Navy Jokes

by | May 25, 2021 | Education, Latest News, School Jokes

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  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Navy jokes.
  2. A captain notices a light in the distance, on a collision course with his ship. He turns on his signal lamp and sends, “Change your course, 10 degrees west.” The light signals back, “Change yours, 10 degrees east.” The captain gets a little annoyed. He signals, “I’m a US Navy captain. You must change your course, sir.” The light signals back, “I’m a Seaman First Class. You must change your course, sir.” Now the captain is mad. He signals, “I’m an aircraft carrier. I’m not changing my course.” The light signals back a final message: “I’m a lighthouse. Your call.”
  3. Navy jet pilot: This is it! We’re flying faster than the speed of sound! Copilot: What? (Pilot Jokes & Plane Jokes)
  4. When I lost my rifle, the army charged me $255.99. That’s why in the navy, the captain goes down with the ship. (Army Jokes)
  5. Why do they actually prefer non-swimmers in the Navy?… They defend their ship with a lot more enthusiasm. (Swimming Jokes)
  6. 3.14% of Sailors are Pi Rates. (Pi Jokes)
  7. What grades do you need to join the Navy?… 7 C’s. (Jokes for Teachers)
  8. A lot of people assume pirates prefer to be in the navy…. But actually they prefer the arrrrrrrrmy. (Army Jokes & Pirate Jokes)
  9. What is the only question on the entrance exam to the U.S. Navy?… “Oh say, can you sea?” (Flag Jokes)
  10. My grandfather is always saying that in the old days people could leave their back doors open… Which is probably why his submarine sank. (Grandparent Jokes)
  11. The Navy is beginning to recruit blind men… They are sending them out to sea.
  12. Why did the sailor join the gym?… To get shipshape!
  13. What’s a sailor’s favorite type of sandwich?… A sub-marine! (Sandwich Jokes)
  14. What’s a sailor’s favorite board game?… Battleship.
  15. Why did the sailor go to school?… To improve his sea-minus to a sea-plus! (Ocean Jokes)
  16. What’s a sailor’s favorite type of movie?… A sea-quel! (Ocean Jokes & Movie Jokes)
  17. What did the Navy say to the coast guards?… “I’ll SEAL you later.” (Seal Jokes & Coast Guard Jokes)
  18. Why don’t naval shipyards have to pay taxes?… Because they are places of warship.
  19. I’m going to join the navy purely out of spite… I’m longing to become a Petty Officer.
  20. What did the Barbie factory do when it ran out of belly buttons?… They called the the navel reserve. (Barbie Jokes)
  21. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me the highest rank in the Navy? (Canoe Jokes)
  22. My grandfather was a baker in the Navy… He went in all buns glazing. (Grandparent Jokes)
  23. I became a chef after I left the navy… Some would say I am a seasoned veteran. (Labor Day Jokes & Veterans Day Jokes)
  24. What did the sailor say to the other when they had a problem?… We are in the same boat. (Psychology Jokes)
  25. Army soldiers can’t comprehend the 6-foot social distancing requirement… But everyone in the Navy can fathom it. (Army Jokes & Covid Jokes)
  26. Which breed of dog is most common in the Navy?… The aircraft terrier. (Dog Jokes)
  27. What do you call a military tree who doesn’t return on time?… Absent without leaf. (Tree Jokes)
  28. Why was the Navy movie not permitted to be played in theaters?… Due to censor-ship. (Movie Jokes)
  29. Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gusta join the Navy. (August Knock Knock Jokes)
  30. Did you know you can’t eat ice cream in the military?… Apparently you get arrested for desserting. (Ice Cream Jokes)
  31. Navy recruiter: “Do you know how to swim?” Recruit: “Why? Have you run out of ships?” (Swimming Jokes)
  32. Why did the soldier stuff himself with ice cream?… He was a desserter. (Ice Cream Jokes)
  33. An ice cream, a creme brulee, and a slice of cheesecake joined the army, but they abandoned their fellow soldiers on their first deployment They are wanted for dessertion. (Ice Cream Jokes)
  34. Why is there no Jedi navy?… Sailing is a path to the dockside. (Star Wars Jokes)
  35. Have you heard about the karate champion who joined the Navy?… The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself! (Veterans Day Jokes & Karate Jokes)
  36. If Harrison Ford’s son were in the Navy, what would be his favorite city?… Indy-Annapolis. (Movie Jokes & Indiana Jokes)
  37. I wanted to join the Navy… But that ship has sailed… I’ll sea myself out. (Labor Day Jokes)
  38. A cool job that sounds lame: Building boats for the navy… You’d be a subcontractor. (Labor Day Jokes)
  39. What does a Navy captain do during a Leap Year?… Jump ship. (Leap Year Jokes)
  40. Why is the depression rate so high for US sailors?… Because they have the Navy blues. (Psychology Jokes)
  41. The US Navy will start to equip all their subs with emotional support dogs. After a lot study, they decided on Dachshunds… They will be subma-weiners. (Dog Jokes & Psychology Jokes)
  42. Dad: You wanna join the Navy? You can’t even swim! Son: no one can fly in the Air Force either. (Dad Jokes)
  43. What do you get when you cross a sheep, a warship, and a father?… A fleece navy dad. (Dad Jokes & Christmas Jokes)
  44. How does a Navy Captain convince his sailors to stop going the bathroom off the back of the boat?… He gives them a stern talking to.
  45. What do you call a dog who joins the Navy?… A subwoofer. (Dog Jokes & 365 Music Jokes)
  46. Did you hear about the Super Bowl player who asked his coach to flood the field so he could go in as a sub? (Veteran’s Day Jokes & Memorial Day Jokes)
  47. What color are military submarines?… Deep navy. (Crayon Jokes)
  48. I’m about to lose my job in the Navy unless I make some drastic changes… I have to take a course in anchor management. (Labor Day Jokes & Psychology Jokes)
  49. I’ve never understood the Navy’s color being Navy blue… I thought they were the aqua-marines. (Crayon Jokes)
  50. What so you call a snail on a Navy ship?… a Snailer.
  51. Why did the Navy send a submarine to art school?… They wanted it to learn how to draw a-buoys.
  52. How does a Navy captain like to start a race?… Ready, set, navy-gate!
  53. Why did the sailor bring a ladder to the beach?… He wanted to climb aboard the sand-bar.
  54. What do you call a worried sailor?… A nervous wreck!
  55. What do you call a Navy cook who’s also a magician?… A soupernatural!
  56. Why did the ship refuse to wear a cologne?… It didn’t want to be too fragrant.
  57. Why did the Navy officer use the stairs instead of the elevator?… He didn’t want to escalate the situation.
  58. What type of jacket does a Navy officer wear?… A coat of arms!
  59. What’s a sailor’s favorite type of music?… R and B, which stands for “Rum and Brandy”!
  60. How do submarines stay in shape?… They do a lot of deep sea-kale!
  61. Why did the navy ship go to school?… It wanted to learn how to make waves!
  62. How do navy ships communicate?… They just give each other a wave!
  63. How did the navy submarine propose to its partner?… “Let’s dive into marriage!”
  64. What did the ocean say to the navy ship?… Nothing, it just waved.
  65. Why did the navy officer wear 3D glasses to work?… He wanted to “sea” the depth of the situation!
  66. What do you call a group of navy sailors singing together?… A sea-shanty choir!
  67. Why did the navy sailor start a fruit stand on the ship?… He wanted to sell naval oranges!
  68. How does a navy submarine call its friends?… Through its shell phone!
  69. What did the ocean say to the navy ship when it passed by?… “Long time, no sea!”
  70. My Granddad fought in the war and survived mustard gas and pepper spray… He’s now classed as a seasoned veteran. (Grandparent Jokes)
  71. My neighbor is obsessed with Navy destroyers… He warships them.
  72. What’s a rubber gasket on an aircraft carrier called?… A navy seal. (Seal Jokes)
  73. Why does the Norway navy have barcodes on the side of their boats?… So when they come back to port they can… Scandinavian. (World Geography Jokes)
  74. I wanted to join the Navy Seals… But that ship has sailed… I’ll sea myself out. (Labor Day Jokes)
  75. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about the Navy?
  76. What do you call a Marine who joins the Navy?… A Sub-Marine. (Marine Jokes)
  77. What happens when you eat too many Navy beans?… You might end up with a dishonorable discharge.
  78. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Navy knock-knock joke?
  79. Where does the Navy rank amongst the armed forces?… Submarines. (Marine Jokes)
  80. I tried out for the Marines but fell just short of their requirements. So they put me in the Navy since I was a sub-marine. (Marine Jokes)
  81. My Papa was a World War 2 Navy veteran and he use to boast about how he saved 300+ sailors from dying from an excruciating death… He shot the cook. (Veterans Day Jokes)
  82. In the French Navy, it’s considered unlucky to have the number 5 in a ship’s name… Because all of the ships with that number in their name… cinq. (World Geography Jokes)
  83. When I was in the Navy, I was on the deck of a destroyer one day, and I saw the periscope of an enemy submarine surface nearby… So I whipped off my hat and dropped it over the periscope. (Hat Jokes)
  84. A small boy was staring at the names on the wall of an old church when the pastor noticed him. “What are you looking at?” asked the clergyman. “All those names. Who are they?” the boy asked. The pastor nodded, and said, “They are the reason we have Memorial Day. They are those who died in the service.” The little boy considered that, then asked quietly, “The 9 o’clock service or the 11 o’clock?” (Cemetery Jokes)
  85. Where do U.S. Olympic horses shop?… Old Neigh-vy! (Equestrian Jokes)
  86. Did you know Navy ships run on commercial batteries?… They run on 7 C’s.
  87. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me how to join the Navy?(Canoe Jokes) 
  88. What do you call a Navy Admiral who gambles, smokes, drinks, and does drugs?… A Vice Admiral.
  89. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me how much money I will make if I join the Navy?(Canoe Jokes) 
  90. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me the different ranks of the Navy? (Canoe Jokes) 
  91. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe retire from the Navy? (Canoe Jokes) 
  92. What kind of reptile do you bring on an expedition?… A navi-gator.
  93. What do they call cleaners in the Navy?… Scrubmarines.
  94. What do you call a group of musical sailors?… The anchor-estra!
  95. Each branch has a military ball (Navy Ball, Army Ball, etc.) And it warms my heart to know that one branch will be having “Space Balls” from here on out. (Dance Jokes & Astronomy Jokes)
  96. Who’s the head of the penguin navy?… Admiral Byrd! (Bird Jokes & Navy Jokes)
  97. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Navy knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  98. Why are there no knock knock jokes about America?… Because freedom rings! (Memorial Day Knock Knock Jokes)
  99. The Russian Navy has announced that it’s commissioning glass-bottom warships… so they can keep an eye on the Russian Air Force.
  100. What is a cow’s favorite holiday?… Moomorial day. (Cow Jokes)
  101. Why did the sailor join the navy?… Because he wanted to see the sea!
  102. Who won the zombie war?…Nobody, it was dead even. (Zombie Jokes)
  103. What did Galaga aliens and WW2 Navy officers have in common?… Both came in WAVES.
  104. What do you call a group of gravy boats on Thanksgiving?… A gravy Navy. (Thanksgiving Jokes)
  105. How do sailors communicate with one another?… They use their sea-phones!
  106. What’s a sailor’s favorite type of music?… Nautical notes!
  107. What do sailors use to style their hair?… Sea spray!
  108.  Why did the sailor favorite movie?… “Sea” biscuit!
  109. What’s a sailor’s favorite type of pasta?… Seashell-eroni!
  110. Why did the sailor become a gardener?… He wanted to “sea” some growth!
  111. What do you call a navy member who loves math?… An Admiralgebra enthusiast!
  112. What do you call a forgetful veteran sailor?… A sea-nile old salt.
  113. What do you call a navy ship with a sense of humor?… A pun-dit class vessel!
  114. Why do sailors make terrible DJs?… They always play the same sea shanties!
  115. Why did the navy recruit join the vegetable garden?… He wanted to be a navy bean!
  116. What do you call a military ship that’s great at knitting?… A frigate with fabulous stitches!
  117. What do you call a well-dressed sailor?… A natty nautical!
  118. Why is France’s navy one of the best in the world?… Because they have the power of french-ship.
  119. Why did the sailor join a dating app?… He was looking for his “sole-mate!”
  120. What was the dark blue sea lion mistaken for?… A Navy Seal.
  121. How do navy chefs cook their meals?… With a depth charge of flavor!
  122. What’s a sailor’s favorite dance move?… The anchor drop!
  123. Why did the sailor go to art school?… To master the art of knot-tying.
  124. What do you call a fashionable sailor?… A navy seal of approval.
  125.  Why did the sailor become a baker?… He wanted to make some “sea” biscuits!
  126. Why did the sailor break up with his girlfriend?… She was too nauti-cal for him!
  127. What do you call a sailor who plays the drums?… A maritime percussionist!
  128.  Why did the sailor go to therapy?… He had too many emotional “berths” to unload!
  129. What do you call a ship that tells jokes?… A comedi-boat!
  130. What do you call a navy ship full of cows?… A dairy frigate!
  131. Why are sailors such great comedians?… They know the secret to a good punchline is all in the “buoyancy!”
  132. What is a naval destroyer?… A hula hoop with a nail in it.
  133. What’s a naval captain’s least favorite door on his ship?…The commode door.
  134. How do navy personnel stay cool in the summer?… They have their own fleet of “FAN-tastic” ships!
  135. What does NAVY stand for?… Never Again Volunteer Yourself.
  136. Why do Navy SEALs fall backwards off of their boats?… Because if they fell forwards they’d still be on the boat!
  137. What button does the Naval admiral press to launch the submarine torpedo?… The belly button.
  138. ALL Branches
  139. Army Navy / Air Force / Marine / Space Force / Coast Guard soldiers can’t comprehend the 6-foot social distancing requirement… But everyone in the navy can fathom it. (Army Jokes)
  140. What did the Navy say to the Navy / Air Force / Marine / Space Force / Coast Guard?… “I’ll SEAL you later.” (Seal Jokes & Coast Guard Jokes)
  141. I became a chef after I left the Navy / Air Force / Marine / Space Force / Coast Guard.. Some would say I am a seasoned veteran. (Labor Day Jokes & Veterans Day Jokes)
  142. The navy / Coast Guard is beginning to recruit blind men… They are sending them out to sea.
  143. Have you heard about the karate champion who joined the Navy / Air Force / Marine / Space Force / Coast Guard?… The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself! (Veterans Day Jokes & Karate Jokes)
  144. A cool job that sounds lame: Building boats for the navy /Coast gaurd… You’d be a subcontractor. (Labor Day Jokes)
  145. Dad: You wanna join the navy? You can’t even swim! Son: no one can fly in the Air Force either. (Dad Jokes)
  146. I’m about to lose my job in the Navy Cost Guard unless I make some drastic changes… I have to take a course in anchor management. (Labor Day Jokes & Psychology Jokes)
  147. What happens when you eat too many Navy Navy / Air Force / Marine / Space Force / Coast Guard beans?… You might end up with a dishonorable discharge.
  148. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Navy knock-knock joke?
  149. Did you know Navy Coast Guard ships run on commercial batteries?… They run on 7 C’s.
  150. Each branch has a military ball (Navy Ball, Army Ball, etc.) And it warms my heart to know that one branch will be having “Space Balls” from here on out. (Dance Jokes & Astronomy Jokes)
  151. Who’s the head of the penguin nBird Jokes & Navy Jokes
  152. What did Galaga aliens and WW2 Navy Coast Guard officers have in common?… Both came in WAVES.