Hat Jokes

by | May 18, 2020 | Latest News, School Jokes | 0 comments

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More January Jokes…

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January 15th is Hat Day. Click here for an explanation!

  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best hat jokes.
  2. When I was in the Navy, I was on the deck of a destroyer one day, and I saw a the periscope of an enemy submarine surface nearby… So I whipped off my hat and dropped it over the periscope. (Navy Jokes) 
  3. What’s the difference between a psychologist and a magician?… A magician pulls rabbits out of hats, whereas a psychologist pulls habits out of rats. (Rabbit Jokes & Hat Jokes)
  4. I like to wear a canoe on my head like it’s a hat… Works best if it’s capsized. (Canoe Jokes)
  5. What do you call a skeleton in a fedora?… Indiana Bones. (Indiana Jones Jokes)
  6. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you buy me a hat for the Kentucky Derby? (Kentucky Derby Jokes)
  7. Harry Potter Pick-up line: The Sorting Hat saw my destiny, and it said I’m meant to be in your house.
  8. Today I learned that if you’re in a canoe and it flips over in the water…. …..you can safely wear it on your head….because it’s capsized. (Canoe Jokes)
  9. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you buy me a hat for my college graduation? (College Graduation Jokes)
  10. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you buy me a hat for my high school graduation? (High School Graduation Jokes)
  11. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you buy me a hat for my graduation? (Graduation Jokes)
  12. What do penguins wear on their heads?… Ice caps! (Penguin Jokes)
  13. On the snow day, what did the big furry hat say to the warm woolly scarf?… “You hang around while I go on ahead.” (Snow Day Jokes)
  14. What do you wear to show you care that it’s Dr. Seuss’ birthday on this early March winter day?… A hat! (Birthday Jokes & Dr. Seuss Jokes)
  15. I used to get into fights at the drop of a hat… Which is probably why I got fired from my job as a graduation photographer. (Labor Day Jokes & Graduation Jokes)
  16. Punxsutawney Phil came out and threw his hat in the air… That means six more weeks of Mary Tyler Moore Show reruns. (Ground Hog Day Jokes)
  17. Why are hat jokes the hardest to understand?… Because they always go right over your head!
  18. Never trust a man wearing a hat… They’re always trying to cover something up.
  19. What a weird day!… First I found a hat full of money… Then I was followed around by some guy with a guitar. (Music Jokes & Guitar Jokes)
  20. I just bought a new hat… with a built-in fan that keeps my head cool during hot weather. It really blows my mind. (Summer Jokes)
  21. Two hats are hanging on a hat rack…. One says to the other, “You stay here; I’ll go on a head.”
  22. What does a hockey player and a magician have in common?… Both do hat tricks! (Magic Jokes & Hockey Jokes)
  23. I just entered the town’s tightest hat competition… hope I can pull it off.
  24. Did you know you can make a hat out of any ship?… You just flip it over, that way it’s capsized!
  25. What time is it when a hippo sits on your hat?… Time for a new hat. (Black Friday Jokes)
  26. I went trick or treating as Gandhi and kept all of my candy in a hat. And when someone tried to take the candy from my hat I told them “My hat my candy” (Funny Halloween Jokes & Candy Jokes)
  27. What do you call a a pig wearing a witches hat in the Sahara?… A Ham Sand Witch. (Witch Jokes)
  28. Have you noticed that small men often wear pointy red hats? … it’s a little gnome fact.
  29. Two drums and a hi hat falls of a cliff. Ba dum tsss….
  30. What did the scarf say to the hat? You go on ahead.
  31. One good thing about graduation is that you get to wear a funny hat that makes your brain look larger than it actually is. (Graduation Jokes)
  32. What did the hat say to the tie?… “You hang around here…I’ll go on a head.”
  33. I saw an advertisement saying “Hairpieces from $5”. I thought, “That’s a small price toupee.”
  34. “I just bought a new hat”… “Fedora?”… “No, for me.”
  35. What did the bra say to the hat?… You go on ahead, I’ll give these two a lift!
  36. I’ve got my corduroy pants, my corduroy shirt, and my corduroy hat… One more piece of clothing and I’ll be one whole Roy!
  37. I’m not saying that my friend doesn’t think deeply, but usually the only thing on his mind is his hat.
  38. Who wears a cowboy hat, black leather jacket with studs, cowboy boots, a big silver belt buckle, and black lipstick?… Goth Brooks.
  39. Why are cowboy hats curled up on the side?… So they can fit three in the pickup.
  40. A baby born feet first has worn its mother as a hat….. Just sayin…
  41. Who wears the biggest hat in the army?… The one with the biggest head.
  42. A friend always wears a nun’s outfit and hat when he’s out. It’s just a habit that he has.
  43. Barbers. You have to take your hat off to them.
  44. What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?… Tyrannosaurus Tex.
  45. Spotted a chap playing tennis in a hat the other day. Think it was Roger Fedora. (Top Tennis Jokes)
  46. ‌‌I j‌‌ust d‌‌iscovered t‌‌hat t‌‌he w‌‌ord “‌‌nothing” i‌‌s a‌‌ p‌‌alindrome… Backwards i‌‌t s‌‌pells “‌‌gnihton”, w‌‌hich a‌‌lso m‌‌eans n‌‌othing.
  47. The p‌‌olice c‌‌alled t‌‌o t‌‌ell m‌‌e t‌‌hat m‌‌y w‌‌ife w‌‌as i‌‌n t‌‌he h‌‌ospital. “How i‌‌s s‌‌he?”, I‌‌ a‌‌sked. “Very c‌‌ritical,” r‌‌eplied t‌‌he o‌‌fficer. “The i‌‌s s‌‌he c‌‌omplaining a‌‌bout n‌‌ow?”
  48. Where does a pirate keep his buccaneers? Under his buccan hat.
  49. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you buy me a winter hat? (Egg Jokes & Canoe Jokes)
  50. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you buy me a baseball hat?
  51. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you buy me a hat?
  52. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you buy me a hat for the beach?
  53. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you buy me a hat for the Christmas?
  54. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you buy me a hat for my birthday?
  55. What 2024 March Madness fans need an XXL size hat?… More head State. (Hat Jokes)
  56. What did one sombrero say to the other?… You go on ahead.
  57. Don we now our gay sombreros! (Hat Jokes)