Croissant Jokes

by | Jan 22, 2020 | Latest News, School Jokes | 0 comments

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  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best croissant jokes.
  2. Why are croissant jokes always funny?…… Because they never get mold!
  3. I went to the zoo and saw a croissant in a cage… It was bread in captivity. (Bread Jokes & Zoo Jokes)
  4. It’s always so easy to get a rise out of my mother’s French sister… She’s a croissant. (World Geography Jokes)
  5. Why did the Croissants take the Donuts and Bagels to Disneyland?… They thought it would be fun for the hole family. (Donut Jokes & Disney Jokes)
  6. What do you get when you drop the croissant your aunt made?… A cross aunt.
  7. What did the croissant say to the coffee in the morning?… You’re just not my cup of tea. (Tea Jokes)
  8. My favorite phase of the moon is croissant moon! (Full Moon Jokes)
  9. What did the bag of flour say to the croissant?…… “I saw you yeasterday!”
  10. Why don’t croissants like warm weather?…… Things get Toasty! (Summer Jokes / Toast Jokes / Spring Jokes)
  11. What is the opposite of a croissant?… A happy uncle.
  12. How do you introduce a loaf of bread to your angry aunt?… Meatloaf croissant. (Bread Jokes)
  13. You can never trust a croissant to get things done… They’re super flakey.
  14. Why did the almond croissants sell out?… Everyone went nuts for them.
  15. What did the chef say when the croissant went missing?… It’s scone now.
  16. What did the croissant say to its chef?… Butter me up. (Butter Jokes)
  17. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe name a famous croissant song? (Canoe Jokes)
  18. What did the croissant say to the other pastries as it’s being sold off?… I will never dessert you. (Dessert Jokes)
  19. What did the croissant say to the bread as a goodbye?… Have a loafly day.
  20. How did the chef wish the croissant happy birthday?… Hope you have a berry happy birthday. (Birthday Jokes)
  21. Why was the almond croissant one of the top selections in the store?… It was a batch made in heaven.
  22. Why did the croissant think the doughnut is depressed?… It has a hole inside. (Donut Jokes)
  23. Why was the croissant depressed?… He suffered a mental bake-down. (Psychology Jokes)
  24. Why did the croissant go to the doctor?… He was feeling crummy. (Doctor Jokes)
  25. What did a croissant say after brushing his teeth?… I’m bready for bed. (Dentist Jokes & Bread Jokes)
  26. If croissants could talk… they’d probably speak French. (Bastille Day Jokes)
  27. What do you call a depressed pair of croissants?… Pain au pain. (Psychology Jokes)
  28. Why do croissants throw great parties?… Because they always they rise to the occasion.
  29. What did the croissant say to the slice of bread before the race?… You’re toast. (Bread Jokes & Track and Field Jokes)
  30. Croissant Pun: Croissants: The breakfast of cham-“pains.” (Breakfast Jokes)
  31. What’s a croissant’s favorite day of the week?… Yeast-erday!
  32. Croissants are just a piece of cake for me to bake. (Cake Jokes)
  33. What did the croissant say when breaking up with his girlfriend?… You deserve butter. (Butter Jokes)
  34. A croissant is like the sun… it rises in the yeast. (Sun Jokes)
  35. What’s a croissant’s favorite song lyric?… Another one bites the crust. (365 Music Jokes)
  36. The French couple decided to exchange croissants as anniversary gifts… They were a dough-rable.
  37. The French couple decided to exchange croissants as wedding gifts… They were a dough-rable. (Wedding Jokes)
  38. What did the croissant say while in the hospital?… Au pain. (Doctor Jokes)
  39. What does making too many croissant puns lead to?… Self-loaving. (Psychology Jokes)
  40. How does croissants remember things?… It uses Toast-It notes. (Toast Jokes)
  41. What did the croissant say to the pretzel?… You’re such a weird-dough. (Pretzel Jokes)
  42. Why did the croissant and bread fall in love?… Love is all you knead. (Bread Jokes)
  43. Why did the croissant and bread get married?… Love is all you knead. (Wedding Jokes)
  44. Who is married to my mean uncle?… My croissant. (Wedding Jokes)
  45. Why was the croissant never cold?… He had many layers.
  46. Croissant Pun: Don’t live in despair, just say “oui” to croissants. (Bastille Day Jokes)
  47. Croissant Pun: Even on my worst days, there’s always a croissant.
  48. Two croissants are in an oven and one says, “Wow, it’s hot in here!” and the other croissant says, “Oh my gosh, a talking croissant!”
  49. What do the croissant say to the chicken?…… LETS GET BREADDDDYYY TO CRUMMBBLLEEEEE! (Bread Jokes)
  50. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you teach me how to make a croissant. (Canoe Jokes)
  51. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you buy me a croissant. (Canoe Jokes)
  52. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you share your croissant with me. (Canoe Jokes)
  53. I just put my hair in a bun. It wasn’t very good… I think I’ll try it with a croissant next time. (Barber Jokes)
  54. What is the most delicious number in French? Cent? Deux cent? Trois cent?… C’est croissant! (Bastille Day Jokes) 
  55. 1st worker: “I am still tired from all the CrossFit this morning.” Co-worker: “iIt’s pronounced ‘Croissant’ and you ate 4 of them.” (Labor Day Jokes)
  56. What do you call it when two croissants made at the same time fall in love?… A batch made in heaven.
  57. Two croissants walking across Union Street. one gets hit by a bus. The other one says, Oh Crumbs! (Bus Jokes)
  58. Two croissants walking across Union Street. one gets hit by a train. The other one says, Oh Crumbs! (Train Jokes)
  59. What’s a croissant’s favorite musical note?… B flat, like its dough before the oven! (365 Music Jokes)
  60. Two croissants walking across Union Street. one gets hit by a bus. The other one says, Oh Crumbs! (Bus Jokes)
  61. Croissant Pun: My life’s goal?… To be as rich as a butter croissant. (Butter Jokes)
  62. What happens if you mix a croissant and a sourdough… A cross-bread. (Bread Jokes)
  63. When I was a kid, my parents would always say “Excuse my French” after a swear word… I’ll never forget that first day at school when the teacher asked did we know any French. (Jokes for Teachers)
  64. A danish, a cornbread piece, and a croissant plays Dungeons and Dragons… I guess you can say they are roll playing. (Dragon Jokes)
  65. Why did the two croissants run away from the bakery?… They wanted to grow mold together.
  66. What did the croissant say to the other croissant?… Everything I dough, I dough it for you.
  67. What do you call an angry pastry?… A croissant!
  68. Why didn’t the cupcake talk to the croissant?… Because he had muffin to say. (Cupcake Jokes)
  69. I never make doctors appointments with a croissant… They’ll always flake out on you! (Doctor Jokes)
  70. Why do bakers give women on special occasions?…… Flours! (Valentine’s Day Jokes & Flower Jokes)
  71. Why didn’t the cupcake talk to the croissant?… Because he had muffin to say.  (Cupcake Jokes)
  72. What’s Austrian and took over France?… Croissants! (World Geography Jokes)
  73. Why did the croissants hang out on a street corner?… They were just loafing around. (Bread Jokes)
  74. A worker hits a convenience store on the way home, and buys some juice, a sausage croissant, and a scratcher. Once outside he scratches the card, and wins $400 dollars. The guy collects his winnings and heads home. When he arrives, he asks his wife “What would you do if I won the lottery?” She replies “I’d take half the money and leave you.” “Great! I just won $200 tonight, here’s $100 — enjoy your half.” (Marriage Jokes & Divorce Jokes)
  75. Croissant Pun: Bakers make life a little sweeter, and croissants a lot flakier.
  76. Croissant Pun: Stressed is just “desserts” spelled backward. So, have a croissant! (Dessert Jokes)
  77. Croissant Pun: These croissants are on a roll!
  78. Croissant Pun: The flakier the croissant, the better the day.
  79. Croissant Pun: Butter believe I love croissants. (Butter Jokes)
  80. Croissant Pun: Be like a croissant, rise above it.
  81. Croissant Pun: I don’t want to spread rumors… but these croissants are a bit too kneady.
  82. Did you hear the joke about the croissant?… It’s flaky but it has a good rise!
  83. What do you call French macaroni?… Sbaguete and croissant. (Bastille Day Jokes) 
  84. What do you call your father’s angry French sister?… Your croissant. (Bastille Day Jokes) 
  85. What life advice did the croissant provide?… Life can be a little flakey.
  86. What did the croissant say to the bread as a goodbye?… Have a loafly day. (Bread Jokes)
  87. What did mama croissant say to her children?… It’s way past your bread time. (Mom Jokes)
  88. What did the croissant say to his girlfriend?… I loaf you.
  89. What do you call a croissant that does well in school?… A smart dough! (365 Teacher Jokes)
  90. What did the croissant say to her boyfriend?… I loaf you.
  91. That butter had better not loaf around… We’ve got croissants to make! (Butter Jokes)
  92. What did the croissant give to his girlfriend?… Flours.
  93. What’s a croissant’s favorite exercise?… The roll-up!
  94. How does a croissant apologize?… It butters you up! (Butter Jokes)
  95. How does a croissant ask for a date?… It butters you up! (Butter Jokes)
  96. Why do croissants make terrible secret agents?… Because they crack under pressure!
  97. Why did the croissant go to therapy?… It couldn’t handle the pressure of always being flaky! (Psychology Jokes)
  98. What happens if a croissant forgets its umbrella?… It’ll get soaking wheat all over. (Rain Jokes)
  99. What did the tiered cake say to a tray of croissants that fell?… Get batter soon. (Cake Jokes)
  100. Some things in life are more or less similar to baking croissants so what can we do?… Just roll with them.
  101. Croissant Pun: That’s the yeast of my worries, said the croissant.
  102. How do I like my eggs?… In a croissant. (Egg Jokes)
  103. I wanted a plain croissant but got a chocolate one… life’s full of sweet surprises.
  104. A croissant and a baguette are having a race. What’s the best way to start the race?… Ready, bready, go. (Track and Field Jokes)
  105. The secret to a great croissant?… You knead a little love.
  106. A day without a croissant is like… Just kidding, I have no idea!
  107. Getting straight to the bread and butter of the issue, I love croissants.
  108. Croissant Pun: Life is butter with croissants. (Butter Jokes)
  109. How do you make a croissant laugh?… Tell it a “rye” joke! (Bread Jokes)
  110. You know how to butter me up, said the croissant to the knife. (Butter Jokes)
  111. The best thing since sliced bread?… Croissants! (Bread Jokes)
  112. Who does a croissant bring to a party?… Its butter half! (Butter Jokes)
  113. What did the customer say when they look at the croissant?… What a breadtaking sight. (Bread Jokes)
  114. What did the croissant say to the fighting bakers?… Don’t fold a grudge.
  115. I’m on a roll today… just like a fresh batch of croissants. (Bread Jokes)
  116. Croissant Pun: If a croissant can roll with it, so can you. (Bread Jokes)
  117. What did the croissant tell the chef who is upselling to another customer?… Don’t sugarcoat it.
  118. When baking, how do you tell when the croissant is done?… It flakes.
  119. What did the croissant say when they play hide and seek? …Whenever you’re bready. (Bread Jokes)
  120. Why can’t croissant dough hold a steady job?… Because it’s always getting baked. (Labor Day Jokes)
  121. Croissant Pun: Baguette about it, nothing beats a croissant!
  122. How did the croissant become a detective?… It had a knack for rolling up the evidence! (Police Jokes)