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Summer Guest Blogs & Summer Jokes for Kids

  1. What race is never run?… A swimming race. (Summer Jokes for Kids)
  2. If you thought swimming with dolphins was expensive, you should try swimming with sharks …. It cost me an arm and a leg! (Shark Jokes & Dolphin Jokes)
  3. Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool… I gave him a glass of water.
  4. Why do outdoor swimming pools cost less than indoor swimming pools?… Because there’s less overhead.
  5. Why did the teacher dive into the ocean, lake, river, or pool?… She wanted to test the water! (Swimming Jokes / Teacher Jokes / 180 School Jokes / Ocean Jokes)
  6. What kind of candy would a drowning person like to have?… A life saver! (Oceans Jokes & Candy Jokes)
  7. What is a pencil’s favorite sport?… Diving (the pencil dive)! (Pencil Jokes)
  8. I was going to take a winter swim… But after wading in I got cold feet. (Winter Jokes)
  9. A new study shows sharks only bite those who swim in the ocean. Researchers advise not swimming there.(Shark Jokes & Ocean Jokes)
  10. What did Cinderella wear when she went swimming in the ocean?… Glass flippers! (Cinderella Jokes & Ocean Jokes for Kids)
  11. What kind of dive are infantry men best at?… Cannon-ball! (Civil War Jokes)
  12. Why wasn’t the woman afraid when she saw a shark while she was swimming in the water?… Because it was a man-eating shark! (Shark Jokes)
  13. I don’t understand why people are afraid to swim when there is lightning nearby… If lightning actually hit my pool I’d be totally shocked! (Rain Jokes)
  14. What do scuba divers wear to bed?… A snore-kel. (Napping Jokes)
  15. A book never written: “How to Get Wet” by Tip D. Canoe. (Book Jokes & Canoe Jokes)
  16. I was just taking a dip in the swimming pool when the lifeguard shouted out..”What have you got there?””Hummus,” I replied.
  17. Did you hear about the baby swimmer?… He could only do the crawl. (Baby Jokes)
  18. What did the tree wear to the pool party?… Swimming trunks! (Summer Jokes for Kids & Tree Jokes)
  19. Why did the spider take swimming lessons?… He wanted to surf the Web. (Spider Jokes / Spiderman Jokes / Computer Jokes)
  20. A book never written: “How to Swim” by Flo Tees. (Book Jokes & Canoe Jokes)
  21. A book never written: “How to Swim” by I.M. Senkin. (Book Jokes & Canoe Jokes)
  22. What is the only way a cheap person will swim?… Freestyle.
  23. Where do ghosts like to go swimming?… Lake Eerie. (Ghost Jokes & New York Jokes)
  24. Why did the fish swim across the Atlantic?To get to the other tide.
  25. Last night I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda… I guess it was just a Fanta sea!
  26. Where do race cars go swimming?…  In a car pool. (Car Sports)
  27. I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining. (Labor Day Jokes)
  28. Why do dolphins only swim in salt water?… Because pepper makes them sneeze!5. 
  29. What did the ocean say to the beach?… Nothing. It just waved
  30. Why did the swimmer go back in time?… Because he was doing the backstroke!
  31. What is the best exercise for swimmers?… Pool-ups!
  32. Where do fish keep their money?… In river-banks!
  33. How do pirates measure the distance they swim?… In YARRRRRds.
  34. Why can male elephants swim any time they want?… Because they always have their trunks on them.
  35. What do you call a swim team made up of girls named Jennifer?… Hydrogens!
  36. Why did the girl have problems swimming?… She didn’t have boy-ancy!
  37. What detergent do swimmers use to wash their bathing suits?… Tide!
  38. Funny Swimming Pool Signs: “Welcome to our _OOL, Notice there is no “P” in it. We’d like you to keep it that way.”
  39. Funny Swimming Pool Signs: “We don’t swim in your toilet, please don’t pee in our pool.”
  40. What detergent do swimmers use to wash their wet suit?… Tide! (Ocean Jokes)
  41. What kind of exercises are best for a swimmer?… Pool-ups! (101 Sports Jokes)
  42. Where do zombies like to go swimming?… The Dead Sea (Ocean Jokes)
  43. Two cats called ‘1,2,3’ & ‘un,deux,trois’ had a swimming race across the channel. 1,2,3 cat won because un, deux, trois cat sank!
  44. What kind of stroke can you use on toast?… BUTTER-fly!
  45. I watched hockey before it was cool. They basically were swimming. (Hockey Jokes)
  46. Two fish are swimming in a lake.They run into a concrete wall that blocks their path.One fish turns to the other and says ‘Dam.’
  47. Why did the vegetarians stop swimming?… They didn’t like meets!
  48. I watched hockey before it was cool. They basically were swimming. (Hockey Jokes)
  49. A hole has been discovered in the swimming pool changing rooms.The police are looking into it.
  50. You might be an Alaskan if… You learned to swim indoors. (Alaska Jokes)
  51. Teacher: “What’s your hobby, Mary?” “Knitting and swimming.””But doesn’t the wool get soggy?”
  52. What kind of swimmer makes a good gardener?… One with great seed times! (Flower Jokes)
  53. I spent most of my afternoon hanging out at the swimming pool……and then someone told me and I tucked it back in again.
  54. What did the pine trees wear to the lake?… Swimming trunks! (Camping Jokes for Kids)
  55. Why did a person keep doing the backstroke?… He  just had lunch and didn’t want to swim on a full stomach.
  56. What word looks the same backwards and upside down?… Swims. (Letter of the Week & Grammar Jokes)
  57. How do swimmers clean themselves?… They wash up on shore! (Ocean Jokes)
  58. Why can male elephants swim whenever they want?… They always have trunks with them! (Elephant Jokes)
  59. What do a dentist and a swim coach have in common?… They both use drills! (Dentist Jokes)
  60. In which direction does a chicken swim?… Cluck-wise! (Daylight Savings Jokes)
  61. How do people swimming in the ocean say HI to each other?… They Wave! (Ocean Jokes)
  62. What stroke do sheep enjoy doing?… The baaaackstroke! (Sheep Jokes)
  63. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Arya…Arya, who?… Arya ready to go swimming?
  64. Definition Carpool—Where automobiles go for a dip.
  65. What do you call someone who refuses to accept that they’re swimming in an African river?in de Nile.
  66. What kind of fish can’t swim?… A dead one.
  67. Why won’t they allow elephants in public swimming pools?… Because they might let down their trunks. (Elephant Jokes)
  68. If you were swimming in the ocean and a big alligator attacked you, what should you do?… Nothing. There are no alligators in the ocean. (Ocean Jokes)
  69. A lemon and an orange were on a high diving board. The orange jumped off. Why didn’t the lemon?… Because it was yellow.
  70. Why shouldn’t you listen to people who have just come out of the swimming pool? … Because they are all wet.
  71. What is a polar bear’s favorite stroke?… Blubber-fly! (Animal Jokes)
  72. Why should you never swim on a full stomach?… Because it’s easier to swim in water!
  73. I am very good at swimming…some might even say I am eFISHient at it.
  74. A lifeguard reprimand a kid: Boy! Stop peeing in the pool! But everyone does! I know, but not from the diving board!
  75. Why couldn’t the two elephants go swimming together?… They only had a pair of trunks. (Elephant Jokes)
  76. Why do sharks swim in salt water?Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
  77. If you fall into water and don’t know how to swim… You have the rest of your life to learn.
  78. Did you hear about the slow swimmer?… He could only do the crawl.