Tree Jokes for Kids

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More Tree Jokes…

Dancing trees?… Now that’s ENT-ertainment. (Lord of the Rings Jokes)
Mother to son: I’m warning you. If you fall out of that tree and break both your legs, don’t come running to me! (Biology Jokes for Kids & Mother’s Day Jokes)
Why did the tree get in trouble at school?… For being knotty!
What did the pirate say when his wooden leg got stuck in the freezer?… Shiver me timbers! (Pirate Jokes)
What did the hurricane say to the palm tree?… Hang onto your leaves, this will be no ordinary breeze. (Hurricane Jokes)
While trying a new magic spell, the witch crossed a black cat and an oak tree… The result was a black and white cat-a-log’ue. (Cat Jokes / Witch Jokes / Tree Jokes)
My best friend says I can’t go skateboarding with a broken bone…. But I’m going out on a limb and do it anyway. (Skateboarding Jokes & Doctor Jokes)
Why didn’t the dendrochronologist get married?… He only ever dated trees. (Environment Jokes)
What is a tree’s favorite drink?… Root beer. (Camping Jokes for Kids)
How do trees get on the internet?… They log in. (Computer Jokes for Kids)
What did Obi Wan Kenobi say to the tree?… May the Forest be with you. (Star Wars Jokes for Kids)
Spring is here, and the trees are getting their foliage back… What a releaf! (Spring Jokes)
Did you hear the joke about the oak tree?… It’s acorny one!
What is a tree’s least favorite month?… Sep-timber! (Funny Jokes for Each Month)
What did one leaf say to another?… I’m falling for you. (Valentine’s Day Jokes & Fall Jokes)
If money really did grow on trees, what would be everyone’s favorite season?… Fall. (Tree Jokes)
What is a pirate’s favorite holiday?… AHRRRRR-bor Day! (Pirate Jokes for Kids)
Why did the Cat in the Hat run away from the tree?… It was afraid of the bark! (Cat Jokes & Tree Jokes)
Why did the boy climb up the tree with a hockey stick… Cause he wanted to join the maple leafs. (Hockey Jokes & Canada Day Jokes)
What kind of plant grows on your hand?… Palm tree.
What did the beaver say to the maple tree?… It’s been nice gnawing you. (Canada Day Jokes)
Did you hear the one about the redwood?… It’s tree-mendous!
What was General Washington’s favorite tree?… The infan-tree. (American Revolution Jokes & Arbor Day Jokes)
A lumberjack went into a magic forest to cut a tree. Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree. It shouted, “Wait! I’m a talking tree!” The lumberjack smiled, “and you will dialogue.” (Smile Jokes)
What’s the difference between weather and climate?… You can’t weather a tree, but you can climate.
What did the tree wear to the pool party?… Swimming trunks! (Summer Jokes for Kids & Swimming Jokes)
How do leaves get from place to place?… With autumn-mobiles. (Fall Jokes & Car Jokes)
What kind of tree does a math teacher climb?… Geometry. (Geometry Jokes & Arbor Day Jokes)
Would you ever try the acorn diet?… No way! It sounds nuts!
Why was the pine tree sent to its room?… Because it was being knotty!
If you’re in the woods, how can you tell if a tree is a dogwood?… By its bark. (Dog Jokes for Kids)
What band to trees listen to on the 4th of July?… Spruce Springsteen and the Tree Street Band. (Music Jokes & 4th of July Jokes)
Did you hear the joke about tree?… It’ll leaf you laughing! (Fall Jokes for Kids)
How can you identify a dogwood tree?… By its bark!
What’s a tree’s favorite radio station?… One that plays poplar songs!
Why do trees have so many friends?… They branch out. (Camping Jokes for Kids)
Do you want a brief explanation of an acorn?…In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.
What kind of plant grows on your hand?… Palm tree. (Tree Jokes & Biology Jokes)
What type of tree likes to give high fives?… A palm tree!
What did the little tree say to the big tree? — Leaf me alone!
Spring is here, and the trees are getting their foliage back… What a releaf. (Spring Jokes)
What happens to trees on Valentine’s Day?… They get sappy!
Which Canadian city is a tree’s favorite?… Montreeal!
If fruit comes from a fruit tree, where does turkey come from?… A poul-tree! (Arbor Day Jokes) (Turkey Jokes & Tree Jokes)
What do you call a tree that doubts autumn?… Disbe-leaf. (Fall Jokes for Kids)
Why did the leaf go to the doctor?… It was feeling green. (Earth Day & Doctor Jokes)
What falls in autumn?… Leaves! (Fall Jokes & Tree Jokes)
Winter can be pretty dreary with all the bare trees, so when spring comes it’s such a re-leaf. (Tree Jokes & Winter Jokes)
What song do trees HATE!… Timber by Pit Bull & Kesha. (Tree Jokes & Music Jokes)
What did a tree fighting with autumn say?… That’s it, I’m leaving. (Tree Jokes & Boxing Jokes)
What did the beaver say to the tree?… “It’s been nice gnawing you!” (Tree Jokes for Kids)
What did the tree say after a long winter?… What a re-leaf. (Winter Jokes)
What happens if the ground log sees its shadow?… We’ll have six more weeks of splinters! (Groundhog Day Jokes)
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe. (Labor Day Jokes)
Where does Avogadro plant his trees?… moles in the ground. (Mole Day Jokes)
What did the tree say to spring?… What a re-leaf. (Spring Jokes)
What emotion does a tree feel every spring?… Relief. (Spring Jokes)
Why did you give the tree some aspirin?… Because I heard it was a sycamore! (Doctor Jokes for Kids)
What did the beaver say to the tree?… “It’s been nice gnawing you!” (Tree Jokes for Kids)
What kind of tree is often found in the kitchen?… A pantry!
What is your favorite type of tree?… A pastry!
Why was the tree drooling?… It was a dogwood. (Dog Jokes for Kids)
Why did you plant a board and nails on Arbor Day?… I was trying to grow a tree house!
What do you call a whole day planting trees?… Arbore Day
What did Obi Wan Kenobi say to the tree?… May the Forest be with you. (Star Wars Jokes for Kids)
Did you hear about the tree that had to take time off of work in autumn?… It was on paid leaf. (Fall Jokes for Kids)
What did the tree say to autumn?… Leave me alone.(Fall Jokes for Kids)
Why are trees very forgiving?… Because in the Fall they “Let It Go” and in the Spring they “turn over a new leaf.” (Spring Jokes & Fall Jokes)
What do you call the world’s sleepiest tree?… Mesnoozelah!
Why do trees hate riddles?… Because it’s too easy to get stumped!
Why did the tree get stumped?… It couldn’t get to the root of the problem!
What did the tree do when the bank closed?… It opened its own branch!
Why do Christmas trees have trouble sewing?… They can’t stop dropping their needles!
What was wrong with the tree’s car?… It wooden go!
What’s a tree’s favorite subject in school?… Geometree!
Why are trees the best networkers?… They’re constantly branching out!
Why don’t you ever see hippos hiding in trees?… Because they’re really good at it!
What did the tree say to the bully?… Leaf me alone!
How do you know when a tree has had too much root beer?… He won’t stop texting his ax!
What did the beaver say to the tree?It’s been nice gnawing you!
Why do trees make the worst frenemies?… Because they are the best at throwing shade!
What’s a tree’s favorite dating app?… Timber.
Why did the tree need to take a nap?… For rest.
Why was the weeping willow so sad?… It watched a sappy movie.
Why do you never want to invite a tree to your party?… Because they never leaf when you want them to.
What do you get when you cross a tabby cat with a lemon tree?… A sour puss.
What was the tree’s favorite thing about Star Trek?… The Captain’s log.
What’s another name for an artificial Christmas tree?… Faux fir.
What do you call a military tree who doesn’t return on time?… Absent without leaf.
What happens when a tree falls into mud?… It leafs an impression.
What happens to maple trees on Valentine’s Day?… They get sappy.
A snare drum and a crash symbol fell out of a tree.BA-DUM TSSSHH
What did Betula pendula say to her super-annoying sister?… Leaf me alone, birch!
What is every single tree’s least favorite month?… SepTIMMMBERRR!
What must trees drink responsibly?… Root beer.
What kind of trees do you get when you plant kisses?… Tulips.
Why did the evil queen order her subjects to cut down all the trees in the kingdom?… She was jealous because every one of them had a bigger crown than her.
Did you know that I can cut down a dead tree just by looking at it?… It’s true. I saw it with my own eyes.
Did you hear the one about the oak tree?… It’s a corn-y one!
Where do saplings go to learn?… Elementree school.
Why do trees make great thieves?… Sticky fingers.
Why can’t the lonely evergreen stop thinking about high school?… She’s still pining to be one of the poplar kids.
Which side of a tree has the most leaves?… The outside.
How do trees make themselves heard?… Amp-leaf-ication.
What’s big, grey and falls from trees in Autumn?… Eleafant.
Would you ever consider going on the almond tree diet?… No way, that’s just nuts!
Which flowering plant is a champion equestrian?… The horse chestnut. (It totally conkers the competition.)
What motorcycle brand do London plane trees ride through the forest?… Treeumph
Did you hear about the elephant that got stuck up a tree last summer?… In order to get down, she had to sit on a branch and wait until fall.
What happened to the wooden car with wooden wheels and a wooden engine?… It wooden go.
What’s the same size and shape as a giant sequoia tree, yet weighs nothing?… A giant sequoia tree’s shadow.
How do trees keep you in suspense?… I’ll tell you tomorrow.
What type of fish falls from trees?… Jel-leaf-ish.
How do bees travel to trees?… They take the buzz.
What is a pine tree’s favorite radio station?… Anything that plays the poplar hits.
How does a coniferous tree get ready for a date?… They spruce themselves up.
What is green, has leaves, and a trunk?… A houseplant going on vacation.
How do you know when a tree doesn’t know the answer to something?… It shrubs.
How do trees contact one another?… By teleafone.
What is the saddest tree?… The weeping willow.
What do you get when you cross a tree with an artificial waterway?… A root canal.
How many oranges grow on a tree?… All of them.
What tree produces fruit that tastes like chicken?… Poultree.
Why are leaves always involved in risky business?… Because they constantly have to go out on a limb.
How did the idiot get hurt while raking leaves?… Fell out of the tree.
Why do Platanus occidentalis have to see the doctor more than any other trees?… Because they are sycamore.
Did you hear about the big corporation that’s making syrup from supposedly contaminated trees?… They maple their brand off the shelves.
How do you get down from a tree?… You don’t. Down comes from a duck.
Where can Adansonia trees go for a quick trim?… To the baobarber.
Why were so many people sitting under the tree?… It was poplar.
How do two rival forests get along?… They sign a peace tree-ty
What looks like half a tree?… The other half.
What did the teaching tree do when it went overseas?… It took a leaf of absence.
Which side of a cherry tree has the most leaves?… The outside.
What did the little tree say to the rude tree?… Leaf me alone.
How old was the tiny tree?… Near-leaf five.
What do you give to a thirsty tree?… Lemon-aid.
Why didn’t the tree hunt?… It was against his beleafs.
What is a tree’s favorite school subject?…Geometree.
How did the elm tree know the fig tree wasn’t looking for anything serious?… It asked for no twigs attached.
What is a pine tree’s favorite singer?… Spruce Springsteen.
What did the tree say after he made an offer?… Take it or leaf it.
Would you like to read a joke about tree-free paper?… The thing is, it’s tearable.
What looks like half a spruce tree?… The other half.
Why do trees hate tests?… Because they get stumped by the questions.
What did the rock say when it rolled into the tree?… Nothing. Rocks don’t talk!
What do you call nice trees without any teeth?… Sweetgums.
Why couldn’t the fig tree get back in shape?… It couldn’t stick to a root-ine.
What’s the best way to make a tree laugh?… Tell it acorn-y joke.
How did the tree get lost?… It took the wrong root.
What do vain trees do to get rid of wrinkles?Get a faceleaft.Why was the tree arrested?… For shopleafting.
Why did the Chesnut tree feel left out?… It never got in on the oak.
Why couldn’t the evergreen ever land a date?… It was so busy pining after unavailable trees that it never really branched out.
Where do birch trees keep their valuables?… In a river bank.
Why isn’t the squirrel hard at work collecting acorns at the oak tree?… She called in sick and went to the beech.
What weighs more, a pound of leaves or a pound of logs?… Neither, they both weigh one pound.
How did the apple tree get the job?… It had the right qua-leaf-ications.
Which Canadian city is a favorite vacation spot for American trees?… Montreeal.
What did the Jedi say to the sacred tree?… May the forest be with you.
Why are Tree Huggers bad at playing cards?… They like to avoid the flush.
Why did George Washington chop down the cherry tree with his hatchet?… Because his mom wouldn’t let him use the chainsaw. (Memorial Day Jokes)

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