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September Jokes for Kids & Top 10 Jokes for Each Month

  1. What is a tree’s least favorite month?… Sep-timber!(Tree Jokes & Arbor Day Jokes)
  2. September 2nd Full Moon Jokes: Knock Knock!… Who’s there?… Candy!… Candy who?… Candy cow jump over the moon? (Cow Jokes & Candy Jokes)
  3. There’s a place where January comes after February and December comes before September It’s the dictionary! (Grammar Jokes & Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  4. What do you call a door to door bicycle salesman?… A Peddler! (Labor Day Jokes & Bike Jokes)
  5. September 5th: Top 10 National Pizza Day: Want to hear a joke about pizza?… Never mind, it’s too cheesy. (Cheese Jokes & Pizza Jokes for Kids)
  6. Read a Book Day: Today I stopped at this roadside stand that said “Lobster Tails: $2”.So I paid my $2 and the guy said, “Once upon a time there was this lobster… (Maine Jokes / Lobster Jokes / Book Jokes)
  7. September 7th: Labor Day Jokes: Father: Do you know, most people don’t have to work today, because it’s Labor Day. Son: If people are not working, shouldn’t we call today ‘No-Labor Day?’ (Father’s Day Jokes)
  8. My wife came home from work yesterday and was raging about her boss. She said to me, “I’m never going to work for that man again!”.   I asked her, “Why, what did he say to you?”  She said, “You’re fired.”
  9. Labor Day JokesDid you hear the joke about Labor Day?… It doesn’t work for me! (Labor Day Jokes)
  10. What did October say to August?… Wake me up when September ends! (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  11. My grandmother bakes cookies the fastest. It literally takes her nana-seconds. (Cookie Jokes)
  12. Why did grandma put wheels on her rocking chair?… She wanted to rock ‘n’ roll! (Music Jokes)
  13. September 13th:
  14. Top 10 Grandparents Day Jokes: What do you call having your grandma on speed dial?… Instagram. (Grandparent Jokes)
  15. Grandparents Day JokesKnock! Knock!… Who’s there?… Grandma. Knock! Knock!… Who’s there?… Grandma… Knock! Knock!… Who’s there?… Grandma. Knock! Knock!… Who’s there?… Aunt. Aunt who?… Aunt you glad Grandma’s gone?
  16. What did one Christmas tree say to the other Christmas tree?… “I wish Christmas would last forever because there would be no Sep-timber!” (September Jokes & Christmas Tree Jokes)
  17. Constitution Jokes: I got caught with a copy of the Constitution… I swear I read it for the articles. (Constitution Jokes
  18. When did Anakin’s Jedi masters know he was leaning towards the dark side?… In the Sith Grade. (May the 4th be With you JokesElementary teachers are great tutors!)
  19. Teacher: Everybody hand in your homework, please. Students: Teacher, it’s the first day of school. We didn’t have any homework. Teacher: That’s right, and that’s the last excuse for not doing your homework that I’ll accept for the rest of the year. (Back to School Jokes)
  20. What did the mother rope say to her child?…“Don’t be knotty.” (Mothers’ Day Jokes)
  21. What did the digital clock say to its mother?… “Look, Ma! No hands!” (Mothers’ Day Jokes)
  22. What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?… It’s time to go to sweep!(Mothers’ Day Jokes)
  23. Larry’s mother had four children. Three were named North, South and West. What was her other child’s name? … Larry. (Mothers’ Day Jokes)
  24. A police recruit was asked during the exam, ‘What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?’ He answered, ‘Call for backup.’ (Mothers’ Day Jokes)
  25. What did the mother bullet say to the daddy bullet?… “We’re gonna have a BB!”(Mothers’ Day Jokes)
  26. Sunday school teacher: Tell me, do you say prayers before eating?… Student: No, ma’am, I don’t have to. My mom’s a good cook. (Mothers’ Day Jokes)
  27. FRIDAY THE 13TH: What’s Jason Voorhees favorite dessert?… I-Scream! (Top Friday the 13th Jokes)
  28. Mother to son: I’m warning you. If you fall out of that tree and break both your legs, don’t come running to me! (Mothers’ Day Jokes)
  29. How come the mother needle got mad at the baby needle?… It was way past its threadtime! (Mothers’ Day Jokes)
  30. If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflowers bring?… Pilgrims.
  31. Why do fish swim in salt water?…. Pepper makes them sneeze.
  32. Why are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean?… They’re both below C level!
  33. Why are the Middle Ages sometimes called the Dark Ages? … Because there were so many knights.
  34. Why can’t you trust an atom?… They make up everything (Top Physics Jokes)
  35. What do physicists enjoy doing the most at sporting events?… The Wave (Top Physics Jokes)
  36. Where do cows go on dates?…MOOOOvies
  37. National Hot Dog Day Jokes: What is the best way to enjoy a hot dog?… Relish it.
  38. What happened to the plant in math class?… It grew square roots.
  39. What kind of pants do ghosts wear?… Boo jeans! (180 School Jokes)
  40. What do prisoners use to call each other?… Cell phones. (180 School Jokes)
  41. What do you get from a pampered cow?… Spoiled milk. (180 School Jokes)
  42. What did the dentist give to the marching band?…A TUBA toothpaste (180 School Jokes)
  43. What did the bottle of dressing say to the person who opened the refrigerator door?…“SHUT THE DOOR!” I’m dressing! (180 School Jokes)
  44. Why is a traffic light red?…You would be red too if you were changing in front of people all day. (180 School Jokes)
  45. Did I tell you the joke about the ceiling?… Oh forget it. It’s over your head. (180 School Jokes)
  46. What did the ocean say to the other ocean?… Nothing. He waved. (180 School Jokes)

bonus jokes

  1. Where does Princess Leia go shopping for clothing and such?… At the Darth Maul, of course. (Top 10 Star Wars Jokes)
  2. What did the rancor say after he ate a Wookiee?… Chewie! (Top 10 Star Wars Jokes)
  3. What is a jedi’s favorite toy?… A yo-yoda (Top 10 Star Wars Jokes)
  4. What do you call a pirate droid?… Argh2-D2 (Teach Like a Pirate is a great book for teachers!(Top 10 Star Wars Jokes)

 
BONUS JOKES

  1. Where did the spaghetti go to dance?….The Meat Ball!
  2. When is a door like a bottle?….When the door is ajar
  3. What does a pig put on a cut?….Oinkment
  4. Why is a lost Dalmatian easily found?….Because he is always spotted!
  5. What did the math book tell the pencil?….I have a lot of problems.
  6. What do prisoners use to call each other?… Cell phones. (180 School Jokes)
  7. What do you get from a pampered cow?… Spoiled milk. (180 School Jokes)
  8. How do you make a tissue dance?… Put a little boogey in it!
  9. Did you hear about the kidnapping?… Probably not, he is still sleeping.
  10. What did the math book tell the pencil?…. I have a lot of problems.
  11. Why is the letter “A” like a spring flower?… A bee (B) comes after it! (Top Spring Jokes)

What do you call a grandpa whale?… A hunch back whale! (Top Grandparents Day Jokes)

When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, “I’m not sure.” “Look in your underwear, Grandpa,” he advised “Mine says I’m 4 to 6.” (Top Grandparents Day Jokes)

  1. What flies around the kindergarten room at night?… The alpha-BAT. (26 Lessons for the Letter of the Week A- ZTop Elementary School Jokes)
  1. What’s the best place to grow flowers in school?… In the kindergarden. (26 Lessons for the Letter of the Week A- ZTop Elementary School Jokes)
  1. What is a witch’s favorite class?… Spelling (Is Spelling Important? phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid)
  1. How is a healthy person like the United States?… They both have good constitutions! (Top Constitution Day JokesTop Constitution Day Websites)
  2. Where did the one legged pirate go for breakfast?… IHOP (101 Pirate Day Jokes)
  1. What is a pirate’s favorite letter?…. Most people think it’s the ‘R’rrrr, but really it’s the ‘C’ they love. (26 lessons for the Letter of the WeekTop 10 Talk Like a Pirate Day Jokes)
  2. How is losing money in a payphone like a football game?… If you don’t get the quarter back, you hit the receiver! (Top Football Jokes)
  3. Did you hear that some NFL football teams don’t have a website?… They can’t string three “Ws” together. (Top Football Jokes)
  4. What does a bad football team and possums have in common?… Both play dead at home and get killed on the road! (Top Football Jokes)
  5. Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?… To make up for his miserable summer. (Top Summer JokesTop Fall Jokes)
  6. What did the tree say to autumn?… Leave me alone. (Top 10 Fall Jokes)
  7. What did one leaf say to another?… I’m falling for you. (Top Valentines Day Jokes)
  8. How do you fix a broken pumpkin?… With a pumpkin patch. (Top Halloween Jokes)
  9. What is a tree’s least favorite month?… Sep-timber!
  10. What did one leaf say to another?… I’m falling for you. (Top Valentines Day Jokes)
  11. What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?… Squash. (Top Fall Jokes)
  12. Why did summer catch autumn?… Because autumn had a fall.
  13. What’s the ratio of a pumpkin’s circumference to its diameter?… Pumpkin Pi (101 Pi Day Jokes)

October

  1. What do you give to a pumpkin who is trying to quit smoking?… A pumpkin patch! (Top Fall Jokes)
  2. Smile and the world smiles with you. Fart and you smile alone. (Top World Smile Day Jokes)
  3. Why didn’t Dracula have any friends?…He was a pain in the neck!
  4. Where did Columbus first land in America?… On his feet! (Top Columbus Day Jokes)
  5. Columbus’ Father: I don’t care what you’ve discovered, Christopher. You could have written. (Top Columbus Day Jokes)
  6. The teacher stood at the front of the room. “Does anybody know what this Monday is?” About half of the students raised their hands. The teacher pointed to one of them. “It’s Columbus Day!” he crowed. The teacher smiled. “It is. Does anybody know why we celebrate it?” This time, only one student raised her hand. “It’s the day the Indians discovered Columbus!” (Top Columbus Day Jokes)
  7. How was Columbus’s ship like an avid shopper?… They’re both driven by sales! (Top Columbus Day Jokes)
  8. The teacher was telling the story of Christopher Columbus and how many thought that the world was flat. Then she had mentioned that the world was really round and… got interrupted… “Miss Smith, the world is square, not round,” said Johnny. “No, it’s round Johnny. Who told you it was square?” replied the teacher. “My older brother. He claims he’s been to all 4 corners of the earth.” (Top Geography Jokes)
  9. What happened when Columbus was shot at by an Indian?… He had an arrow miss. (Top Columbus Day Jokes)
  10. What’s the difference between one of Columbus’s sailors and a monster?… One left his Spain behind and the other left his brain behind! (Top Halloween Jokes)
  11. What did one mole say to the other?… We make great chemistry together. Chemistry teachers are great tutors! (Top Mole Day Jokes)
  12. What would you get if you crossed Columbus Day with Halloween?… Ghoulumbus Day! (Top Halloween Jokes)
  13. How much does Avogadro exaggerate?… He makes mountains out of mole hills. Chemistry teachers are great tutors! (Top Mole Day Jokes)
  14. Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?… It’s mole-itically incorrect. Chemistry teachers are great tutors! (Top Mole Day Jokes)
  15. What did Avogadro get when he mixed ice cream, chocolate syrup, and milk together?… A chocolate Moledt
  16. What kind of fruit did Avogadro eat in the summer?… Watermolens. Chemistry teachers are great tutors! (Top Mole Day Jokes)
  17. How many guacs are in a bowl of guacamole?… Avocados number! Chemistry teachers are great tutors! (Top Mole Day Jokes)
  18. If a mole of moles were digging a mole of holes, what would you see?… A mole of molasses! Chemistry teachers are great tutors! (Top Mole Day Jokes)
  19. What element do moles love to study in chemistry?… Molybdenum. Chemistry teachers are great tutors! (Top Mole Day Jokes)
  20. Avogadro loved to watch MASH. Which character did he like most?… Father Molecahy Chemistry teachers are great tutors! (Top Mole Day Jokes)
  21. How do you say goodbye to a vampire?… So long sucker!
  22. Where does a vampire keep his money?…In a blood bank.
  23. Why did Avogadro stop going to a chiropractor on October 24th?… He was only tense to the 23rd!
  24. What kind of dog does a vampire have?…A bloodhound.
  25. What did one ghost say to the other ghost?… “Long time no see.”
  26. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?…Frostbite.
  27. What do you call ghosts that ring doorbells?…Dead ringers.
  28. What does a ghost keep in its stable?…Nightmares.
  29. What did the pumpkin need for its boo boo?…A pumpkin patch
  30. What do you call a skeleton that lies on its grave?…Lazy bones!
  31. What did one casket say to the other casket?…”Is that you coffin?” (coughing)

Bonus Halloween Jokes!

  1. What kind of streets do zombies live on?… Dead-ends.
  2. What do you call a mummy eating in bed?…A crummy mummy.
  3. When do vampires like horse racing?…When it’s neck and neck!
  4. Who won the zombie war?…Nobody, it was dead even.
  5. Why is it hard for a ghost to tell a lie?…Because you can see right through him.
  6. What is a mummy’s favorite type of music?… Rap music.
  7. What school subject is a witch good at?…Spelling.
  8. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?…”Watch the board and I’ll go through it again.”
  9. How do you make a skeleton laugh?…Tickle its funnybone!

What pants do ghosts wear?…BOO jeans.
What kind of boat do werewolves like?…blood vessels
Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to the dance?…Because he had no body to go with.
What key opens a Haunted House?… A spooKEY!
Why don’t mummies take vacations?…They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.
What monster wears the most clothes?…A werewolf!
Why did the Cyclops close his school?…Because he only had one pupil.
How was Frankenstien’s birth?…Shocking.
What do you read on Halloween?…BOO-ks
How do you make a skeleton laugh?…Tickle its funnybone!
Knock knock…Who’s there?…Orange…Orange who?…Orange you glad it’s Halloween?
November JokesNovember Hashtags

  1. What month should you never ask to the Prom?… “NO” vember (Clean Prom Jokes)
  2. What do you find in an empty nose?…fingerprints
  3. Where do you get sandwiches in India?… At the New Delhi. (World Geography JokesNational Sandwich Day Jokes)
  4. “I don’t mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I’ve saved all year.” Victor Borge (Daylight Savings Jokes)
  5. Why did the baker stop making donuts?… He was fed up with the hole business! (Labor Day Jokes / Donut Jokes National Doughnut Day Jokes)
  6. What is the most popular college during election season?… The Electoral College(Electoral College from Highest to LowestElection Day Jokes)
  7. What was General Washington’s favorite tree?…The infan-tree! (Top 40 4th of July JokesVeterans Day Jokes / Top Arbor Day Jokes)
  8. What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to?…Plymouth Rock! (Top Thanksgiving Day Jokes)
  9. What sound does a turkey’s phone make?…Wing! Wing! (Top Thanksgiving Day Jokes)
  10. What did the turkey say to the computer?…“Google, google, google.” (Top Thanksgiving Day Jokes)
  11. Where did the General put his armies?… In his sleevies. (get it his sleeves)? (Top Veterans Day Jokes)
  12. Sister: Mom wants you to help us fix Thanksgiving dinner. Brother: Why? Is it broken? (Top Thanksgiving Day Jokes)
  13. What do Black Friday shoppers and the Thanksgiving turkey have in common?… They know what it’s like to be jammed into a small place and stuffed! (Thanksgiving Jokes & School Jokes: Black Friday Jokes)
  14. How do pickles enjoy a day out?… They relish it. (National Pickle Day Jokes)
  15. What sound does a limping turkey make?…“Wobble, wobble!” (Top Thanksgiving Day Jokes)
  16. Did you hear McDonald killed Burger King in front of Five Guys over that the girl Wendy?… The funeral is at White Castle. I’m taking Dairy Queen. (National Fast Food Day Jokes)
  17. Why can’t you take a turkey to church?…Because they use such FOWL language. (Top Thanksgiving Day Jokes)
  18. Why did they let the turkey join the band?…Because he had the drumsticks. (Top Thanksgiving Day Jokes)
  19. If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?… Their AGE! (Grandparents Day Jokes)
  20. Why does Freddy Krueger wear a hat?… He ran out of scare spray. (Top Friday the 13th Jokes)
  21. What’s Jason Voorhees favorite desert?… I-Scream! (Top Friday the 13th Jokes)
  22. What do you call a map guide to Alcatraz?… A con-tour map. (Top Geography Jokes)
  23. What do John Wayne and a map key have in common?… Both are legends. (Top Geography Jokes)
  24. Why do paper maps never win at poker?… Because they always fold. (Top Geography Jokes)
  25. What are unhappy cranberries called?…Blueberries!
  26. What do Betty Crocker cakes & a baseball team have in common?… They both count on the batter! (Baseball Jokes)
  27. Why was longitude boiling mad?…Because it was 360 degrees. (Geography Awareness WeekTop Geography Jokes)
  28. Why are maps like fish?….Both have scales. (Geography Awareness WeekTop Geography Jokes)
  29. What is smarter, longitude or latitude?…Longitude, because it has 360 degrees (Geography Awareness WeekTop Geography Jokes)
  30. What do geographers grow in their gardens?…Compass roses. (Geography Awareness WeekTop Geography Jokes )
  31. Why didn’t the map projection finish his speech?…He was interrupted. (Geography Awareness WeekTop Geography Jokes)
  32. What country does a pirate love to sail his ship to?…AARRRGHentina! (Geography Awareness WeekTop Geography Jokes)
  33. How can you tell that compasses and scales are intelligent?…Because they’re all graduated. (Geography Awareness WeekTop Geography JokesTop Pirate Jokes)
  34. If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflowers bring?… Pilgrims (The Mayflower Ship)
  35. Why are bananas good at gymnastics… They do great banana splits!
  36. What’s the best part about Black Friday?… Resting on Saturday. (Top Black Friday Jokes)
  37. Why do they call the day after Thanksgiving “Black Friday”?… It matches the mood of all those unhappy shoppers. (Top Black Friday Jokes)
  38. Where would a reindeer go to find her lost tail?…”Re-tail” store. (Top Christmas Jokes)
  39. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?… Frostbite. (Top Christmas JokesTop Winter Jokes)

Bonus jokes

  1. What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving?…The letter “g”!
  2. Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctors?…He was feeling crummy.
  3. Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving?… The turkey because he’s already stuffed!
  4. What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son?…If your grandpa could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy!

December Jokes

  1. Why does Santa have 3 gardens?… So he can ho-ho-ho! (Top Christmas Jokes & Top Winter Jokes)
  2. What is the best Christmas present in the world?….A broken drum, you can’t beat it! (Top Christmas Jokes & Top Winter Jokes)
  3. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?… Nothing, it was on the house! (Top Christmas Jokes & Top Winter Jokes)
  4. National Cookie Day: When should you take a cookie to the doctor?… When it feels crummy. (Doctor Jokes for Kids)
  5. How is the alphabet different on Christmas from every other day?… There’s Noel! (Teacher Jokes & Top 10 Christmas Jokes for Teachers)
  6. What nationality is Santa?… North Polish! (World Geography Jokes)
  7. Why did Rudolph get a bad report card?… Because he went down in history.  (Reindeer Jokes & 180 School Jokes)
  8. National Brownie Day JokesHow is a softball team like a brownie?… They both depend on a good batter! (Top Softball Jokes)
  9. Knock knockWho’s there?… Irish... Irish who?… Irish you a Merry Christmas! (Christmas Knock Knock Jokes & St. Patrick’s Day Jokes)
  10. What is the best Christmas present in the world?… A broken drum, you can’t beat it! (Music Jokes)
  11. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?… Nothing, it was on the house!
  12. What kind of music does elves like best?…”Wrap” music! (Music Jokes & Elf Jokes)
  13. Friday the 13th Jokes: What do get when you cross Jason Voorhees and a box of cherrios?… A cereal killer. (Cereal Jokes)
  14. Who is a Christmas tree’s favorite singer?… Spruce Springsteen. (Christmas Tree Jokes & Music Jokes)
  15. Darth Vader: I know what you’re getting for Christmas. Luke: How do you know? Darth Vader: I can feel your presents. (Star Wars Jokes)
  16. Knock knockWho’s there?… Irish... Irish who? … Irish you a Merry Christmas!
  17. What do call a middle school student afraid of Santa Claus?….Claustrophobic. (Middle School Jokes).
  18. A book never written: “Joyful Occasions” by Holly Daze.
  19. Why is Santa so good at karate?… Because he has a black belt! (Top 10 Karate Jokes)
  20. Which famous person do you get when you make a wreath out of $100 bills?… Aretha Franklin. (Music Jokes)
  21. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Murray… Murray who?… Murray Christmas, one and all! (Christmas Knock Knock Jokes)
  22. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Olive… Olive, who?… Olive the other reindeer. (Christmas Knock Knock Jokes & Reindeer Jokes)
  23. What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?… A cookie sheet! (Cookie Jokes & Napping Jokes)
  24. What comes before Christmas Eve?… Christmas Adam. (Christmas Eve Jokes)
  25. Why do mummies like Christmas so much?… Because of all the wrapping!
  26. What kind of bug hates Christmas?… A humbug.
  27. What does a vampire sing on New Year’s Eve?… Auld FANG syne (New Years Eve Jokes)
  28. An iPhone and a firework were arrested on New Year’s Eve. One was charged and the other was let off. (Fireworks Jokes & Police Jokes)
  29. What happened to the man who shoplifted a calendar on New Year’s Eve?… He got 12 months! (Police Jokes & Top 10 New Year’s Eve Jokes)
  30. Every New Year’s Eve, I look forward to a good show at Time’s Square …… and year after year, they drop the ball. (New York Jokes& Top 10 New Year’s Eve Jokes)

Bonus Jokes

  1. Why was Santa’s little helper sad?… He had low elf esteem! (Top Psychology Jokes)
  2. What kind of music does elves like best?…”Wrap” music!
  3. What do elves learn in schools?… the “elf”-abet!
  1. What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?… She gave him the cold shoulder!
  1. Where do seals go to see movies?… The dive-in!
  1. What did the big furry hat say to the warm woolly scarf?… “You hang around while I go on a head.”

March Jokes
April Jokes

April Jokes

  1. April 1st: April Fool’s Day: Do you know all about April 1st?… Yes, I’m fooly aware of it! (Top April Fool’s Day Jokes)
  2. Why is everyone so tired on April 1?… Because they’ve just finished a long, 31 day March! (Top Spring Jokes)
  3. If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflower’s bring?… Pilgrims (Top Thanksgiving Day JokesTop Social Studies Jokes)
  4. When do monkeys fall from the sky?… During Ape-ril showers! (Top Spring Jokes)
  5. Why did the top scorer on the Final Four basketball player go to jail?…  Because he shot the ball 20 times! (March Madness Jokes)
  6. April 6th: What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?… Brrrr- itos! (Burrito Jokes: National Burrito Day Jokes)
  7. Sports Reporter: What do you think about the execution of your team? Frustrated March Madness coach: I support that 100%! (March Madness Jokes)
  8. What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops?… Swiss!!! (March Madness Jokes)
  9. When do monkeys fall from the sky?… During Ape-ril showers! (Top Spring Jokes)
  10. How do trees get on the internet?… They log in. (Top Earth Day Jokes)
  11. “I have an obsession with wind farms.” “Really?” “Yes. I’m a huge fan.”(Top Earth Day Jokes)
  12. What did one lightening bolt say to the other lightening bolt?… You’re shocking!(Top Earth Day Jokes)
  13. How can you tell the ocean is friendly?… It waves. (Top Earth Day Jokes)
  14. What’s a tornado’s favorite game?… Twister! (Top Earth Day Jokes)
  15. How do hurricanes see?… With one eye! (Top Earth Day Jokes)
  16. What does a cloud wear under his pants?… Thunderwear! (Top Earth Day Jokes)
  17. What kind of bow can’t be tied?… A rainbow! (Top Earth Day Jokes)
  18. What is a tree’s least favorite month?… Sep-timber! (Top Earth Day Jokes)
  19. What did Obi Wan Kenobi say to the tree?… May the Forest be with you. (Top Earth Day Jokes)
  20. Did you hear about the Boston Marathon runner who ran for three hours but only moved two feet?… He only had two feet! (Boston Marathon Jokes)
  21. What do Boston Marathon runners do when they forget something?… They jog their memory. (Psychology Memory LessonsBoston Marathon Jokes)
  22. Did you hear about the Boston Marathon race between the lettuce and the tomato?… The lettuce was a “head” and the tomato was trying to “ketchup”! (Boston Marathon Jokes)
  23. How do crazy Boston Marathon runners go through the forest?… They take the psycho path.(Top Psychology JokesPsychology Lessons)
  24. Why did the leaf go to the doctor?… It was feeling green! (Top Earth Day Jokes)
  25. What did the tree wear to the pool party?… Swimming trunks! (Top Earth Day Jokes)
  26. Did you hear the one about the redwood?… It’s tree-mendous! (Top Arbor Day Jokes)
  27. Why was the pine tree sent to its room?… Because it was being knotty! (Top Arbor Day Jokes)
  28. What did the tree wear to the pool party?… Swimming trunks! (Top Arbor Day Jokes)
  29. Why was the tree drooling?… It was a dogwood. (Top Arbor Day Jokes)
  30. Did you hear the one about the oak tree?… It’s acorny one! (Top Arbor Day Jokes)
  31. What did the grape do when it got stepped on?….It let out a little wine!

October Guest Blogs / Top Guest Blogs / October Jokes / Top October Pages

October Jokes (2019)

Fall Jokes

  1. Who is the #1 Super Villain for October?… Doc Ock from Spiderman! (Spiderman Jokes)
  2. Which month is a Rock Stars favorite?… Rock- tober (Music Jokes)
  3. October 4th: National Taco DayTaco JokesWhat do you call cheese that is not yours?… NA Cho cheese! (180 School Jokes)
  4. October 4th: World Smile Day: Taco JokesWhat do you call cheese that is not yours?… NA Cho cheese (180 School Jokes)
  5. October 5th: World Teachers Day JokesWhy did the teacher jump into the water?… She wanted to test the water! (Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  6. Did you hear the joke about tree?… It’ll leaf you laughing! (Fall Jokes for Kids Tree Jokes)
  7. Why do trees hate tests? — Because they get stumped by the questions. (180 School Jokes & Tree Jokes)
  8. October 8th: World Octopus Day JokesWhat do you call 2 octopuses that look exactly the same? – Itenticle. (Octopus Jokes)
  9. October 9th: Leif Erikson Day Jokes: Which football team does Christopher Columbus like the least?… The Vikings, because they always beat him. (Leif Erikson found America first) (Top 10 Sports Jokes & Columbus Day Jokes)
  10. October 10th: World Mental Health Day: Why was the cheeseburger sad?… It had blue cheese! (Cheeseburger Jokes for Kids /  Psychology Jokes / Bullying Prevention Blogs)
  11. October 11th: World Egg Day Jokes: What day do eggs hate most?… Fry-day!
  12. What reads and lives in an apple?… A bookworm. (Library Jokes)
  13. October 13th: Top 10 Full Moon Jokes: Why wasn’t the moon hungry?… Because it was full! (Astronomy Jokes for Kids)
  14. October 14th: Columbus Day Jokes: Where did Columbus first land in America?… On his feet! (Top Biology Jokes)
  15. October 23rd:#MakeADogsDay / Dog Jokes:What is a fighter’s favorite dog?…  A boxer. (Boxing Jokes for Kids)
  16. How do you fix a broken pumpkin?… With a pumpkin patch. (Pumpkin Jokes)
  17. Fence Company SignOur favorite fall sport is fencing. (Fencing Jokes)
  18. What basketball player would be a great spokesperson for autumn?… Taco Fall. (Taco Jokes)
  19. The nurse walked into the busy doctor’s office and said, “Doctor, the invisible man is here.” The doctor replied, “Sorry, I can’t see him.” (Biology Jokes for Kids & Nurse Jokes)
  20. Why didn’t Dracula have any friends?…He was a pain in the neck! (Biology Jokes for Kids & Vampire Jokes)
  21. What did one ghost say to the other ghost?… “Long time no see.” (Biology Jokes)
  22. What did the werewolf eat after he’d had his teeth cleaned?…The dentist. (Biology Jokes Dentist Jokes)
  23. October 23rd: Mole Day Jokes: How much does Avogadro exaggerate?… He makes mountains out of mole hills. (Hiking Jokes & Geography Jokes)
  24. What is a vampire’s favorite drink?… A bloody Mary. (Vampire Jokes)
  25. What did the ghost teacher say to her class?…Watch the board and I’ll go through it again. (Ghost Jokes Teacher Jokes)
  26. October 26th: National Pumpkin Day Jokes: What did a Jack-o-lantern say to the pumpkin?… Cut it out! (Halloween Jokes & Fall Jokes)
  27. Who won the zombie war?…Nobody, it was dead even. (Top 10 Friday the 13th Jokes)
  28. What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument?… The trombone. (Biology Jokes / Music Jokes / Skeleton Jokes)
  29. What did the skeleton drive to the hockey game?… A Zam-bony. (Halloween Jokes for Kids / Top 10 Hockey Jokes / Skeleton Jokes)
  30. What did the ghost eat for lunch?… A booloney sandwich! (Ghost Jokes & Sandwich Jokes)
  31. October 31st:Halloween Jokes: The nurse walked into the busy doctor’s office and said, “Doctor, the invisible man is here.” The doctor replied, “Sorry, I can’t see him.” (Biology Jokes for Kids & Nurse Jokes)

September Jokes / Top 10 September Jokes

  1. September 2nd: Labor Day Jokes:

November Jokes

Fall Jokes

  1. What month should you never ask to borrow money from?… “NO” vember. (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  2. What does a clock do when it’s hungry?… It goes back for seconds! (Daylight Savings Jokes)
  3. November 3rd: Sandwich Day Jokes:What did the ghost eat for lunch?… A booloney sandwich! (Halloween Jokes & Ghost Jokes)
  4. November 4th: National Candy Day Jokes: What did the M&M go to college?… Because he wanted to be a Smarty. (College Jokes & Candy Jokes)
  5. Election Day: Election Day Jokes What is the most popular college during election season?… The Electoral College(College Jokes)
  6. What do you get if cross a Turtle with a Giraffe?… A Turtle-Neck (Giraffe Jokes for Kids / Turtle Jokes / Fall Jokes)
  7. How do trees get onto the internet?… Easy, they just LOG on. (Arbor Day Jokes & Tree Jokes)
  8. What’s the ratio of a pumpkin’s circumference to its diameter?… Pumpkin Pi (Pi Day Jokes & Pumpkin Jokes)
  9. Why shouldn’t you tell a secret in a cornfield?… Because the corn has ears. (Biology Jokes & Corn Jokes)
  10. What was General Washington’s favorite tree?…The infan-tree! (4th of July Jokes Arbor Day Jokes)
  11. November 11th: Veterans Day: Did you hear about the popcorn that joined the army?… They made him a kernel. (Popcorn Jokes)
  12. Why did the scarecrow win a medal?… He was outstanding in his field. (Top 10 Sports Jokes & Farming Jokes)
  13. November 13th: Full Moon Jokes: How does the man in the moon cut his hair?… Eclipse it. (Barber Jokes for Kids & Astronomy Jokes for Kids)
  14. What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to?…Plymouth Rock! (Music Jokes)
  15. What’s the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?… The turkey trot! (Turkey Jokes)
  16. Why do pilgrims pants keep falling down?… Because their belt buckles are on their hats!
  17. If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?… Their AGE! (Grandparents Jokes)
  18. Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving?… The turkey because he’s already stuffed! (Turkey Jokes)
  19. Sister: Mom wants you to help us fix Thanksgiving dinner. Brother: Why? Is it broken
  20. Which November Holiday is Dracula’s favorite?… Fangs-giving (Halloween Jokes)
  21. How did the Mayflower show that it liked America?… It hugged the shore! (Geography Jokes)
  22. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Gladys… Gladys who?…. Gladys Thanksgiving. Aren’t you? (Thanksgiving Knock Knock Jokes)
  23. What key has legs and can’t open doors?… A turkey. (Turkey Jokes)
  24. Why did the police arrest the turkey?… They suspected it of fowl play! (Turkey Jokes & Police Jokes)
  25. What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving?…The letter “g”! (26 Lessons for the Letter of the Week & Is Spelling Really Important?)
  26. What sound does a limping turkey make?…“Wobble, wobble!” (Turkey Jokes)
  27. When the Pilgrims landed, where did they stand?… On their feet! (Top Geography Jokes)
  28. Thanksgiving Jokes: If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflowers bring?… Pilgrims (The Mayflower Ship) (Spring Jokes)
  29. Black Friday Jokes:What do Black Friday shoppers and the Thanksgiving turkey have in common?… They know what it’s like to be jammed into a small place and stuffed! (Thanksgiving Jokes)

January Jokes

  1. What does the Easter Bunny say on New Year’s Day?…. Hoppy New Year! (Easter Jokes)
  2. What comes at the start of January?… “J.” (January Jokes)
  3. Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have a joke for every day of the year!
  4. What does a hockey player and a magician have in common?… Both do hat tricks! (Magic Jokes)
  5. National Spaghetti Day Jokes: What do you call a fake noodle?… An impasta. (Pasta Jokes)
  6. National Bird Day Jokes: What would you get if you crossed the American national bird with Snoopy?… A bald beagle! (Constitution Jokes & American Revolutionary War Jokes)
  7. Full Moon Jokes: Why wasn’t the moon hungry?… Because it was full! (Astronomy Jokes for Kids)
  8. What does Jack Frost like best about school?… Snow and tell. (180 School Jokes & Winter Jokes)
  9. January 11th National Milk Day Jokes What did mama cow say to baby cow?… It’s pasture bedtime. (Milk Jokes for KidsMother’s Day Jokes)

Knock, knock!… Who’s there?… Snow… Snow who?… Snowbody!

Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?… Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!

  1. January 15th: National Hat Day Jokes: What did the hat say to the tie?… “You hang around here…I’ll go on a head.” (Biology Jokes for Teachers)
  2. January 16th Appreciate a Dragon Day: Why do dragons often sleep during the day?… So they can fight knights! (Knight Jokes & Dragon Jokes)
  3. January 18th: Winnie the Pooh Day: Who lives in the scary Hundred Acre Wood?… Winnie the Boo. (Halloween Jokes & Ghost Jokes)
  4. January 19th: National Popcorn Day: Why aren’t there many jokes about popcorn?… Because they are corny. (Corn Jokes & Popcorn Jokes)
  5. January 20th: Penguin Awareness Day: What’s a penguin’s favorite relative?… Aunt Arctica! (Penguin Jokes)
  6. How do snowmen travel around?… By icicle! (Top 10 Winter Jokes)
  7. January 23rd National Pie Day Jokes What’s the best thing to put into a pie?… Your teeth!hat’s the best thing to put into a pie?… Your teeth! (Dentist Jokes)
  8. January 24th: National Peanut Butter Day Jokes Did you hear the joke about the peanut butter?…  I’m nut telling you. You might spread it!
  9. What did the football say to the Super Bowl punter?… “I get a kick out of you.” (Top 10 Super Bowl Jokes)
  10. Where do for Super Bowl quarterbacks go when they get old?… Out to pass-ture. (Top 10 Super Bowl Jokes)
  11. What Super Bowl play should you be suspicious of?… The quarterback sneak. (Top 10 Super Bowl Jokes)
  12. What’s the difference between a Super Bowl quarterback and a baby?… One takes the snap, the other takes a nap. (Napping Jokes & Top 10 Super Bowl Jokes)
  13. Where do hungry football players play?… In the Supper Bowl.(Top 10 Super Bowl Jokes)
  14. Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctors?… He was feeling crummy. (Top 10 Winter Jokes)
  15. What comes at the end of January?… “Y”

Where the snowman does dances on?… A snow ball! (Top 10 Winter Jokes)
What do snowmen like to do on the weekend?… Chill out.What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?… Frostbite (Top 10 Winter Jokes)
How does one snowman greet another snowman?…. Ice to meet you. (Top 10 Winter Jokes)What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?… Brrrr- itos. (Top 10 Winter Jokes)What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?… Cold cash!
Where does a snowman keep his money?… In a snow bank.What is the snowman’s breakfast?… Frosted flakes! (Top 10 Winter Jokes)What do snowmen eat for breakfast?… Snowflakes! (Top 10 Winter Jokes)What did one snowman say to the other snowman?… Do you smell carrots?

February JokesFebruary Jokes for Kids

  1. What Super Bowl play should you be suspicious of?… The quarterback sneak.(Top 10 Super Bowl Jokes)
  2. What happened when the groundhog met the dogcatcher?… He became a pound hog! (Top 10 Ground Hog Day Jokes)
  3. February 2nd Top 10 Ground Hog Day Jokes: What do you call Punxsutawney Phil’s laundry?… Hogwash.
  4. February 3rd: Super Bowl Jokes: What’s the difference between a quarterback and a baby?… One takes the snap, the other takes a nap.
  5. What month is the best for coffee? …. Feb – BREW – ary (Coffee Jokes)
  6. What is a ghost’s favorite month?… Feb – BOO – uary. (Halloween Jokes)
  7. What does a bad football team and possums have in common?… Both play dead at home and get killed on the road! (Top 10 Super Bowl Jokes)
  8. Do you have a date for Valentines Day?… Yes, February 14th. (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  9. Did Adam and Eve ever have a date?… No, but they had an apple.
  10. How a does hockey player kiss?… He puckers up. (Hockey Jokes for Kids)
  11. How do you make an egg roll?….You push it.
  12. What kind of stories are told by basketball players?…. Tall Tales. (Top Basketball Jokes)
  13. What did the boy squirrel say to the girl squirrel on Valentine’s Day?… I’m nuts about you! (Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  14. What did the paper clip say to the magnet?… I find you very attractive. (Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  15. What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine’s Day?… Ughs and kisses! (Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  16. What do you call two birds in love?…. Tweethearts! (Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  17. Presidents’ Day Jokes: What might an older candidate need if elected?… Presidentures! (Dentist Jokes Presidents’ Day Jokes)
  18. What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day?… I’m stuck on you! (Top 25 Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  19. What do you call a very small Valentine’s?… A Valentiny! (Top 25 Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  20. What did the bear say to his Valentine?… I love you beary much! (Top 25 Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  21. What would you get if you crossed a gorilla with the sixteenth US president?…. Ape Lincoln! (Top 10 Presidents’ Day Jokes)
  22. Did Lincoln know that the North would win the Civil War?… After a while, he took it for Grant-ed! (Top 10 Presidents’ Day Jokes)
  23. Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping?…. Because he couldn’t lie. (Top 10 Presidents’ Day Jokes)
  24. What do you call George Washington’s false teeth?… Presidentures! (Top 10 Presidents’ Day Jokes)
  25. What would you get if you crossed the first US president with an animated character?… George Washingtoon! (Top 10 Presidents’ Day Jokes)
  26. How did George Washington speak to his army?…. In general terms! (Top 10 Presidents’ Day Jokes)
  27. How do billboards talk?….Sign language!
  28. February 28th: February is ending today, but that’s okay…. We’ll March on. (March Jokes)
  29. February 29th: Leap Year: What is a frog’s favorite month?… February. It has a Leap Year. (February Jokes & Frog Jokes)
  30. Why did the tomato turn red?….It saw the salad dressing!
  31. What did the grape do when it got stepped on?….It let out a little wine!
  32. I wasn’t going to celebrate Leap Day, but I decided to jump on the band wagon.(Top 10 Leap Day Jokes)
  33. What kind of music do you listen to on Leap Day?… Hip Hop. (Top 10 Leap Day Jokes)
  34. Where do most people eat on Leap Day?… IHOP. (Top 10 Leap Day Jokes)
  35. What is a frog’s favorite month?… February. It has a Leap Year.

Why are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean?… They’re both below C level! (Top Geography Jokes)

  1. What do you call a slow skier?… A slopepoke!
  2. What do you call a sleeping cow?… a bulldozer!
  1. How do Eskimos make their beds?… With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
  1. What’s a good winter tip?… Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
  1. What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?… A snowball!

March Jokes

  1. Can February March?… No, but April May. (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  2. March 2nd: Dr. Seuss Jokes: Where does the Cat in the Hat go when he’s sick?… To Dr. Seuss. (Cat Jokes)
  3. February is ending today, but that’s okay…. We’ll March on. (February Jokes)
  4. Why is everyone so tired on April 1?… Because they’ve just finished a long, 31 day March! (Spring Jokes & Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  5. March 7th National Pancake Day Jokes
  6. March 9th Full Moon Jokes: Why wasn’t the moon hungry?… Because it was full! (Astronomy Jokes for Kids)
  7. The mathematician says, “Pi r squared.” The baker replies, “No, pies are round. Cakes are square.”
  8. What is a math teacher’s favorite dessert?… Pi! (Pie Jokes)
  9. Friday the 13th Jokes: What’s Jason Voorhees favorite dessert?… I-Scream! (Ice Cream Jokes & Summer Jokes)
  10. March 14th Pi Day Jokes: Statistics show that 3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates. (Pirate Jokes)
  11. Son: Dad, I met an Irish girl on St. Patrick’s Day. Dad: Oh, really? Son: No, O’Reilly! (Dad Jokes)
  12. What did the leprechaun say when the video game ended?… Game clover!
  13. March 17th: Top 10 St. Patrick’s Day Jokes: Knock Knock …. Who’s there? ….Irish!… Irish Who? …. Irish you a happy St. Patrick’s Day! (St. Patrick’s Day Jokes)
  14. March 19th Funny Spring Jokes: What did the summer say to the spring?… Help! I’m going to fall. (Summer Jokes & Top Fall Jokes)
  15. What do you call a grizzly bear caught in the rain?… A drizzly bear. (Bear Jokes for Kids & Rain Jokes)
  16. What goes up when the rain comes down?… An umbrella! (Rain Jokes)
  17. What do you find in an empty nose?…fingerprints
  18. If you live in an igloo, what’s the worst thing about global warming?… No privacy!
  19. What did one candle say to the other?… “Don’t birthdays burn you up?” (Birthday Jokes for Kids)
  20. What did Mr. and Mrs. Hamburger name their daughter?….Patty
  21. What did the square say to the old circle?… Been around long?
  22. Why is music like a fish?…. they both have scales! (Top Fishing Jokes)

Extra

March Jokes

  1. Why doesn’t the Grinch like knock knock jokes?… Because there’s always Whos there! (Top Dr. Seuss JokesTop Dr. Seuss Quotes, & Dr. Seuss Trivia)
  2. What is Sam-I-am’s middle name?… “I” (Top Dr. Seuss JokesTop Dr. Seuss Quotes, & Dr. Seuss Trivia)
  3. What did one book say to the other one?… I just wanted to see if we are on the same page. (World Book Day Jokes)
  4. A word in this sentence is misspelled. What word is it?… Misspelled. (Top Grammar Day Jokes)
  5. What Dr. Suess baseball book was never published?… “The Cat at Bat!” (Top Baseball Jokes, Top Dr. Seuss JokesTop Dr. Seuss Quotes, & Dr. Seuss Trivia)
  6. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s was Sir Cumference… He ate too much Pi! (101 Pi Day Jokes)
  7. What did one book say to the other one?… I just wanted to see if we are on the same page. (World Book Day Jokes)
  8. Did you hear about the angry pancake?… He just flipped. (National Pancake Day Jokes)
  9. What is the official animal of Pi Day?… the PI – thon! (101 Pi Day Jokes)
  10. Why didn’t the clock work?… It needed a hand. (Daylight Savings Jokes)
  11. Why are diapers like 100 dollar bills?… They need to be changed. (101 Pi Day Jokes)
  12. Did you hear about the kidnapping?…. He’s still sleeping! (National Napping Day Jokes)
  13. What do the New York Yankees and pancakes have in common?… They both need a good batter! (Top Baseball JokesNational Pancake Day Jokes)
  14. Why is the longest human nose on record only 11 inches long?… Otherwise it would be a foot! (101 Pi Day Jokes)
  15. What did one calculus book say to the other?… Don’t bother me I’ve got my own problems! (101 Pi Day Jokes)
  16. What do you call mall friends who love math? alge “bros” (101 Pi Day Jokes)
  17. Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun? …. Because they’re always a little short. (Top St. Patrick’s Day Jokes)
  18. Did you hear the joke about the statistician?… Probably. (101 Pi Day Jokes)
  19. Knock Knock …. Who’s there? ….Irish!… Irish Who? …. Irish you a happy St. Patrick’s Day! (Top St. Patrick’s Day Jokes)
  20. Why is 6 afraid of 7?…  Because 7 8 (ate) 9 (101 Pi Day Jokes)
  21. “I married an Irishman on St. Patrick’s Day.” ….”Oh, really?” …. “No, O’Reilly!” (Top St. Patrick’s Day Jokes)
  22. What do you get when you cut a jack o’lantern by its diameter?… Pumpkin Pi! (Top 10 Pi Day Jokes)
  23. What do you get when you take the sun and divide its circumference by its diameter?…Pi in the sky. (Top 10 Pi Day Jokes)
  24. 3.14% of Sailors are PI rates! (Top 10 Pi Day Jokes)
  25. Why don’t you iron 4-Leaf clovers? …. Because you don’t want to press your luck. (Top St. Patrick’s Day Jokes)
  26. How is a best friend like a 4-leaf clover?…. Because they are hard to find and lucky to have. (Top St. Patrick’s Day Jokes)
  27. Are people jealous of the Irish?… Sure, they’re green with envy! (Top St. Patrick’s Day Jokes)
  28. Why is everyone so tired on April 1?… Because they’ve just finished a long, 31 day March! (Top Spring Jokes)
  29. What’s the Easter Bunny’s favorite restaurant?… IHOP (Top 10 Easter Jokes)
  30. Why shouldn’t you tell an Easter egg a good joke? … It might crack up! (Top 10 Easter Jokes)
  31. What do you call a line of rabbits walking backwards?… A receding “hareline.” (Top 10 Easter Jokes)
  32. Where does the Easter Bunny go when he needs a new tail?… To a re-tail store!(Top 10 Easter Jokes)
  33. What season is it when you are on a trampoline?… Spring-time! (Top Spring Jokes)
  34. What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?… Lily! (Top Spring Jokes)

April Jokes

  1. April 1st: April Fool’s Day Jokes: Do you know all about April 1st?… Yes, I’m fooly aware of it!
  2. April 1st: National Walking Day: Two men are walking through a graveyard with their dogs. One man turns to the other and says ‘Morning’ The other man replies ‘No, just walking the dog.” (Cemetery Jokes for Kids & Walking Jokes)
  3. Why is everyone so tired on April 1?… Because they’ve just finished a long, 31 day March! (Spring Jokes & Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  4. If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflower’s bring?… Pilgrims! (Social Studies Jokes Rain Jokes)
  5. April 5th: National Burrito Day JokesWhat do you call cheese that isn’t yours?… Nacho cheese!
  6. When do monkeys fall from the sky?… During Ape-ril showers! (April Jokes Monkey Jokes)
  7. Full Moon Jokes: How did the ocean say hello to the sun after the eclipse?… It waved. (Ocean Jokes for Kids & Sun Jokes)
  8. Can February March? … No, but April May! (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  9. What can be seen in the middle of the months ‘April’ and ‘March’, that cannot be seen in the beginning or end of either month?… the letter “r.” (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month & 26 Lessons for the Letter of the Week A- Z)
  10. What was the Patriots’ favorite food in the Revolutionary War? … Chicken Catch-a-Tory!
  11. All joking aside, what should you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? (Camping Jokes for Kids)
  12. “I have an obsession with wind farms…” “Really?…” “Yes. I’m a huge fan.”
  13. April 20 Patriots Day: What dance was very popular in 1776?… Indepen-dance! (Music Jokes)
  14. What did one lightning bolt say to the other lightning bolt?… You’re shocking! (Weather Jokes)
  15. April 22nd. Earth Day: What did the mother worm say to the little worm who was late?… “Where in earth have you been?” (Spring Jokes & Worm Jokes)
  16. What’s a tornado’s favorite game?… Twister! (Weather Jokes & Tornado Jokes)
  17. April 24th Arbor Day: What kind of tree does a math teacher climb?… Geometry. (Geometry Jokes / Tree Jokes / Arbor Day Jokes)
  18. Did you hear the joke about the oak tree?… It’s acorny one!

May Jokes for Kids / Family Joke of the Day / Top 10 May Jokes

  1. May 1st: Top 10 May Day Jokes: Did you hear Ted Danson is the spokesperson for May Day… Of course, he played Sam “May Day” Malone in the sitcom Cheers. (Baseball Jokes)
  2. When did Anakin’s Jedi masters know he was leaning towards the dark side?… In the Sith Grade. (180 School Jokes / Middle School Jokes / Star Wars Jokes for Kids)
  3. May 4th Be With You Jokes: Why did Anikin Walker cross the road?… To get to the Dark Side. (Top 10 Revenge of the Fifth Jokes) Star Wars Jokes for Kids
  4. May the fourth be with you……because tomorrow is Revenge of the Fifth! (Top 10 Revenge of the Fifth Jokes)
  5. May 5th Cinco De May Jokes: Cinco de Mayo is nacho average holiday. (Cheese Jokes)
  6. May 5th: The Revenge of the Fifth Jokes: What does Luke Skywalker say whilst playing golf… May the course be with you! (Golf Jokes & Top 10 Revenge of the Fifth Jokes)
  7. May 7th Flower Full Moon: Did you hear about the great new restaurant on the moon?… The food is excellent, but there’s no atmosphere. (Full Moon Jokes)
  8. May 6th: Top 10 Nurse JokesThe nurse walked into the busy doctor’s office and said, “Doctor, the invisible man is here.” The doctor replied, “Sorry, I can’t see him.” (Biology Jokes for Kids & Halloween Jokes)
  9. What did the mother rope say to her child?…“Don’t be knotty.”
  10. Sunday school teacher: Tell me, do you say prayers before eating?… Student: No, ma’am, I don’t have to. My mom’s a good cook.
  11. Top 10 Mother’s Day Jokes: Mother to son: I’m warning you. If you fall out of that tree and break both your legs, don’t come running to me! (Biology Jokes for Kids)
  12. I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn’t cut it. (Barber Jokes / Top 10 International Workers’ Day Jokes)
  13. What did the summer say to the spring?… Help! I’m going to fall. (Summer Jokes & Fall Jokes)
  14. Kentucky Derby May 4th: Where do Kentucky Derby horses get their hair done?… Maine. (Top State Jokes & Kentucky Derby Jokes)
  15. May 15th Chocolate Chip Cookie Day: What kind of keys do kids like to carry?… Chocolate Chip Cookies!
  16. What is a monkey’s favorite cookie?… Chocolate chimp! (Monkey Jokes for Kids)
  17. What did the sweet potato say to Luke Skywalker?… I Yam your father! (May the 4th be With you Jokes)
  18. May 5th Cinco De Mayo Jokes for KidsWhy can’t you trust burritos to keep a secret?… They tend to spill the beans. #CincoDeMayo
  19. What’s the best place to grow flowers for the prom?… In the kindergarden. (26 Lessons for the Letter of the Week A- Z & Elementary School Jokes)
  20. Why did the M&M go to school?… Because he really wanted to be a Smartie! (Candy Jokes & 180 School Jokes)
  21. Why did the angry Jedi cross the road?… To get to the Dark Side. (Top 10 Star Wars Jokes)
  22. What do you call cheese that is not yours?… NA Cho cheese (Cheese Jokes)
  23. What is a cow’s favorite holiday?… Moomorial day. (Cow Jokes)
  24. My great-grandfather fought with Napoleon, my grandfather fought with the French and my father fought with the Americans…. Your relatives couldn’t get along with anyone, could they? (Grandparent Jokes)
  25. Did you hear about the popcorn that joined the army?… They made him a kernel. (Popcorn Jokes)
  26. May 28th National Hamburger Day: Why are Wendy’s hamburgers square?… Because they don’t cut corners. (Geometry Jokes)

June Jokes / Top 10 June Jokes

Top June Jokes

  1. June 1st: Someone told me today is June 1st. But they May be wrong.
  2. Principal: I’ve had to send you to the principal every day this week. What do you have to say for yourself? Student: I’m glad it’s the last day of school! (Principal Jokes for Kids & Jokes for the Last Day of School)
  3. June 3rd National Egg Day: I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. (Egg Jokes)
  4. June 4th National Cheese Day: What do you call cheese that is sad?… Blue cheese. (Psychology Jokes)
  5. June 5th National Donut Day: What is a pilot’s favorite type of donut?…. A plain (plane) donut! (Donut Jokes)
  6. June 6th National Trails Day: Did hear the mountain joke?… You won’t get over it! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  7. I ordered a high school graduation cake for my son…. The baker asked me what I wanted it to say. Wow, talking cakes, who knew? (Cake Jokes & Graduation Jokes)
  8. June 8th World Oceans Day: What kind of candy would a drowning person like to have?… A life saver! (Candy Jokes)
  9. I was surprised when a friend said he’ll work at KFC right after high school graduation.. Out of curiosity, I asked him why. All he said was, “It’s on my bucket list.” (Fast Food Jokes / Graduation Jokes / Chicken Jokes)
  10. Why is a traffic light red?…You would be red too if you were changing in front of people all day. (180 School Jokes)
  11. Knock knock!… Who’s there?… Doughnut. Doughnut Who?… Doughnut forget to hire a tutor to avoid the Summer Slide(Donut Jokes)
  12. Where does a burger go on hiking?… The Swiss (cheese) Alps! (World Geography Jokes & Hamburger Jokes)
  13. How is a flag like Santa Claus?… They both hang out at the pole! (Christmas Jokes for Kids)
  14. June 14th Flag Day Jokes: Teacher: “How did the Founding Fathers decide on our country’s flag?” Student: “I guess they took a flag poll!” (American Revolution Jokes)
  15. Summer Camp Jokes: Which letter is the coolest at summer camp?… Iced t. (26 Lessons for the Letter of the Week A- Z & Ice-T Jokes)
  16. June 21st: Summer Solstice Jokes: What do you call a French guy in sandals?… Phillipe Phloppe. (Flip Flop Jokes for Kids & Geography Jokes for Kids)
  17. June 21st: World Music Day: What kind of summer camp would a toilet, a mountain lion, and a watermelon all go to?… A John Cougar Melon Camp (Watermelon Jokes / Music Jokes / Summer Camp Jokes)
  18. Where do sharks go on summer vacation?… Finland! (Shark Jokes for Kids)
  19. Father’s Day Jokes: What is the official dessert of Father’s Day?… a “pop” sicle. (Summer Jokes for Kids & Popsicle Jokes for Kids)
  20. Father’s Day Jokes: Son: For $20, I’ll be good…Dad: Oh, yeah?  When I was your age, I was good for nothing.
  21. What did the dentist give to the marching band?…A TUBA toothpaste (180 School Jokes)
  22. What did the bottle of dressing say to the person who opened the refrigerator door?…“SHUT THE DOOR!” I’m dressing! (180 School Jokes)
  23. Did I tell you the joke about the ceiling?… Oh forget it. It’s over your head. (180 School Jokes)
  24. What did the Pacific Ocean say to the Atlantic Ocean?… Nothing, it just waved! (World Oceans Day)
  25. Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?… He didn’t have a leg to stand on! (World Oceans Day)
  26. Which colonists told the most jokes?… Punsylvanians! (Top 50 State Jokes & 4th of July Jokes for Kids)
  27. Teacher “More than 200 years ago, our forefathers defeated the British in the Revolutionary War.”… Student “Wow! They must have been pretty strong, four men defeating a whole army!” (Social Studies Jokes & 4th of July Jokes for Kids)
  28. Do they have a 4th of July in England?…Yes. That’s how they get from the 3rd to the 5th. (4th of July Quiz & 4th of July Jokes for Kids)
  29. What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for?…Liberty! (American Revolution Jokes & 4th of July Jokes for Kids)
  30. What did King George think of the American colonists?…He thought they were revolting! (American Revolution Jokes & 4th of July Jokes for Kids)
  31. (4th of July Jokes for Kids)

July Jokes / Top 10 July Jokes

  1. Fireworks Jokes for Kids
  2. Hot Dog Jokes)
  3. Donut Jokes
  4. Watermelon Jokes for Kids
  1. I’m good at firework displays. I’ve got a flare for it. (Labor Day Jokes for Kids & Fireworks Jokes)
  2. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Sadie… Sadie, who?… Sadie Pledge of Allegiance — it’s the Fourth of July! (1st Day of School Jokes Jokes for the Last Day)
  3. What dance was very popular in 1776?…Indepen-dance! (American Revolution Jokes)
  4. How come there’s no Knock Knock joke about America?… Because freedom rings. (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids)
  5. Full Moon Jokes: What was the name of the first satellite to orbit the Earth?… The moon. (Astronomy Jokes for Kids)
  6. When do you go at red and stop at green?… When you’re eating a watermelon. (Summer Jokes for Kids)
  7. Why do watermelons have fancy weddings?…  Because they cantaloupe. (Wedding Jokes)
  8. What kind of summer camp would a toilet, a mountain lion, and a watermelon all go to?… A John Cougar Melon Camp! (Watermelon Jokes & Music Jokes)
  9. What race is never run?… A swimming race. (Summer Jokes for Kids)
  10. I watched hockey before it was cool. They basically were swimming. (Hockey Jokes)
  11. What is a pencil’s favorite sport?… Diving (the pencil dive)! (Pencil Jokes)
  12. July 12th (Top Twin Day Jokes
  13. How do dog catchers get paid?… By the pound! (Labor Day Jokes)
  14. July 14th Top 10 Bastille Day Jokes: Why were nobles decapitated during the French Revolution?… The peasants thought they were getting just too far a head.
  15. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog’s duties. “They use him to keep crowds back,” said one child. “No,” said another. “He’s just for good luck.” A third child brought the argument to a close. “They use the dogs,” she said firmly, “to find the fire hydrants.” (Grandparent Jokes)
  16. Top Summer Jokes
  17. Top Summer Jokes
  18. Did you hear the joke about the baseball?… It will leave you in stitches! (All-Star Baseball Game Jokes)
  19. Where were the first French Fries made?… In Greece! (National French Fry Day Jokes)
  20. Did you see the movie about the hot dog?… It was an Oscar Wiener. (National Hot Dog Day Jokes)
  21. National Junk Food Day Jokes: What kind of bear has no teeth?… A gummy bear! (Candy Jokes)
  22. Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?… Because their kids have to play inside! Top Summer Jokes
  23. Two wrongs don’t make a right. But what do two WRIGHTS make?…A plane (Orville and Wilbur WRIGHT)! (180 School Jokes)
  24. Why was the strawberry sad?…His mother got into a JAM!
  25. What do you call cheese that is not yours?…NACHO cheese!
  26. Teacher: Everybody hand in your homework, please. Students: Teacher, it’s the first day of school. We didn’t have any homework. Teacher: That’s right, and that’s the last excuse for not doing your homework that I’ll accept for the rest of the year.
  27. Student: The first day of school is always special to me. It’s the only day of the year when I’m not behind in my homework.
  28. Mother: How did you find school on the 1st day today? Daughter: I just got off the bus and there it was!
  29. A book never written: “When Does School Start?” by Wendy Belrings.The first day of school is exciting, but so is riding a roller coaster, and I wouldn’t want to do that for nine months in a row either.
  30. Teacher: What would happen if you took the school bus home? Student: The police would make you bring it back!
  31. July 31st JK Rowling’s Birthday On a scale from one to ten, how excited are you it is JK Rowling’s Birthday?… About nine and three quarters. (Harry Potter Jokes)
  32. Teacher: What’s big and yellow and comes in the morning to brighten a mother’s day? Student: The school bus!
  33. Knock Knock… Who’s there!… B-4!… B-4 who?… B-4 you go to school, do your homework!
  34. Teacher: I see you missed the first day of school. Student: Yes, but I didn’t miss it much.
  35. The first day of school wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t followed by the second day of school, and the third day of school, and then the fourth day of school.
  36. Knock Knock!… Who’s there?… Dewey….Dewey who?… Dewey have to go to school today?
  37. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Gladys… Gladys, who?… Gladys the 1st day of school — no homework!
  38. Knock Knock… Who’s there!… B-2! B-2 who?…. B-2 school on time!
  39. What kind of tree does a math teacher climb?… Geometry. (Top Math Jokes)
  40. Why is 6 afraid of 7?… Because 7 8 (ate) 9! (Top Math Jokes)
  41. Son: Today my teacher yelled at me for something I didn’t do. Mom: What was that? Son: My homework!
  42. What school supply is always tired?… A knapsack!What is white when it’s dirty and black when it’s clean?… A blackboard!
  43. Son: Hey, Mom, I got a hundred in school today! Mom: That’s great. What in?Son: A 40 in Reading and a 60 in Spelling.

August Jokes for Kids & Top 10 Jokes for Each Month

  1. Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gust of wind over 74 MPH could be the start of a hurricane! (Hurricane Jokes)
  2. August 4th: Chocolate Chip Cookie DayWhy do basketball players love chocolate chip cookies?… Because they can dunk them! (Basketball Jokes & Coaching Youth Basketball)
  3. August 3rd: Shark Week Which sharks do you find in heaven?… Angel sharks. (Top 10 Shark Jokes)
  4. August 4th: Chocolate Chip Cookie Day: What kind of keys do kids like to carry?… Chocolate Chip Cookies!
  5. Shark Week What do you call a solitary shark?… A “lone” (loan) shark. (Top 10 Shark Jokes)
  6. Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… Augustus was a Roman statesman and military leader who was the first emperor of the Roman Empire, reigning from 27 BC until his death in AD 14.
  7. Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gust of wind over 74 MPH could be the start of a hurricane! (Hurricane Jokes)
  8. August 9th: Shark Week What does a shark like to eat with peanut butter sandwiches?… Jellyfish. (Peanut Butter Jokes& Top 10 Shark Jokes)
  9. August 9th: Shark Week Which sharks would you find at a construction site?… Hammerhead sharks. (Top 10 Shark Jokes)
  10. August 8th Back to School Jokes: A book never written: “When Does School Start?” by Wendy Belrings.
  11. Back to School Jokes: Student: The first day of school is always special to me. It’s the only day of the year when I’m not behind in my homework. (Jokes for the 1st Day of School)
  12. Why is Alabama the smartest state?… Because it has 4 A’s and 1 B! (Top 50 State Jokes)
  13. Back to School Jokes: Mother: How did you find school on the 1st day today? Daughter: I just got off the bus and there it was! (Mother’s Day Jokes)
  14. August 12th: World Elephant Day: Why didn’t the elephant buy a suitcase for his summer vacation?… Because he already had a trunk! (Elephant Jokes for Kids)
  15. Full Moon Jokes: Why wasn’t the moon hungry?… Because it was full! (Astronomy Jokes for Kids &Full Moon Names & Meanings 1)
  16. Back to School Jokes: The first day of school is exciting, but so is riding a roller coaster, and I wouldn’t want to do that for nine months in a row either.
  17. Back to School Jokes: Teacher: What would happen if you took the school bus home? Student: The police would make you bring it back! (Police Jokes for Kids)
  18. Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who? A gust of wind knocked me over!
  19. Back to School Jokes:
  20. Two wrongs don’t make a right. But what do two WRIGHTS make?…A plane (Orville and Wilbur WRIGHT)! (180 School Jokes)
  21. What do you call cheese that is not yours?…NACHO cheese!
  22. Where does a fish go to borrow money?… The loan shark!
  23. June 14th Flag Day: What did on flag say to the other flag?… Nothing. It waved! (Flag Day Jokes)
  24. Best War of 1812 Book Never Written:… “The Star- Spangled Banner” by Jose Kanusee. (Flag Day Jokes)
  25. Teacher: Johnny, what are the last words of “The Star-Spangled Banner”?… Student: “Play ball”? (Flag Day Jokes)
  26. A Great American Book Never Written: “The Parts of the National Anthem” by Homer D. Brave. (Flag Day Jokes)
  27. What did the Buffalo say to his son?… Bye-son (Father’s Day Jokes)
  28. What do you call your dad when he falls through the ice?A POPsicle! (Father’s Day Jokes)
  29. A Father’s Day book never written: “Fatherly Advice” by Buck L. Upson.(Father’s Day Jokes)
  30. Why do fathers who golf take an extra pair of socks?…In case they get a hole in one! (Father’s Day Jokes)
  31. June 21st Father’s Day: Science teacher: When is the boiling point reached?…Science student:When my father sees my report card! (Father’s Day Jokes)
  32. Son: For $20, I’ll be good… Dad: Oh, yeah?  When I was your age, I was good for nothing. (Father’s Day Jokes)
  33. Dad: You’ll never amount to anything because you procrastinate… Son: Oh yeah? Just you wait! (Father’s Day Jokes)
  34. What is a @NCTM math teacher’s favorite sum?… Summer! (Top Summer Jokes)
  35. Why do bananas use sunscreen?… Because they peel. (Top Summer Jokes)
  36. Where do sharks go on summer vacation?… Finland! (Top Summer Jokes)
  37. What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer’s day?… I’m bacon! (Top Summer Jokes)
  38. Did you hear the joke about the Liberty Bell?…Yeah, it cracked me up! (Top 10 4th of July Jokes)
  39. What did King George think of the American colonists?…He thought they were revolting! (Top 10 4th of July Jokes)
  40. Do they have a 4th of July in England?… Yes. That’s how they get from the 3rd to the 5th. (Top 10 4th of July Jokes4th of July Quiz)
  41. What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware?… Get in the boat, men!” (Top 10 4th of July Jokes4th of July Quiz)
  42. What do you call an AWESOME American drawing by a child?… A Yankee Doodle Dandy! (Top 40 4th of July Jokes)