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Top Joke Pages: (Ocean Jokes)

More Ocean Jokes…

  1. What kind of candy would a drowning person like to have?… A life saver! (Candy Jokes)
  2. Where do goldfish go on vacation?… Around the globe! (Ocean Jokes for Kids & Geography Jokes for Kids)
  3. What does the ocean use to clean its clothes?… Tide.
  4. Why did the lobster blush?… It saw the ocean’s bottom. (Lobster Jokes for Kids & Summer Jokes for Kids)
  5. What did Cinderella wear when she went swimming in the ocean?… Glass flippers! (Cinderella Jokes)
  6. What is the best way to communicate with a fish?… Drop it a line! (Fishing Jokes & Fish Jokes)
  7. Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?… He didn’t have a leg to stand on! (Shark Jokes for Kids)
  8. What is a pirate’s favorite letter?…. Most people think it’s the ‘R’rrrr, but really it’s the ‘C’ they love. (26 lessons for the Letter of the Week & Pirate Jokes)
  9. How does the ocean floor stay up-to-date on the news?…. By following current events, of course.
  10. How much trash do you have to throw in the ocean to make a new country?… None, just some tea. (American Revolution Jokes / Tea Jokes / Earth Day Jokes)
  11. A friendly reminder: Sharks live in the ocean. Year-round. (Shark Jokes)
  12. What do a bad hockey teams and the Titanic have in common?… They both look good until they hit the ice. (Hockey Jokes)
  13. A new study shows sharks only bite those who swim in the ocean. Researchers advise not swimming there. (Swimming Jokes & Shark Jokes)
  14. What did the sea captain say to the hockey player using the row boat?… Bobby Orr. (Hockey Jokes)
  15. What did the fish get on his math test?… A sea plus. (180 School Jokes)
  16. Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?… Because they dropped out of school. (180 School Jokes)
  17. I went to an ocean themed (retirement / graduation / birthday / prom) party… It was a whale of a time. (Whale Jokes)
  18. Ocean walks in to a bar Bartender says “why so blue?” (Psychology Jokes & Ocean Jokes)
  19. Can you call the ocean something else?… Shore.
  20. Why did the teacher dive into the ocean, lake, river, or pool?… She wanted to test the water! (Swimming Jokes / Teacher Jokes / 180 School Jokes / Ocean Jokes)
  21. How does the ocean pay its water bill?… With sand dollars.
  22. A BOOK NEVER WRITTEN: “A Marine Biologist’s Office” by D.O. Shun. (Book Jokes)
  23. Do you know where fishes work?… The Offish! (Top Animal Jokes for Kids)
  24. What did the magician say to the fisherman?… Pick a cod, any cod!
  25. What kind of hair do oceans have? – Wavy!
  26. Who keeps the oceans clean?… Mermaids.
  27. What do you call an ocean full of tacos?… Flotilla. (Cinco De Mayo Jokes)
  28. Why did Frosty go and live in the middle of the ocean?… Because snowman is an island.
  29. Do you now why they use knots instead of miles in the ocean?… Because they’ve got to keep the ocean tide.
  30. Why did the physicist throw the stop sign into the ocean?… He was studying sign waves. (Car Jokes & Physics Jokes)
  31. Did you hear the results of the game between the beach and the ocean?… It’s tide.
  32. Did you here the joke about the ocean…?Nevermind, its too deep for you
  33. What’s the best tool in the ocean?… A hammerhead shark.
  34. One day the amount of plastic in the ocean will be irreversible… That will be the last straw. (Earth Day Jokes)
  35. Why are ocean levels so high?… sea weed.
  36. What did the wise papa fish tell his son?… Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
  37. What does a mermaid wear to math class?… An algae-bra, naturally.
  38. What keeps the ocean from leaking out?… The seals. (Seal Jokes)
  39. Why did the pirate fail his spelling class?…. Because he insisted there were seven ‘C’s. (Deos Selplnig Ralely Mtetar? / Spelling Lists / Pirate Jokes / 180 School Jokes)
  40. What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?…The Codfather.
  41. Why did the middle school student drown?… All her grades were below C-level! (Middle School Jokes)
  42. What do you call a lazy crayfish? – A slobster!
  43. “Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.” (Book Jokes)
  44. A BOOK NEVER WRITTEN: “Different Types of Lockers” by Dave E. Jones. (Book Jokes)
  45. A BOOK NEVER WRITTEN: “A Perfect Day for Sailing” by Wynn Dee. (Book Jokes)
  46. Where does a killer whale go for braces?… The orca-dontist. (Dentist Jokes for Kids)
  47. My friend has an unhealthy obsession with ocean life I told her to sea kelp. (Career Blogs)
  48. What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?… It was just a fluke!
  49.  What would you find on a haunted beach?… A sand-witch! 
  50. Why did the algae and the fungus get married?… They took a lichen to each other (although, unfortunately, their marriage is now on the rocks)
  51. Two wind turbines sit in the ocean, one turns to the other and says “What music do you listen to? I like pop myself”. The other turbine says “I’m a massive heavy metal fan!” (Earth Day Jokes & Music Jokes)
  52. Have you heard about the restaurant that caters only to dolphins?… It only has 1 customer, but at least it serves a porpoise. (Dolphin Jokes)
  53. What do you do with a sick boat?…. Bring it to the dock! (Doctor Jokes & Fishing Jokes)
  54. Boat puns are *ferry* funny! (Fishing Jokes)
  55. What did the fisherman say when his fishing line got tangled?… Something a-piers to be wrong… (Fishing Jokes)
  56. What did the ocean say to the pirate?… Nothing—it just waved! (Pirate Jokes)
  57. What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?… I think we need to scale things back here.
  58. There arrrr plenty more funny pirate jokes where that came from! (Pirate Jokes)
  59. Did you hear about the martial artists who fought on the beach?… They faced off in sand-to-sand combat. (Boxing Jokes)
  60. What crashes onto the shore on very small beaches?…. Micro-waves.
  61. What did the sand say when the tide came back in?… Long time, no sea!
  62. What do you call 2 sodium atoms in the ocean?… tuNa (Fishing Jokes & Chemistry Jokes)
  63. What did the shark plead in the murder case?…Not gill-ty. (Shark Jokes for Kids)
  64. What happened when Red Beard fell in the Deep Blue Sea?… He got marooned. (Jokes for Kids)
  65. What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?… One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.
  66. Two sailors were out in their boat when a hand appeared in the ocean. ‘What’s that?’ asked the first sailor, ‘It looks as if someone’s drowning!’ ‘Nonsense,’ replied the second, ‘it was just a little wave.’ (Biology Jokes)
  67. I met a sailor who liked to put helium balloons in his ship… Whatever floats your boat I guess!
  68. Why did the whale cross the road?… To get to the other tide! (Ocean Jokes for Kids & Whale Jokes)
  69. Which fish is the most famous in the ocean?… The star fish! (Top Animal Jokes for Kids)
  70. What did one tide pool say to the other tide pool?… Show me your mussels. (Summer Camp Jokes for Kids)
  71. What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?… Sanka. (Coffee Jokes)
  72. Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?… Pier pressure.
  73. The worst thing about sea sickness?… It comes in waves!
  74. Why did the shark spit out the clown?… Because he tasted funny!
  75. Why did the fish blush? Because it saw the ocean’s bottom! 
  76. Why is the sea so strong?… Because it has a lot of mussels. 
  77.  “How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?” 
  78. “Pass me the shellfish,” he said crabbily. 
  79. How did the ocean say hello to the sun?… It waved.What sea creature can add up?… An octo-plus!
  80. Why are pirates called pirates?… Just because they arrrrr!
  81.  What do mussels do on their birthdays?… They shell-ebrate!
  82.  What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?… Aye matey!
  83. What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?… Cliff!
  84. What is a pirate’s favorite letter?… ARR!
  85. Why are dolphins so smart…? Because within three hours they can train a human to stand at the edge of the pool and feed them fish!
  86. Why are octopuses good in a war?… They’re well armed! 
  87. What kind of horse is good at swimming?… A seahorse!
  88. Where do fish sleep?… On the sea bed!
  89. Last night I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda… I guess it was just a Fanta sea!
  90. What do you call a violent fish?… A smackeral!
  91. How to pirates get to the airport?… They rent a cARRR!
  92. Why are pirates great singers?… They hit the high Cs!
  93. What do sea monsters eat?… Fish and ships!
  94. Why don’t clams give to charity?… Because they’re shellfish!
  95. Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?… Just for the halibut.
  96. What did the carp say to his crush?… Don’t play koi with me!
  97. What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?… Can you please be more Pacific?
  98. Why don’t fish play soccer or lacrosse?… They’re scared of nets!
  99. What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?… It a-piers we have a problem.
  100. How did the ocean say hello to the sun after the eclipse?… It waved. (Full Moon Jokes for Kids)
  101. What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?… I don’t quite sea it that way.
  102. Why does the mermaid wear seashells?… Because she grew out of her B-shells.
  103. Why did the lobster blush?… Because the sea weed.
  104. What did the sarcastic otter say?… I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
  105. Why is the ocean so unknown?… Because it has many sea crits.
  106. Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?… It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
  107. Where do shellfish go to borrow money?… The prawn broker.
  108. What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?… Whale of Fortune.
  109. What is a blue whale’s favorite James Bond Film?… Licence to Krill.
  110. Where does seaweed look for a job?… In the kelp-wanted section.
  111. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?… A nervous wreck.
  112. What does seaweed say when it’s stuck at the bottom of the sea?… “Kelp! Kelp!”
  113. What do baleen whales call a hook-up?… Netflix and krill.
  114. What type of Ape lives in the ocean?…A Shrimpanzee.
  115. Why do freshwater fish cry so much?… They’re just a stream of emotions.
  116. I hate it when British people talk about the big pile of trash in the ocean. They shouldn’t talk about their country like that.
  117. What did the beach say to the wave?… “Long tide, no sea.”
  118. What is the strongest creature in the ocean?… A mussel! (Sports Jokes for Kids)
  119. What has no beginning, end or middle & touches every continent?… The Ocean.
  120. The seaside summer camp we visited last summer was so boring that one day the tide went out and never came back. (Summer Camp Jokes for Kids)
  121. How do you cut a wave in half?… Use a sea saw. (Ocean Jokes for Kids)
  122. Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef?… To get to the other TIDE. (Shark Jokes)
  123. What kind of turtles and are easy to see?… Green See Turtles. (Turtle Jokes for Kids)
  124. Which is the thirstiest ocean on the planet?… The Gulp of Mexico.
  125. What did Columbus say when he was accused of speeding through the port?… I did knot! (Columbus Day Jokes)
  126. Why was Columbus in trouble with the ocean?… He crossed it. (Columbus Day Jokes)
  127. What did Columbus use for money?… Sand dollars. (Columbus Day Jokes)
  128. How did Columbus avoid scurvy?… Vitamin Sea. (Columbus Day Jokes)
  129. What do fish sing during winter?… Christmas corals. (Music Jokes & Christmas Jokes)
  130. What did the Pacific Ocean say to the Atlantic Ocean?… Nothing, it just waved!
  131. Why did Columbus put one of his sailors in time-out?… He was being naughty-cal. (Columbus Day Jokes)
  132. What did Avogadro collect at the seashore?… mole-uscs. (Mole Day Jokes)
  133. How did the octupus make Christopher Columbus laugh?…With ten-tickles. (Columbus Day Jokes & Octopus Jokes)
  134. Who taught Christopher Columbus how to sail?… Bo Ting. (Columbus Day Jokes)
  135. What was Columbus’s favorite letter of the alphabet?…C (Sea). (Columbus Day Jokes)
  136. Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?… Because they can spend years at C. (26 lessons for the Letter of the Week / Ocean Jokes) / Pirate Jokes)
  137. What do a bad hockey team (insert name) and the Titanic have in common?… They both look good until they hit the ice! (Hockey Jokes)
  138. Why are gulls named seagulls?… If they were by the bay, they’d be bagels! (Summer Camp Jokes for Kids & Bagel Jokes)
  139. What does seaweed say when it’s stuck at the bottom of the sea?… “Kelp! Kelp!”
  140. Where do you calculate the mass of a cetacean?… At a Whale-Weigh Station
  141. A salmon walks into a vegetarian restaurant and the waiter says, “Sorry, we don’t serve fish.”
  142. Algae A (to Algae B): “How are things?”Algae B: “Good thanks; business is blooming”
  143. What’s the best thing to give a seasick monster?… Plenty of room!
  144. What do you get when you put the Titanic with the Atlantic Ocean?… About halfway
  145. I used to think that oceans were made out of soda. Guess it was just a Fanta Sea.
  146. Why did the seawater keep walking around in circles?… Because it was gyred.
  147. What’s the best place to get Italian food in the ocean?… The Marinara trench
  148. What do you call it when a fish makes it to the ocean?… Afishinsea
  149. Why do scuba divers fall backwards to enter the ocean?… If they fell forward they would just fall into the boat.
  150. Want to know why ocean is so salty?… Because land never waves back.
  151. Where do crabs and lobsters catch their trains?… Kings Crustacean
  152. What did one flat-fish parasite say to the other at the end of their date?… “Your plaice or mine?”
  153. Where do little fish go every morning? … To plaice school.
  154. Why don’t oysters give to charity?… Because they’re shellfish
  155. What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea?… It gets wet.
  156. Why don’t oysters give to charity?… Because they’re shellfish!
  157. Which bus crossed the Atlantic Ocean?… Christopher ColumBUS.
  158. Why are seabirds so lucky in love?… Because one good tern always deserves another. (Bird Jokes)
  159. What happens when you throw a red rock in the Black Sea?… It sinks to the bottom.
  160. BEACH LOVER 1: What’s your favorite beach you’ve ever been to?BEACH LOVER 2: It’s a beach in California!BEACH LOVER 1: California has a lot of beaches, could you please be more Pacific?
  161. I don’t understand why we have to clean the oceans……won’t it just wash off?
  162. So I was at Mexico and I asked a man if what we were looking at was the ocean. He said: “Si”
  163. Did you hear about the computer that was thrown into the ocean?… It was a Dell rolling in the deep.
  164. What happened to the shark that swallowed a bunch of keys?…It got lockjaw. (Shark Jokes for Kids)
  165. What happens when the ocean gets pregnant?…It gets a sea section.
  166. What’s red, white, blue and green? A seasick Uncle Sam. (4th of July Jokes for Kids)
  167. Where do crabs & lobsters catch their trains?… Kings Crustacean.
  168. What puts the white lines on the ocean?… An ocean liner.
  169. Why don’t oysters share their pearls?… Because they’re shellfish. (Summer Camp Jokes
  170. Why did the crab cross the beach?… To get to the other tide!
  171. Why did the octopus blush?… He saw the bottom of the ocean. (Octopus Jokes)
  172. Why did the octopus cross the road?… To get to the other TIDE!!! (Octopus Jokes)
  173. Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?… All the sailors were marooned.
  174. Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?… Because they spend years at C! (Pirate Jokes for Kids)
  175. What did one wave say to the other wave?… Nothing. It just waved.
  176. What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?… Show me your mussels. (Sports Jokes for Kids)
  177. PG-13
  178. Why did the lobster blush?… Because the sea weed.
  179. What does a mermaid wear to maths lessons?… An algae-bra
  180. Why did the algae & the fungus get married?… They took a lichen to each other (although, unfortunately, their marriage is now on the rocks)
  181. What is a cetacean’s favorite TV show?… Whale of fortune.
  182. Where do shellfish go to borrow money?… The prawn broker.
  183. What is a blue whale’s favorite James Bond Film?… Licence to Krill.
  184. Where does seaweed look for a job?… In the ‘Kelp-wanted’ ads.
  185. A salmon walks into a vegetarian restaurant and the waiter says, “Sorry, we don’t serve fish.”
  186. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?… A nervous wreck.
  187. Where do you calculate the mass of a cetacean?… At a Whale-Weigh Station.
  188. Algae A (to Algae B): “How are things?”Algae B: “Good thanks; business is blooming.”
  189. Why does the mermaid wear seashells?…Because she grew out of her B-shells.
  190. Why did the seawater keep walking around in circles?… Because it was gyred.
  191. What did one flat-fish parasite say to the other at the end of their date?… “Your plaice or mine?”
  192. What’s up, buoys and gulls? I’m ready to make waves today!
  193. Don’t worry, beach happy!
  194. I’m swimming at the beach, water you doing today?
  195. How can you amplify a pirate’s DNA?… PC Arghhh.
  196. Why can’t blind people eat fish?/// Because it’s sea food.