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January / Top 10 January Jokes

  1. Winnie the Pooh Quotes:
  1. “If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.” A.A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh
  2. “Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. “Pooh?” he whispered. “Yes, Piglet?” “Nothing,” said Piglet, taking Pooh’s hand. “I just wanted to be sure of you.”A.A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh
  3. “We’ll be Friends Forever, won’t we, Pooh?” asked Piglet.”Even longer,” Pooh answered. A.A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh
  4. “I don’t feel very much like Pooh today,” said Pooh. “There there,” said Piglet. “I’ll bring you tea and honey until you do.” A.A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh
  5. “Some people care too much. I think it’s called love.” A.A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh
  6. “I think we dream so we don’t have to be apart for so long. If we’re in each other’s dreams, we can be together all the time.” A.A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh
  7. “You can’t stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.” A.A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh
  8. “It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn’t use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like “What about lunch?” A.A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh
  9. “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” A.A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh
  10. “Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.” A.A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh
  11. Martin Luther King Quotes: “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” Martin Luther King Jr. “Letter from Birmingham Jail,” 16 April 1963
  12. “Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy to a friend.” Martin Luther King Jr.
  13. “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” Martin Luther King Jr.
  14. “The time is always right to do the right thing.” Martin Luther King Jr.
  15. “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” Martin Luther King Jr. Strength to Love (1963)“
  16. “Intelligence plus character – that is the goal of true education.” Martin Luther King Jr.
  17. “If a man hasn’t discovered something he will die for, he isn’t fit to live.” Speech in Detroit, Michigan on June 23, 1963
  18. “Life’s most persistent and urgent questions is, ‘What are you doing for others?’” Martin Luther King Jr.
  19. “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” Martin Luther King Jr.
  20. “This is why right temporarily defeated is stronger than evil triumphant.” Martin Luther King Jr. Nobel Prize Acceptance Speech, December 10, 1964

May / Top 10 May Jokes

  1. “Believe only half of what you see and nothing that you hear.” Dinah Mulock Craik
  2. “Act as though it were impossible to fail.”
  3. “Each man is a hero and an oracle to somebody.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
  4. May 25th: Memorial Day: “All gave some. Some gave all.” (Memorial Day Quotes)
  5. “Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and the success of liberty.” John F. Kennedy
  6. “The purpose of all war is peace.” Saint Augustine

June/ Top 10 June Jokes

December

  1. “People rarely succeed at anything unless they are having fun doing it.” Southwest Airlines company mission statement
  2. “Do all things with love.” Og Mandino
  3.  “I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do.”  Helen Keller
  4. “The moment you have in your heart this extra-ordinary thing called love and feel the depth, the delight, the ecstacy of it, you will discover that for you the world is transformed.” J. Krishnamurthy
  5. “We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” Winston Churchill
  6. “A ship in a harbor is safe, but that’s not what ships are built for.”
  7. “Where there is love, there is life.” Mohandas Gandhi
  8. “You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have really lived, are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love.” Henry Drummond
  9. “The mind, like a parachute, functions only when opened.”
  10. “The secret to life is to know who you are and where you are going.”
  11. “Treasure the love you receive above all. It will survive long after your good health has vanished.” Og Mandino
  12. “To accomplish great things we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.” Anatole France
  13. “Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.” Euripides
  14. “While faith makes all things possible, it is love that makes all things easy.” Evan H. Hopkins
  15. “We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life when all we need to make us really happy is something to be enthusiastic about.” Charles Kingsley
  16. “If you really do put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise the price.” Anonymous
  17. “Trust in God. Believe in yourself. Dare to dream.” Robert Schuller
  18. “Good, better, best. Never let it rest Until your good is better and your better is best.” Tim Duncan
  19. “Good intentions are no substitute for action; failure usually follows the path of least persistence.” William James
  20. “Love is life… and if you miss love, you miss life.” Leo Buscaglia
  21. “Purpose is what gives life meaning.” Charles H. Perkhurst
  22. “Never  let a difficulty stop you; it may be only sand on your track to prevent your skidding.” Unknown
  23. “Cooperation is spelled with two letters – WE.” George Veity
  24. “Be wiser than other people if you can; but do not tell them so.” Lord Chesterfield
  25. “A journey of 1,000 miles starts with a single step.” Chinese Proverb
  26. “Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important.”  Janet Lane
  27. “People can alter their lives by altering their attitudes.” William James
  28. “I don’t think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday.” Abraham Lincoln
  29. “The world is full of beauty when your heart is filled with love.” Unknown
  30. “Opportunities are disguised by hard work, so most people don’t recognize them.” Ann Landers
  31. “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.” Reinhold Niebuhr

November

  1. “Most people give up when they are just about to achieve success. They quit on the one yard line. They give up at the last minute of the game one foot from a winning touchdown.” H. Ross Perot
  2. “All great achievements require time.” David Joseph Schwartz
  3. “It is the constant and determined effort that breaks down all resistance, sweeps away all obstacles.” Claude M. Bristol
  4. “The customer is our final inspector.” Unknown
  5. “As human beings, we are endowed with the freedom of choice, and we cannot shuffle off our responsibility upon the shoulder of God or nature. We must shoulder it ourselves. It is up to us.” Arnold J.Toynbee
  6. “A man carries his success or failure with him… it does not depend on outside conditions.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
  7. “Not in time, place, or circumstance, but in man lies success…” Charles B. Rouss
  8. “Remember, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Eleanor Roosevelt
  9. “There are always two choices, two paths to take. One is easy. And its only reward is that it’s easy.” Unknown
  10. “Don’t compromise yourself. You are all you’ve got.” Betty Ford
  11. “I cannot change yesterday. I can only make the most of today, and look with hope toward tomorrow.” Unknown
  12. “Courage is the price that life exacts for granting peace.” Amelia Earhart
  13. “When you cease to make a contribution you begin to die.” Eleanor Roosevelt
  14. “Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.” George Bernard Shaw
  15. “The smallest deed is greater that the grandest intention.” Patti Labelle
  16. “Aerodynamically the bumble bee shouldn’t be able to fly, but the bumble bee doesn’t know it so it goes on flying anyway.” Mary Kay Ash
  17. “After the verb “to love,” “to help” is the most beautiful verb in the world.” Bertha Von Suttner
  18. “Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.” James Barrie
  19. “Patience is bitter but its fruit is sweet.” Jean-Jacques Rousseau
  20. “You have to accept whatever comes and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage and with the best you have to give.” Eleanor Roosevelt
  21. “Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of traveling.” Margaret Lee Runbeck
  22. “Use the talents you possess; for the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except the best.” Henry Van Dyke
  23. “It is not fair to ask of others what you are not willing to do yourself.” Eleanor Roosevelt
  24. “Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln
  25. “We are not interested in the possibilities of defeat.” Queen Victoria
  26. “Happiness is not the absence of conflict but the ability to cope with it.”

October

  1. “Life without love is like a tree without blossom and fruit.” Kahlil Gibran
  2. “The more sand that has escaped from the hourglass of our life, the clearer we should see through it.” Jean Paul
  3. “He who has health, has hope; and he who has hope, has everything.” Arabian Proverb
  4. “He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much.” “Bessie” Anderson Stanley
  5. “Waste of time is the most extravagant and costly of all expenses.” Theophrastus
  6. “Your only obligation in any lifetime is to be true to yourself.” Richard Bach
  7. “Once you have learned to love, you will have learned to live.” Anonymous
  8. “Let each day be your masterpiece.” John Wooden
  9. “The rewards for those who persevere far exceed the pain that must precede victory.” Ted Engstrom
  10. “Few things are impossible to diligence and skill… great works are performed not by strength, but perseverance.” Samuel Johnson
  11. “Make the mistakes of yesterday your lessons for today.” Unknown
  12. “When you’re out of quality, you are out of business.” Anonymous
  13. “One hundred years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove…  but the world may be different because, I was important in the life of a child.” Forest E. Witcraft
  14. “I spoke with an elderly Japanese assembly worker who found our concept of ‘plus-or-minus’ bewildering. He humbly explained that his sole tolerance was perfection. Carole O’Reilly
  15. “In helping others, we shall help ourselves, for whatever good we give out completes the circle and comes back to us.” Hora Edwards
  16. “Success on any major scale requires you to accept responsibility… in the final analysis, the one quality that all successful people have… is the ability to take on responsibility.” Michael Korda
  17. “I was taught very early that I would have to depend entirely on myself; that my future lay in my own hands.” Darius Ogden Mills
  18. “There is a kind of elevation which does not depend on fortune; it is a certain air which distinguishes us, and seems to destine us for great things; it is a price which is imperceptibly set upon ourselves.” Francois De La Rochefoucauld
  19. “Never forget that life can only be nobly inspired and rightly lived it you take it bravely and gallantly, as a splendid adventure in which you are setting out into an unknown country, to face many a danger, to meet many a joy, to find many a comrade, to win and lose many a battle.” Annie Besant
  20. “Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself.” Henry Ward Beecher
  21. “Nothing happens by itself… it all will come your way, once you understand that you have to make it come your way, by your own exertions.” Ben Stein
  22. “Life will always be to a large extent what we ourselves make it.” Samuel Smiles
  23. “Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising every time we fail.” Confucius
  24. “History has demonstrated that the most notable winners usually encountered heartbreaking obstacles before they triumphed. They won because they refused to become discouraged by their defeats.” B.C. Forbes
  25. “If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will get you there.” Unknown
  26. “Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go.” William Feather
  27. “Effort only fully releases its reward after a person refuses to quit.” Napoleon Hill
  28. “If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew    To serve your turn long after they are gone,And so hold on when there is nothing in you    Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’” Rudyard Kipling
  29. “To endure is greater than to dare; to tire out hostile fortune; to be daunted by no difficulty; to keep heart when all have lost it; to go through intrigue spotless; to forgo even ambition when the end is gained – who can say this is not greatness?” William Makepeace Thackeray
  30. “Do not worry about whether or not the sun will rise. Be prepared to enjoy it.” Unknown
  31. “Remember when life’s path is steep to keep your mind even.” Horace

September

  1. “A man’s dreams are an index to his greatness.”  Zadok Rabinwitz
  2. “For imagination sets the goal “picture” which our automatic mechanism works on. We act, or fail to act, not because of “will,” as is so commonly believed, but because of imagination.”
  3. “Life is like riding a bicycle. You don’t fall off unless you stop pedaling.” Claude Pepper
  4. “The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.” Winston Churchill
  5. “Failure is only the opportunity to more intelligently begin again.” Henry Ford
  6. “The person who pays an ounce of principle for a pound of popularity gets badly cheated.” Ronald Regan