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More Labor Day Jokes…

  1. Why did the man go into the pizza business?… He wanted to make some dough. (Pizza Jokes)
  2. I got a job as a pencil sharpener… I would tell you about it but you wouldn’t get the point. (Pencil Jokes)
  3. How does a pencil hire their workers?… He appoints them. (Pencil Jokes)
  4. My local pizza place is struggling to stay afloat…They really knead the dough! (Pizza Jokes)
  5. Being unemployed has really helped to lower my carbon footprint. (Earth Day Jokes)
  6. How do they hire Super Bowl referees?… With stilts. (Super Bowl Jokes)
  7. The date is 20 January 2017. Donald Trump has just been sworn in as President. He walks to the mic for his inauguration speech. He looks at Obama and says “You’re Fired!” (Inauguration Jokes)
  8. Vladimir Putin has announced that he will be resigning as the President of Russia in January… He Putin his two month notice. (Inauguration Jokes)
  9. As soon as the 2017 inauguration is over, I’m getting a position on Trump’s ethics committee… I’m not political, I just need some quiet time alone. (Inauguration Jokes)
  10. If I had a dollar every time a customer complained about the price of cinema food… I could almost afford a small popcorn. (Popcorn Jokes & Labor Day Jokes)
  11. I got thrown out of the cinema for throwing popcorn at the back of people’s heads… I also lost my job behind the popcorn counter. (Movie Jokes & Labor Day Jokes)
  12. I want to open a milk factory and name the company “Legend.” It’ll be “Legend-Dairy.” (Milk Jokes)
  13. My friend got fired from his cow milking job because of his erratic behavior. He was a danger to himself and udders. (Milk Jokes)
  14. Help Wanted: Gymnastics Teacher Needed To Work Sat-Wed. Must be flexible. (Top Jobs for Teachers & Labor Day Jokes)
  15. My wife came home from work yesterday and was raging about her boss. She said to me, “I’m never going to work for that man again!.”  I asked her, “Why, what did he say to you?”  She said, “You’re fired.”
  16. Why do hockey players work in bakeries during the off season?… They’re great at icing the cakes. (Cake Jokes & Hockey Jokes)
  17. What happened when a Maine fisherman was late to work?… She lobster job. (Maine Jokes)
  18. How do dog catchers get paid?… By the pound! (Dog Jokes)
  19. Why did the disgruntled hot dog vendor quit his job?… He just didn’t relish it. (Hot Dog Jokes)
  20. I tried being a teacher, but I soon lost my principal, my faculties, and my class. (Teacher Jokes)
  21. I studied to become a doctor, but I didn’t have enough patients for the job. (Doctor Jokes)
  22. You know, I use to be a teacher, but found out I didn’t have enough class… (Teacher Jokes)
  23. What do you call a door to door bicycle salesman?… A Peddler! (Labor Day Jokes)
  24. One seventh of your life is spent on Monday.  However, the only person to get his work done by Friday was Robinson Crusoe.
  25. Why did the baker stop making donuts?… He was fed up with the hole business! (Labor Day Jokes for Kids)
  26. “Labor Day is a glorious holiday because your child will be going back to school the next day. It would have been called Independence Day, but that name was already taken.” Bill Dodds 
  27. I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn’t cut it. (Barber Jokes)
  28. Why was the meat packer arrested?… For bringing home the bacon. (Bacon Jokes)
  29. I became a chef after I left the army… Some would say I am a seasoned veteran. (Veterans Day Jokes)
  30. Whenever Autumn comes around, I like to walk around and collect the colorful leaves… It sounds better than saying I’m a street sweeper. (Fall Jokes)
  31. Taco chefs earn a meager celery, cumin home beat, they just want to read the pepper, and spend a little thyme with the kids. (Taco Jokes)
  32. Why can’t carpenters play hockey?… They always gets nailed to the boards. (Hockey Jokes)
  33. I thought about being a historian, but I couldn’t see a future in it. (US History Jokes & Social Studies Jokes)
  34. I turned to farming, but I wasn’t outstanding in my field. (Farming Jokes)
  35. Happy Labor Day! Oh wait… we live on a farm. Never mind! (Farming Jokes)
  36. Did you hear the joke about Labor Day?… It doesn’t work for me!
  37. Bullets and fireworks are the only things that do their job after they’ve been fired. (Fireworks Jokes)
  38. What does Santa spend his wages on?… Jingle bills! (Christmas Jokes)
  39. This really was supposed to be a joke! Why did the baseball manager get arrested (and fired)?… for stealing signs. (Police Jokes & Labor Day Jokes)
  40. What happened to the gun at summer camp?… He got FIRED! (Hunting Jokes & Summer Camp Jokes)
  41. I’m good at firework displays. I’ve got a flare for it. (Fireworks Jokes for Kids)
  42. She got fired from her job as a hot dog vendor because she put her hair in a bun. (Hot Dog Jokes)
  43. When I grow up I want to be a veterinarian then go into the army, and become a veteran so I can become…A Vet Vet.
  44. If all wealth is gained through labor, why is it that the wealthy never have to do any?
  45. I took a job at UPS, but I couldn’t express myself.
  46. I tried being a fireman, but I suffered burnout.
  47. I became a banker, but I lacked interest and maturity, and finally withdrew from the job.
  48.  I wish I made enough money from my labor to be able to afford a Labor Day vacation.  
  49. This Labor Day, take comfort in the knowledge that the pressure to have fun this summer is finally off.
  50. How’s the fireworks business?…Booming!! (Fireworks Jokes)
  51. I asked a little girl do you know why we get out of school for Labor Day? She was very enthusiastic to say “It is a time when all the mommies of the world go into labor.” (Mother’s Day Jokes)
  52. Why are watermelons such good entrepreneurs?… They always have seed money. (Watermelon Jokes)
  53. I was a professional fisherman, but I couldn’t live on my net income. (Lobster Jokes & Fishing Jokes)
  54. I next worked in a shoe factory, but I just didn’t fit in. They thought I was a loafer, and I got the boot.
  55. If a train station is where the train stops, and a bus station is where the bus stops, what is a work station? (Train Jokes)
  56. I worked at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind. (Coffee Jokes)
  57. Father: Do you know, most people don’t have to work today, because it’s Labor Day. Son: If people are not working, shouldn’t we call today ‘No-Labor Day?’ (Father’s Day Jokes)
  58. I used to get into fights at the drop of a hat. Which is probably why I got fired from my job as a graduation photographer. (Graduation Jokes)
  59. I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it. Mainly because it was a sew-sew job, de-pleating and de-pressing. (Psychology Jokes)
  60. I went to a hockey store and asked an employee if they had any cheap skates. They sent me to the manager’s office. (Hockey Jokes)
  61. In which part of the bread factory do lobsters work?… The crust station. (Lobster Jokes)
  62. Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe. (Tree Jokes)
  63. I tried my hand at a professional career in tennis, but it wasn’t my racket. I was too high strung. (Tennis Jokes)
  64. What do hamburger workers say on Monday morning?… Well, it’s back to the old grind! (Hamburger Jokes)
  65. Why do construction crews on Mt. Rushmore have such a hard time figuring out who the boss is?… Because it’s covered with foremen. (South Dakota Jokes)
  66. Why shouldn’t you go into business with a watermelon?… They’re seedy. (Watermelon Jokes)
  67. In honor of Earth day, I’m sending all of my work-related emails to my “recycle” folder. (Earth Day Jokes)
  68. I became a personal trainer in a gym, but they said I wasn’t fit for the job.
  69. Why didn’t Jason wear his hockey mask for Halloween?… Because you don’t wear white after Labor Day. (Funny Halloween Jokes)
  70. What do you call a guitar that never finishes a job?… a quitar. (Guitar Jokes)
  71. Did you hear the joke about Labor Day?… It works for me!
  72. I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining. (Swimming Jokes)
  73. Why are hot dogs angry?… They are always getting roasted.
  74. I manufactured calendars, but my days were numbered. (365 Family Friendly Jokes)
  75. My first job was in an orange juice factory, but I couldn’t concentrate on the same old boring rind, so I got canned. (Orange Juice Jokes)
  76. Then I was a pilot, but tended to wing it, and I didn’t have the right altitude. (Pilot Jokes)
  77. I think I want to quit my real estate job. I’d rather clean mirrors for a living. It’s just something I can see myself doing.
  78. Tourist: “Nice little town — so old and quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?” Resident: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.” (Travel Blogs)
  79. After that, I tried working in a donut shop, but I soon got tired of the hole business. (Donut Jokes for Kids)
  80. Have you ever been to a hot dog factory?… No, I haven’t sausage a place. (Hot Dog Jokes)
  81. I became a baker, but it wasn’t a cakewalk, and I couldn’t make enough dough. They fired me after I left a cake out in the rain. (Cupake Jokes & Cake Jokes)
  82. If today is labor day, how many babies were born? (Mother’s Day Jokes & Doctor Jokes)
  83. Next I was an electrician, but I found the work shocking and revolting, so they discharged me.
  84. Why did the baker open a tortilla factory?… For the extra dough! (Taco Jokes)
  85. I tried working in a car muffler factory, but that was exhausting. (Car Jokes)
  86. I took a job as an upholsterer, but I never recovered.
  87. I was a masseur for a while, but I rubbed people the wrong way.
  88. I became a Velcro salesman, but I couldn’t stick with it.
  89. I took a job as an elevator operator. The job had its ups and downs, and I got the shaft.
  90. I sold origami, but the business folded.
  91. I took a job at UPS, but I couldn’t express myself.
  92. I tried being a fireman, but I suffered burnout.
  93. I became a banker, but I lacked interest and maturity, and finally withdrew from the job.
  94. So I’ve retired, and I find I’m a perfect fit for this job!
  95. What happened to the gun at summer camp?… He got FIRED! (Summer Camp Jokes)
  96. What happened to the pottery at summer camp?… He got fired! (Summer Camp Jokes)
  97. If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.
  98. “It’s a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it’s a depression when you lose your own.” Harry S. Truman
  99. One seventh of your life is spent on Monday.  However, the only person to get his work done by Friday was Robinson Crusoe.
  100. Teacher: Why can’t you work in an orange juice factory? Student: I don’t know. Why? Teacher: Because you can’t concentrate! (Orange Juice Jokes)
  101. Getting a job in the Arctic in the winter is great! Why?… When the days get short, you only have to work a 30 minute work week.
  102. July 4th PSA: On one hand fireworks are a lot of fun. On the other hand I only have 2 fingers. (Fireworks Jokes for Kids & Biology Jokes for Kids)
  103. Grandpa: “I used to have an origami business.” Grandson: “What happened to it?” Grandpa: “It folded!” (Grandparent Jokes)
  104. My dear old grandmother always used to say the way to a man’s heart was through his stomach…. That’s why she lost her job as a cardiac surgeon. (Grandparent Jokes)
  105. My grandpa always says, “When one door closes, another opens.” He was a good man, but a lousy cabinet maker.
  106. How did the hot dog get the job despite having a criminal record?… It was a misde-wiener. (Hot Dog Jokes)
  107. A pyrotechnic expert friend of mine lost his job after the fireworks didn’t go off in the right sequence.
  108. The best way to celebrate Labor Day is by filing for unemployment.
  109. Can you still “work it” on Labor Day? My boss made me go into the office on Labor Day. Halfway through the day, he came in to check up on me and caught me having a beer.  He said to me, “You can’t drink while you’re working.”  I said, “Oh, don’t worry – I’m not working.”
  110. The Labor Day holiday means I get my unemployment check a day late.
  111. Daughter: Is Auntie having her baby today? Mother: Why did you think she is about to give birth? Daughter (7): Because you said today was Labor Day!
  112. Why should pirates work for FedEx?… They have the fastest ships in the shipping business. (Pirate Jokes)
  113. Did you hear about the tree that had to take time off of work in autumn?… It was on paid leaf. (Tree Jokes)
  114. I had a terrible Labor Day weekend.  My wife was in a horrible car crash and lost her left leg and left arm.  She’s all right now.
  115. Why can’t cookie dough hold a steady job?… Because it’s always getting baked. (Cookie Jokes)
  116. Teacher: Why can’t you work in an orange juice factory? Middle School Student: I don’t know. Why? Teacher: Because you can’t concentrate! (Middle School Jokes)