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Social Studies Jokes

  1. The Sergeant-Major growled at the young soldier: “I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning.” “Thank you very much, sir.”
  2. I asked my veteran friend what the first ranking is in the military, but I couldn’t get a straight answer… He just kept telling me it’s private.
  3. Did you hear about the popcorn that joined the army?… They made him a kernel. (Popcorn Jokes)
  4. During training exercises, the Lieutenant who was driving down a muddy back road encountered another car stuck in the mud with a red-faced Colonel at the wheel. “Your car stuck, sir?” asked the Lieutenant as he pulled alongside. “Nope,” replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys. “Yours is.”
  5. Why do WWI veterans dislike golf?… They always end up in the bunker. (Golf jokes)
  6. A Sergeant was addressing a squad of 25 and said: “I have a nice easy job for the laziest man here. “Put up your hand if you are the laziest.” When 24 men raised their hands, the Sergeant asked the other man: “Why didn’t you raise your hand?” The man replied: “Too much trouble raising the hand, Sarge.”
  7. A Drill Sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said: “I guess when I die you’ll come and dance on my grave.” The cadet replied: “Not me, Sarge…no sir! “I promised myself that when I got out of the Army I’d never stand in another line.”
  8. At one Army base, the annual trip to the rifle range had been cancelled for the second year in a row, but the semi-annual physical fitness test was still on as planned. One soldier mused: “Does it bother anyone else that the Army doesn’t seem to care how well we can shoot, but they are extremely interested in how fast we can run?” (Track Jokes)
  9. Did you hear about the guy who put little G.I. Joe soldiers at the bottom of his coffee cup?… He’d heard that the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup! (Coffee Jokes)
  10. What was General Washington’s favorite tree?…The infan-tree! (4th of July Jokes & Arbor Day Jokes)
  11. I asked my veteran grandfather what’s the most disrespectful question that you can ask a vet?… “Why didn’t you become a real doctor?” (Grandparent Day Jokes)
  12. Where did the General put his armies?… In his sleevies. (get it his sleeves)?
  13. How do you clear out a veterans bingo hall?… B 52. (Pilot Jokes / Plane Jokes / Music Jokes)
  14. The Chief of Staff of the US Air Force decided to personally recruit some pilots and he saw two young twins. He looked at the first young man and asked: “Son, what skills can you bring to the Air Force?” The young man looks at him and says: “I’m a pilot!” The General gets all excited, turns to his aide and says: “Get him in today, all the paper work done, everything, do it!” The aide hustles the young man off. The General looks at the second young man and asks: “What skills to you bring to the Air Force?” The young man says: “I chop wood!” Read More: Ten Of The Silliest Names For Regiments “Son,” the general replies: “We don’t need wood choppers in the Air Force, what do you know how to do?” “I chop wood!” “Young man,” huffs the general, “You are not listening to me, we don’t need wood choppers, this is the 20th century!” “Well,” the young man says, “You hired my brother!” “Of course we did,” says the general, “He’s a pilot!” The young man rolls his eyes and says: “So what! I have to chop it before he can pile it!” (Pilot Jokes & Plane Jokes)
  15. What did the commander say to his troops?… March 4th! (March Jokes & Veterans’ Day Jokes)
  16. A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police. What type of veteran is he?… A seasoned veteran.
  17. What did the army captain say to his hockey team?… Forwards… skate! (Memorial Day Jokes & Hockey Jokes)
  18. Teacher “More than 200 years ago, our forefathers defeated the British in the Revolutionary War.”… Student: “Wow! They must have been pretty strong, four men defeating a whole army!” (4th of July Jokes)
  19. An octopus went off to war… It’s a good thing that he was well-armed. (Memorial Day Jokes & Octopus Jokes)
  20. My Grandpa who is a veteran had a heart of a lion… Which is why he is banned from every zoo. (Lion Jokes)
  21. My high school assignment was to ask a veteran about World War II…Since my grandfather had served during the war, I chose him. After a few basic questions, I very gingerly asked, “Did you ever kill anyone?”He got quiet. Then, in a soft voice, he said, “Probably. I was the cook.” (Grandparent Jokes / High School Jokes / Middle School Jokes)
  22. Why did the German soldier help the wounded puppy?… Because he was a veteran Aryan! (Dog Jokes)
  23. The company commander and the sergeant were in the field. As they go to bed for the night, the first sergeant said: “Sir, look up into the sky and tell me what you see?” The commander said: “I see millions of stars.” Sgt: “And what does that tell you, sir?” “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, Top?” Sgt: “Well sir, it tells me that somebody stole our tent.” (Napping Jokes)
  24. A famous Admiral and an equally famous General were fishing together when a sudden storm hit. When it died down both renowned warriors were struggling helplessly in the water. The Admiral floundered his way back to the boat and pulled himself painfully in. Then he fished out the General, using an oar. Catching his breath, he puffed: “Please don’t say a word about this to anyone. If the Navy found out I can’t swim I’d be disgraced.” “Don’t worry,” the general said. “Your secret is safe. I’d hate to have my men find out I can’t walk on water.” (Fishing Jokes)
  25. Why wouldn’t the dog attend the Veterans Day Parade?… There were too many vets. (Dog Jokes)
  26. Why do volleyball player want to join the armed forces?… For the chance to gain some experience in the service. (Volleyball Jokes)
  27. A recruiter asks an octopus if he wants to join the Army… The octopus says no thanks I’m army enough as it is. (Memorial Day Jokes & Octopus Jokes)
  28. A Great American Book Never Written: “The Parts of the National Anthem” by Homer D. Brave. (Flag Day Jokes)
  29. Best War of 1812 Book Never Written:… “The Star- Spangled Banner” by Jose Kanusee. (Flag Day Jokes)
  30. Teacher: Johnny, what are the last words of “The Star-Spangled Banner”?… Student: “Play ball”? (Flag Day Jokes)
  31. What did one American flag say to the other flag?… Nothing. It just waved! (Flag Day Jokes)
  32. Did you hear about the tree who deserted the forest at the end of fall… He was absent without leaves! (Fall Jokes)
  33. What did King George think of the American colonists?… He thought they were revolting! (4th of July Jokes)
  34. What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?… The Americans licked the British. (4th of July Jokes & Mailman Jokes)
  35. What was the craziest battle of the Revolutionary War?… The Battle of Bonkers Hill. (4th of July Jokes)
  36. What did the colonists wear to the Boston Tea Party?… Tea-shirts. (4th of July Jokes & Tea Jokes)
  37. What was the Patriots’ favorite food in the Revolutionary War?…Chicken Catch-a-Tory! (4th of July Jokes & Chicken Jokes)
  38. What’s red, white and blue?…Our flag, of course. And a sad candy cane! (4th of July Jokes & Christmas Jokes)
  39. Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington?… Because the horse was too heavy to carry! (4th of July Jokes)
  40. Where did General Washington put his armies?… In his sleevies! (Memorial Day Jokes & American Revolutionary War Jokes)
  41. What do you call a veteran who sleeps in a bathroom stall?… A loo-tenant. (Napping Jokes)
  42. Why did the waiter get a veterans discount… Because he SERVED our country.
  43. Went to a game with my dad today and as we were standing up to sing, the veteran in him kicked in and he began tearing up. I said to him, “You know, technically, national anthems are just…””…country music.” (Music Jokes)
  44. When I grow up I want to be a veterinarian then go into the army, and become a veteran so I can become…A Vet Vet.
  45. How do cannibals prefer veterans?… Seasoned.
  46. What does an American WWII veteran say when you ask him if he wants some tea?… Sherman tanks! (Tea Jokes)
  47. A veteran’s son asks him “Dad, did you get shot in the army?” The dad replies, “Nope! But I got shot in the leggy.”
  48. I became a chef after I left the army… Some would say I am a seasoned veteran. (Labor Day Jokes)