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- What is a tree’s favorite drink?… Root beer. (Camping Jokes for Kids)
- How do trees get on the internet?… They log in. (Computer Jokes for Kids)
- Did you hear the joke about the oak tree?… It’s acorny one!
- What is a tree’s least favorite month?… Sep-timber! (Funny Jokes for Each Month)
- What did one leaf say to another?… I’m falling for you. (Valentine’s Day Jokes & Fall Jokes)
- If money really did grow on trees, what would be everyone’s favorite season?… Fall. (Tree Jokes)
- What is a pirate’s favorite holiday?… AHRRRRR-bor Day! (Pirate Jokes for Kids)
- Why did the boy climb up the tree with a hockey stick… Cause he wanted to join the maple leafs. (Hockey Jokes & Canada Day Jokes)
- Did you hear the one about the redwood?… It’s tree-mendous!
- What was General Washington’s favorite tree?… The infan-tree. (American Revolution Jokes & Arbor Day Jokes)
- A lumberjack went into a magic forest to cut a tree. Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree. It shouted, “Wait! I’m a talking tree!” The lumberjack smiled, “and you will dialogue.” (Smile Jokes)
- What did the tree wear to the pool party?… Swimming trunks! (Summer Jokes for Kids & Swimming Jokes)
- How do leaves get from place to place?… With autumn-mobiles. (Fall Jokes & Car Jokes)
- What kind of tree does a math teacher climb?… Geometry. (Geometry Jokes & Arbor Day Jokes)
- Would you ever try the acorn diet?… No way! It sounds nuts!
- Why was the pine tree sent to its room?… Because it was being knotty!
- If you’re in the woods, how can you tell if a tree is a dogwood?… By its bark. (Dog Jokes for Kids)
- What band to trees listen to on the 4th of July?… Spruce Springsteen and the Tree Street Band. (Music Jokes & 4th of July Jokes)
- Did you hear the joke about tree?… It’ll leaf you laughing! (Fall Jokes for Kids)
- How can you identify a dogwood tree?… By its bark!
- What’s a tree’s favorite radio station?… One that plays poplar songs!
- Why do trees have so many friends?… They branch out. (Camping Jokes for Kids)
- Do you want a brief explanation of an acorn?…In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.
- What kind of plant grows on your hand?… Palm tree. (Tree Jokes & Biology Jokes)
- What type of tree likes to give high fives?… A palm tree!
- What did the little tree say to the big tree? — Leaf me alone!
- Spring is here, and the trees are getting their foliage back… What a releaf. (Spring Jokes)
- What happens to trees on Valentine’s Day?… They get sappy!
- Which Canadian city is a tree’s favorite?… Montreeal!
- If fruit comes from a fruit tree, where does turkey come from?… A poul-tree! (Arbor Day Jokes) (Turkey Jokes & Tree Jokes)
- What do you call a tree that doubts autumn?… Disbe-leaf. (Fall Jokes for Kids)
- Why did the leaf go to the doctor?… It was feeling green. (Earth Day & Doctor Jokes)
- What falls in autumn?… Leaves! (Fall Jokes & Tree Jokes)
- Winter can be pretty dreary with all the bare trees, so when spring comes it’s such a re-leaf. (Tree Jokes & Winter Jokes)
- What song do trees HATE!… Timber by Pit Bull & Kesha. (Tree Jokes & Music Jokes)
- What did a tree fighting with autumn say?… That’s it, I’m leaving. (Tree Jokes & Boxing Jokes)
- What did the beaver say to the tree?… “It’s been nice gnawing you!” (Tree Jokes for Kids)
- What did the tree say after a long winter?… What a re-leaf. (Winter Jokes)
- What happens if the ground log sees its shadow?… We’ll have six more weeks of splinters! (Groundhog Day Jokes)
- Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe. (Labor Day Jokes)
- Where does Avogadro plant his trees?… moles in the ground. (Mole Day Jokes)
- What did the tree say to spring?… What a re-leaf. (Spring Jokes)
- What emotion does a tree feel every spring?… Relief. (Spring Jokes)
- Why did you give the tree some aspirin?… Because I heard it was a sycamore! (Doctor Jokes for Kids)
- What did the beaver say to the tree?… “It’s been nice gnawing you!” (Tree Jokes for Kids)
- What kind of tree is often found in the kitchen?… A pantry!
- What is your favorite type of tree?… A pastry!
- Why was the tree drooling?… It was a dogwood. (Dog Jokes for Kids)
- Why did you plant a board and nails on Arbor Day?… I was trying to grow a tree house!
- What do you call a whole day planting trees?… Arbore Day
- What did Obi Wan Kenobi say to the tree?… May the Forest be with you. (Star Wars Jokes for Kids)
- Did you hear about the tree that had to take time off of work in autumn?… It was on paid leaf. (Fall Jokes for Kids)
- What did the tree say to autumn?… Leave me alone.(Fall Jokes for Kids)
- Why are trees very forgiving?… Because in the Fall they “Let It Go” and in the Spring they “turn over a new leaf.” (Spring Jokes & Fall Jokes)
- What do you call the world’s sleepiest tree?… Mesnoozelah!
- Why do trees hate riddles?… Because it’s too easy to get stumped!
- Why did the tree get stumped?… It couldn’t get to the root of the problem!
- What did the tree do when the bank closed?… It opened its own branch!
- Why do Christmas trees have trouble sewing?… They can’t stop dropping their needles!
- What was wrong with the tree’s car?… It wooden go!
- What’s a tree’s favorite subject in school?… Geometree!
- Why are trees the best networkers?… They’re constantly branching out!
- Why don’t you ever see hippos hiding in trees?… Because they’re really good at it!
- What did the tree say to the bully?… Leaf me alone!
- How do you know when a tree has had too much root beer?… He won’t stop texting his ax!
- What did the beaver say to the tree?It’s been nice gnawing you!
- Why do trees make the worst frenemies?… Because they are the best at throwing shade!
- What’s a tree’s favorite dating app?… Timber.
- Why did the tree need to take a nap?… For rest.
- Why was the weeping willow so sad?… It watched a sappy movie.
- Why do you never want to invite a tree to your party?… Because they never leaf when you want them to.
- What do you get when you cross a tabby cat with a lemon tree?… A sour puss.
- What was the tree’s favorite thing about Star Trek?… The Captain’s log.
- What’s another name for an artificial Christmas tree?… Faux fir.
- What do you call a military tree who doesn’t return on time?… Absent without leaf.
- What happens when a tree falls into mud?… It leafs an impression.
- What happens to maple trees on Valentine’s Day?… They get sappy.
- A snare drum and a crash symbol fell out of a tree.BA-DUM TSSSHH
- What did Betula pendula say to her super-annoying sister?… Leaf me alone, birch!
- What is every single tree’s least favorite month?… SepTIMMMBERRR!
- What must trees drink responsibly?… Root beer.
- What kind of trees do you get when you plant kisses?… Tulips.
- Why did the evil queen order her subjects to cut down all the trees in the kingdom?… She was jealous because every one of them had a bigger crown than her.
- Did you know that I can cut down a dead tree just by looking at it?… It’s true. I saw it with my own eyes.
- Did you hear the one about the oak tree?… It’s a corn-y one!
- Where do saplings go to learn?… Elementree school.
- Why do trees make great thieves?… Sticky fingers.
- Why can’t the lonely evergreen stop thinking about high school?… She’s still pining to be one of the poplar kids.
- Which side of a tree has the most leaves?… The outside.
- How do trees make themselves heard?… Amp-leaf-ication.
- What’s big, grey and falls from trees in Autumn?… Eleafant.
- Would you ever consider going on the almond tree diet?… No way, that’s just nuts!
- Which flowering plant is a champion equestrian?… The horse chestnut. (It totally conkers the competition.)
- What motorcycle brand do London plane trees ride through the forest?… Treeumph
- Did you hear about the elephant that got stuck up a tree last summer?… In order to get down, she had to sit on a branch and wait until fall.
- What happened to the wooden car with wooden wheels and a wooden engine?… It wooden go.
- What’s the same size and shape as a giant sequoia tree, yet weighs nothing?… A giant sequoia tree’s shadow.
- How do trees keep you in suspense?… I’ll tell you tomorrow.
- What type of fish falls from trees?… Jel-leaf-ish.
- How do bees travel to trees?… They take the buzz.
- What is a pine tree’s favorite radio station?… Anything that plays the poplar hits.
- How does a coniferous tree get ready for a date?… They spruce themselves up.
- What is green, has leaves, and a trunk?… A houseplant going on vacation.
- How do you know when a tree doesn’t know the answer to something?… It shrubs.
- How do trees contact one another?… By teleafone.
- What is the saddest tree?… The weeping willow.
- What do you get when you cross a tree with an artificial waterway?… A root canal.
- How many oranges grow on a tree?… All of them.
- What tree produces fruit that tastes like chicken?… Poultree.
- Why are leaves always involved in risky business?… Because they constantly have to go out on a limb.
- How did the idiot get hurt while raking leaves?… Fell out of the tree.
- Why do Platanus occidentalis have to see the doctor more than any other trees?… Because they are sycamore.
- Did you hear about the big corporation that’s making syrup from supposedly contaminated trees?… They maple their brand off the shelves.
- How do you get down from a tree?… You don’t. Down comes from a duck.
- Where can Adansonia trees go for a quick trim?… To the baobarber.
- Why were so many people sitting under the tree?… It was poplar.
- How do two rival forests get along?… They sign a peace tree-ty
- What looks like half a tree?… The other half.
- What did the teaching tree do when it went overseas?… It took a leaf of absence.
- Which side of a cherry tree has the most leaves?… The outside.
- What did the little tree say to the rude tree?… Leaf me alone.
- How old was the tiny tree?… Near-leaf five.
- What do you give to a thirsty tree?… Lemon-aid.
- Why didn’t the tree hunt?… It was against his beleafs.
- What is a tree’s favorite school subject?…Geometree.
- How did the elm tree know the fig tree wasn’t looking for anything serious?… It asked for no twigs attached.
- What is a pine tree’s favorite singer?… Spruce Springsteen.
- What did the tree say after he made an offer?… Take it or leaf it.
- Would you like to read a joke about tree-free paper?… The thing is, it’s tearable.
- What looks like half a spruce tree?… The other half.
- Why do trees hate tests?… Because they get stumped by the questions.
- What did the rock say when it rolled into the tree?… Nothing. Rocks don’t talk!
- What do you call nice trees without any teeth?… Sweetgums.
- Why couldn’t the fig tree get back in shape?… It couldn’t stick to a root-ine.
- What’s the best way to make a tree laugh?… Tell it acorn-y joke.
- How did the tree get lost?… It took the wrong root.
- What do vain trees do to get rid of wrinkles?Get a faceleaft.Why was the tree arrested?… For shopleafting.
- Why did the Chesnut tree feel left out?… It never got in on the oak.
- Why couldn’t the evergreen ever land a date?… It was so busy pining after unavailable trees that it never really branched out.
- Where do birch trees keep their valuables?… In a river bank.
- Why isn’t the squirrel hard at work collecting acorns at the oak tree?… She called in sick and went to the beech.
- What weighs more, a pound of leaves or a pound of logs?… Neither, they both weigh one pound.
- How did the apple tree get the job?… It had the right qua-leaf-ications.
- Which Canadian city is a favorite vacation spot for American trees?… Montreeal.
- What did the Jedi say to the sacred tree?… May the forest be with you.
- Why are Tree Huggers bad at playing cards?… They like to avoid the flush.
- Why did George Washington chop down the cherry tree with his hatchet?… Because his mom wouldn’t let him use the chainsaw. (Memorial Day Jokes)