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Google Search “Black Friday Jokes”

  1. What would Gandalf have said if The Lord of the Rings been in a supermarket instead of Middle-Earth?… One ring to rule the mall. (Lord of the Rings Jokes)
  2. What happens when Black Friday falls on Friday the 13th?… Prices get slashed! (Friday the 13th Jokes)
  3. What’s the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?… Beer Nuts are around a dollar seventy-nine, and deer nuts are just under a buck! (Hunting Jokes)
  4. Why don’t they have Father’s Day sales?… Because Fathers are priceless. (Father’s Day Jokes)
  5. What time is it when a hippo sits on your hat?… Time for a new hat. (Hat Jokes)
  6. A dog goes into a camping store and buys a tent. The cashier says, “You don’t see a dog in here buying a tent very often.” The dog says, “At these prices, I’m not surprised.” (Dog jokes for Kids & Camping Jokes)
  7. Amazing BLACK FRIDAY deal: Buy NOTHING and save up to 100% in EVERY STORE!
  8. Handed in an assignment late today, looks like my teacher is giving black Friday deals too… 50% off. (180 School Jokes & Teacher Jokes)
  9. Black Friday: Because only in America people trample others for sales exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have.
  10. It’s Black Friday and the mall is packed with shoppers. John has lost sight of his wife and can’t find her. He goes up to a very attractive woman and says, “Excuse me, can you help me? I cannot see my wife, and I know that she is here in the shopping mall somewhere. Can you just talk to me for a couple of minutes?” The attractive woman replies “Why?” John says, “Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife shows up out of thin air.”
  11. What happens when Black Friday falls on Friday the 13th?… Prices get slashed! (Friday the 13th Jokes)
  12. I’m going to spend a thousand dollars for a computer on Black Friday. It’s going to be grand. (Computer Jokes)
  13. So Black Friday at the Geology Museum was great! There were so many great shales! It really rocked.
  14. When is the best time for a pirate to buy a new ship?… On Black Friday, when it’s on sail. (Pirate Jokes)
  15. Why did Santa bring 22 reindeer to Walmart?… Because what he wanted to buy cost around 20 bucks, but just in case it was more, he brought some extra doe. (Reindeer Jokes)
  16. All this spending on Black Friday… Better make sure ya’ll pay the electric bill first or next Friday will be Black Friday too!
  17. What did Nala tell Simba after seeing a crowd of ladies on Black Friday?… You gotta Mufasa (move faster) (Top 10 Lion King Jokes)
  18. Black Friday: A day Americans are willing to kill over materialistic things just a day after celebrating what they’re already thankful for.
  19. Bought a new vacuum on Black Friday… It sucks!
  20. Black Friday = Broke Saturday.
  21. I’ve saved an absolute fortune this Black Friday… I stayed in.
  22. I’ve got the deal already worked out – this Black Friday, I’m getting a new Lexus for my wife I think she’s going to be really surprised – but from my perspective, it’s an awesome trade. (Car Jokes)
  23. A small business owner was upset when a brand new corporate chain much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read “BEST BLACK FRIDAY DEALS!” He was horrified when another competitor opened up on the other side of him and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading “LOWEST BLACK FRIDAY PRICES!” The small business owner panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop. It read “MAIN ENTRANCE.”
  24. The day after the Thanksgiving, what did the fridge say when it was asked, “Is everything alright over here?” “No, everything is all leftover here!”
  25. Thanksgiving Motto:”Leftovers are for quitters!” (Thanksgiving Jokes)
  26. Black Friday is a scam. You should be mad they overcharge you 364 days a year.
  27. What do you call an amazing Black Friday special that comes with free cake?… A sweet deal. (Cake Jokes)
  28. On Black Friday, where did George Washington buy his hatchet?… At the chopping mall. (Memorial Day Jokes)
  29. Where did Mrs. Avogadro do her shopping on Black Friday?… In a shopping mole. (Mole Day Jokes)
  30. I was too lazy to go out shopping today, so to make it feel like Black Friday, I punched a few family members while online shopping.
  31. Why do they call the day after Thanksgiving “Black Friday?”… It matches the mood of all those unhappy shoppers. (Thanksgiving Jokes)
  32. On Black Friday, just be decent and civilized… by holding the cell phone horizontal when recording any fights.
  33. Black Friday Family Tips: “Now remember what I taught you! Push, shove, grab, yell, and if needed tackle! Get out there and make Grandma proud!”
  34. The boat shop was having a huge discount on all their Galleons and Brigantines for Black Friday this year… It was the biggest sail event they’ve ever had.
  35. Why do shoppers feel like cranberry juice on Black Friday?… They get bruised and battered bloody by other people until they get squeezed at the cashier.
  36. How do you know Arnold Schwarzenegger is waiting in line with you on Black Friday?… He Jingles All The Way. (Christmas Jokes)
  37. It’s Black Friday, and I just got an iPhone 6 for my wife I thought it was a good trade.
  38. Every year on Black Friday I make sure I wake up extra early. To go on the internet to see all the fights.
  39. How is the Battle for Hogwarts like a Black Friday sale?… Weasley twins are 50% off. (Harry Potter Jokes)
  40. Why do people go clothes shopping on Black Friday?… To replace all the clothes they spilled Thanksgiving dinner on.
  41. Here’s hoping Black Friday won’t turn into Black and Blue Saturday.
  42. I actually enjoy Black Friday. It’s the one day I know exactly where all the nut jobs are and how to avoid them.
  43. Black Friday: The day people spend money they don’t have on things they don’t need.
  44. What do Black Friday shoppers and the Thanksgiving turkey have in common?… They know what it’s like to be jammed into a small place and stuffed! (Thanksgiving Jokes & Turkey Jokes)
  45. What’s the best part about Black Friday?… Resting on Saturday.
  46. Who profits the most on Black Friday?… The one who was smart enough not to go shopping on that day.
  47.  I’ll be celebrating Black Friday in my own way — by completely ignoring it.
  48. How can you tell which one of your friends got a good Black Friday deal?… Don’t worry they’ll let you know.
  49. Why do Americans go shopping on Black Friday?… They are thankful they survived Thanksgiving’s feast.
  50. What was the horse looking for on Black Friday?… A Macintosh. (Computer Jokes & Horse Jokes)
  51. What flies faster than items off the rack on Black Friday?… Credit card payment slips!
  52. Which family usually spends the most on Black Friday?… The one who earns the least.
  53. What animal flies faster than items off the rack on Black Friday?… Credit card payment vultures.
  54. What do people eat on Black Friday?… Whatever they couldn’t finish on Thanksgiving Thursday. (Thanksgiving Jokes)
  55. Today a man stole my wallet He took the 100 dollars I had with me and started counting the money. He gave me 50 dollars back. Confused, I asked why. He said: “Today’s Black Friday, so every stolen wallet has a 50% discount!”
  56. My version of Black Friday is deleting all the people in my phone who sent me a mass Thanksgiving text.
  57. Fantastic Black Friday deal alert: Buy nothing and save 100% in every store!
  58. Black Friday sale on Star Wars Battlefront 2… Save up to $2160 by not buying it.
  59. What do people eat on Black Friday?… Whatever they couldn’t finish on Thanksgiving Thursday.
  60. Probable Headline: “1000 Americans killed trying to get Twinkies on Black Friday.”
  61. Black Friday at the geology museum was great!… There were so many great shales!
  62. Today, I arrived at a local Black Friday sale at 7 AM and saw the riot police I had never seen the riot police arrive this early before, so o asked them why they came so early. One of them replied, “We arrived early, because we like to beat the crowd.”
  63. Did y’all hear about the guy who shot himself in Walmart in Black Friday?… They’re calling it a self-checkout.
  64. I think it’s only fair the week after Black Friday be called White Friday… And then with the remaining Fridays before the next Black Friday, you can have fifty shades of grey.