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- What do you get if you walk behind a car?… Exhausted! (Walking Jokes)
- How many NCAA Final Four basketball players does it take to change a light bulb?… Only one. But he gets money, a car, and three credit hours for it. (Final Four Jokes)
- Yesterday I was walking, and I was wondering why everyone always told me to look both ways before crossing a street… And then it hit me. (Walking Jokes)
- Why did the pencil get a speeding ticket?… He had a lead foot! (Pencil Jokes)
- What is a lacrosse players favorite type of car?… A dodge! (Lacrosse Jokes)
- Why was the car not allowed to play rugby?… It only had one boot. (Rugby Jokes)
- What is a the Cat in the Hat’s favorite brand of car?… The Catillac. (Cat Jokes & Dr. Seuss Jokes)
- Man: “Honey, on this Valentine’s Day, I want to tell you something… I’m not rich like Jack. I don’t have a mansion like Russell. I don’t have a Porsche like Martin. But I do love you and I want to marry you.” Woman: “Oh, dear, I love you too! What was that you said about Martin? (Funny Valentine’s Day Jokes)
- Where do race cars go swimming?… In a car pool. (Swimming Jokes)
- It’s getting real bad here in California. I just got robbed at the gas station. I called the cops and they asked if I knew who did it. “It was pump #5,” I replied. (Police Jokes)
- How do leaves get from place to place?… With autumn-mobiles. (Fall Jokes & Tree Jokes)
- Why did Spider-Man borrow his parent’s car?… To take it out for a spin. (Spiderman Jokes for Kids)
- Pi had its driver’s license revoked because it didn’t know when to stop. (101 Pi Day Jokes)
- Why shouldn’t people from Texas be allowed to drive?… Because they’re always Texan and driving. (Texas Jokes)
- I got hit by a car on my way to my graduation… The worst part is, I had the right of passage. (Graduation Jokes)
- What do you tell a hitchhiker on Leap Day?… Hop In. (Leap Year Jokes)
- Who does Santa call when his sleigh breaks down?… The Abominable Towman. (Car Jokes)
- What kind of keys do kids like to carry?… Chocolate Chip Cookies! (Chocolate Chip Cookie Jokes)
- How do you lift a frozen car?… With a Jack Frost. (Christmas Jokes)
- Why did the middle school student stare at the automobile’s radio?…. He wanted to watch a car-tune. (Middle School Jokes)
- If you want to avoid traffic this Memorial Day then avoid traveling on memorial day weekend.
- I’ve got the deal already worked out – this Black Friday, I’m getting a new Lexus for my wife I think she’s going to be really surprised – but from my perspective, it’s an awesome trade. (Black Friday Jokes)
- Why aren’t hot dog ads allowed in NASCAR?… because no-one else would be able to ketchup. (Hot Dog Jokes & NASCAR Jokes)
- Patient to nurse, “I feel run down.” Nurse, “ What makes you say that?” Patient, “The tire marks across my legs. (Nurse Jokes)
- Why did the physicist throw the stop sign into the ocean?… He was studying sign waves. (Ocean Jokes & Physics Jokes)
- What type of cars do elves drive?… Toy-otas. (Car Jokes & Elf Jokes)
- What do you call a groundhog that drives recklessly?… A road hog. (Groundhog Day Jokes)
- You might be an Alaskan if… You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car. (Alaska Jokes)
- You might be an Alaskan if… You have more miles on your snow blower than your car. (Alaska Jokes)
- If you want to avoid traffic this Memorial Day then avoid traveling on memorial day weekend. (Memorial Day Jokes)
- A woman locked her car key in her car, so she asked a passerby for help. The passerby took off his pants, rolled it into a ball and rubbed it on the car door. The car door springs open. Amazed, the woman asked the passerby how did he do it, to which he replied:”It’s simple, these are khaki pants” (Car Jokes)
- Before I get into Spring Break traffic, I cover my car in Mucinex…It really thins out the congestion. (Car Jokes)