365 Teacher Jokes

My Town Tutors is a great resource for parents & teachers. Find qualified tutors in your area today!

Top 10 Spring Jokes: If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflower’s bring?… Pilgrims! (Social Studies Jokes & Rain Jokes)
May 1st: Top 10 May Day Jokes: Did you hear Ted Danson is the spokesperson for May Day… Of course, he played Sam “May Day” Malone in the sitcom Cheers. (Baseball Jokes)
May 4th: Top 10 May the Fourth Be With You Jokes: When did Anakin’s Jedi masters know he was leaning towards the dark side?… In the Sith Grade. (180 School Jokes)
May 5th Cinco De Mayo Jokes: Cinco de Mayo is here!… Let’s give ’em something to taco bout! (Taco Jokes)
Nurse Jokes
Why was the glow worm teacher unhappy?… Her students weren’t bright enough. (180 School Jokes & Worm Jokes)
Son: My teacher says I have to write more clearly. Mom: That’s a good idea. Son: No, it’s not. Then she’ll know I can’t spell. (Teacher Jokes)

January Jokes for Teachers

What do you call a croissant that does well in school?… A smart dough!

February 29th: My teacher wasn’t going to celebrate Leap Day… But he decided to jump on the band wagon. (365 Teacher Jokes)

March Jokes for Teachers / March Jokes / Spring Jokes for Teachers

March 1st: I asked my student when her birthday was and she said March 1st… Been marching for half an hour now, and she still hasn’t told me. (Birthday Jokes)
March 2nd: Top 10 Dr. Seuss Jokes: What do you call someone who watches you take a test while wearing a vest?… Proctor Seuss. (Jokes for Teachers)
What is the Cat in the Hat’s favorite school subject?… HISStory. (Cat Jokes & Social Studies Jokes)
March 4th National Grammar Day: I once fell in love with someone who only knew 4 vowels… They didn’t know I existed. (Funny Valentine’s Day Jokes)
March 4th: What did the teacher say to the students when they lined up to leave school?… March 4th! (Memorial Day Jokes & Veterans’ Day Jokes)
March 6th: Oreo CookieDay: Why do high school basketball players love oreo cookies?… Because they can dunk them! (March Madness Jokes & Oreo Cookie Jokes)
March 7th National Cereal Day: In the morning… I become a cereal killer.
What grade did the Cat in the Hat get on his math test?… A Purrrr-fect score! (Math Jokes for Kids & Cat Jokes)
March 9th National Meatball Day: In life, we should all aim to be like Italian meatballs… Well seasoned and well rounded.
2023 Prom Jokes: 23 Funny Prom Jokes: How does a coniferous tree get ready for a prom?… They spruce themselves up. (Tree Jokes)
Student: Can I go to the bathroom? Teacher: It’s may. Student: No, it’s March! (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
March 12th: Day Light Savings Jokes: Most modern clocks these days auto-update when daylight savings begins/ends. So this morning I’m walking around my house thinking wow… …times have changed.
March 14th Pi Day Jokes for Teachers: Statistics show that 3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates. (Pirate Jokes)
March 14th: Daylight Savings Time: Why did the veteran teacher nearing retiring throw the clock out the window?… She wanted to see time fly!
March 15th: Ides of March Jokes: How are you celebrating the Ides of March?… Little Caesars! (Pizza Jokes)
How did the Grinch know to average all of the presents he stole, so that each Who in Whoville got the same amount returned to them?… He’s a mean one, Mr. Grinch. (Math Jokes for Kids)Pi Day…. Come to think of it, we wouldn’t mind celebrating forever.
March 17th St. Patrick’s Day Jokes for Teachers: Knock Knock …. Who’s there? ….Irish!… Irish Who? …. Irish you were a better student.
March 18th: World Sleep Day Jokes: Did you hear about the kidnapping in middle school?…. He’s still sleeping!
What is the difference between a comma and the Cat in the Hat?… One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause. (Grammar Jokes & Cat Jokes)
March 20th 1st Day of Spring Jokes: A gardening store sign: We’re so glad spring is here, we wet our
Don’t let advanced math intimidate you! It’s as easy as pi!
What is the official animal of Pi Day?… The pi-thon. (Snake Jokes)
What is a math teacher’s favorite dessert?… Pi! (Pie Jokes & Math Jokes for Teachers)
If March 14th is really Pi Day… it will never end.
Apologies, but most of these pi jokes are about being irrational.
Teacher #1: My new student is from Ireland. Teacher #2: Oh, really? …. Teacher #1: No, O’Reilly!
Did you know my math teacher is from Ireland?… He is “Pi” – rish! (Pi Day Jokes for Teachers)
Why do teachers wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day? …. Regular rocks are too heavy.
March 30th National Pencil Day: If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why isn’t it #1? (Jokes for Teachers)
March 31st: National Prom Day: What does this joke and a overcrowded prom have in common?… One really bad punch line. (Dad Jokes)
March 31st National Crayon Day Jokes: Elementary School Motto: Keep calm, Crayon. (Jokes for Teachers & Elementary School Jokes)
Covid Lockdown: I’m not talking to myself… I’m having a parent-teacher conference.

April Jokes / Top 10 April Jokes

April 1st: April Fools’ Day Jokes for Teachers: Student: Do you know all about April 1st? Teacher: Yes, I’m fooly aware of it!
April 2nd Teacher in the Teachers’ Lounge: Nobody pranked me on the 1st of April……..but that’s fine, my life is already a joke. (April Fool’s Day Jokes)
April 1st: National Walking Day: Two men are walking through a graveyard with their dogs. One man turns to the other and says ‘Morning’ The other man replies ‘No, just walking the dog.” (Cemetery Jokes for Kids & Walking Jokes)
Why are teachers and students so tired on April 1?…. Because they’ve just finished a long, 31 day March!
I think my calendar is broken…Haha, April Fools! It works just fine. (April Fool’s Day Jokes)
April 5th: National Burrito Day Jokes: What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?… Nacho cheese!
For April fools my school replaced the alphabits with Cheerios…. I have no words to say how angry I am. (April Fool’s Day Jokes & Cereal Jokes)
Compare and Contrast Question: What’s the difference between Thanksgiving and April Fool’s Day?… On one you’re thankful and on the other you’re prankful! (Halloween Jokes & Thanksgiving Jokes)
What’s the best day for monkey business at school?… The first of Ape-ril! (Monkey Jokes)
What’s the best day for monkeying around in class?… The first of Ape-ril! (Monkey Jokes)
April 10th National Sibling Day Jokes: What do you call brothers who love math?… Alge-bros
April 11th: National Pet Day Jokes: How did the little Scottish puppy feel when he saw a monster?… Terrier-fied! (Halloween Jokes)
April 12th: Easter Jokes: What do Easter Bunny helpers get for making a basket?… Two points, just like anyone else. (Basketball Jokes)
April 13th: Friday the 13th Jokes: What do get when you cross Jason Voorhees and a box of cherrios?… A cereal killer. (Cereal Jokes)
April 16th: Patriots’ Day Jokes: What was the Patriots’ favorite food in the Revolutionary War? … Chicken Catch-a-Tory!2020 was an interesting leap year… There was 29 days in February, 300 days in March and 5 years in April. (Leap Year Jokes)
Me and my high school crush are marrying next year… Hers is in April and mine in July! (Wedding Jokes & Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about April? (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
Why is everyone so tired on April 1?… Because they’ve just finished a long, 31 day March! (Spring Jokes & Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflower’s bring?… Pilgrims! (Social Studies Jokes & Rain Jokes)
If January threw a parade would February March?… No but April May! (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
When do monkeys fall from the sky?… During Ape-ril showers! (April Jokes & Monkey Jokes)
Full Moon Jokes: How did the ocean say hello to the sun after the eclipse?… It waved. (Ocean Jokes for Kids & Sun Jokes)
April 22nd: Earth Day Jokes for Teachers: How do trees get on the internet?… They log in. (Arbor Day Jokes)
Can February March? … No, but April May! (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
What can be seen in the middle of the months ‘April’ and ‘March’, that cannot be seen in the beginning or end of either month?… the letter “r.” (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month & 26 Lessons for the Letter of the Week A- Z)
April 25th World Penguin Day: How do penguins pass tests?… They wing it.
A man walks up to the counter. “Two pairs of underwear please.” The man behind the counter looks at him in disbelief. “Only two pairs of underwear?” “Yup. I wear one while the other is in the wash.” The man behind the counter looks at him in disgust, then rings out his order. A second man walks in. “5 pairs of underwear please.” “Only 5 eh?” “Yeah, I wear one for every weekday, then go commando all the weekend.” The man behind the counter shakes his head. “Well, you’re better then the last guy!” A third man walks in. “7 pairs of underwear please.” “Finally, a man who knows hygiene!” “Yes, I do try. One for every day, and I do my laundry on Sunday.” At the end of the day, a fourth man walks into the underwear store. “12 pairs of underwear please.” “Wow! You must be really clean!” The man smiles. “Yup, that’s me! Err, hang on, let me see if I counted right. January, February, March, April…” (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
I celebrate 4/20 on January 5th… Because I know how to reduce fractions unlike the rest of you morons. ((Math Jokes for Teachers & Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
Clean Prom Jokes: What did the swordfish say to the marlin on prom night?… Looking sharp!
Why are cheerleaders never late for class?… They know how to stick to a routine. (Cheerleading Jokes)

May Jokes for Teachers

May 1st National Principal’s Day: Principal Jokes for Kids: Students going to the Homecoming Dance: Knock Knock!… Who’s there?… Dewey….Dewey who?… Dewey have to take a breathalizer? (Police Jokes & Homecoming Jokes)
Science teacher: When is the boiling point reached?… Science student: When my father sees my report card! (Teacher Jokes & Chemistry Jokes for Teachers)
May 4th Kentucky Derby Knock Knock Jokes: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you teach me how to sing My Old Kentucky Home? (365 Music Jokes)
May 4th: Top 10 May the Fourth Be With You Jokes: When did Anakin’s Jedi masters know he was leaning towards the dark side?… In the Sith Grade. (Middle School Jokes & May Jokes for Teachers)
May 5th: Revenge of the Fifth Jokes: Why did Anikin Walker cross the road?… To get to the Dark Side. (Top 10 Revenge of the Fifth Jokes)
May 5th: Top 10 Cinco De Mayo Jokes: Cinco de Mayo is nacho average holiday.
If a train station is where the train stops, and a bus station is where the bus stops, what is a work station?
Top 10 Spring Jokes: If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflower’s bring?… Pilgrims! (Social Studies Jokes & Rain Jokes)
Why did Princess Leia fail her exams?… She had Alderaan answers!
Nurses Week: Why did the nurse go to art school?… So they could learn to draw blood. (Art Jokes & May Jokes for Teachers)
Top 10 Nurse Jokes: The nurse walked into the busy doctor’s office and said, “Doctor, the invisible man is here.” The doctor replied, “Sorry, I can’t see him.” (Biology Jokes for Kids & Halloween Jokes)
What are a teacher’s three favorite words?… May, June, and July. (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month & Jokes for Teachers)
May 12th: Mother’s Day Jokes: Sunday school teacher: Tell me, do you say prayers before eating?… Student: No, ma’am, I don’t have to. My mom’s a good cook.
A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along when suddenly a cat attacks them. The mother mouse shouts “BARK!” and the cat runs away. “See?” the mother mouse says to her baby. “Now do you see why it’s important to learn a foreign language?” (Funny Animal Jokes for Kids / Jokes for Teachers / Cat Jokes)
Why did the teacher marry the custodian?… Because he swept her off her feet! (Wedding Jokes)
May 15th: Chocolate Chip Cookie Day: When should you take a chocolate chip cookie to the doctor?… When it feels crummy.
Top 10 Mother’s Day Jokes: What did the mother rope say to her child?…“Don’t be knotty.”
May 17th Bike to Work Day Jokes: Teacher: If you got $20 from 5 people, what do you get? Student: A new bike!
May 18th International Astronomy Day: My son just graduated from college. My friends asked me what he majored in. I told them he was studying to be an astronaut: he took up space. (Graduation Jokes)
School Sign on the Last Day of School: Dear Parents, Tag your it! Love Teachers.
Knock Knock… Who’s there!… B-4!… B-4 who?… B-4 you leave school for summer vacation, thank your teacher for a great year! (Write a Thank You Letter to A Teacher)
Me and my high school prom date are marrying next year… Hers is in January and mine in May! (Wedding Jokes & Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
Science teacher: When is the boiling point reached?… Science student: When my father sees my report card! (Teacher Jokes & Chemistry Jokes for Teachers)
May 23rd: World Turtle Day: I used to have a teacher called Mrs Turtle… Strange looking woman but she tortoise well.
Memorial Day Jokes for Teachers: Teacher: Johnny, what are the last words of “The Star-Spangled Banner”?… Student: “Play ball”? (Baseball Jokes & Flag Day Jokes)
Memorial Day Jokes for Teachers: Teacher: “Who wrote: Oh say, can you see?” Student: “An eye doctor?” (Teacher Jokes & Biology Jokes)
Memorial Day Jokes for Teachers: Memorial Day Weekend was coming up, and the nursery school teacher took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism. “We live in a great country,” she said. “One of the things we should be happy about is that, in this country, we are all free.” One little boy came walking up to her from the back of the room. He stood with his hands on his hips and said. . . .“I’m not free. I’m four.” (Elementary School Jokes)
National Hamburger Day Jokes: What do you get when you cross a hamburger with a computer?… A Big Mac! (Computer Jokes for Kids)
National Flip Flop Day Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe wear flip flops to school? (Canoe Jokes)
Why did the teacher bring solar eclipse glasses to school?… She had bright students! (Solar Eclipse Jokes)

June Jokes for Teachers

June 1st National Trails Day: Why did the science teacher take his class on a field trip to the mountains? … They needed higher grades. (Field Trip Jokes)
High School Graduation Jokes: I ordered a high school graduation cake for my son…. The baker asked me what I wanted it to say. Wow, talking cakes, who knew? (Cake Jokes)
June 3rd National Egg Day: Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?… So he could grade his eggs. (Egg Jokes / Farming Jokes / Jokes for Teachers)
June 4th National Cheese Day: Top 10 Cheese Jokes: What do you call cheese that is sad?… Blue cheese. (Psychology Jokes)
June 5th World Environment Day: My teacher wanted me to come up with a set of steps that we could use to save the environment… So I created an Al Gore-ithm. (Environment Jokes & Math Jokes for Teachers)
June 5th National Trails Day: Did hear the mountain joke?… You won’t get over it! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
Why did the egg go to school?… To get “egg-u-cated!” (Jokes for Teachers & School Jokes for Kids)
June 8th World Oceans Day: Top 10 Ocean Jokes: A friendly reminder: Sharks live in the ocean… Year-round. (Shark Jokes & Ocean Jokes)
World Oceans Day: What did the fish get on his math test?… A sea plus. (180 School Jokes)
What is the only question on the entrance exam to the U.S. Navy?… “Oh say, can you sea?” (Navy Jokes)
What are a teacher’s three favorite words?… June, July and August. (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month & Jokes for Teachers)
Jokes for the Last Day of School: A book never written: “The Last Day of School?” by Wendy Belrings (School Jokes for Kids)
How is the student’s grade like going on summer vacation?… It was at C level. (Jokes for the Last Day of School & Ocean Jokes)
June 14th: Flag Day: Top 10 Flag Day Jokes: Teacher: “How did the Founding Fathers decide on our country’s flag?” Student: “I guess they took a flag poll!” (Flag Day Jokes for Kids)
June 15th: National Lobster Day Top 10 Lobster Jokes: Today I stopped at this roadside stand that said “Lobster Tails: $2”.So I paid my $2 and the guy said, “Once upon a time there was this lobster… (Book Jokes & Maine Jokes)
If you bring lobster to class, you better share… Or else it would be shellfish!
Why did the lobster take such a long time to learn just the basics of the English alphabet?… Probably because he spent a lot of years at C.
Why did the teacher dive into the ocean?… She wanted to test the water! (Swimming Jokes / June Teacher Jokes / 180 School Jokes / Ocean Jokes)
Top 10 Summer Camp Jokes: Do fish go to summer camp?… No, because they’re always in school! (Fishing Jokes)
Father’s Day Jokes: Most fathers want their sons to have things they never had… like A’s on their report cards.
What do chickens call a school test? …Eggs-amination! (Jokes for Teachers & School Jokes for Kids)
Why was the teacher cross-eyed on the last day of school?… She lost control of her pupils.
What is white when its dirty and black when it is clean?… A blackboard.
Who’s in charge of the school during summer vacation?… The rulers.
Why did the little lobster start wearing fancy clothes to the posh pier school?… She did it out of pier pressure. (Lobster Jokes)
What school supply is still tired all summer long?… A knapsack. (Napping Jokes)
June 27th National Sunglasses Day: I always wear sunglasses while I’m teaching… because my students are too bright.
Why was the teacher wearing sunglasses?… She had bright students! (Jokes for Teachers)
What did the student say when his teacher asked him to pay a little attention on the last day of school?… But I’m paying as little attention as I can! (Jokes for the Last Day of School)
Why is the home economics teacher so mean?… She beats the eggs! (Egg Jokes)

July Jokes for Teachers

July 1st Canada Day Jokes: Why are Canadian students so smart?… They get a lot of ehs.
4th of July Jokes for Teachers: July 4th PSA: On one hand fireworks are a lot of fun. On the other hand I only have 2 fingers. (Fireworks Jokes & Biology Jokes for Kids)
4th of July Jokes for Teachers: What dance was very popular in 1776?… Indepen-dance! (American Revolution Jokes & Music Jokes)
4th of July Jokes for Teachers: Do they have a 4th of July in England?…Yes. That’s how they get from the 3rd to the 5th. (4th of July Quiz)
What are a teacher’s three favorite words?… June, July and August. (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month & Jokes for Teachers)
I was afraid I might fail my fireworks exam… But I passed with flying colors. (180 School Jokes & Fireworks Jokes)
July 7th – July 13th Shark Week Jokes: Why can’t most sharks read?… They are not part of a school.
July 7th – July 13th Shark Week Jokes: What did the shark say to the marlin at prom?… Lookin’ Sharp. (Prom Jokes)
July 7th – July 13th Shark Week Jokes: What was the marine biologist’s kid’s excuse for not having his homework?… “My shark ate it!” (180 School Jokes)
July 7th – July 13th Shark Week Jokes: What was the shark’s favorite James Joyce novel?… FINnegan’s wake! (St. Patrick’s Day Jokes & Book Jokes)
July 7th – July 13th Shark Week Jokes: What did the shark get on his marine biology test?… A sea-minus. (Biology Jokes & 180 School Jokes)
July 7th – July 13th Shark Week Jokes: How does a hammerhead shark tell his mom he passed his test?… Nailed it! (180 School Jokes)
Teacher: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? Student: At the bottom. (American Revolution Jokes)
Bastille Day Jokes: Did you hear the joke about Bastille Day?… It’s a riot.
Teacher: Please use the word “account” in a sentence. Student: Sure. “On account of three, we’ll start the race.” (Jokes for Teachers & Summer Olympic Jokes)
4th of July Jokes for Teachers: July 4th PSA: On one hand fireworks are a lot of fun. On the other hand I only have 2 fingers. (Fireworks Jokes & Biology Jokes for Kids)
July 17th: National Hot Dog Day Hot Dog Jokes for Kids: Where do your smart hot dogs go?… On the honor roll. (180 School Jokes)
July 18th National Ice Cream Day: What do you get when you cross teacher’s pets with ice-cream cones?… Teacher’s flavorites! (Ice Cream Jokes)
Teacher “More than 200 years ago, our forefathers defeated the British in the Revolutionary War.”… Student “Wow! They must have been pretty strong, four men defeating a whole army!” (4th of July Jokes & Social Studies Jokes)
How do surfers do in summer school?… Not too good. Just a little above C level. (Surfing Jokes)
Why did Mr. Ice-Cream scold his students?… He couldn’t cone-done their unruly behavior!
Where do you learn to make ice cream?… Sundae school.
Teacher: What are the last words of “The Star-Spangled Banner”?… Student: “Play ball!” (Baseball Jokes for Kids & Jokes for Teachers)
What do minions excel at in school?… Gru-p projects. (Minion Jokes)
My teacher’s name is Gandalf… needless to say he didn’t let me pass. (101 Lord of the Rings Jokes)
Summer Olympics Jokes: Why did the teacher go to the Paris Olympics?… To test the water for the swimming and diving events.
What type of schools do Minions like going to?… Banana sundae schools. (Ice Cream Jokes & Jokes for Teachers)
On a scale from one to ten, how obsessed with Harry Potter are you?… About nine and three quarters. (Math Jokes for Kids)
Why is Mad-Eye Moody such a bad professor?… Because he can’t control his pupils. (Biology Jokes for Teachers)
Professor McGonagall is a good teacher, but… she has a tendency to be catty. (Cat Jokes & Jokes for Teachers)
July 31st: Why was Harry Potter sent to the office?… Because he was cursing in class! (Harry Potter Jokes)

Recent Posts

Archives