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Joke Pages of the Month:

Google Search “Dog Jokes”

  1. What’s more amazing than a talking dog?… A Spelling Bee. (Bee Jokes & 26 Kindergarten Lessons ABC)
  2. How do dog catchers get paid?… By the pound! (Labor Day Jokes)
  3. A policeman just knocked on my door and said my dogs were chasing people on bikes… My dogs don’t even own bikes. (Police Jokes & Bike Jokes)
  4. The most loyal, kind and noble of all dog breeds is the hot dog…He’s the only one who feeds the hand that bites him. (Hot Dog Jokes)
  5. What do get when you cross a chili pepper, steam shovel, and a Chihuahua?… A hot, diggety dog. (Hot Dog Jokes)
  6. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog’s duties. “They use him to keep crowds back,” said one child. “No,” said another. “He’s just for good luck.” A third child brought the argument to a close. “They use the dogs,” she said firmly, “to find the fire hydrants.” (Grandparent Jokes)
  7. What is the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?… One wags a tail and the other tags a whale. (Whale Jokes for Kids)
  8. First dog: Where do fleas go for summer vacation? Second dog: Search me! (Summer Jokes for Kids)
  9. What do chemists’ dogs do with their bones?… They barium! (Chemistry Jokes)
  10. What do you call a frozen dog?… A pupsicle! (Summer Jokes & Popsicle Jokes)
  11. Which breed of dog is the quietest?… A hush puppy!
  12. Why did the dog stay in the shade at summer camp?… It did not want to be a hot dog. (Summer Camp Jokes & Hot Dog Jokes)
  13. What’s Santa’s dog’s name?… Santa Paws! (Christmas Jokes)
  14. What kind of dog does a vampire have?…A bloodhound. (Halloween Jokes & Vampire Jokes)
  15. What happened when the puppy went to the flea circus?… He stole the show! (Puppy Jokes for Kids)
  16. A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog’s IQ. Here’s how it works: If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you. Jay Leno (Psychology Jokes)
  17. What do you call a cold dog?… A Chili Dog. (Hot Dog Jokes)
  18. What do you call a dog with a fever?… A hot dog. (Hot Dog Jokes & Doctor Jokes)
  19. What type of market should you NEVER take your dog?… A flea market!
  20. If you’re in the woods, how can you tell if a tree is a dogwood?… By its bark. (Tree Jokes for Kids)
  21. Two dog owners are arguing about whose pet is smarter. “My dog is so smart,” says the first owner, “that every morning he goes to the store and buys me a sesame seed bagel with chive cream cheese, stops off at Starbucks and picks me up a mocha latte, and then comes home and turns on ESPN, all before I get out of bed.” “I know,” says the second owner. “How do you know?” the first demands. “My dog told me.”
  22. What was the special offer at the pet store this week?… Buy 1 Dog get 1 Flea!
  23. What do you get when you cross a dog and an egg?… A pooched egg. (Egg Jokes)
  24. What happened to the dog that ate nothing but garlic?… His bark was much worse than it’s bite! (Farming Jokes)
  25. What protest by a group of dogs occurred in 1772?… The Boston Flea Party. (Massachusetts Jokes & American Revolution Jokes)
  26. How do fleas travel from place to place?… By itch-hiking! (Hiking Jokes)
  27. Why do dogs like conjunctions?… They just love buts. (Grammar Jokes)
  28. I dressed my dog up as a cat for Halloween. Now he won’t come when I call him. (Halloween Jokes)
  29. Why was the tree drooling?… It was a dogwood. (Arbor Day Jokes)
  30. What is a fighter’s favorite dog?…  A boxer. (Boxing Jokes for Kids)
  31. Why did the puppy cross the road?… To get to the “barking” lot! (Puppy Jokes for Kids)
  32. What is the puppy’s favorite city?… New Yorkie! (Top 50 State Jokes & New York Jokes)
  33. I’m a dog trainer. Before I met with a new client, I had her fill out a questionnaire. One question asked, “Why did you choose this breed?” My client responded, “I often ask myself this very same question.”
  34. Have you read the book Raising Dogs?… You should it’s a pup-up book. (Puppy Jokes for Kids & Book Jokes)
  35. Did you hear about the dog who couldn’t stop talking like a horse?… It was a dog and pony show. (Horse Jokes)
  36. Why are dogs like phones?… Because they have collar IDs.
  37. Why did the poor puppy chase his own tail?… He was trying to make both ends meet! (Puppy Jokes for Kids)
  38. What happens when it rains cats and dogs?… You have to been careful not to step in a poodle. (Rain Jokes & Cat Jokes)
  39. What do you call a dog with a surround sound system?… a Sub-woofer. (Music Jokes)
  40. What is a dog’s favorite pizza?… PUParonni! (Pizza Jokes for Kids)
  41. What do you call a dog standing on a Mars bar?… Rover! (Astronomy Jokes & Mars Jokes)
  42. What do you call a dog with a Rolex?… A watch dog. (Daylight Savings Jokes)
  43. What do you do if a dog chews your dictionary?… Take the words right out of his mouth! (Grammar Jokes)
  44. What did the dog say when it saw the firework go off?… Nothing, dogs can’t talk! (Fireworks Jokes)
  45. What do puppies and story tellers have in common?… They both have tails! (Puppy Jokes for Kids & Book Jokes)
  46. Why did the Dalmatian go to the eye doctor?… He kept seeing spots! (Doctor Jokes)
  47. What did the dog say to the tree?… Bark. (Tree Jokes)
  48. What kind of dog chases anything red?… A Bulldog.
  49. Why aren’t dogs good dancers?… Because they have two left feet. (Music Jokes)
  50. What would you get if you crossed a patriot with a small curly-haired dog?… Yankee Poodle. (American Revolutionary War Jokes & Bird Jokes)
  51. What is the only kind of dog you can eat?… A hot dog! (Hot Dog Jokes)
  52. I hide photos on my computer of me petting animals at the zoo in a file named Fireworks and vacuums so my dog won’t find them. (Fireworks Jokes & Computer Jokes)
  53. What do you get when your dog jumps into the fire pit?… A hot dog. (Hot Dog Jokes)
  54. What did the patriotic dog do on Flag Day?… He flagged his tail! (Flag Day Jokes for Kids)
  55. What do you call a great dog detective?… Sherlock Bones! (Police Jokes)
  56. A three-legged dog walks into a bar and says, ‘I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.’ (Father’s Day Jokes & Beer Jokes)
  57. Why do you need a license for a dog and not for a cat?… Cats can’t drive!
  58. How did the little Scottish dog react when he met the Loch Ness Monster?…: He was Terrier-fied!
  59. A dog walks into a job center. ‘Wow, a talking dog,’ says the clerk. ‘With your talent I’m sure we can find you a gig in the circus.’ ‘The circus?’ says the dog. ‘What does a circus want with a plumber?’
  60. Why was the dog stealing shingles?…He wanted to become a woofer!
  61. What do you call a dog with no legs?…It doesn’t matter, he still won’t come when you call.
  62. Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of the dog, it’s too dark to read. (Book Jokes)
  63. What’s the difference between a businessman and a hot dog?… The businessman wears a suit but the hot dog just pants. (Hot Dog Jokes)
  64. Two men are talking about animals. One says to the other, ‘I know of a dog worth $10,000.’ ‘Really?’ replies the other. ‘Who would have thought a dog could save so much.’
  65. What do you get if you cross a dog and a lion?… Well you won’t be getting any mail, that’s for sure. (Lion Jokes & Mailman Jokes)
  66. What do you get if you cross a Rottweiler and a hyena?… I don’t know but I recommend you join in if it laughs!
  67. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog?… Frostbite. (Snowman Jokes & Dog Jokes)
  68. What do you get if you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle and a rooster?… Cockerpoodledoo!
  69. What happened when the groundhog met the dogcatcher?… He became a pound hog. (Groundhog Day Jokes)
  70. What do you call a frozen frankfurter?… A Chili dog.
  71. A Dachshund walks into a telegraph office, picks up a blank form, and writes: “Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.” The clerk looks over the paper for a minute before telling the dog, “You know, there are only nine words here. You could add another ‘Woof’ for the same price.” The Dachshund shakes his head at the clerk in disbelief. “But that would make no sense at all.”
  72. Why was the cat scared of the tree?… Because of its bark. (Tree Jokes)
  73. What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?… A CAT-HAS-TROPHY! (Cat Jokes)
  74. What happens when a mole bites a dog?… He becomes Moleicious! (Mole Day Jokes)
  75. How fast did the Grinch’s sled go?… Max speed. (Dr. Seuss Jokes & Grinch Jokes)
  76. What do you call a dog on the beach in the Summer?… A hot dog! (Summer Jokes for Kids)
  77. What did the skeleton say to the puppy?… bonappetite. (Puppy Jokes for Kids)
  78. What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a meal?… That hit the spots!
  79. What do Alaskans sing when they get excited?… Who let the sled dogs out! (Alaska Jokes & Music Jokes)
  80. What do you call a large dog that meditates?… Aware wolf. (Top Psychology Jokes)
  81. What do you get when you cross a racing dog with a bumblebee?… A greyhound buzz! (Bee Jokes)
  82. What do you call a canine born on Cinco De Mayo?… Felix Naughty Dog. (Dog Jokes)
  83. What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?… A collie-flower! (Flower Jokes)
  84. Who is the puppy’s favorite comedian?… Growlcho Marx (Puppy Jokes for Kids)
  85. What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly?… It barked with de-light!
  86. What did the cowboy say when the bear ate Lassie?… “Well, doggone!” (Bear Jokes)
  87. What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?… A CAT-HAS-TROPHY! (Top Cat Jokes)
  88. What do you get if you cross a Beatle and an Australian dog?… Dingo Starr!
  89. What do you call a dog magician?… A labracadabrador.
  90. What do you get when you cross a dog and a calculator?… A friend you can count on. (101 Pi Day Jokes)
  91. What is a dogs favorite instrument?…  A trombone. (Music Jokes)
  92. What’s a dog’s ideal job?… Barkeology. (Top Archeology Jokes)
  93. What kind of dog likes taking a bath?…a shampoodle! (Barber jokes)
  94. What happens when a dog chases a cat into a geysur?…It starts raining cats and dogs. (Rain Jokes)
  95. What did the cat say to the dog?…Check meow-t! (Cat Jokes)
  96. What do you get if you cross a dog and a cheetah?… A dog that chases cars – and catches them! (Car Racing Jokes)
  97. What do you call a dog that licks an electrical socket?… Sparky.
  98. Where did the dog fall asleep?… In the barking lot.
  99. Why did the snowman name his dog “Frost”?… Because “Frost” bites! (Snowman Jokes)
  100. What time is it when ten dogs chase a cat?… Ten After One. (Daylight Savings Jokes)
  101. What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear?… A petticoat!
  102. Why can’t dogs work the DVD remote?… Because they always it the Paws button! (Movie Jokes)
  103. What did the dog say to the sandpaper?… Ruff.
  104. What is a dogs favorite flower?… Anything in your garden! (Flower Jokes)
  105. What’s a dog favorite hobby?… Collecting fleas!
  106. What is the fastest dog in the world?… A Labraghini.
  107. Where do you put barking dogs?… In a barking lot.
  108. Where do dogs go after their tails fall off?… The re-tail store. (Black Friday Jokes)
  109. What did the dog say to the flea?… Stop bugging me!
  110. What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?… a chili dog on a bun! (Hot Dog Jokes)
  111. Why did the dog stay in the shade?… Because he did not want to turn into a hot dog. (Hot Dog Jokes)
  112. Why did the dog bury himself in the back yard?… Cause you can’t grow a tree without bark.
  113. What do you do when your dog goes missing in the forest?… Put your ear to a tree and listen for the bark. (Tree Jokes)
  114. Why did the dog cross the road twice?… He was trying to fetch a boomerang!
  115. What do you call a sheepdog’s tail that can tell tall stories?… A shaggy dogs tale!
  116. I asked my dog what’s that thing on top of the house?.. And the he said “Roof Roof”.
  117. What did the tree say to the dog? Tree: Do you like bark? Dog: What do you think? I bark every day of my life. (Tree Jokes)
  118. Which dog breed absolutely LOVES living in the city?… A New Yorkie!
  119. What do you get when you cross a frog and a dog?… A croaker spaniel! (Frog Jokes)
  120. What did one flea say to the other?…Should we walk or take a dog?
  121. What’s a dog’s favorite dessert?… Pupcakes! (Cupcake Jokes)
  122. What did the dog say when he sat on some sandpaper?… That’s ruffffffff!!
  123. Dalmatian say after his meal?… “That hit the spots!”
  124. Which dog breed is guaranteed to laugh at all of your jokes?… A Chi-ha-ha!
  125. What do you call a wild dog that you can’t find?… A WHEREwolf! (Halloween Jokes)
  126. Why did you eat your homework?… Because I don’t have a dog. (180 School Jokes)
  127. What do you get if you cross a gold puppy with a telephone?… A golden receiver!
  128. What do you call a black Eskimo dog?… A dusky husky!
  129. Why didn’t the puppy speak to his foot?… Because it’s not polite to talk back to your paw! (Top Father’s Day JokesTop Father’s Day Quotes)
  130. Why do puppies wag their tails?… “Because no one else will do it for them!” (Puppy Jokes for Kids)
  131. What’s red, white, blue, and almost as ugly as a dog?… A revolutionary warthog! (American Revolution Jokes)
  132. Why did the dog need help on his Pros and Cons chart?… He was CON-fused!
  133. Why do puppies bury bones in the ground?… Because you can’t bury them in trees! (Puppy Jokes for Kids)
  134. What did the angry man sing when he found his slippers chewed up by the new puppy?… “I must throw that doggie out the window!”(Puppy Jokes for Kids)
  135. Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker?… Because all he ever said was “Rough, Rough”
  136. What kind of dog does Dracula have?… A bloodhound! (Top Halloween Jokes)
  137. What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a jelly?…  The collie wobbles!
  138. When does a dog go “moo”?… When it is learning a new language!
  139. How is a dog and a marine biologist alike?… One wags a tail and the other tags a whale. (World Ocean Day Jokes)
  140. What does my puppy and my phone have in common?… They both have collar I.D.
  141. How did American colonists’ dogs protest against England?… The Boston Flea Party. (4th of July Jokes)
  142. What do you call a cold dog?… Chilli Dog.
  143. A sign said, “Do not allow your dog to chase, injure, or worry wildlife.” How is a dog going to “worry” wildlife? Run up to a bird: “Hey, I think you’ve got something on your beak. It could be a tumor.”
  144. A woman called our airline customer-service desk asking if she could take her dog on board. “Sure,” I said, “as long as you provide your own kennel.” I further explained that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around, and roll over. The customer was flummoxed: “I’ll never be able to teach him all of that by tomorrow!”
  145. Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It’s hardly ever for them. Harry Hill
  146. My dog was my soul mate; we both took naps, we both skipped lunch, we both hated the vacuum. Elayne Boosle
  147. Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.
  148. What is a dog’s favorite food?… Anything that is on your plate!
  149. What kind of dog sounds like you can eat it?… A sausage dog! (Hot Dog Jokes)
  150. Why do dogs bury bones in the ground?… Because you can’t bury them in trees!
  151. How does a dog stop a video?… By pressing the paws button.
  152. My niece was dragged into court by a neighbor who complained about her barking dogs. At one point, the judge asked the neighbor a question. The neighbor didn’t reply. “Sir, are you going to answer me?” The neighbor leaped to his feet. “Are you talking to me?” he asked. “Sorry; I can’t hear a darn thing.” The case was dismissed
  153. “We’re eating dinner soon. Don’t fill up on homework.” Dog mom
  154. What looks like a dog, eats dog food, lives in a doghouse, and is very dangerous?… A dog with a machete.
  155. I tell ya, my dog is lazy. He don’t chase cars. He sits on the curb and takes down license plate numbers. Rodney Dangerfield
  156. How did the little Scottish puppy feel when he saw a monster?… Terrier-fied! (Top Halloween Jokes)
  157. What is a dog’s favorite sport?…Formula 1 drooling! (Car Racing Jokes)
  158. Why did the dog wear white sneakers?… Because his boots were at the menders!