Hamburger Jokes for Kids

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Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best hamburger jokes.
Can you name two burgers who are royalty?… Sir Loin and Burger King! (King Jokes & Top 50 Coronation Jokes)
Where were hamburgers 1st made?… Greece. (World Geography Jokes & Geography Jokes for Kids)
What did Mr. and Mrs. Hamburger name their daughter?…. Patty. (Baby Jokes)
What kind of food truck serves hamburgers?… A patty wagon. (Police Jokes)
Who was the burger’s favorite all-time movie director?… Sizzle B. DeMille! (Movie Jokes)
Where can a burger get a great night’s sleep?… On a bed of lettuce! (Lettuce Jokes & Napping Jokes)
Who should be the spokesperson for National Hamburger Day?… Deion PRIME time Sanders. (College Football Jokes)
Can a hamburger marry a hot dog?… Only if they have a very frank relationship! (Hot Dog Jokes)
When do hamburgers most enjoy watching TV?… During PRIME time!
What do you get when you cross a hamburger with a computer?… A Big Mac! (Computer Jokes for Kids)
Did you hear about the hamburger patty who told funny jokes?… He was on a roll!
Why should you always order a burger in the oldest neighborhood in New Orleans?… Because they serve the best French Quarter pounders!
What great song is associated with hamburgers and baseball?… Steak Me Out to the Ballgame! (Baseball Jokes & Music Jokes)
Why did the cheeseburger get into a fight with the veggie burger?… It had beef.
Who is a hamburger’s favorite football player of all-time?… Deion PRIME time Sanders. (College Football Jokes)
Do they really serve burgers in Transylvania?… Very rare-ly. (Vampire Jokes)
How did the jury find the hamburger?… Grill-ty as charred. (Police Jokes & Lawyer Jokes)
What is the hamburgers motto?… If at first you don’t succeed, fry, fry again! (365 Inspiring Quotes & Fast Food Jokes)
If Burger King married Dairy Queen where would they live?… At White Castle! (Ice Cream Jokes for Kids)
Who is a hamburger’s favorite football coach?… Coach PRIME (time)! (College Football Jokes)
Why aren’t burgers too good at basketball?… Too many turnovers! (Basketball Jokes)
Why do hamburgers make good baseball players?… They;re great at the plate! (Baseball Jokes)
Where does a burger go on vacation?… The Swiss (cheese) Alps or The Cheeseapeake Valley! (World Geography Jokes / Hiking Jokes/ Travel Guest Blogs)
Why can any hamburger run the mile in under four minutes?… Because it’s a FAST food! (Track Jokes)
What did the hamburger say when it pleaded not guilty?… I’ve been flamed! (Police Jokes & Lawyer Jokes)
What kind of a pitch did Sandy Koufax of the old Burger-lyn Dodgers have?… A fastball – a sizzler. (Baseball Jokes)
What does a bee get at McDonalds?… A humburger! (Bee Jokes)
How did the hamburger introduce his girlfriend to his parents?… Meet Patty.
What do hamburger workers say at the start of shift?… Well, it’s back to the old grind! (Labor Day Jokes)
How does a penguin cook burgers?… With his flippers. (Penguin Jokes)
What do you call it when you help someone make a hamburger?… A co-whopperation.
What did the hamburger say to the pickle?… You’re dill-icious! (Pickle Jokes for Kids)
Why was the cheeseburger sad?… It had blue cheese! (Psychology Jokes & Cheese Jokes)
Give a man a hamburger . . .you will feed him for a day. Lend a man a hamburger and he will gladly pay you Tuesday.
What did the Memorial Day cake say to the hamburger?… You look grilliant today!
How do gossipy hamburgers spend their time?… They chew the fat.
A man walks into a library and orders a hamburger. The librarian says, “This is a library.” The man apologizes and whispers, “I’d like a hamburger, please.” (Library Jokes)
What’s the difference between new and old hamburger meat?… One is ground beef and the other is browned grief.
Where do burgers like to dance?… At a meat ball! (Meatball Jokes)
A husband and wife were driving through the mountains. As they approached their campsite, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They continued to argue back and forth as they stopped for lunch. At the counter, the husband asked the blonde waitress, “Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are very slowly?” She leaned over the counter and said, “Burrr-gerrr Kiiing.” (Camping Jokes)
How do you insult a hamburger patty?… Call it a meatball. (Meatball Jokes)
What are some outstanding hamburger colleges?… Brandeis, Cowlifornia State, Hoofstra, Pen State, Ranchelaer Polytechnic, Burgereley and Moosouri!
Why are Wendy’s hamburgers square?… Because they don’t cut corners. (Geometry Jokes)
How did the french fry propose to the hamburger?… He gave her an onion ring!
What did the personal trainer tell the hamburger?… Work those buns.
What do frog princes like to eat with their hamburgers?… French flies.
Which burgers can tell your fortune?… Medium burgers.
Why did the Hobbit get a job at Burger King?… He wanted to be “Lord of the Onion Rings.” (Book Jokes & Onion Jokes)
What do ghosts serve on Memorial Day?… Grave-y Burgers! (Ghost Jokes & Hamburger Jokes)
How does a pitcher walk a man in Burger King baseball League?… He throws four meatballs! (Baseball Jokes & Meatball Jokes)
Which baseball team is currently the favorite with hamburger fans?… The Cincinnati Reds -because they’re the Big Bread Machine!
Why do hamburgers feel sad at barbecues?… They get to meet their old flames! (Valentine’s Day Jokes)
What system do they teach in Hamburger High’s math courses?… The meatric system, silly!
What do you call a Tom Cruise movie with a hamburger in it?… Top Bun. (Movie Jokes)
How does a burger acquire good taste?… With a little seasoning!
What do skiers eat for lunch?… Icebergers. (Skiing Jokes)
What do you call a pig thief?… A hamburglar! (Bacon Jokes for Kids / Police Jokes / Pig Jokes)
What does Frosty like to put on his icebergers?… Chilly sauce! (Frosty the Snowman Jokes)
How was the hamburger murdered?… First it was rolled, then smothered in onions.
Which cheeseburger makes a big hit in baseball?… A double!
When do burgers quit their jobs?… The day they decide to meat LOAF!
What did the hamburger say when it found out that most people liked hamburgers better than frankfurters?… Hot dog!
What is the hamburgers most familiar song?… Home on the Range!
Why did Five Guys survive the flood?… It was built on solid ground beef.
In what school subjects does the teacher say, “Well done, hamburgers!”?… A wide range of subjects – meatyeval, history, meatematics and word grill.
Where do all the hamburgers take their girlfriend on Valentine’s Day?… To a meatball. (Funny Valentine’s Day Jokes)
Who are the hamburgers favorite people?… Vegetarians!
How many vegans does it take to eat a hamburger?… Depends if anyone is looking.
What kind of company is a 24 hours hamburger joint?… Fry-by-night!
Did you read the book J.D. Salinger wrote about “phony” fast food?… It’s titled “Catcher in the Fries.” (Book Jokes & Fast Food Jokes)
How do we know burgers love young people?…They’re pro-teen!
What do you call a frozen hamburger?… A ham-brrr-ger.
Why did the man climb to the roof of McDonalds?… The manager told him the meal was on the house! (Hiking Jokes)
The hamburger sits down at the bar and asks the bartender “Hey can I get a beer?” The bartender replies “Sorry we don’t serve food here.” (Beer Jokes)
Which burgers love to act?… Ham-burgers!
How do we know that hamburgers love classic music?… They re often found at the Meatropolitan Opera House and Cownegie Hall! (Music jokes)
What did the flip flop say at the barbecue?… I’m just here to flip some burgers!
What famous movie did the hamburger meat think of when they took it out of the freezer?… They Fry Who Came in from the Cold!
When does a hamburger wear a look like a smile button?… When somebody says, “Well done!”
Who do hamburgers love on TV?… Archie Bunker’s son-in-law, the meathead!
Who is the hamburgers favorite actress?… Candice Berger! (Movie Jokes)
How do you make a hamburger laugh?… Pickle it! (Pickle Jokes for Kids)
Why were the leftover burgers in the refrigerator embarrassed?… They saw the salad dressing!
When can you count on a hamburger in an emergency?… When the chips are down!
What is an angry polar bear’s favorite food?… A “brrr” “grrr”! (Bear Jokes)
Why do hamburgers go to the gym?… To get better buns. (Sports Joke for Kids)
What do you call a hamburger covered in beads?… A French Quarter pounder. (Mardi Gras Jokes)
What do Alaskans order at McDonalds?… Icberg-ers with chili sauce. (Fast Food Jokes &Alaska Jokes)
Who wins most of the medals for bravery in Burger Land?… The meatball heroes! (Meatball Jokes & Memorial Day Jokes)
Why was the burger thrown out of the Army?… He couldn’t pass mustard! (muster)
What song do burgers sing on the job?… Gristle While You Work!
What happens when two burgers fall in love?… They live together in holy meatrimony!
How do we know hamburgers have high IQ s?… They loin fast!
Who can beat any burger at golf?… Any LINKS sausage!
How far do burgers go in school?… Through cowlege (then they get their 450 degrees!). (College jokes)
What do some burger eaters have?… A Hardee appetite!
What do snowmen eat for lunch?… Icebergers! (Snowman Jokes)
How do you stop someone from stealing your grill?… With a burger alarm! (Police Jokes)
Why are hamburgers essential to football?… Because the game is played on a griddle-iron! (Football Jokes)
What do hamburger workers say on Monday morning?… Well, it’s back to the old grind! (Labor Day Jokes)
What do students eat for lunch on a snow day?… Icebergers. (Snow Day Jokes)
What is an angry polar bear’s favorite food?… A “brrr” “grrr”! (Bear Jokes & Hamburger Jokes)
What food do you get when you cross Frosty with a polar bear?… A “brrr” – “grrr”! (Frosty the Snowman Jokes)
What do penguins eat for lunch?… Ice-burgers! (Penguin Jokes)
What do Eskimo hockey players eat?… Ice bergers. (Hockey Jokes)
Are hamburgers male?… Yes, because they’re boygers, not girlgers!
What are the best days of the week in Fast Food land?… Fry-day and Sundae! (Ice Cream Jokes for Kids & Fast Food Jokes)
What can you say about Ham Burger and Chief Justice Warren Burger?… Ham Burger is well done and Chief Justice Warren Burger has done well!
It’s crazy to think that we have scientists that can make hamburgers out of plants. These possibilities are just…Beyond meat.
What did the patriotic burger name its baby?… Patty-otic! (4th of July Jokes)
What did the hamburgers say to the butcher who acted on a TV show?… Welcome back, Cutter!
Why do hamburgers act brilliantly on stage?… They give meaty performances – especially if they are in their prime!
What did the hamburger say to the hotdog on Memorial Day?… Let’s ketchup and relish this holiday!
How do you make a cheeseburger sad?… Make it with blue cheese!
What kind of baseball do burgers play?… Ketchup baseball!
I was about to eat my hamburger when an old lady approached me and beg me for food…I felt pity on her and gave her half of my burger. Turns out she was a Fairy Poof Fairy: because of your kindness i will grant you one wish. Me: Really? I want a brand new Ferrari! And there it was, 1/2 of a Ferrari.
A lady with a dog comes and sits next to him. The dog starts whining seeing the hamburger. So the man asks the lady, “Do you mind if I throw him a bit?””Not at all” the lady replies, pleased. So the man got up and threw the dog over the park fence.
What do they call a meeting among the most brilliant people in Burger Land?… A MEATing of the minds!
Why do burgers run the gauntlet?… To test their meattle!
What do you use to determine if a refrigerated burger is cold enough?… A thermomeater!
Why do the hamburgers beat the hot dogs at every sport they play?… Because hot dogs are the wurst!
How do they prevent crime in hamburger country?… With burger alarms!
Where do the burgers go on New Year’s Eve?… To a meat ball! (New Year’s Eve Jokes)
How can you tell if a hamburger was grilled in space?… It’s a little meteor. (Astronomy Jokes)
How does a cheeseburger acquire good taste?… With a little seasoning!
What do they say about the noise at the Burger Land Super Bowl?… It’s PAN-demonium!
Which burger is famous for a long nose?… Cyrano de Burgerac!
Which political discussions between the Russians and Americans keenly interest Burger Land citizens?… The SALT talks!
Why does a 6 oz hamburger have less energy than a 6 oz steak?… Because the hamburger is in the ground state.
What did the Mongols put on their Hamburgers?… Khan-diments. (World Geography Jokes)
Why do hamburgers make poor snitches?… They won’t talk no matter how you grill them!
What do burgers think when they are surrounded by gherkins?… They think they are in a pickle.
Is there a way to make a hamburger do the Hula?… Sure, order a burger and a shake!
What did they call it when NHL officials refused to allow a hamburger to play hockey in the league?… Rink injustice!
What did they do to the burger who thought he was a rooster?… Cook-a-doodle-do!
What did they say about the burger who went skiing for the first time?… How the meaty have fallen!
What did they tell the burger who enlisted in the Army?… You’ve got no beef, soldier! (Memorial Day Jokes)
What do some people have against cheeseburgers? …They say, Burgers can’t be cheesy!
What old-time song is the burgers favorite?… Hammy – as sung by Al Jolson! Burger
When the crooked hamburger took it on the lamb , where did it go?… Oh, ewe know!
Where does a burger feel at home?… On the range!
How did the hamburger introduce his wife?… Meet patty! (Wedding Jokes)
Which type of comedy leaves a hamburger cold?… BITING humor!
Which burgers can tell your fortune?… Medium burgers!
What is a hamburger’s favorite story?… Hansel and Gristle!
What do you call a male cow that eats hamburgers?… A cannibull. (Cow Jokes)
What do race horses eat?… Fast Food. (Horse Jokes / Horse Racing Jokes / Fast Food Jokes)
Which is the meat patties least favorite day of the week?… Fry-day!
Which meatballs get a little tipsy on occasion?… The POTTED ones!
As I ate my hamburger I was told it’s mean to kill cows. What am I supposed to do, eat them alive?
Which of our meaty friends are into astrology?… Those that are born under the sign of the Ham!
Which people do the burgers hate?… The ones who are always putting the bite on them!
Why did the pro football player from the last-place team drop pieces of hamburger into his soup?… He wanted to know how it felt to take part in a Soup-er Bowl!
Why do burgers laugh when you surround them with pickles?… Who knows – maybe they’re picklish!
What kind of girl does a hamburger like?… Any girl named Patty!
Why is President Carter important to Hamburger Land in April?… One the opening day of the baseball season, he throws out the first meatball!
What’s the difference between water falling from the sky and hamburgers falling from the sky?… One of them is a meatier shower. (Astronomy Jokes)
Why were the burgers in the refrigerator embarrassed?… They saw the salad dressing!
What did the cow say to the hamburger?… Chuck, not you too! (Cow Jokes
How do the Rolling Stones like their burgers?… Plain – Rolling Stones gather no moss-tard! (Music Jokes.
Name two tennis stars who are famous in the hamburger world?… Bjorn Borger and Billie Jean-o’s Burger King!
How can you tell which Burger Land baseball pitchers are left-handed?… They re the one’s wearing the left-handed meats!
Do hamburgers make good vampires?… No, because they always find themselves in ghoulash situations! (Vampire Jokes)
How are UFO’s related to hamburgers?… Both are Unidentified Frying Objects! (Fast)
What do polar bears eat for lunch?… Ice berg-ers! (World Geography Jokes & Geography Jokes for Kids)
Which burgers are dishonest?… Cat-burgers! (burglars)
How do you make a hamburger smile?… Pickle it gently!
How does a pitcher walk a man in Burger Land baseball?… He throws four meatballs!
How do you make a hamburger green?… Find a yellow cheeseburger and mix it with a blue one!
How do you make a hamburger laugh?… Pickle it gently.
Is it proper to eat a hamburger with your fingers?… No, you should eat your fingers separately!
Seriously, when the crooked hamburger took it on the 1am, where did it go?… Heidelburg-er, Germany
How do you insult a hamburger patty?… Call it a meatball!
A hotdog and a hamburger walk into a bar.. The bartender immediately tells them “I’m sorry but we don’t serve food here.”
Why was the vegan rejected for a job at the burger joint?… Because she didn’t meat the requirements.
What do you call a vegan burger?.. A misteak.
What do you get when you cross a hamburger with a computer?.. A big mac.
What do you call a cheeseburger at the playground? A slider.
What type of burger isn’t allowed on the Titanic? An iceburger. 7. What is a snowman’s favorite lunch? An Iceberger!
How do you make a hamburger laugh? Pickle it!
What do you call two burger buns that came out of the oven stuck to each other? Sesamese twins.
What do you call a male cow that eats hamburgers? A cannibull.
Why shouldn’t you buy a hamburger in Athens? Because it is way too Greecey.
Why do hamburgers make good baseball players? They’re great at the plate!
How did the hamburger introduce his wife? Meat patty.
What do you call a frozen hamburger? A ham-brrr-ger. 15. What do you call a hamburger on a motorcycle? Fast food.
How do you stop someone from stealing your grill? With a burger alarm!
Why can any hamburger run the mile in under four minutes? Because it’s a FAST food!
What does a magical burger say? Open sesame.
What is a burger’s favorite day? Fry-day.
Did you hear about the spy undercover making burgers in the park? He had a license to grill.
Where do hamburgers go to dance? They go to the meat-ball.
Is there a way to make a hamburger do the Hula? Sure, order a burger and a shake!
Why did the space rock eat the hamburger? It wanted to be a meteor.
What did the gym coach tell the hamburger? Work those buns.
What do bees order at McDonald’s? Hamburgers.
What do hamburgers take their sweethearts on Valentine’s Day to dance? The Meat Ball!
Why do hamburgers make good baseball players? They’re great at the plate.
What did the hamburger say to the hot dog? You’re on a roll.
What’s the difference between water falling from the sky and hamburgers falling from the sky? One of them is a meatier shower.
If Londoners are what you call people from London and New Yorkers are what you call people from New York, what are Hamburgers? Delicious!
Which burgers can tell your fortune? Medium burgers.
A hamburger walks into a bar. The bartender says “sorry, we don’t serve food here.”
What did the hamburger say to the hot dog? You’re on a roll.
What did the hamburger say to the hot dog? You’re on a roll.
What do you call a Tom Cruise movie with a hamburger in it? Top Bun.
Why does a 6 oz hamburger have less energy than a 6 oz steak? Because the hamburger is in the ground state.
What do hamburgers make good at basketball? Too many turnovers!
What did the new restaurant’s Pelican Burger serve? Good food, but the bill was enormous.
Why did the woman decide not to date the man who took pickles from his burger and cut them in half? Because it was a dill breaker.
Where do all the bad hamburger buns live? In the seedy part of town.

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