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Hockey is one of the most popular sports in schools. The game involves 11 players hitting around a hard, plastic ball using a stick towards the opponent’s goal. Ice hockey is a variation of the game and is more popular in North America than the rest of the world. You can get prepared to hit the ice by finding a good pair of skates at hockeymonkey.com/equipment/hockey-skates

  1. What would the greatest hockey player in history be called if he would have chosen not to play hockey?…Wayne Regretzky
  2. Do you know what an enforcer does on a hockey team?… Just checking.
  3. What does a hockey player and a magician have in common?… Both do hat tricks!(Magic Jokes)
  4. What did the skeleton drive to the Hockey game?… A Zam-bony. (Halloween Jokes for Kids & Skeleton Jokes)
  5. Hockey players are like goldfish The way we get their attention is to tap on the glass. (Fish Jokes)
  6. What do you give a hockey player when he demands money?… A check.
  7. Why couldn’t the Anchorage school district buy enough buses for children?… Because they had to buy the Zambonis first! (Alaska Jokes)
  8. Hockey players are good at making new friends. They break the ice really quickly.
  9. I watched hockey before it was cool. They basically were swimming.
  10. I went to a hockey store and asked an employee if they had any cheap skates. They sent me to the managers office. (Labor Day Jokes)
  11. Which goalie can jump higher than a crossbar?… All of them, a crossbar can’t jump! (Track and Field Jokes for Kids)
  12. Why can’t dragons play ice hockey?… If they breathe fire, the ice melts. (Dragon Jokes)
  13. Why do hockey players like most about chess?… When they get to check the king.
  14. Why do hockey rinks have rounded corners?…
  15. Why did the hockey player go to jail?… Because he shot the puck.
  16. Because if they were 90 degrees, the ice would melt.
  17. What the best way to get a hockey player into a bank?… Offer free checking.
  18. How a does hockey player kiss?… He puckers up. (Valentine’s Day Jokes for Kids)
  19. What does Pooh do when he is on skates and he wants to stop? … He crashes. (Winnie the Pooh Jokes)
  20. Why do hockey players work in bakeries during the off season?… They’re great at icing the cakes.
  21. What time is it when a hockey team chases a baseball team?… Six after nine. (9:06)
  22. Why did the boy climb up the tree with a hockey stick Cause he wanted to join the maple leafs.
  23. What does a hockey game and an airboat have in common?… Loud fans.
  24. How do hockey players stay cool?… By sitting next to the fans.
  25. What hockey position did the spirit play?… Ghouli.
  26. Why is Cinderella so bad at hockey?… She always loses a skate.
  27. What did the cowboy ride to the Hockey game?… A Zam-pony.
  28. Why is the hockey rink hot after the game?… Because all the fans have left.
  29. What did the sea captain say to the hockey player using the row boat?… Bobby Orr.
  30. Why can’t carpenters play hockey?… They always gets nailed to the boards.
  31. What did the zombie do at the hockey rink?… Rode the zombioni.
  32. Which are the best animals at hockey?… A score-pion.
  33. Why do NHL players never sweat?… They have too many fans.
  34. Why are New Jersey Devils hockey players so fit?… It’s from all the exorcising.
  35. Why are comedians so good at playing forward?… They’re always prepared with a hockey shtick
  36. What did the pasta chef ride to the Hockey game?… A zam-roni.
  37. What did the army captain say to his hockey team?… Forwards… skate!
  38. What is the hardest foot to buy a hockey skate for?… A square foot.
  39. Why did the hockey player keep getting talked to by his English teacher?… He kept putting 3 periods at the end of each sentence.
  40. What do a bad hockey teams and the Titanic have in common?… They both look good until they hit the ice.
  41. Why do NHL players never sweat?… They have too many fans.
  42. Which hockey player has the biggest helmet?… The one with the biggest head.
  43. Which hockey players can’t you trust?… Anyone on the Devils.
  44. What do hockey players get in their Christmas stockings?… Silly pucky.
  45. Which hockey player is best at forecasting the weather?… Pucksatawny phil.
  46. Why can’t hockey players dress up for Halloween?… They always take their face off.
  47. What was the hockey player’s favorite part of his birthday party?… The icing on the cake.
  48. What kind of tea do hockey players drink?… Penal-tea.
  49. What do hockey players drink on hot days?… Iced tea.
  50. What can you catch from scared hockey players?… Chicken pucks.
  51. Why did the hockey player cross the rink?… To get to the other side.
  52. What does the best hockey team get for their end-of-season party?… Stanley Cupcakes.
  53. What award does the best Chinese hockey team win at the end of the season?… The Bruce-Lee Cup.
  54. Why couldn’t the hockey player play in the band?… He broke his trom-bone.
  55. Why was there a pig at the hockey game?… He drove the hambony.
  56. What do Eskimo hockey players eat?… Ice bergers.
  57. Why did the horse back rider show up for hockey tryouts?… He thought they said they were Jockey tryouts.
  58. What did the hockey goalie say to the puck?… Catch you later.
  59. How do hockey players like to be paid?… With a check.
  60. What do angry hockey players say after getting tripped?… That’s it – no more Mr. Ice guy.
  61. What do a bad hockey team (insert name) and the Titanic have in common?… They both look good until they hit the ice! (Ocean Jokes)
  62. Old hockey players never die, they just achieve their final goal!
  63. What is a hockey spectator’s favorite month?… “Fan” uary. (January Jokes)
  64. I wanted to buy a hockey stadium. But unfortunately my realtor could only give me a ballpark estimate.
  65. How many teeth does a hockey player have? Don’t you mean tooth?
  66. What do you call a grumpy hockey player?… No more, Mr. Ice guy!
  67. Why couldn’t the hockey player listen to music?… Because he broke a record.
  68. What is the hardest foot to buy a hockey skate for?… A square foot. (Math Jokes)
  69. Did you hear about the hockey player who became a surgeon?… He specialized in bury-hat-trick surgery. (Doctor Jokes)
  70. Why can’t you play hockey with pigs?… They hog the puck.
  71. Where is the best place to shop for a hockey shirt?… New Jersey. (Geography Jokes for Kids & Top 50 State Jokes)
  72. Why do NHL players never sweat?… They have too many fans!
  73. Why did the hockey player visit the bank?… He wanted to give out more checks.
  74. Why are scrambled eggs like a losing hockey team?… Because they’ve both been beaten.
  75. Recently found out that Stan Lee was an exceptional hockey player. His very first practice and he already had the Stanley Cup.
  76. What do you call a monkey that wins the Stanley Cup?… A chimpion. (Animal Jokes for Kids)
  77. Which are the best animals at hockey?… A score-pion. (Animal Jokes for Kids)
  78. What’s the difference between a hockey game and a boxing match?… In a hockey game, the fights are real. (Boxing Jokes)
  79. Why are the Buffalo Sabres like grizzly bears?… Every fall they go into hibernation. (Winter Jokes for Kids)
  80. It is Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. “No” says the neighbor. “The seat is empty.” “This is incredible,” said the man. “Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup, and not use it?” The neighbor says, “Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven’t been to together since we got married.” “Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible. But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, a relative or even a neighbor to take the seat? The man shook his head. “No,” he says. “They’re all at the funeral.”
  81. My friend and I visited Canada for the first time…We went to a fight, and a hockey game broke out.
  82. What do you call a hockey player in a leaky barn?Grain Wetzsky
  83. Hockey players are known for their summer teethSummer here, summer there
  84. Where does a majority of a hockey player’s salary come from?The tooth fairy
  85. Where do hockey players go to get another uniform?New Jersey
  86. What do you call a Canadian fight ring?A hockey game.
  87. Why was the ghostbuster signed to the hockey team?… He always gets ghouls.
  88. How do you know when a hockey player licked a lemon?… He puckers up.
  89. Which hockey player has the biggest skates?… The one with the biggest feet.
  90. Where is the best place to shop for hockey shirts?… New Jersey.
  91. Why didn’t Jason wear his hockey mask for Halloween?Because you don’t wear white after Labor Day.
  92. Why do Canadians always beat Germans at hockey?… Canadians bring their ‘eh’ game; Germans bring their wurst.
  93. What do you call a monkey who wins the Stanley Cup?… A chimpion.
  94. I Saw a Hockey Game in Canada…It was a-moose-ing.
  95. Why didn’t the lousy hockey team have a website?… They couldn’t string three W’s together.
  96. Why is Cinderella so bad at hockey?… She had a pumpkin for a coach. (Disney Jokes for Kids)
  97. What do you call a person who walks back and forth screaming one minute, then sits down weeping uncontrollably the next?… A hockey coach
  98. Why is the hockey rink hot after the game?… Because all the fans have left.