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More Thanksgiving Jokes…

  1. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Gladys… Gladys who?…. Gladys Thanksgiving. Aren’t you? (Thanksgiving Knock Knock Jokes)
  2. If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflowers bring?… Pilgrims (The Mayflower Ship) (Spring Jokes)
  3. What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to?…Plymouth Rock! (Music Jokes & Pilgrim Jokes)
  4. What’s the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?… The turkey trot! (Turkey Jokes)
  5. With Coronavirus a big concern in 2020, what is the #1 side dish for Thanksgiving?…  Masked potatoes. (Doctor Jokes)
  6. I wasn’t going to visit my family this November, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I’m going home for the hollandaise. (Egg Jokes & Thanksgiving Jokes)
  7. If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?… Their AGE! (Grandparents Jokes)
  8. My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes … … but I told them I couldn’t quit “cold turkey.”
  9. Sister: Mom wants you to help us fix Thanksgiving dinner. Brother: Why? Is it broken?
  10. A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store for Thanksgiving Day, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”  “No, ma’am. They’re dead.” (Turkey Jokes & Cemetery Jokes)
  11. A first grade class was asked to write a paragraph called “What I’m thankful for on Thanksgiving.” Little Johnny’s began, “I am thankful that I’m not a turkey.” (Elementary School Jokes)
  12. A man buys a parrot, only to have it constantly insult him. He tries everything to make the parrot stop, but nothing works. Frustrated, the man puts the parrot in the freezer. After a few minutes the insults stop. The man thinks he might have killed the parrot, so he opens the freezer and takes the parrot out. The parrot is shivering. It stammers, “S-s-sorry for being r-r-rude. Please f-f-forgive me.” Then, after a moment, the parrot softly asks, “W-w-what exactly d-d-did the turkey do?” (Bird Jokes)
  13. A grandma was showing the children a painting of the Pilgrim Family on a Thanksgiving Day card that they had received and she commented, ‘The Pilgrim children enjoyed going to church with their mothers and fathers and praying to God.’ One of the grandson looked at her doubtfully and asked, ‘Then why is their father carrying that rifle?’ (Pilgrim Jokes / Grandparent Jokes / Hunting Jokes)
  14. What’s something usually insulting, but not on Thanksgiving?… A family member giving you the bird. (Bird Jokes)
  15. What did the apple say after Thanksgiving?… Good-pie everyone. (Apple Pie Jokes)
  16. What would mothers most like to make on Thanksgiving dinner?… Good restaurant reservations. (Mom Jokes)
  17. You think you’re crazy about Thanksgiving? You’ve got nothing on the turkeys. When Thanksgiving approaches, they literally lose their heads!
  18. What smells the best at a Thanksgiving dinner?… Your nose. (Biology Jokes)
  19. What’s the best song to sing when preparing your turkey?… “All About That Baste.” (Music Jokes)
  20. What band is great to listen to on Thanksgiving?… The Cranberries! (Music Jokes)
  21. What kind of tan did pilgrims get at the beach?… Puritan. (Summer Jokes & Pilgrim Jokes)
  22. What did one cranberry say to another at Thanksgiving?… Tis the season to be jelly!
  23. Which November Holiday is Dracula’s favorite?… Fangs-giving! (Halloween Jokes & November Jokes)
  24. What is the difference between a chicken and a turkey?… Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving!!
  25. Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive?… It had 24 carrots. (Farming Jokes)
  26. Why did the turkey bring a microphone to dinner?… He was ready for a roast. 
  27. What does Miley Cyrus eat for Thanksgiving?… Twerk-ey! (Music Jokes)
  28. Thanksgiving Motto:”Leftovers are for quitters!” (Black Friday Jokes)
  29. What is something that describes both political talk at and filling up your plate at Thanksgiving?… Choosing sides. (Election Jokes)
  30. What do you wear to Thanksgiving dinner?… A Har – VEST. (Fall Jokes)
  31. What’s the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?… The turKEY (Turkey Jokes)
  32. What can you call your brother who falls asleep after Thanksgiving dinner?… Your napkin. (Napping Jokes)
  33. What does a Pilgrim call his friends?… Pal-grims. (Pilgrim Jokes)
  34. What did the salad say to the butter who kept making jokes at the Thanksgiving dinner?… You’re on a roll. (Bread Jokes)
  35. What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving?…The letter “g”! (26 Lessons for the Letter of the Week A- ZIs Spelling Really Important?)
  36. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Norma Lee… Norma Lee who?… Norma Lee I don’t eat this much! (Thanksgiving Knock Knock Jokes)
  37. What did the sweet potato say when it was asked if it was hungry?… “Yes, I yam.” (Farming Jokes)
  38. What kind of ‘tude is appropriate at the Thanksgiving dinner?… Gratitude.
  39. What would Michael Scott say while passing a plate of vegetables at Thanksgiving?… “Boom! Roasted.”
  40. If Pilgrims traveled on the Mayflower, what do college students travel on?… Scholar ships. (College Jokes & Pilgrim Jokes)
  41. Why did Mom’s turkey seasoning taste a little off last year?… She ran out of thyme. (Mom Jokes)
  42. Why couldn’t the Thanksgiving entertainment band perform?… Somebody had eaten the drumsticks. (Music Jokes)
  43. What did Dad say when he was asked to say grace?… “Grace.” (Dad Jokes)
  44. What do you call a turkey on the day after Thanksgiving?… Lucky. (Turkey Jokes)
  45. What’s one thing that you’ll have in common with a teddy bear on Thanksgiving?… You’ll both be filled with stuffing. (Bear Jokes)
  46. What’s a turkey’s favorite dessert?… Apple gobbler. (Apple Jokes)
  47. Asked to write a composition entitled, “What I’m thankful for on Thanksgiving,” Little Johnny wrote, “I am thankful that I’m not a turkey.” (Grammar Jokes)
  48. Knock Knock… Who There?… Thanks forgiving!… Thanksgiving for what? Thanks for giving us this turkey. (Thanksgiving Knock Knock Jokes)
  49. What’s the difference between Election Day and Thanksgiving?… On Thanksgiving, you get a turkey for the day. On Election Day, you get a turkey for four years. (Election Jokes)
  50. Thanksgiving is the only holiday where you eat the mascot.
  51. bThe day after the holiday, what did the fridge say when it was asked, “Is everything alright over here?” “No, everything is all leftover here!” (Black Friday Jokes)
  52. How did the salt and pepper welcome all the guests?… By saying, “Seasoning’s greetings!” 
  53. What’s a potato’s favorite game to play?… MASH. 
  54. What makes every Thanksgiving meal extra-basic?… Pumpkin spice. (Pumpkin Jokes)
  55. Who should you invite to your Friendsgiving?… Your close group of Palgrims. (Pilgrim Jokes)
  56. What Thanksgiving treat is the most popular at the kids’ table?… Crayon-berry sauce. (Crayon Jokes)
  57. What makes Thanksgiving go as smoothly as possible?… When everyone has been given a designated (casse)role. 
  58. Why did the turkey cross the road twice?… To prove he wasn’t a chicken. 
  59. What would a turkey be called if it turned into a ghost?… Poultrygeist. (Ghost Jokes)
  60. What don’t you want to wear to Thanksgiving dinner?… A white shirt or high-waisted pants. 
  61. What’s the forecast for Thanksgiving, regardless of what the meteorologist says?… Sweater weather. (Fall Jokes & Rain Jokes)
  62.  What did the aunt say to her sulking son on Thanksgiving?… “You’re looking a little (Pil)grim.” (Pilgrim Jokes)
  63.  What should you say when your family begs you to stop making these jokes?… “I can’t quit cold turkey!”
  64. Why were the beans accused of being jealous of the other side dishes?… They were so green with envy. 
  65. How can you unlock the greatest Thanksgiving experience ever?… By making sure to bring the tur-key. (Turkey Jokes)
  66. Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving?… The turkey because he’s already stuffed! (Turkey Jokes)
  67. Why did the farmer run a steamroller over his potato field on Thanksgiving Day?… He wanted to make mashed potatoes. (Farming Jokes)
  68. Why do pilgrims pants keep falling down?… Because their belt buckles are on their hats!  (Pilgrim Jokes)
  69. What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?… Pumpkin pi. (Pi Day Jokes & Pumpkin Jokes)
  70. How did the Mayflower show that it liked America?… It hugged the shore! (Geography Jokes)
  71. How can you incorporate some hip-hop into your family’s gathering?… Bring some Salt-N-Pepa. (Music Jokes)
  72. When are turkeys the most grateful?… The day after Thanksgiving.
  73. On Thanksgiving, what does Dad have in common with an exhausted baseball player?… They’re both likely to fall asleep between plates. (Baseball Jokes & Napping Jokes)
  74. What key has legs and can’t open doors?… A turkey. (Turkey Jokes)
  75. What’s the most musical part of a turkey?… The drumstick! (Turkey Jokes & Music Jokes)
  76. Why did the police arrest the turkey?… They suspected it of fowl play! (Turkey Jokes & Police Jokes)
  77. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Tamara… Tamara who?… Tamara we’ll have turkey leftovers! (Turkey Jokes & Thanksgiving Knock Knock Jokes)
  78. What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son?… If your grandpa could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy! (Turkey Jokes Grandparents Jokes / Cemetery Jokes)
  79. What kind of face does a pilgrim make when he’s in pain?… Pil-grimace. (Pilgrim Jokes)
  80. What do you call a pilgrim’s vocabulary?… Pilgrammar. (Pilgrim Jokes & Grammar Jokes)
  81. What do you call a turkey that’s got no feathers?… Thanksgiving dinner.
  82. What is a turkey’s favorite dessert?… Peach gobbler! (Turkey Jokes Dessert Jokes / Georgia Jokes)
  83. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Arthur… Arthur who?… Arthur any leftovers?
  84. What is the theory of relativity?… Take Thanksgiving for example. The turkey gets stuffed, you get stuffed, but you’re relatively better off.
  85. What sound does a turkey’s phone make?… Wing! Wing! (Turkey Jokes)
  86. What sound does a limping turkey make?…“Wobble, wobble!” (Turkey Jokes)
  87. What happened when the turkey got into a fight?… He got the stuffing knocked out of him! (Turkey Jokes & Boxing Jokes)
  88. When the Pilgrims landed, where did they stand?… On their feet! (Geography Jokes)
  89. What do you call the age of a pilgrim?… Pilgrimage. (Pilgrim Jokes)
  90. What do you call it when it rains turkeys?… Foul weather! (Turkey Jokes & Rain Jokes)
  91. “A new survey found that 80% of men claim they help cook Thanksgiving dinner. Which makes sense, when you hear they consider saying ‘that smells good’ to be helping.” Jimmy Fallon
  92. Why did the Pilgrims want to sail to America in the spring? … Because April showers bring Mayflowers! (Spring Jokes)
  93. How did Albert Einstein celebrate Thanksgiving?… He was very thinkful.
  94. Why didn’t the pilgrim want to make the bread?… It’s a crummy job. (Pilgrim Jokes & Bread Jokes)
  95. What did the turkey say before he was roasted?… “OK, spare me no insults. Roast me!”
  96. Why did the policeman stop you on your way home last Thanksgiving?… Because you far exceeded your feed limit.
  97. Why didn’t the turkey bake properly on Thanksgiving?… I’ve no idea but I suspect some fowl play.
  98. Mom, can I have a canary for Thanksgiving?… NO! You’ll have turkey like everyone else. (Turkey Jokes & Bird Jokes)
  99. Where do you find a turkey with no legs?… Exactly where you left it! (Turkey Jokes)
  100. If fruit comes from a fruit tree, where does turkey come from?… A poul-tree! (Turkey Jokes & Tree Jokes)
  101. What did the turkey say to the computer?…“Google, google, google.” (Turkey Jokes & Computer Jokes)
  102. What did the hipster say the day after Thanksgiving?… I liked the leftovers before they were cool.
  103. Why did the turkey cross the road?… It was Thanksgiving Day, and he wanted people to think he was a chicken! (Turkey Jokes)
  104. In what country is Thanksgiving ironically not celebrated?… Turkey. (World Geography Jokes & Turkey Jokes)
  105. If your great-grandmother saw you making boxed mashed potatoes … she would turn over in her gravy. (Grandparent Jokes Farming Jokes / Cemetery Jokes)
  106. If the pilgrims came on the Mayflower then what does the teacher come on?… The scholar ships. (Teacher Jokes & Pilgrim Jokes)
  107. What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?… “If your father could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy!” (Turkey Jokes)
  108. What do you call a running turkey?… Fast food! (Fast Food Jokes)
  109. Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk?… To hatchet. (Turkey Jokes & Easter Jokes)
  110. Why can’t you take a turkey to church?… Because they use such FOWL language. (Turkey Jokes)
  111. “Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.” Kevin James
  112. Why didn’t the cook season the Thanksgiving turkey?… There was no thyme!
  113. Which bird is best at bowling?… turkey. (Bowling Jokes)
  114. Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare. They are consumed in 12 minutes. Half-times take 12 minutes. This is not coincidence. Erma Bombeck
  115. Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?…Yes – a building can’t jump at all. (Top State Jokes & Turkey Jokes)
  116. About two weeks into November, the head turkey turns to his second-in-command and says, “I have a feeling something’s going down. The farmer just unfriended me on Facebook.”
  117. What’s the difference between a pirate and a cranberry farmer?… A pirate buries his treasure, but a cranberry farmer treasures his berries. (Pirate Jokes)
  118. “The turkey is dilated to 3.5 inches, stuffing is crowning, time to eat everybody!” That’s what happens at Thanksgiving when your mom is an obstetrician.
  119. What sound does a space turkey make?… Hubble, Hubble, Hubble. (Turkey Jokes & Astronomy Jokes)
  120. The native Indians were laughing at the Pilgrims for being so pale and never getting a proper tan. But they did get a tan. A puritan.
  121. Why did they let the turkey join the band?… Because he had the drumsticks. (Turkey Jokes & Music Jokes)
  122. What does Thanksgiving have in common with Halloween?… Gobble-ins! (Halloween Jokes)
  123. Which holiday is Dracula’s favorite?… Fangs-giving. (Vampire Jokes & Halloween Jokes)
  124. What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter on Thanksgiving Day?… “Quack! Quack!” (Turkey Jokes & Hunting Jokes)
  125. Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize?… Because he was out standing in his field! (Scarecrow Jokes & Farming Jokes)
  126. What does your uncle say when he’s had too much to drink?… “I’ve got my beer gobbles on!” (Beer Jokes)
  127. What does an English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning?… To be or not to be roasted, that is the question. (Turkey Jokes & Grammar Jokes)
  128. I prepared Thanksgiving dinner for guests from out of town. I cooked for many hours using recipes I’d found. But the turkey, I confess, was not a golden brown. I made a huge mistake and cooked it upside down.
  129. What is it called when a turkey fumbles in football?… A fowl play
  130. Why shouldn’t you look at the turkey dressing?… Because it will make him blush. 
  131. If a man wants to eat a turkey on Thanksgiving, what does a turkey want? It simply wants to run away.
  132. How are a turkey, a donkey, and a monkey alike?…They all have keys.
  133. What do turkeys like to do on sunny days?… Have peck-nics! 
  134. Why do turkeys lay eggs?…: Because if they dropped them, they would break.
  135. What did sick people do on the Mayflower?… They went to the dock!
  136. When do you serve tofu turkey?… Pranksgiving
  137. What do you call a holiday dinner without the parents?… Friendsgiving.
  138. Why did the turkey cross the road?… It was the chicken’s day off!
  139. What happened to the Pilgrim who was shot at by an Indian?… He had an arrow escape! (Pilgrim Jokes & Archery Jokes)
  140. What’s Frankenstein’s favorite Thanksgiving dish?… Monster mash potatoes and grave-y. (Halloween Jokes & Farming Jokes)
  141. Stop, drop, and… pass the rolls! (Bread Jokes)
  142. What are unhappy cranberries called?… Blueberries! (Psychology Jokes)
  143. Two cannibals are enjoying a Thanksgiving dinner and a light conversation about all things family. “I just can’t stand my mother-in-law,” sighs one. “That’s quite understandable,” nods the other one, “why don’t you just have the potatoes with the gravy?”
  144. Why do turkeys eat so little?… Because they are always stuffed.
  145. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Don… Don who?… Don eat all the gravy, I want some more. (Thanksgiving Knock Knock Jokes)
  146. What is a pumpkin’s favorite sport?… Squash (Squash Jokes & Fall Jokes)
  147. What part of the turkey does a drummer love the most?… The drumsticks. (Music Jokes)
  148. What role do green beans play in Thanksgiving dinner?… The casse-role.
  149. What animal has the worst eating habits?… The turkey, because it gobbles everything up!
  150. What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?… Straw-berries! (Scarecrow Jokes & Farming Jokes)
  151. Why did the farmer have to separate the chicken and the turkey?… He sensed fowl play. (Turkey Jokes & Farming Jokes)
  152. What can never ever be eaten for Thanksgiving dinner?… Thanksgiving breakfast.
  153. Thanksgiving. It’s like we didn’t even try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is, we overeat. ‘Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?’ ‘But we do that every day!’ ‘Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?’ Jim Gaffigan
  154. What do you call a stuffed animal?… You after thanksgiving.
  155. Why do turkeys always go, “gobble, gobble?”… Because they never learned good table manners! (Turkey Jokes)
  156. What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an evil spirit?… A poultrygeist! (Halloween Jokes& Turkey Jokes)
  157. Why did the cranberries turn red?… Because they saw the turkey dressing! (Turkey Jokes)
  158. What side dish do you bring for Thanksgiving dinner when you accidentally sat on the sweet potatoes?… Squash casserole. (Farming Jokes)
  159. What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo?… A turkey that can pluck itself! (Turkey Jokes & Music Jokes)
  160. What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus?… Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving. (Turkey Jokes)
  161. Wife: I was going to serve sweet potatoes with Thanksgiving dinner, but I sat on them. Husband: What are you serving now?… Squash. (Farming Jokes)
  162. What do modern day Native Americans call a pilgrim?… Pil-grim Reaper. (Pilgrim Jokes / Cemetery Jokes / Halloween Jokes)
  163. If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one?… Goblet. (Turkey Jokes)
  164. When did the Pilgrims first say, “God bless America?”… The first time they heard America sneeze.
  165. What’s the best way to stuff a turkey?… Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream. (Turkey Jokes/ Ice Cream Jokes / Pizza Jokes)
  166. What did the turkey say before it was roasted?… Boy! I’m stuffed! (Turkey Jokes)
  167. What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day?… God save the kin. (Turkey Jokes & Music Jokes)
  168. Why should you never set the turkey next to the dessert?… Because he will gobble, gobble it up! (Dessert Jokes)
  169. What did baby corn say to mama corn?… Where’s popcorn? (Popcorn Jokes & Father’s Day Jokes)
  170. Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?…The outside! (Turkey Jokes)
  171. Knock knock!… Who’s there?… Annie… Annie who?… Annie body seen the turkey? (Thanksgiving Knock Knock Jokes)
  172. What was the turkey suspected of?… Fowl play. (Turkey Jokes & Police Jokes)
  173. Which cat discovered America?… Christofurry Columbus (Columbus Day Jokes & Cat Jokes)
  174. What are the feathers on a turkey’s wings called?… Turkey feathers. (Turkey Jokes)
  175. What do you call Thanksgiving if you’re selfish?… Thanks-taking.
  176. What would be good about crossing a turkey with an octopus?… Everyone would get a drumstick on Thanksgiving. (Octopus Jokes)
  177. Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey at Thanksgiving?… Because they couldn’t fit the moose in the oven! (Turkey Jokes & Pilgrim Jokes)  (Thanksgiving Jokes)
  178. What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it?… Liberty, Equality and Bad aim for all. (Thanksgiving Jokes / American Revolution Jokes / Hunting Jokes / Turkey Jokes)
  179. What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede?… Drumsticks for everyone on Thanksgiving Day! 
  180. What happens when you’re too harsh on cranberries and make them sad?… They turn into blueberries.
  181. If Pilgrims traveled on the Mayflower, what do middle school students travel on? A: Scholar ships.