Swimming Jokes for Kids

by | May 29, 2019 | Latest News, School Jokes | 0 comments

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  1. What race is never run?… A swimming race. (Summer Jokes for Kids)
  2. WARNING: A message to any weak/beginning swimmers thinking about swimming in the deep end of the pool today: I’d advise you not to; you’ll be in over your head.
  3. Why did the New England teacher go for a swim at the Polar Plunge on New Year’s Day?… She wanted to test the water. (Jokes for Teachers)
  4. Why did the teacher jump into the water?… She wanted to test it! (Jokes for Teachers)
  5. Funny Swimming Pool Signs: “Welcome to our _OOL, Notice there is no “P” in it. We’d like you to keep it that way.”
  6. A man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I don’t know what they’re filling the pool with, because he abruptly left when I offered him a glass of water!
  7. Why do outdoor swimming pools cost less than indoor swimming pools?… Because there’s less overhead.
  8. I went swimming with dolphins yesterday but there was one problem… They were too clicky! (Dolphin Jokes)
  9. I don’t understand why people are afraid to swim when there is lightning nearby… If lightning actually hit my pool I’d be totally shocked! (Rain Jokes)
  10. What do you call a fish who raps?… Swim Shady. (Music Jokes)
  11. A lifeguard reprimanded a kid: Lifeguard: Boy! Stop peeing in the pool! Boy: But everyone does! Lifeguard: I know, but not from the diving board!
  12. Why did the New England teacher go for a swim at the Polar Plunge on New Year’s Day?… He wanted to test the water and also give the 1st test of the year! (Jokes for Teachers)
  13. What is the best exercise for swimmers?… Pool-ups!
  14. I watched hockey before it was cool. They basically were swimming. (Hockey Jokes)
  15. Swimming’s good for you… Especially if you’re drowning!
  16. What kind of candy would a drowning person like to have?… A life saver! (Oceans Jokes & Candy Jokes)
  17. Did you hear about the baby swimmer?… He could only do the crawl. (Baby Jokes)
  18. What do you call someone who refuses to accept that they’re swimming in an African river?… In de Nile. (Psychology Jokes & World Geography Jokes)
  19. What kind of stroke can you use on toast?… BUTTER-fly! (Butter Jokes)
  20. There are 3 boys, named Stupid, Nothing, and Nobody. The boys go down to the river, and Nobody falls in the water, he can’t swim, so Nothing tells Stupid to call for help. Stupid calls 911 and says… “Hello, I’m Stupid, I’m calling for Nothing, Nobody fell in the water.” (Police Jokes)
  21. I’ve finally managed to conquer my addiction to swimming… I’ve been dry for six months now.
  22. Last night I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda… I guess it was just a Fanta sea! (Napping Jokes)
  23. How do pirates measure the distance they swim?… In YARRRRRds. (Pirate Jokes)
  24. What do scuba divers wear to bed?… A snore-kel. (Napping Jokes)
  25. Why did the vegetarians stop swimming?… They didn’t like meets!
  26. If you thought swimming with dolphins was expensive, you should try swimming with sharks …. It cost me an arm and a leg! (Shark Jokes & Dolphin Jokes)
  27. I am very good at swimming…some might even say I am eFISHient at it.
  28. What is a pencil’s favorite sport?… Diving (the pencil dive)! (Pencil Jokes)
  29. What detergent do swimmers use to wash their bathing suits?… Tide!
  30. I was going to take a winter swim… But after wading in I got cold feet. (Winter Jokes)
  31. I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining. (Labor Day Jokes)
  32. A hole has been discovered in the swimming pool changing rooms. The police are looking into it. (Police Jokes)
  33. What do you call a small pole that can swim?… A tadpole.
  34. What kind of dive are infantry men best at?… Cannon-ball! (Civil War Jokes)
  35. Where do race cars go swimming?…  In a car pool. (Car Jokes)
  36. What did Cinderella wear when she went swimming in the ocean?… Glass flippers! (Cinderella Jokes & Ocean Jokes for Kids)
  37. What word looks the same backwards and upside down?… Swims. (Letter of the Week & Grammar Jokes)
  38. What kind of swimmer makes a good gardener?… One with great seed times! (Flower Jokes)
  39. Why did the swimmer go back in time?… Because he was doing the backstroke! (Daylight Savings Jokes)
  40. How do you call a father in a swimming pool?… Dad in the water. (Dad Jokes)
  41. Where do zombies like to go swimming?… The Dead Sea (Ocean Jokes)
  42. What do a dentist and a swim coach have in common?… They both use drills! (Dentist Jokes)
  43. A new study shows sharks only bite those who swim in the ocean. Researchers advise not swimming there. (Shark Jokes & Ocean Jokes)
  44. Funny Swimming Pool Signs: “We don’t swim in your toilet, please don’t pee in our pool.”
  45. Why wasn’t the woman afraid when she saw a shark while she was swimming in the water?… Because it was a man-eating shark! (Shark Jokes)
  46. Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool… I gave him a glass of water.
  47. How do swimmers clean themselves?… They wash up on shore! (Ocean Jokes)
  48. What do you call a swim team made up of girls named Jennifer?… Hydrogens! (Chemistry Jokes for Teachers)
  49. Where do mummies swim?… In the Dead Sea.
  50. A book never written: “How to Get Wet” by Tip D. Canoe. (Book Jokes & Canoe Jokes)
  51. If you fall into water and don’t know how to swim… You have the rest of your life to learn.
  52. I went fishing at the weekend and there was this bloke splashing about in the middle of the lake shouting, “I can’t swim! I can’t swim!” “It’s alright, mate,” I shouted, pointing at a nearby sign, “It says no swimming anyway.”
  53. Two fish are swimming in a lake. They run into a concrete wall that blocks their path. One fish turns to the other and says ‘Dam.’
  54. In which direction does a chicken swim?… Cluck-wise! (Daylight Savings Jokes)
  55. Two cats called ‘1,2,3’ & ‘un,deux,trois’ had a swimming race across the channel. 1,2,3 cat won because un, deux, trois cat sank!
  56. What did the tree wear to the pool party?… Swimming trunks! (Summer Jokes for Kids & Tree Jokes)
  57. Why did the spider take swimming lessons?… He wanted to surf the Web. (Spider Jokes / Spiderman Jokes / Computer Jokes / Surfing Jokes / (Swimming Jokes)
  58. A book never written: “How to Swim” by Flo Tees. (Book Jokes & Canoe Jokes)
  59. Why did a person keep doing the backstroke?… He  just had lunch and didn’t want to swim on a full stomach.
  60. Definition Carpool—Where automobiles go for a dip. (Grammar Jokes)
  61. A book never written: “How to Swim” by I.M. Senkin. (Book Jokes & Canoe Jokes)
  62. What do you call goat swimming really fast in a lake?… A motor goat.
  63. What do electric eels like to swim in?… Fresh Watter.
  64. Did you hear about the slow swimmer?… He could only do the crawl.
  65. What is the only way a cheap person will swim?… Freestyle.
  66. Where do ghosts like to go swimming?… Lake Eerie. (Ghost Jokes & New York Jokes)
  67. Why did the fish swim across the Atlantic?… To get to the other tide. (Ocean Jokes)
  68. I was just taking a dip in the swimming pool when the lifeguard shouted out. “What have you got there?” “Hummus,” I replied.
  69. What did the pine trees wear to the lake?… Swimming trunks! (Camping Jokes for Kids)
  70. A sole and a flounder are swimming in the ocean when they bump into each other. The sole says, “A flounder!” The flounder, to be polite, says nothing.
  71. What did the Christmas trees wear to the lake?… Swimming trunks! (Camping Jokes for Kids)
  72. What stroke do sheep enjoy doing?… The baaaackstroke! (Sheep Jokes)
  73. Why do dolphins only swim in salt water?… Because pepper makes them sneeze! (Dolphin Jokes)
  74. What did the ocean say to the beach?… Nothing. It just waved. (Ocean Jokes)
  75. Why did the fish swim across the Pacific?… To get to the other tide. (Ocean Jokes)
  76. Where do fish keep their money?… In river-banks!
  77. Why can male elephants swim any time they want?… Because they always have their trunks on them.
  78. Why did the girl have problems swimming?… She didn’t have boy-ancy!
  79. What detergent do swimmers use to wash their wet suit?… Tide! (Ocean Jokes)
  80. You might be an Alaskan if… You learned to swim indoors. (Alaska Jokes)
  81. Teacher: “What’s your hobby, Mary?” “Knitting and swimming.””But doesn’t the wool get soggy?”
  82. Why can male elephants swim whenever they want?… They always have trunks with them! (Elephant Jokes)
  83. How do people swimming in the ocean say HI to each other?… They Wave! (Ocean Jokes)
  84. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Arya…Arya, who?… Arya ready to go swimming?
  85. “The car won’t start,” said a wife to her husband. ‟I think there’s water in the carburetor.” ‟How do you know?” said the husband scornfully. ‟You do not even know what the carburetor is.” ‟I am telling you,” repeated the wife, ‟I ’m sure there’s water in the carburetor.” ‟We’ll see,” mocked the husband. ‟Let me check it out. Where’s the car?” ‟In the swimming pool.”
  86. Why won’t they allow elephants in public swimming pools?… Because they might let down their trunks. (Elephant Jokes)
  87. What is a polar bear’s favorite stroke?… Blubber-fly! (Animal Jokes)
  88. Why should you never swim on a full stomach?… Because it’s easier to swim in water!
  89. Two reasons why I don’t let my girlfriend go into my swimming pool 1. I don’t have a swimming pool. 2. I don’t have a girlfriend.
  90. Why do taco fish swim in salt water?… Cause pepper water is too spicy! (Taco Jokes)
  91. Why couldn’t the two elephants go swimming together?… They only had a pair of trunks. (Elephant Jokes)
  92. Why do sharks swim in salt water?… Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
  93. A lemon and an orange were on a high diving board. The orange jumped off. Why didn’t the lemon?… Because it was yellow.
  94. Why shouldn’t you listen to people who have just come out of the swimming pool? … Because they are all wet.
  95. I saw a sheep driving a car in a swim suit… It was a Lambikini
  96. Swimming in the swimming pool Is where I like to “B” Wearing underwater goggles So that I can “C” Yesterday, before I swam I took a cup of “T” Now the swimming pool had become a swimming ool Because I took a “P”
  97. How do you know if your swimming pool needs cleaning?… Kids still pee in your pool, but they refuse to get in it first.
  98. What kind of fish can’t swim?… A dead one.
  99. Kylie Jenner tries to go into the ocean for a swim but gets stopped by the life guard The life guard says “U can’t go in there! There’s already enough plastic in the sea,”
  100. So, my swimming instructor asked me a question. “what’s your favorite stroke?” He asked me. Apparently “the one that killed Margaret Thatcher” wasn’t the right answer.
  101. My friend told me he put a potato down his swim trunks and now the girls won’t leave him alone Didn’t work for me. Apparently, you need to put it in the front.
  102. Why did the partially-sighted kid go to the public swimming pool?… He wanted adult supervision.
  103. I spent most of my afternoon hanging out at the swimming pool……and then someone told me and I tucked it back in again.
  104. If you were swimming in the ocean and a big alligator attacked you, what should you do?… Nothing. There are no alligators in the ocean. (Ocean Jokes)
  105. Why do squirrels swim on there back?… To keep their nuts dry!
  106. Why do fish swim in water?… Because their leg do not reach the bottom.
  107. What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in a swimming pool?… Bob.
  108. A fish swims into a wall… Dam.
  109. I learnt swimming the same way I learnt Chemical Engineering… Online.
  110. What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in a swimming ocean?… Bob.
  111. What did the dumb person write on the bottom of her swimming pool?… No smoking!
  112. What’s the hardest thing about wearing a speedo?… Telling your parents that you like the same sex!
  113. The Kardashians shouldn’t be allowed to swim… We don’t need even more plastic in the ocean!
  114. What did the media say about Kim Kardashian swimming… There’s too much plastic in our oceans.
  115. One Two Three Cat and Un Deux Trois Cat hold a swimming contest Which one wins? A: One Two Three cat, as Un Deux Trois Quatre Cinq.
  116. I had 3 French cats. The three are named un, and deux who could swim, but, my trois cat sank.
  117. What did the fish yell as it collided with a wall mid-swim?… DAMN!
  118. I learned to swim when I was very young when my dad threw me into the river… I thought i’d never get out of the bag.
  119. An Englishman named “One-two-three” and a Frenchman named “Un-deux-trios” challenged each other to see whose cat could swim across the Channel first… After a grueling competition, One-two-three won after Un-deux-trois quatre cinq.
  120. A limbless man takes up swimming A man with no arms or legs decided to take up swimming in an attempt to make the Paralympics. He was called Bob.
  121. Two fish are swimming in a lake. They run into a concrete wall that blocks their path. One fish turns to the other and says ‘Dam’.
  122. When you swim in the creek and an eel bites your cheek that’s a moray!
  123. Why is it illegal for the Kardashians to go swimming? Because throwing plastic in the ocean is a crime.
  124. Why aren’t there many North Koreans in the Olympics?… Because anyone who can run, swim, or jump is in South Korea!
  125. STUDENT: Sir, can I ask a question Teacher: Yes! Student: How do you put an elephant inside a fridge? Teacher: I don’t know. Student: it’s easy. You just open the fridge and put it in. I have another question! Teacher: Okay ask! Student: How to put a donkey inside the fridge?? Teacher: It’s easy you just open the fridge and put it in. Student: No, sir! You just open the fridge to take out the elephant and then put the donkey in. Teacher: Ohhh.. Ok! Student: Let me ask another one. If all the animals went to the lion’s birthday party, and one animal went missing, which one would it be? Teacher: The Lion of course! Because it would eat all the animals. Student: No sir, it is the donkey because it’s still inside the fridge. Teacher: Are you kidding me?! Student: No sir! One last question. Teacher: OK!! Student: If there’s a river known for deadly crocodiles and you want to cross, how would you? Teacher: There’s no way, I would need a boat to cross. Student: No sir, you just swim and cross it because all the animals went to the lion’s birthday party.
  126. Dad taught me how to swim by throwing me into a lake. The swimming part was easy. Getting out of the burlap sack took some work.
  127. I was going to take a winter swim But after wading in I got cold feet.
  128. Why did the teacher dive into the ocean, lake, river, or pool?… She wanted to test the water! (Swimming Jokes / Teacher Jokes / 180 School Jokes / Ocean Jokes)