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Google Search “Hamburger Jokes” (Hamburger Jokes)

  1. Can you name two burgers who are royalty?… Sir Loin and Burger King!
  2. What do hamburger workers say on Monday morning?… Well, it’s back to the old grind! (Labor Day Jokes)
  3. Who was the burger’s favorite all-time movie director?… Sizzle B. DeMille! (Movie Jokes)
  4. Where can a burger get a great night’s sleep?… On a bed of lettuce! (Lettuce Jokes & Napping Jokes)
  5. Why are Wendy’s hamburgers square?… Because they don’t cut corners. (Geometry Jokes)
  6. What did Mr. and Mrs. Hamburger name their daughter?…. Patty.
  7. Did you hear about the hamburger patty who told funny jokes?… He was on a roll!
  8. When do hamburgers most enjoy watching TV?… During PRIME time!
  9. What kind of food truck serves hamburgers?… A patty wagon.
  10. Can a hamburger marry a hot dog?… Only if they have a very frank relationship! (Hot Dog Jokes)
  11. What do Alaskans order at McDonalds?… Icberg-ers with chili sauce. (Fast Food Jokes &Alaska Jokes)
  12. Who wins most of the medals for bravery in Burger Land?… The meatball heroes! (Meatball Jokes & Memorial Day Jokes)
  13. Where were hamburgers 1st made?… Greece. (World Geography Jokes & Geography Jokes for Kids)
  14. What is the hamburgers motto?… If at first you don’t succeed, fry, fry again! (365 Inspiring Quotes & Fast Food Jokes)
  15. When does a hamburger wear a look like a smile button?… When somebody says, “Well done!”
  16. Do they really serve burgers in Transylvania?… Very rare-ly. (Vampire Jokes)
  17. How did the jury find the hamburger?… Grill-ty as charred. (Police Jokes & Lawyer Jokes)
  18. Why do hamburgers feel sad at barbecues?… They get to meet their old flames! (Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  19. Why do hamburgers make good baseball players?… They re great at the plate! 
  20. What do snowmen eat for lunch?… Icebergers! (Snowman Jokes)
  21. Where does a burger go on vacation?… The Swiss (cheese) Alps or The Cheeseapeake Valley! (World Geography Jokes / Hiking Jokes/ Travel Guest Blogs)
  22. What great song is associated with hamburgers and baseball?… Steak Me Out to the Ballgame! (Baseball Jokes & Music Jokes)
  23. Why are hamburgers essential to football?… Because the game is played on a griddle-iron! (Football Jokes)
  24. Why aren’t burgers too good at basketball?… Too many turnovers! (Basketball Jokes)
  25. Why can any hamburger run the mile in under four minutes?… Because it’s a FAST food! (Track Jokes)
  26. What do you get when you cross a hamburger with a computer?… A big mac! (Computer Jokes for Kids)
  27. When can you count on a hamburger in an emergency?… When the chips are down!
  28. What do you call it when you help someone make a hamburger?… A co-whopperation.
  29. What did the hamburger say when it pleaded not guilty?… I’ve been flamed! (Police Jokes & Lawyer Jokes)
  30. What kind of a pitch did Sandy Koufax of the old Burger-lyn Dodgers have?… A fastball – a sizzler. (Baseball Jokes)
  31. What did the hamburger say to the pickle?… You’re dill-icious! (Pickle Jokes for Kids)
  32. How do gossipy hamburgers spend their time?… They chew the fat. 
  33. What do you call a pig thief?… A hamburglar! (Bacon Jokes for Kids / Police Jokes / Pig Jokes)
  34. Where do burgers like to dance?… At a meat ball! (Meatball Jokes)
  35. Why was the cheeseburger sad?… It had blue cheese! (Psychology Jokes & Cheese Jokes)
  36. If Burger King married Dairy Queen where would they live?… At White Castle! (Ice Cream Jokes for Kids)
  37. Where do the burgers go on New Year’s Eve?… To a meat ball! (New Year’s Eve Jokes)
  38. Why did the Hobbit get a job at Burger King?… He wanted to be “Lord of the Onion Rings.” (Book Jokes & Onion Jokes)
  39. How can you tell if a hamburger was grilled in space?… It’s a little meteor. (Astronomy Jokes)
  40. How far do burgers go in school?… Through cowlege (then they get their 450 degrees!). (College jokes)
  41. How does a burger acquire good taste?… With a little seasoning!
  42. How do we know that hamburgers love classic music?… They re often found at the Meatropolitan Opera House and Cownegie Hall! (Music jokes)
  43. How do you stop someone from stealing your grill?… With a burger alarm! (Police Jokes)
  44. Why do hamburgers go to the gym?… To get better buns. (Sports Joke for Kids)
  45. Did you read the book J.D. Salinger wrote about “phony” fast food?… It’s titled “Catcher in the Fries.” (Book Jokes & Fast Food Jokes)
  46. How does a pitcher walk a man in Burger King baseball League?… He throws four meatballs! (Baseball Jokes & Meatball Jokes)
  47. How do you make a hamburger laugh?… Pickle it! (Pickle Jokes for Kids)
  48. Which baseball team is currently the favorite with hamburger fans?… The Cincinnati Reds -because they’re the Big Bread Machine! 
  49. How do we know burgers love young people?… They re pro-teen!
  50. Which burgers love to act?… Ham-burgers!
  51. A man walks into a library and orders a hamburger. The librarian says, “This is a library.” The man apologizes and whispers, “I’d like a hamburger, please.” (Library Jokes)
  52. Why did the man climb to the roof of McDonalds?… The told him the meal was on the house! (Hiking Jokes)
  53. Why did Five Guys survive the flood?… It was built on solid ground beef.
  54. What famous movie did the hamburger meat think of when they took it out of the freezer?… They Fry Who Came in from the Cold!
  55. Who is the hamburgers favorite actress?… Candice Berger! (Movie Jokes)
  56. When do burgers quit their jobs?… The day they decide to meat LOAF!
  57. How do you insult a hamburger patty?… Call it a meatball. (Meatball Jokes)
  58. What are the best days of the week in Fast Food land?… Fry-day and Sundae! (Ice Cream Jokes for Kids & Fast Food Jokes)
  59. What do you call a Tom Cruise movie with a hamburger in it?… Top Bun. (Movie Jokes)
  60. In what school subjects does the teacher say, “Well done, hamburgers!”?… A wide range of subjects – meatyeval, history, meatematics and word grill.
  61. How was the hamburger murdered?… First it was rolled, then smothered in onions.
  62. What did the hamburger say when it found out that most people liked hamburgers better than frankfurters?… Hot dog! 
  63. What are some outstanding hamburger colleges?… Brandeis, Cowlifornia State, Hoofstra, Pen State, Ranchelaer Polytechnic, Burgereley and Moosouri! 
  64. What system do they teach in Hamburger High’s math courses?… The meatric system, silly!
  65. How do we know hamburgers have high IQ s?… They loin fast! 
  66. What is the hamburgers most familiar song?… Home on the Range! 
  67. How do they prevent crime in hamburger country?… With burger alarms! 
  68. What do you call a frozen hamburger?… A ham-brrr-ger.
  69. What kind of company is a 24 hours hamburger joint?… Fry-by-night!
  70. What happens when two burgers fall in love?… They live together in holy meatrimony! 
  71. Are hamburgers male?… Yes, because they re boygers, not girlgers!
  72. The hamburger sits down at the bar and asks the bartender “Hey can I get a beer?” The bartender replies “Sorry we don’t serve food here.” (Beer Jokes)
  73. Why do the hamburgers beat the hot dogs at every sport they play?… Because hot dogs are the wurst!
  74. Why do hamburgers make poor pigeons?… They won’t talk no matter how you grill them!
  75. What do burgers think when they are surrounded by gherkins?… They think they are in a pickle.
  76.  Is there a way to make a hamburger do the Hula?… Sure, order a burger and a shake! 
  77. What can you say about Ham Burger and Chief Justice Warren Burger?… Ham Burger is well done and Chief Justice Warren Burger has done well! 
  78. What do you use to determine if a refrigerated burger is cold enough?… A thermomeater! 
  79. What did the hamburgers say to the butcher who acted on a TV show?… Welcome back, Cutter! 
  80. What did they call it when NHL officials refused to allow a hamburger to play hockey in the league?… Rink injustice! 
  81. What did they do to the burger who thought he was a rooster?… Cook-a-doodle-do!
  82. What did they say about the burger who went skiing for the first time?… How the meaty have fallen! 
  83. What did they tell the burger who enlisted in the Army?… You’ve got no beef, soldier! (Memorial Day Jokes)
  84. What do some burger eaters have?… A Hardee appetite! 
  85. What do some people have against cheeseburgers? …They say, Burgers can’t be cheesy! 
  86. What do they call a meeting among the most brilliant people in Burger Land?… A MEATing of the minds!
  87. What do they say about the noise at the Burger Land Super Bowl?… It’s PAN-demonium!
  88. What old-time song is the burgers favorite?… Hammy – as sung by Al Jolson! Burger
  89. What song do burgers sing on the job?… Gristle While You Work!
  90. When the crooked hamburger took it on the lamb , where did it go?… Oh, ewe know!
  91. Where does a burger feel at home?… On the range! 
  92. Which burger is famous for a long nose?… Cyrano de Burgerac! 
  93.  Which burgers can tell your fortune?… Medium burgers! 
  94.  Which cheeseburger makes a big hit in baseball?… A double! 
  95. Which is the meat patties least favorite day of the week?… Fry-day! 
  96. Which meatballs get a little tipsy on occasion?… The POTTED ones! 
  97. Which of our meaty friends are into astrology?… Those that are born under the sign of the Ham! 
  98.  Which people do the burgers hate?… The ones who are always putting the bite on them! 
  99. Which political discussions between the Russians and Americans keenly interest Burger Land citizens?… The SALT talks! 
  100. Which type of comedy leaves a hamburger cold?… BITING humor! 
  101. Who are the hamburgers favorite people?… Vegetarians! 
  102. Who can beat any burger at golf?… Any LINKS sausage! 
  103. Who do hamburgers love on TV?… Archie Bunker’s son-in-law, the meathead! 
  104. Why did the pro football player from the last-place team drop pieces of hamburger into his soup?… He wanted to know how it felt to take part in a Soup-er Bowl! 
  105. Why do burgers laugh when you surround them with pickles?… Who knows – maybe they’re picklish! 
  106. Why do burgers run the gauntlet?… To test their meattle! 
  107. Why do hamburgers act brilliantly on stage?… They give meaty performances – especially if they are in their prime! 
  108. Why is President Carter important to Hamburger Land in April?… One the opening day of the baseball season, he throws out the first meatball!
  109. Why was the burger thrown out of the Army?… He couldn’t pass mustard! (muster) 
  110. Why were the burgers in the refrigerator embarrassed?… They saw the salad dressing!
  111. What do race horses eat?… Fast Food. (Horse Jokes / Horse Racing Jokes / Fast Food Jokes)
  112. How did the hamburger introduce his girlfriend to his parents?… Meet Patty.
  113. What did the cow say to the hamburger?… Chuck, not you too! (Cow Jokes)
  114. What do you call a male cow that eats hamburgers?… A cannibull. (Cow Jokes)
  115. How many vegans does it take to eat a hamburger?… Depends if anyone is looking. 
  116. Give a man a hamburger . . .you will feed him for a day. Lend a man a hamburger and he will gladly pay you Tuesday.  
  117. What did the Mongols put on their Hamburgers?… Khan-diments. (World Geography Jokes)  
  118. A lady with a dog comes and sits next to him. The dog starts whining seeing the hamburger. So the man asks the lady, “Do you mind if I throw him a bit?””Not at all” the lady replies, pleased. So the man got up and threw the dog over the park fence.
  119. Why does a 6 oz hamburger have less energy than a 6 oz steak?… Because the hamburger is in the ground state.
  120. I was about to eat my hamburger when an old lady approached me and beg me for food…I felt pity on her and gave her half of my burger. Turns out she was a Fairy Poof Fairy: because of your kindness i will grant you one wish. Me: Really? I want a brand new Ferrari! And there it was, 1/2 of a Ferrari.
  121. What’s the difference between new and old hamburger meat?… One is ground beef and the other is browned grief.
  122. ???
  123. Name two tennis stars who are famous in the hamburger world?… Bjorn Borger and Billie Jean-o’s Burger King!
  124. How do the Rolling Stones like their burgers?… Plain – Rolling Stones gather no moss-tard! (Music Jokes)
  125. What is a hamburger’s favorite story?… Hansel and Gristle!
  126. How can you tell which Burger Land baseball pitchers are left-handed?… They re the one’s wearing the left-handed meats!
  127. Do hamburgers make good vampires?… No, because they always find themselves in ghoulash situations! (Vampire Jokes)
  128. How are UFO’s related to hamburgers?… Both are Unidentified Frying Objects! (Fast)
  129. What kind of girl does a hamburger like?… Any girl named Patty!
  130. What kind of baseball do burgers play?… Ketchup baseball! 
  131. What do polar bears eat for lunch?… Ice berg-ers! (World Geography Jokes & Geography Jokes for Kids)
  132. It’s crazy to think that we have scientists that can make hamburgers out of plants. These possibilities are just…Beyond meat.
  133. How did the hamburger introduce his wife?… Meet patty! (Wedding Jokes)
  134. Which burgers are dishonest?… Cat-burgers! (burglars) 
  135. How do you make a hamburger smile?… Pickle it gently! 
  136. How does a pitcher walk a man in Burger Land baseball?… He throws four meatballs!
  137. How do you make a cheeseburger sad?… Make it with blue cheese! 
  138. How do you make a hamburger green?… Find a yellow cheeseburger and mix it with a blue one! 
  139. What’s the difference between water falling from the sky and hamburgers falling from the sky?… One of them is a meatier shower. (Astronomy Jokes)
  140. How do you make a hamburger laugh?… Pickle it gently.
  141. As I ate my hamburger I was told it’s mean to kill cows. What am I supposed to do, eat them alive?
  142. Is it proper to eat a hamburger with your fingers?… No, you should eat your fingers separately!
  143. Seriously, when the crooked hamburger took it on the 1am, where did it go?… Heidelburg-er, Germany
  144. How do you insult a hamburger patty?… Call it a meatball!
  145. A hotdog and a hamburger walk into a bar.. The bartender immediately tells them “I’m sorry but we don’t serve food here.”