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  1. Teacher: Where did your mom graduate from college? Student: Alaska. Teacher: Never mind, I’ll ask her myself. (Mother’s Day Jokes / College Graduation Jokes / Alaska Jokes)
  2. Why didn’t the pirate make it to the dean’s list when he graduated?… All of his scores were in the C’s.
  3. Class of 2020: When my future children ask me about my college school graduation… And how I answer: “The graduation was great! But the reception was terrible.”
  4. What did my puppy receive after he graduated from college?… His pedigree. (College Graduation Jokes & Puppy Jokes)
  5. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Gladys… Gladys, who?… Gladys graduation day! (Graduation Knock Knock Jokes & Summer Jokes)
  6. My 10 year college reunion was this weekend… I ran into these twin brothers I hadn’t seen since graduation, and I thought to myself.. “Well, you two still look the same.”
  7. My college graduation was held inside the basketball arena and man was it hot…. It must have been like 5,000 degrees in there. (Basketball Jokes)
  8. Why are graduation ceremonies so warm?… There are thousands of degrees packed in there.
  9. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Gladys… Gladys, who?… Gladys graduation day!
  10. Graduation Party: Knock Knock. Who’s there?…Dishes….Dishes who?… Dishes the police, come out with your hands up!! (Police Jokes for Kids)
  11. College graduations are so immature… You can hardly get to the end without name calling.
  12. Graduation speeches were invented largely in the belief that college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated. (Psychology Jokes)
  13. At my college graduation I saw a bowl of fruit punch…So I told a bunch of my friends “I want to make a joke which requires some audience participation. “Then, I proceeded to instruct them to stand, single file, in front of the bowl. Once they had, I told them “Here’s the punch line.” (Watermelon Jokes)
  14. What did the college graduate ask when he entered his graduation ceremony?… Is it one degree hotter in here? (College Graduation Jokes)
  15. How many PhD candidates do you need to change a single light bulb?… You actually only need one, but it may take more than four years.
  16. What happened when they found out about the kidnapping at the college graduation?… They woke him up. (Napping Jokes)
  17. Graduation: Where you trade the agony of writing term papers for the agony of writing resumes.
  18. A college graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that ‘individuality’ is the key to success.
  19. One good thing about graduation is that you get to wear a funny hat that makes your brain look larger than it actually is. (Hat Jokes)
  20. It’s tough out there, but if you take your education and apply yourselves, you will eventually succeed in finding…..an unpaid internship!
  21. I used to get into fights at the drop of a hat… Which is probably why I got fired from my job as a graduation photographer. (Labor Day Jokes)
  22. Knock Knock… Who’s there!… B-4!… B-4 who?… B-4 you take the diploma, shake the dean’s hand. (Principal Jokes for Kids)
  23. What did the graduate say when his mom asked him why he didn’t pick up his phone at his graduation?… I couldn’t pick up because the reception was horrible.
  24. Why did one high school in the city stop organizing graduation ceremonies?… There was too much name-calling in it. (High School Jokes)
  25. I’d advise you graduates to keep your graduation gown… It’s the only outfit you might not outgrow.