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NASCAR JOKES

  1. How did the Grinch get home from the Christmas party?… He took a Who-ber. (Grinch Jokes)
  2. Did you hear about the corn that got run over by a car?… It was creamed corn. (Corn Jokes)
  3. I got gas today for $1.39… Unfortunately, it was at Taco Bell. (Taco Jokes)
  4. I really hate having to wait till September to drive my new car… Shouldn’t have bought an autumnobile. (Fall Jokes & September Jokes)
  5. Where do peanut drivers go to fill their tanks?…  The Shell station! (Peanut Jokes)
  6. What was the elephant doing on the freeway?… About 5 M.P. H. (Elephant Jokes)
  7. On the day I received my learner’s permit, my father agreed to take me out for a driving lesson. With a big grin, he hopped in behind the driver’s seat. “Why aren’t you sitting up front on the passenger’s side?” I asked. “Honey, I’ve been waiting for this ever since you were a little girl,” Dad replied. “Now it’s my turn to sit back here and kick the seat.” (Father’s Day Jokes)
  8. Today, on my way to work, I hit a guy riding a skateboard… On a lighter note, I’m selling a lightly used skateboard. (Skateboarding Jokes)
  9. What do you get when two giraffes collide?… A giraffic jam. (Giraffe Jokes)
  10. Why did the ice cream truck break down?… Because of the Rocky Road. (Ice Cream Jokes)
  11. “I had a dream about a muffler last night … I woke up exhausted!” Dad (Father’s Day Jokes)
  12. What do you get if you walk behind a car?… Exhausted! (Walking Jokes)
  13. I don’t have a Carbon Footprint… Because I drive everywhere! (Environment Jokes)
  14. I got hit by a car on my way to my high school graduation… The worst part is, I had the right of passage. (High School Graduation Jokes)
  15. What kind of vehicle did Watto drive?… A wattomobile. (May the 4th Be With You Jokes)
  16. How many NCAA Final Four basketball players does it take to change a light bulb?… Only one. But he gets money, a car, and three credit hours for it. (Final Four Jokes)
  17. Yesterday I was walking, and I was wondering why everyone always told me to look both ways before crossing a street… And then it hit me. (Walking Jokes)
  18. Why did the pencil get a speeding ticket?… He had a lead foot! (Pencil Jokes)
  19. What is a lacrosse players favorite type of car?… A dodge! (Lacrosse Jokes)
  20. Why was the car not allowed to play rugby?… It only had one boot. (Rugby Jokes)
  21. What is a the Cat in the Hat’s favorite brand of car?… The Catillac. (Cat Jokes & Dr. Seuss Jokes)
  22. Man: “Honey, on this Valentine’s Day, I want to tell you something… I’m not rich like Jack. I don’t have a mansion like Russell. I don’t have a Porsche like Martin. But I do love you and I want to marry you.” Woman: “Oh, dear, I love you too! What was that you said about Martin? (Funny Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  23. Where do race cars go swimming?…  In a car pool. (Swimming Jokes)
  24. It’s getting real bad here in California. I just got robbed at the gas station. I called the cops and they asked if I knew who did it. “It was pump #5,” I replied. (Police Jokes)
  25. How do leaves get from place to place?… With autumn-mobiles. (Fall Jokes & Tree Jokes)
  26. Why did Spider-Man borrow his parent’s car?… To take it out for a spin. (Spiderman Jokes for Kids)
  27. Pi had its driver’s license revoked because it didn’t know when to stop. (101 Pi Day Jokes)
  28. Why shouldn’t people from Texas be allowed to drive?… Because they’re always Texan and driving. (Texas Jokes)
  29. I got hit by a car on my way to my graduation… The worst part is, I had the right of passage. (Graduation Jokes)
  30. What do you tell a hitchhiker on Leap Day?… Hop In. (Leap Year Jokes)
  31. Who does Santa call when his sleigh breaks down?… The Abominable Towman. (Car Jokes)
  32. What kind of keys do kids like to carry?… Chocolate Chip Cookies! (Chocolate Chip Cookie Jokes)
  33. How do you lift a frozen car?… With a Jack Frost. (Christmas Jokes)
  34. Why did the middle school student stare at the automobile’s radio?…. He wanted to watch a car-tune. (Middle School Jokes)
  35. If you want to avoid traffic this Memorial Day then avoid traveling on memorial day weekend.
  36. I’ve got the deal already worked out – this Black Friday, I’m getting a new Lexus for my wife I think she’s going to be really surprised – but from my perspective, it’s an awesome trade. (Black Friday Jokes)
  37. Why aren’t hot dog ads allowed in NASCAR?… because no-one else would be able to ketchup. (Hot Dog Jokes & NASCAR Jokes)
  38. Patient to nurse, “I feel run down.” Nurse, “ What makes you say that?” Patient, “The tire marks across my legs. (Nurse Jokes)
  39. Why did the physicist throw the stop sign into the ocean?… He was studying sign waves. (Ocean Jokes & Physics Jokes)
  40. What type of cars do elves drive?… Toy-otas. (Car Jokes & Elf Jokes)
  41. What do you call a groundhog that drives recklessly?… A road hog. (Groundhog Day Jokes)
  42. You might be an Alaskan if… You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car. (Alaska Jokes)
  43. You might be an Alaskan if… You have more miles on your snow blower than your car. (Alaska Jokes)
  44. If you want to avoid traffic this Memorial Day then avoid traveling on memorial day weekend. (Memorial Day Jokes)
  45. A woman locked her car key in her car, so she asked a passerby for help. The passerby took off his pants, rolled it into a ball and rubbed it on the car door. The car door springs open. Amazed, the woman asked the passerby how did he do it, to which he replied:”It’s simple, these are khaki pants” (Car Jokes)
  46. Before I get into Spring Break traffic, I cover my car in Mucinex…It really thins out the congestion. (Car Jokes)
  47. Why was the giraffe late?… Because he got caught in a giraffic jam!