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In ancient times, simple patches were used to repair badly worn clothing. Later, patches were used as a means of boosting morale and solidarity. Funny jokes can boost morale, custom patches of funny short Coast Guard jokes are great. Give them to friends around you who are interested in the military or who work in the military. Joke patches win the most praise for being quirky and witty. Who wouldn’t want to receive the gift of amusement? Our military patches come in a variety of styles, such as military Velcro patches, military backpack patches, cool military patches, and more.

Google Search “Coast Guard Jokes”

  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Coast Guard jokes.
  2. Which pumpkins can swim the best?… The coast gourd. (Coast Guard Jokes & Swimming Jokes)
  3. Did you know you can’t eat ice cream in the Coast Guard?… Apparently you get arrested for desserting. (Ice Cream Jokes)
  4. My Granddad fought in the war and survived mustard gas and pepper spray… He’s now classed as a seasoned veteran.
  5. My grandfather was a baker in the Coast Guard… He went in all buns glazing.
  6. What do you call a military tree who doesn’t return on time?… Absent without leaf. (Tree Jokes)
  7. Why did the Coast Guard officer stuff himself with ice cream?… He was a desserter. (Ice Cream Jokes)
  8. Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gusta join the Coast Guard. (August Knock Knock Jokes)
  9. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about the Coast Guard?
  10. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Coast Guard knock-knock joke?
  11. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Coast Guard knock knock jokes? (June Jokes Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  12. An ice cream, a creme brulee, and a slice of cheesecake joined the army, but they abandoned their fellow soldiers on their first deployment They are wanted for dessertion. (Ice Cream Jokes)
  13. Why are there no knock knock jokes about America?… Because freedom rings! (Memorial Day Knock Knock Jokes)
  14. What did the Navy say to the coast guards?… “I’ll SEAL you later.” (Seal Jokes & Coast Guard Jokes)
  15. I became a chef after I left the Coast Guard… Some would say I am a seasoned veteran. (Labor Day Jokes & Veterans Day Jokes)
  16. Did you know Coast Guard ships run on commercial batteries?… They run on 7 C’s.
  17. I’m about to lose my job in the Cost Guard unless I make some drastic changes… I have to take a course in anchor management. (Labor Day Jokes & Psychology Jokes)
  18. A distress call comes in to Pierre at the Maine coast guard: “Mayday! Mayday. We’re 12 miles out on a capsized boat.” “No can do” Pierre said, “We’ve got all we can do searching for regular-sized boats.” (Sailing Jokes & Maine Jokes)
  19. Coast Guard jet pilot: This is it! We’re flying faster than the speed of sound! Copilot: What? (Pilot Jokes & Plane Jokes)
  20. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Coast Guard knock-knock joke?
  21. What happens when you eat too many Coast Guard beans?… You might end up with a dishonorable discharge.
  22. Dad: You wanna join the Coast Guard? You can’t even swim! Son: nN one can fly in the Air Force either. (Dad Jokes)
  23. The Coast Guard is beginning to recruit blind men… They are sending them out to sea.
  24. Have you heard about the karate champion who joined the Coast Guard?… The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself! (Veterans Day Jokes & Karate Jokes)
  25. Where do Coast Guard seamen go when they get sick?… The dock.
  26. Why couldn’t the Coast Guard save the hippie?… He was too far out man!
  27. Coast Guard cadets can’t comprehend the 6-foot social distancing requirement… But everyone in the navy can fathom it. (Army Jokes)
  28. A cool job that sounds lame: Building boats for the Coast Guard… You’d be a subcontractor. (Labor Day Jokes)
  29. A small boy was staring at the names on the wall of an old church when the pastor noticed him. “What are you looking at?” asked the clergyman. “All those names. Who are they?” the boy asked. The pastor nodded, and said, “They are the reason we have Memorial Day. They are those who died in the service.” The little boy considered that, then asked quietly, “The 9 o’clock service or the 11 o’clock?” (Cemetery Jokes)
  30. What is a cow’s favorite holiday?… Moomorial day. (Cow Jokes)
  31. Who won the zombie war?…Nobody, it was dead even. (Zombie Jokes)
  32. What did the coast guard patrolman say to the other when they had a problem?… We are in the same boat.
  33. Each branch has a military ball (Navy Ball, Army Ball, etc.) And it warms my heart to know that one branch will be having “Space Balls” from here on out. (Dance Jokes & Astronomy Jokes)
  34. The Coast Guard rescued a boat with 10 cats and one jumped out. How many were left?… None, because they were copycats!
  35. What time is it when a whale runs into a Coast Guard ship?… Time to get a new ship.
  36. Who’s the head of the penguin Coast Guard?… Admiral Byrd! (Bird Jokes & Navy Jokes)
  37. A ship radios the German coast guard Ship: Help we are sinking! German coast guard: wot are you sinking about?
  38. What did Galaga aliens and WW2 Coast Guard officers have in common?… Both came in WAVES.
  39. What’s the difference between a beach and a tarot deck?… One has coast guards, the other has ghost cards.
  40. The Coast Guard recently changed their minimum height requirements to 6′… That way if the boat sinks everyone can just walk to shore.