Doctor Jokes for Kids

by | May 15, 2019 | Latest News, School Jokes | 0 comments

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May Jokes for Kids & Funny Spring Jokes for Kids

  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best doctor jokes.
  2. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about doctors?
  3. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good doctor knock-knock joke?
  4. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good doctor knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  5. What did the queasy pumpkin say?… I don’t feel so gourd.
  6. What do you give to a sick lemon?… Lemon-aid.
  7. In a farmers market, Farmer A sells pumpkins, Farmer B sells strawberries, what does Farmer C sell?… Medicine. (Pumpkin Jokes & Farming Jokes)
  8. What’s the problem eating too much pumpkin pie this time of year?… You’ll get autumn’y ache.
  9. A guy walks into the doctor’s office. A banana stuck in one of his ears, a carrot in the other ear, and a baby pumpkin stuck in one nostril. The man says, “Doc, this is terrible. What’s wrong with me?” The doctor says, “Well, first of all, you need to eat more sensibly.”
  10. When asked how he was feeling, what did the pumpkin say?… I’m vine, thanks for asking.
  11. I studied to become a doctor, but I didn’t have enough patients for the job. (Labor Day Jokes)
  12. How is a healthy person like the United States?… They both have good constitutions! (Constitution Jokes)
  13. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says “If an emergency, notify:” I put “DOCTOR”. What’s my father going to do? (Father’s Day Jokes)
  14. Why did Mr. Peanut go to the hospital?… He was a salted. (Peanut Jokes)
  15. I read about a heartwarming story of several doctors performing overnight surgery on a giraffe’s knee… I guess it was a joint operation. (Giraffe Jokes)
  16. What’s worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?… A centipede with athlete’s foot. (Giraffe Jokes)
  17. What’s green and hangs from trees?… Giraffe snot. (Giraffe Jokes)
  18. Did you hear about the skater who broke his elbow?… It was rather humerus. (Skateboarding Jokes)
  19. My best friend busted his knee while skateboarding…. That must have hurt wheel bad. (Skateboarding Jokes)
  20. People always tell me to wear a helmet while skateboarding… I can’t even remember the last time I hit my head. (Skateboarding Jokes)
  21. My best friend says I can’t go skateboarding with a broken bone…. But I’m going out on a limb and do it anyway. (Tree Jokes & Skateboarding Jokes)
  22. Don’t fall off a skateboard with a guitar… You could break your neck. (Guitar Jokes & Doctor Jokes)
  23. People always tell me to wear a helmet while skateboarding… I can’t even remember the last time I hit my head. (Doctor Jokes)
  24. My dear old grandmother always used to say the way to a man’s heart was through his stomach…. That’s why she lost her job as a cardiac surgeon. (Labor Day Jokes & Doctor Jokes)
  25. What does a doctor normally say to skateboarders?… You’re sick. (Doctor Jokes)
  26. When should you take a Oreo cookie to the doctor?… When it feels crummy. (Oreo Cookie Jokes)
  27. The worst thing about sea sickness?… It comes in waves! (Ocean Jokes)
  28. Who do Clones visit when they’re sick?… Well it’s Anadin Skywalker if they have a headache …… and Commander Codeine if it’s a tickly cough. (May the 4th Be With You Jokes)
  29. Did you hear about the hockey player who became a surgeon?… He specialized in bury-hat-trick surgery. (Hockey Jokes)
  30. Where does the Cat in the Hat go when he’s sick?… To Dr. Seuss. (Cat Jokes & Doctor Jokes)
  31. I saw a picture online that had Dre, Seuss, and House cropped into the background… Clearly it had been doctored. (Dr. Seuss Jokes)
  32. What do you call a Dr. Seuss character with a medical degree?… Doctor Who. (Dr. Seuss Jokes)
  33. What do you call someone with a cold on Valentine’s Day?… Lovesick. (Funny Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  34. What do you call it when someone spreads germs all over your pizza?… Little Sneezers. (Pizza Jokes)
  35. Robin Hood went to see a doctor… he was diagnosed with Menintightis. (Robin Hood Jokes)
  36. I had an injection to prevent me from becoming Robin Hood… Yeah, it was the MenInTightus shot. (Robin Hood Jokes)
  37. Never make doctors appointments with a croissant… They’ll always flake out on you! (Croissant Jokes)
  38. Why is coronavirus like Groundhog Day?… If you stick your head outside and encounter another person, you get 6 more weeks of quarantine. (Ground Hog Day Jokes)
  39. Told the doctor I had a mince pie growing out of my head. He said he had some cream for it. (Pie Jokes)
  40. What does Winnie the Pooh say when he sneezes?… Ahh-ahh-POOH!! (Winnie the Pooh Jokes)
  41. Why did the snowman go to the doctor?… He had the chills! (Snowman Jokes)
  42. The doctor told me to get in a bathtub full of milk to soothe my sunburn. I asked him, “Pasteurized?” He said, “No, just up to your neck.” (Milk Jokes & Sun Jokes)
  43. After returning from the eye doctor, my dad started chugging milk straight from the carton. When asked why, he said, “The doctor told me I don’t need glasses.” (Milk Jokes)
  44. A man goes to the doctor with a carrot sticking out of his ear.. a banana in his other ear, spaghetti on his head and a sausage sticking out of his nose. He says “Doctor, I’m not feeling very well”. Doctor replies “Hmmm, I don’t think you’re eating properly.” (Spaghetti Jokes)
  45. What vaccination does Santa Claus get on Christmas Eve?… Shingles. (Christmas Eve Jokes)
  46. Why wouldn’t Santa ride his sleigh on Christmas Eve?… For elf and safety concerns. (Christmas Eve Jokes & Elf Jokes)
  47. What do you call a Hawaiian with a cold?… A Polysneezin. (Hawaii Jokes)
  48. On the first day of the deer hunting season, a hunter fell out of a deer stand and broke both his legs. “Why couldn’t this happen on my last day of hunting?!” the hunter cried to the doctor. “It did,” the doctor replied. (Hunting Jokes)
  49. What does Frosty the Snowman take when he gets sick?… A chill pill! (Frosty the Snowman Jokes)
  50. The nurse walked into the busy doctor’s office and said, “Doctor, the invisible man is here.” The doctor replied, “Sorry, I can’t see him.” (Halloween Jokes for Kids & Doctor Jokes)
  51. Did you hear about the hockey player who became a surgeon?… He specialized in bury-hat-trick surgery. (Hockey Jokes)
  52. Why do Doctors make the best Jedi?… Because a Jedi must have patience. (Star Wars Jokes)
  53. What do you give a dog with a fever?… Mustard, it’s the best thing for a hot dog. (Hot Dog Jokes)
  54. I ate too much cookie dough and got sick… It was an overdoughse. (Cookie Jokes)
  55. When Dr. Anthony Fauci plays baseball, what position is he?… Catcher, he can always wear a mask! (Baseball Jokes)
  56. With Coronavirus a big concern in 2020, what is the #1 side dish for Thanksgiving?…  Masked potatoes. (Thanksgiving Jokes)
  57. Where does the Easter Bunny study medicine? … John HOPkins. (Easter Jokes)
  58. What do you give a sick bird?… Tweetment. (Bird Jokes)
  59. Where does a canoe go when it’s sick?… To the DOCK! (Canoe Jokes for Kids & Doctor Jokes for Kids)
  60. Why did the leaf go to the doctor?… It was feeling green. (Earth Day & Tree Jokes)
  61. “I can’t be your Valentine for medical reasons.”…“Really?”… “Yeah, you make me sick!” (Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  62. Why did the cupcake go to the doctor’s office?… It was feeling crumby. (Cupcake Jokes)
  63. Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctors?… He was feeling crummy. (Christmas Jokes & Christmas Trivia)
  64. If an athlete gets athlete’s foot, what does an astronaut get?…Missile Toe! (Christmas Jokes / Christmas Trivia / Top 10 Sports Jokes)
  65. What do you call a person who is afraid of Santa Claus?… Claustrophobic. (Christmas Jokes & Christmas Trivia)
  66. My grandpa just walked into my room with a young guy wearing skinny jeans and eating avocado toast. I said, “Who is this guy?” Grandpa: “This is my hip replacement.” (Grandparent Jokes)
  67. I studied to become a doctor, but I didn’t have enough patients for the job. (Labor Jokes)
  68. What does a hammerhead shark call a headache?… A hammering head. (Shark Jokes)
  69. What do you call a dog with a fever?… A hot dog. (Hot Dog Jokes & Dog Jokes)
  70. What do you get when you cross a four-leaf clover with poison ivy?… A rash of good luck on St. Patrick’s Day. (St. Patrick’s Day Jokes)
  71. When does a doctor get mad?… When he runs out of patients!
  72. Why did the pillow go to the doctor?… He was feeling all stuffed up!
  73. Why did the doctor lose his temper?… Because he didn’t have any patients!
  74. What do you call a dog with a fever?… A hot dog. (Hot Dog Jokes)
  75. Why did the Dalmatian go to the eye doctor?… He kept seeing spots! (Dog Jokes)
  76. Where does a boat go when it’s sick?… To the dock! (Summer Jokes for Kids)
  77. What do you get when you eat Christmas ornaments?…  Tinsel-itis! (Christmas Jokes & Christmas Tree Jokes)
  78. If Jake has 30 chocolate bars, and eats 25, what does he have? Diabetes….. Jake has diabetes… (Candy Jokes)
  79. John threw one watermelon at Tim, what does Tim have now?… A concussion. (Watermelon Jokes)
  80. What did on tonsil say to the other tonsil?… Get dressed up, the doctor is taking us out!
  81. Did you hear the one about the germ?… Never mind, I don’t want to spread it around.
  82. What kept Avogadro in bed for two months?… Moleonucleosis. (Mole Day Jokes)
  83. Why did the computer go to the doctors?… It had a virus.
  84. What falls but never gets hurt?… The rain! (Spring Jokes)
  85. Why did the cookie go to the hospital?… He was feeling really crummy!
  86. What is the only thing that can cure a sick do-nut?… An antidought! (Donut Jokes)
  87. Did you hear the news that a lot of applications just came in from people looking to pursue a career as the government’s top-ranking medical official?… Yes, there was a surge in general.
  88. What does a pig put on a cut?… Oinkment
  89. Why was Santa’s little helper sad?… He had low elf esteem! (Christmas Jokes & Christmas Trivia)
  90. Why did the donut go to the doctor?… Because it was feeling crummy! (Donut Jokes for Kids)
  91. What did the coffee addict say to his doctor?…I don’t have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without it! (Doctor Jokes)
  92. What’s the opposite of coffee?… Sneezy. (Doctor Jokes)
  93. Friend: What are you going to give your little brother for Christmas this year? Other Friend: I haven’t decided yet. Friend: What did you give him last year? Other Friend: The measles. (Christmas Jokes)
  94. Why was the middle school textbook in the hospital?… Because it hurt his spine. (Middle School Jokes)
  95. Why did the bird go to the hospital?… It needed tweetment! (Bird Jokes & Doctor Jokes)
  96. Why did the donut go to the doctor?… Because it was feeling crummy! (Donut Jokes)
  97. Where can you find 100 doctors all at the same place on any given day?… A golf course! (Golf Jokes)