Skiing Jokes

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Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best jokes about skiing.
If you are going to try cross-country skiing… start with a small country. (Geography Jokes)
What is a great U2 song for skiing?… Put on Your Boots. (365 Music Jokes)
Say what you want about skiing… ..but the sport is going downhill, FAST!
Daughter: “Dad, why is my sister called Summer?”
Dad: “Because your mother loves the summer.”
Daughter: “Thanks, dad. I love you.”
Dad: “I love you too, Fresh Pow.”
Ski Pun: I’m going down this hill like there’s snow tomorrow. (Ski Puns & Snow Jokes)
What do you call a slow skier?… A slopepoke!
Ski Pun: Why wait until spring to go skiing?… There’s snow time like the present! (Ski Puns)
I was at a ski resort for a psychiatry convention… I’ve never seen so many Freudians slips. (Psychology Jokes)
What is the #1 song for ski instructors?… Turn, Turn, Turn by the Byrds. (365 Music Jokes)
For those in the snow… skiing can be pretty easy. (Ski Puns & Snow Jokes)
Ski Pun: I’m taking it ice and easy… it’s on my first time skiing. (Ski Puns)
Ski Pun: Don’t get into skiing… It’s a slippery slope. (Ski Puns)
During ski season… I try to keep a low snow profile. (Ski Puns)
Somebody asked me recently why I took up downhill skiing… I told them uphill skiing was far too difficult.
Skier: Why do I feel so good when my life and all my friends are going downhill?
What do skiers use to correct their mistakes?… Whiteout. (Snow Jokes)
Where does a skier keep his money?… In a snow bank. (Snow Jokes)
I snow full well my skiing skills have a long way to go. (Ski Puns)
No matter what happens when skiing… the snow must go on. (Ski Puns & Snow Jokes)
How many ski instructors does it take to change a light bulb?… 2, one to change the bulb and one to say “Nice turn, nice turn!”
Ski Pun: Out on the slopes in the morning… it’s frost come, frost served. (Ski Puns)
I was passing gym class with flying colors until we got to the skiing unit… It was downhill from there. (180 School Jokes)
Which movie is a favorite of downhill skiers?… “The Little Mermaid” because it has Aerial in it. (Disney Jokes & Movie Jokes)
Ski Pun: I used to be a professional skier… It just went downhill from there. (Labor Day Jokes)
I broke up with my wife on a ski trip… Our relationship was going downhill. (Divorce Jokes)
What do skiers like most about school?… Snow and tell. (180 School Jokes)
Ski Pun: Old skiers go downhill fast. (Ski Puns & Retirement Jokes)
Ski Pun: Ski you later. (Ski Puns)
I didn’t realize how good I would be at going down the slopes… I thought I had peaked when I rode the chairlift.
Ski Pun: Every snow often I like to go skiing. (Ski Puns)
Ski Pun: Ski lifts always chair me up. (Ski Puns)
When you are as fast and as experienced a skier as me, the snow conditions can really make a difference… I always say with great powder comes great responsibility. (Snow Jokes & Spiderman Jokes)
Ski Pun: I figured out why ski resorts are so funny… They’re hillareas. (Travel Guest Blogs)
I retired from skiing… My skills were just going downhill. (Retirement Jokes)
Why did the stock broker go to the ski resort?… He wanted to meet moguls.
Some guy I know from school just brushed past me without a skiing jacket on… I think he was giving me the cold shoulder.
I recently got very addicted to skiing… My doctor told me I’m going down a slippery slope. (Doctor Jokes)
To ski or not to ski… that’s a no-brainer.
Ski Pun: A novice skier often jumps to contusions. (Ski Puns)
After a long day out skiing, I want to go to a snowball so I can dance like snowbody’s watching. (Dance Jokes)
How does a skier get to work?… By icicle. (Bike Jokes)
I wasn’t meant to be going on the skiing trip with my parents but I hid in the back of the car… When we arrived they called me the snowaway.
Why did the skier only wear one boot?… He heard there would be a 50% chance of snow.
What kind of dances do skiers go to?… Snowballs. (Dance Jokes)
Ski Pun: Okay, so there’s a beginners slope here, there’s intermediate there, there and there, and snow on and snow forth. (Ski Puns)
When I went to France to learn how to ski… I even needed Alp getting on the chairlift.
What do you get when you cross a skier and a vampire?… Frostbite. (Vampire Jokes)
My friend had his birthday out on the slopes during our skiing trip… so we all sang ‘Freeze a jolly good fellow!’ (Birthday Jokes)
What is a skiers favorite type of candy?… Snow caps. (Candy Jokes)
What do skiers eat for breakfast?… Frosted Flakes. (Cereal Jokes)
Why should you always invite a skier to Thanksgiving dinner?… They’re great at carving. (Thanksgiving Jokes)
The skiing trip started well but after I lost my glove at the top of one of the slopes.. it was downhill from there. (Travel Guest Blogs)
My local ski resort was ripped off last week for around $900… The robber stole a burger, two beers, and some chips.
Skiing Pick-up Line: I can’t take my ice off you! (Ski Puns)
If you aren’t cracking a smile while skiing on the mountain… then you need to have a little change in altitude!
Ski Pun: I am a snowboarder at heart… going skiing is an absolute last resort! (Ski Puns)
Ski Pun: I’m never board, because I always ski. (Ski Puns)
Alpine for the slopes once I am back home. (Ski Puns)
I was easily sled in the wrong direction when I was younger… but now I snow where to go myself. (Snow Jokes)
What is a Colorado clouds favorite drink?… Mountain Dew. (Colorado Jokes & Skiing Jokes)
What do skiers eat for lunch?… Icebergers. (Hamburger Jokes)
What’s the difference between a ski instructor and a mutual fund?… Eventually the fund will mature and make a little money!
I need everyone to wish me luck. I have a meeting at the bank later and if all goes well, I will be out of debt… I’m so excited I can barely put on my ski mask. (Police Jokes)
Ski Pun: I have to take care of my mental well-skiing. (Ski Puns & Psychology Jokes)
Ski Pun: I have only been skiing once or ice before. (Ski Puns)
Ski Pun: I am snowboard of all the skiers in this resort. (Ski Puns)
Ski Pun: My local ski slopes are looking for winterns to make tea. (Ski Puns & Tea Jokes)
Did you hear about the man who lost his left arm and leg in a skiing accident?… He ended up being all right.
A friend and I got into a fight on a ski lift… It was an uphill battle.
I am getting snow board of mountains… please may we stop skiing.
Ski Pun: I’d like to ski across the whole white world. (Ski Puns)
Why was Cinderella such a bad alpine skier?… Her ski coach was a pumpkin. (Cinderella Jokes)
How do snowboarders introduce themselves?… “Sorry dude”
I thought taking a job as a ski instructor would be great… But it really went downhill fast. (Labor Day Jokes)
Financial tip: Don’t invest in skiing companies… The entire sport is going downhill fast.
What happened when an icicle landed on the skiers head?… It knocked him out cold.
I had been feeling quite down for the beginning of the skiing trip, all until I got to the top of the run… It was just the lift I needed!
Ski Pun: When I make new friends on the ski slopes I say, “Ice to meet you.” (Ski Puns)
What do you call the heels on ski boots? … Ski lifts.
How do you know when a ski instructor walks into the room?… Don’t worry, he’ll tell you.
What did the Austrian skier yell when he sprained his ankle?… Alp! (Skiing Jokes)
How can you make a small fortune teaching skiing?… Start with a big one!
We want better snow!… Powder to the people! (Snow Jokes)
What do skiers get from sitting on the snow too long?… Polaroids.(Snow Jokes)
How many ski instructors does it take to change a light bulb?… A dozen. One to unscrew the bulb and the rest to analyze the turns.
Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about skiing?
What’s the difference between a ski bum and a pizza pie?… The pizza can actually feed a family of four. (Pizza Jokes)
What did one skier say to the other?… Alpine for you when you’re gone. (Skiing Jokes)
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good skiing knock-knock joke?
I was skiing so fast down the slopes and crashed into a drift at the bottom… It was a total whiteout!
I warned him about starting his own ski resort… It’s a slippery slope. (Skiing Jokes)
I went skiing yesterday. It was fun but I broke arm… I guess skiing has its downsides. (Doctor Jokes)
What does a blind man use to ski?… A skiing eye dog. (Dog Jokes)
Ski Pun: Frost impressions matter out on the slopes! (Ski Puns)
Why did the dairy farmer move to a ski area?… He heard that skiers do milk runs. (Milk Jokes & Farming Jokes)
Why aren’t skiers fun to be around when they’re going up a mountain on a lift?… Because they’re always looking down on you.
What do you call three Russians skiing down a small hill?… A Triple Low Ski.(World Geography Jokes)
What do you call a monkey who wins an Olympic gold medal for downhill skiing?… A chimpion.
Why did the skier always expect the worst when he reached the top of the mountain?… She knew it was all downhill from there…
How do Jewish skiers greet each other?… Slalom.
What is a beer enthusiast’s favorite kind of skis?… Brew-skies!! (Beer Jokes)
What is a skiers favorite game?… Ice Spy with my little eye…
Why are scrambled eggs like a losing alpine skier?… Because they’ve both been beaten. (Egg Jokes)
Knock Knock…Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good skiing knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
After I did my first ski jump my dad patted me on the back and said “I glove you.” (Dad Jokes)
Why shouldn’t you let somebody who just got out of rehab go skiing?… Because it’s a slippery slope.
Why was the skier taken to the hospital?… He hurt his ski bum. (Doctor Jokes)
“You know what Telemarking means in Norwegian?… “Wait for me!” (World Geography Jokes)
I broke up with my significant other on a ski trip… Our relationship was going downhill.
How many telemark skiers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?… Two. One to turn the build while the other says “nice turns brah!”
Why did the Ski Instructor want a divorce?… Because he thought his wife was a flake. (Divorce Jokes)
I broke up with my husband on a ski trip… Our relationship was going downhill. (Divorce Jokes)
How do you get a snowboarder off your porch?… Pay him for the pizza. (Pizza Jokes)
I broke up with my girlfriend on a ski trip… Our relationship was going downhill.
Why are mountains so funny?… Because they’re hill areas.
I broke up with my boyfriend on a ski trip… Our relationship was going downhill.
What do you call a ski bum who has broken up with his girlfriend?… Homeless!
Why are ski resports so funny?… Because they’re hill areas.
What do you call a ski bum who has broken up with her boyfriend?… Homeless!
What do skiers call their list of things they want to do in their lifetime?… Brain Bucket list.
Which skiers wear the biggest boots?… The one with the biggest feet!
What do ski repairmen eat their meals on?… Baseplates.
Why did the beginner skier go to the pet store?… He was told he needed salopettes.
How do skiers correct their typing mistakes?… White out!
Why did the farmer bring cattle to the ski mountain?… He heard it was the best place for steers.
Three snowboarders are riding in the back of a car. Who is driving?… The police. (Police Jokes)
What is the difference between God and a Ski School Instructor?… God doesn’t think he’s a Ski School instructor…
When skiing on the beginners slope… I am such a snow burn.
Why go to the beach?… I’d rather be by the ski-side.
Ski Pun: I made the switch to snowboard because I knew I was going down a slippery slope with skiing. (Ski Puns)
Ski Pun: Last time I went to the slopes was at Christmas… It really was the ski-son to be jolly. (Ski Puns)
As I got off the chairlift, I came to the realization that skiing is not for me… It all went downhill from there.
What is the difference between a ski instructor and a skiing student?… 3 days.

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