent-minded. (Top Grandparents Day Jokes)
  3. Teacher: If I had ten apples in my right hand and nine in my left, what would I have?… Student: Huge hands! (Top Jokes for Math Teachers)
  4. What is a chalkboard’s favorite drink?… hot chalk-olate! (Top Chocolate Jokes)
  5. Name a bus you can never enter?… A syllabus. (Top Elementary School Jokes)

March
Top Spring Jokes
IPractice Math is a great resource for parents and teachers! It offers learning topics in AlgebraCalculusDecimalsFractions, and Consumer MathTeachers and independent learners can register. here to register.

  1. What Dr. Seuss baseball book was never published?… “The Cat at Bat!” (Top Baseball Jokes)
  2. March 2nd: Dr. Seuss Jokes: Why doesn’t the Grinch like knock knock jokes?… Because there’s always Whos there! (Top Christmas Jokes)
  3. What is Sam-I-am’s middle name?… “I” (Dr. Seuss Jokes)
  4. March 7th: National Pancake Day Jokes: Did you hear about the angry pancake?… He just flipped..
  5. March 7th: National Cereal Day: Did you hear about Tony The Tiger’s murder?… Police suspect a cereal killer.
  6. March 9th: National Meatball Day: Where did the spaghetti go to dance?… The meat ball!
  7. 101 Pi Day Jokes: What is a math teacher’s favorite dessert?… Pi! (Top Math Jokes)
  8. March 13th: National Napping Day Jokes: Did you hear about the kidnapping?…. He’s still sleeping!
  9. March 14th: 101 Pi Day Jokes: 3.14% of Sailors are PI rates! (Top Pirate Jokes)
  10. March 15th: Ides of March Jokes: Why did Julius Caesar by crayons?… He wanted to Mark Anthony!
  11. March 17th: St. Patrick’s Day Jokes: Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun? …. Because they’re always a little short.
  12. March 20th: (1st Day of Spring): If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?… Pilgrims! (Top Social Studies JokesTop Thanksgiving Day Jokes)

May
Top Spring Jokes

  1. May 4th: Top 10 Star Wars Jokes (May the 4th be with you!)
  2. May 14th: Mothers’ Day JokesTop Quotes for Mothers
  3. May 29th: Top Memorial Day Jokes