Environment Jokes

by | Jun 5, 2021 | Education, Latest News, School Jokes

My Town Tutors is a great resource for parents & teachers. Find qualified tutors in your area today!

Google Search “Environment Jokes”

  1. Knock Knock… Who is there?… Noah… Noah who?… Noah a good joke about the environment? (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids)
  2. What did the windmill say to the tornado?… I’m a big fan.
  3. What do you call a high-ranking soldier who hates recycling?… General Waste. (Army Jokes)
  4. Why did the Dwarves leave Erebor?… They didn’t like the pollution – there was too much Smaug! (Earth Day Jokes & Lord of the Rings Jokes)
  5. Who should headline the Earth Day Concert?… Green Day! (365 Music Jokes)
  6. Why does a recent survey state only 87% of Americans think global warming is happening?… The other 13 percent work for the oil industry! (Earth Day Jokes)
  7. My teacher wanted me to come up with a set of steps that we could use to save the environment… So I created an Al Gore-ithm. (Jokes for Teachers)
  8. I don’t have a Carbon Footprint… Because I drive everywhere. (Car Jokes)
  9. I’m tired of people telling me to turn off my lights to save the environment… I did it once and killed a cyclist. (Bike Jokes)
  10. Why is smoking good for the environment?… Because it kills humans.
  11. Did you hear about the Power Plant that was bad for the environment all year?… He got coal for Christmas. (Christmas Jokes)
  12. If Mac users care more about the environment more than Windows users, then why do Macs have a trash can and Windows has a recycling bin? (Computer Jokes)
  13. What is a tree’s least favorite month?… Sep-timber! (Tree Jokes)
  14. We all have to do our part for the environment. And there are many different ways one can save energy… I normally use the couch.
  15. A small ATM room having two ACs and 4 tubelights, working 24 hours, is asking me not to print a receipt to save the environment.
  16. Why didn’t the dendrochronologist get married?… He only ever dated trees. (Tree Jokes & Wedding Jokes)
  17. If you meet a women, start talking about global warming…. It’s a real icebreaker. (Wedding Jokes)
  18. My college is so concerned about the environment.. They’ve been recycling past papers since 1988. (College Jokes)
  19. What kind of plant grows on your hand?… Palm tree. (Tree Jokes)
  20. How can you tell the ocean is friendly?… It waves. (Ocean Jokes)
  21. A motorist is making his way down a flooded road after a night of torrential rain. Suddenly he sees a man’s head sticking out of a large puddle. He stops his car and asks the man if he needs a lift….‘No thanks,’ says the man. ‘I’m on my bike.’ (Bike Jokes)
  22. People keep telling me flying and eating meat is bad for the environment… So I shot that stupid eagle. (Bird Jokes)
  23. It’s not a good idea to have a horse as a pet if you live in a city… They need to grow up in a stable environment.
  24. People ask me why I quit my job at the nuclear power plant… I guess it was the toxic work environment. (Labor Day Jokes)
  25. I need to file a complaint about a hostile work environment… The elevator keeps telling me I’m going down. (Labor Day Jokes)
  26. Interviewer: What are your thoughts about nepotism in a workplace environment? Candidate: Well, that’s a really good question, Dad. (Dad Jokes)
  27. What do you call a toxic work environment?… A staff infection. (Labor Day Jokes / Doctor Jokes / Nurse Jokes)
  29. What kind of environment do hobbits live in?… A hobbitat. (Hobbit Jokes)
  30. How does President Trump plan on fighting record high temperatures?… By switching from Fahrenheit to Celsius!
  31. I dare you to name one thing that has done more for the environment than Green Peace!… The Coronavirus
  32. “Al Gore is came out with a movie about global warming called ‘An Inconvenient Truth.’ It’s a detailed scientific view of global warming. President Bush said he just saw a film about global warming, ‘Ice Age 2; The Meltdown.’ He said, ‘It’s so much better than that boring Al Gore movie.”
  33. Three guys are fishing in the Caribbean. One guy says, ‘My house burnt down. I lost everything but the insurance company paid up and that’s why I’m here.’ The second guy says, ‘My gas station blew up. I lost everything, but the insurance company paid up and that’s why I’m here.’ The third guy says, ‘My farm suffered a terrible flood. I lost everything, but the insurance company paid up and that’s why I’m here.’ The first guy turns to him and says, ‘Flood? How do you start a flood?’ (Fishing Jokes)
  34. If coal is so bad for the environment… why don’t we just burn it all?
  35. Had a conversation with a Miner about the effects it had on the environment… The conversation got rocky.
  36. I told my friend that he really shouldn’t be using a straw and he replied, “Yeah, I know, I know, it’s bad for the environment.” I said, “Sure, there’s that… But it’s just a really weird way of eating spaghetti.” (Pasta Jokes)
  37. What did the cow say to the tornado?… You mooooooooooove me. (Tornado Jokes & Cow Jokes)
  38. Whats the difference between weather and climate?… You can’t weather a tree, but you can climate! (Tree Jokes & Hiking Jokes)
  39. Why do artists hate working in really cold environments?… Because all they get is exposure. (Art Jokes)
  40. I’m tired of people telling me to turn off my lights to save the environment… I tried it once, and nearly killed some girl on a bike. (Bike Jokes)
  41. I am very concerned about the environment… One look and I can tell those trees are up to something. (Tree Jokes)

Earth Day Jokes for Kids

  1. California is looking to eradicate a once popular item. Apparently it was the last straw. (California Jokes)
  2. All joking aside, what should you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? (Camping Jokes for Kids)
  3. “I have an obsession with wind farms…” “Really?…” “Yes. I’m a huge fan.”
  4. In honor of Earth day, I’m sending all of my work-related emails to my “recycle” folder. (Labor Day Jokes)
  5. Why are recycle bins optimistic?… Because they’re full of cans.
  6. What did the mother worm say to the little worm who was late?… “Where in earth have you been?” (Spring Jokes & Worm Jokes)
  7. What do you call leprechauns who collect aluminum cans, used newspapers and plastic bottles?… “Wee-cyclers!” (Leprechaun Jokes)
  8. If you live in an igloo, what’s the worst thing about global warming?… No privacy!
  9. One day the amount of plastic in the ocean will be irreversible… That will be the last straw. (Ocean Jokes for Kids)
  10. How much trash do you have to throw in the ocean to make a new country?… None, just some tea. (American Revolution Jokes / Tea Jokes / Earth Day Jokes)
  11. Two wind turbines sit in the ocean, one turns to the other and says “What music do you listen to? I like pop myself.” The other turbine says “I’m a massive heavy metal fan!” (Earth Day Jokes & Music Jokes)
  12. In protest, my friends and I are gonna march down to the city square dressed in trash that we picked up around the city… …like litter-rally. (March Jokes)
  13. What did the earthworm scientist discover?… Global Worming. (Worm Jokes) 
  14. How do oil companies deal with with oil spills?… Slick lawyers. (Lawyer Jokes)
  15. Why are Tree Huggers bad at playing cards?… They like to avoid the flush. (Tree Jokes)
  16. What do you get when you cross an environmentalist with direct action?… Arrested! (Police Jokes)
  17. Being unemployed has really helped to lower my carbon footprint. (Labor Day Jokes)
  18. What’s the difference between weather and climate?… You can’t weather a tree, but you can climate. (Tree Jokes)
  19. How do Republicans plan on fighting record high temperatures?… By switching from Fahrenheit to Celsius! (Election Jokes)
  20. Why does a recent survey state only 85% of Americans think global warming is happening?… The other 15 percent work for the oil industry!
  21. Did you hear the one about the recycling family of triplets?… Polly, Ethel and Ian.
  22. Why did the dog bury himself in the backyard on Earth Day?… Cause you can’t grow a tree without bark. (Dog Jokes)
  23. Why are people always tired on Earth Day?… Because they just finished a long March. (March Jokes)
  24. What lies between a good recycler and a bad recycler?… Oregon. (Oregon Jokes)
  25. Why couldn’t the flower ride it’s bike?… It lost its petals. (Bike Jokes & Flower Jokes)
  26. What did one lightning bolt say to the other lightning bolt?… You’re shocking! (Weather Jokes)
  27. What’s a tornado’s favorite game?… Twister! (Weather Jokes & Tornado Jokes)
  28. How do you cut a wave in half?… Use a sea saw. (Ocean Jokes for Kids)
  29. How many Vermont environmentalists does it take to change a light bulb?… 101; One to change it, and 100 to hold a rally on Church Street complaining about light pollution. (Vermont Jokes)
  30. What did Obi Wan Kenobi say to the tree?… May the Forest be with you. (Star Wars Jokes for Kids & Tree Jokes)
  31. How can you tell the ocean is friendly?… It waves. (Ocean Jokes for Kids)
  32. Which fish is the most famous in the ocean?… The star fish! (Ocean Jokes for Kids / Fishing Jokes / Fish Jokes)
  33. How do trees get on the internet?… They log in. (Tree Jokes & Arbor Day Jokes)
  34. What is a shark’s favorite game?… Swallow the leader! (Shark Jokes for Kids)
  35. What is a tree’s least favorite month?… Sep-timber! (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month & September Jokes)
  36. Where does a killer whale go for braces?… The orca-dontist. (Dentist Jokes for Kids & Whale Jokes)
  37. What is the best way to communicate with a fish?… Drop it a line! (Ocean Jokes for Kids / Fishing Jokes / Fish Jokes)
  38. What is the strongest creature in the ocean?… A mussel! (Sports Jokes for Kids)
  39. What goes up when the rain comes down?… An umbrella! (Rain Jokes)
  40. What kind of shorts do clouds wear?… Thunderwear! (Rain Jokes)
  41. How do hurricanes see?… With one eye! (Hurricane Jokes & Biology Jokes)
  42. What kind of plant grows on your hand?… Palm tree. (Tree Jokes / Biology Jokes / Flower Jokes)
  43. What kind of bow can’t be tied?… A rainbow! (Rainbow Jokes)
  44. What has 18 legs and catches flies?… a baseball team. (Baseball Jokes)
  45. What did Cinderella wear when she went swimming in the ocean?… Glass flippers! (Cinderella Jokes & Ocean Jokes for Kids)
  46. What did one tide pool say to the other tide pool?… Show me your mussels. (Sports Jokes for Kids)
  47. What did one volcano say to the other volcano?… I lava you! (Volcano Jokes)
  48. What kind of hair do oceans have?… Wavy! (Ocean Jokes for Kids & Barber Jokes)
  49. Why is grass so dangerous?… Because it’s full of blades. (Grass Jokes)
  50. What did the tree wear to the pool party?… Swimming trunks. (Tree Jokes & Swimming Jokes)
  51. What did the ground say to the earthquake?… You crack me up! (Geography Jokes)
  52. Why do tornadoes zigzag?… They’re dizzy. (Tornado Jokes)
  53. Why did the woman go outdoors with her purse open?… Because she expected some change in the weather. (Weather Jokes)
  54. What did the beach say to the wave?… “Long tide, no sea.” (Ocean Jokes)
  55. Have you heard about the restaurant that caters only to dolphins?… It only has 1 customer, but at least it serves a porpoise. (Dolphin Jokes)
  56. What did one firefly say to the other?… Got to glow now!
  57. Why did the leaf go to the doctor?… It was feeling green. (Tree Jokes & Doctor Jokes)
  58. What did the little tree say to the big tree?… Leaf me alone! (Tree Jokes)
  59. Why did the sun go to school?… To get brighter. (Sun Jokes / 180 School Jokes / Astronomy Jokes)
  60. Why did the worm cross the ruler?… To become an inchworm. (180 School Jokes & Worm Jokes)
  61. Do bees fly in the rain?… Not without their yellow jackets! (Rain Jokes & Bee Jokes)
  62. Knock Knock!… Who’s there?… Lettuce… Lettuce who?… Lettuce in, it’s hot outside! (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids)
  63. What happens when it rains cats and dogs?… You have to been careful not to step in a poodle. (Rain Jokes / Dog Jokes / Cat Jokes)
  64. What do you call a rooster that crows every morning?… An alarm cluck! (Daylight Savings Jokes)
  65. What’s the biggest moth in the world?… A mammoth! (Moth Jokes)
  66. What did the Pacific Ocean say to the Atlantic Ocean?… Nothing, it just waved! (Ocean Jokes)
  67. What has no beginning, end or middle & touches every continent?… The Ocean. (Ocean Jokes)
  68. Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?… He didn’t have a leg to stand on! (Shark Jokes for Kids)
  69. What do worms leave round their baths?… The scum of the earth! (Worm Jokes)
  70. Do you know where fishes work?… The Offish! (Ocean Jokes for Kids / Fishing Jokes / Fish Jokes)
  71. Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?… Because they spend years at C! (Pirate Jokes for Kids)
  72. Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?… All the sailors were marooned. (Ocean Jokes)
  73. Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?… Pier pressure. (Fishing Jokes & Fish Jokes)
  74. What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea?… It gets wet. (Ocean Jokes)
  75. What did one wave say to the other wave?… Nothing. It just waved. (Ocean Jokes)
  76. Why don’t oysters give to charity?… Because they’re shellfish! (Ocean Jokes)
  77. Which bus crossed the Atlantic Ocean?… Christopher ColumBUS. (Columbus Day Jokes)
  78. What does seaweed say when it’s stuck at the bottom of the sea?… “Kelp! Kelp!” (Ocean Jokes)
  79. Why are seabirds so lucky in love?… Because one good tern always deserves another. (Bird Jokes)
  80. What happens when you throw a red rock in the Black Sea?… It sinks to the bottom. (Ocean Jokes)
  81. What happened to the shark that swallowed a bunch of keys?…It got lockjaw. (Shark Jokes)
  82. What did the shark plead in the murder case?…Not gill-ty. (Shark Jokes)
  83. Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?… Because they dropped out of school. (Ocean Jokes for Kids / Fishing Jokes / Fish Jokes)
  84.  Why are Tree Huggers bad at playing cards?… They like to avoid the flush. (Tree Jokes)
  85. How many climate skeptics does it take to change a lightbulb?… None. It’s too early to say if the light bulb needs changing. (Daylight Savings Jokes)
  86. Where do crabs & lobsters catch their trains?… Kings Crustacean. (Lobster Jokes)
  87. What puts the white lines on the ocean?… An ocean liner. (Ocean Jokes)
  88. Why did the sun go to college / Middle School / Elementary School / High School?… To get brighter. (College Jokes)
  89. What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?…The Codfather. (Ocean Jokes for Kids / Fishing Jokes / Fish Jokes)
  90. Why did the lobster blush?… Because the sea weed. (Ocean Jokes & Lobster Jokes)
  91. What does a mermaid wear to maths lessons?… An algae-bra. (Ocean Jokes for Kids & Algebra Jokes)
  92. Why did the algae & the fungus get married?… They took a lichen to each other (although, unfortunately, their marriage is now on the rocks) (Mushroom Jokes & Wedding Jokes)
  93. What is a cetacean’s favorite TV show?… Whale of fortune. (Ocean Jokes)
  94. Where do shellfish go to borrow money?… The prawn broker. (Ocean Jokes)
  95. What is a blue whale’s favorite James Bond Film?… Licence to Krill. (Ocean Jokes & Whale Jokes)
  96. Where does seaweed look for a job?… In the ‘Kelp-wanted’ ads. (Ocean Jokes)
  97. A salmon walks into a vegetarian restaurant and the waiter says, “Sorry, we don’t serve fish.” (Ocean Jokes & Fish Jokes)
  98. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?… A nervous wreck. (Ocean Jokes)
  99. Where do you calculate the mass of a cetacean?… At a Whale-Weigh Station. (Ocean Jokes & Whale Jokes)
  100. Algae A (to Algae B): “How are things?”Algae B: “Good thanks; business is blooming.” (Ocean Jokes)
  101. Why does the mermaid wear seashells?…Because she grew out of her B-shells. (Ocean Jokes)
  102. Why did the seawater keep walking around in circles?… Because it was gyred. (Ocean Jokes)
  103. What did one flat-fish parasite say to the other at the end of their date?… “Your plaice or mine?”
  104. Why did the farmer plant a seed in his pond?… He was trying to grow a water-melon. (Watermelon Jokes)
  105. How can you amplify a pirate’s DNA?… PC Arghhh. (Pirate Jokes)

Tree Jokes for Kids

  1. Mother to son: I’m warning you. If you fall out of that tree and break both your legs, don’t come running to me! (Biology Jokes for Kids & Mother’s Day Jokes)
  2. What is a tree’s favorite drink?… Root beer. (Camping Jokes for Kids)
  3. How do trees get on the internet?… They log in. (Computer Jokes for Kids)
  4. What did Obi Wan Kenobi say to the tree?… May the Forest be with you. (Star Wars Jokes for Kids)
  5. Spring is here, and the trees are getting their foliage back… What a releaf! (Spring Jokes)
  6. Did you hear the joke about the oak tree?… It’s acorny one!
  7. What is a tree’s least favorite month?… Sep-timber! (Funny Jokes for Each Month)
  8. What did one leaf say to another?… I’m falling for you. (Valentine’s Day Jokes & Fall Jokes)
  9. If money really did grow on trees, what would be everyone’s favorite season?… Fall. (Tree Jokes)
  10. What is a pirate’s favorite holiday?… AHRRRRR-bor Day! (Pirate Jokes for Kids)
  11. Why did the Cat in the Hat run away from the tree?… It was afraid of the bark! (Cat Jokes & Tree Jokes)
  12. Why did the boy climb up the tree with a hockey stick… Cause he wanted to join the maple leafs. (Hockey Jokes & Canada Day Jokes)
  13. Did you hear the one about the redwood?… It’s tree-mendous!
  14. What was General Washington’s favorite tree?… The infan-tree. (American Revolution Jokes & Arbor Day Jokes)
  15. A lumberjack went into a magic forest to cut a tree. Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree. It shouted, “Wait! I’m a talking tree!” The lumberjack smiled, “and you will dialogue.” (Smile Jokes)
  16. What’s the difference between weather and climate?… You can’t weather a tree, but you can climate.
  17. What did the tree wear to the pool party?… Swimming trunks! (Summer Jokes for Kids & Swimming Jokes)
  18. How do leaves get from place to place?… With autumn-mobiles. (Fall Jokes & Car Jokes)
  19. What kind of tree does a math teacher climb?… Geometry. (Geometry Jokes & Arbor Day Jokes)
  20. Would you ever try the acorn diet?… No way! It sounds nuts!
  21. Why was the pine tree sent to its room?… Because it was being knotty!
  22. If you’re in the woods, how can you tell if a tree is a dogwood?… By its bark. (Dog Jokes for Kids)
  23. What band to trees listen to on the 4th of July?… Spruce Springsteen and the Tree Street Band. (Music Jokes & 4th of July Jokes)
  24. Did you hear the joke about tree?… It’ll leaf you laughing! (Fall Jokes for Kids)
  25. How can you identify a dogwood tree?… By its bark!
  26. What’s a tree’s favorite radio station?… One that plays poplar songs!
  27. Why do trees have so many friends?… They branch out. (Camping Jokes for Kids)
  28. Do you want a brief explanation of an acorn?…In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.
  29. What kind of plant grows on your hand?… Palm tree. (Tree Jokes & Biology Jokes)
  30. What type of tree likes to give high fives?… A palm tree!
  31. What did the little tree say to the big tree? — Leaf me alone!
  32. Spring is here, and the trees are getting their foliage back… What a releaf. (Spring Jokes)
  33. What happens to trees on Valentine’s Day?… They get sappy!
  34. Which Canadian city is a tree’s favorite?… Montreeal!
  35. If fruit comes from a fruit tree, where does turkey come from?… A poul-tree! (Arbor Day Jokes) (Turkey Jokes & Tree Jokes)
  36. What do you call a tree that doubts autumn?… Disbe-leaf. (Fall Jokes for Kids)
  37. Why did the leaf go to the doctor?… It was feeling green. (Earth Day & Doctor Jokes)
  38. What falls in autumn?… Leaves! (Fall Jokes & Tree Jokes)
  39. Winter can be pretty dreary with all the bare trees, so when spring comes it’s such a re-leaf. (Tree Jokes & Winter Jokes)
  40. What song do trees HATE!… Timber by Pit Bull & Kesha. (Tree Jokes & Music Jokes)
  41. What did a tree fighting with autumn say?… That’s it, I’m leaving. (Tree Jokes & Boxing Jokes)
  42. What did the beaver say to the tree?… “It’s been nice gnawing you!” (Tree Jokes for Kids)
  43. What did the tree say after a long winter?… What a re-leaf. (Winter Jokes)
  44. What happens if the ground log sees its shadow?… We’ll have six more weeks of splinters! (Groundhog Day Jokes)
  45. Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe. (Labor Day Jokes)
  46. Where does Avogadro plant his trees?… moles in the ground. (Mole Day Jokes)
  47. What did the tree say to spring?… What a re-leaf. (Spring Jokes)
  48. What emotion does a tree feel every spring?… Relief. (Spring Jokes)
  49. Why did you give the tree some aspirin?… Because I heard it was a sycamore! (Doctor Jokes for Kids)
  50. What did the beaver say to the tree?… “It’s been nice gnawing you!” (Tree Jokes for Kids)
  51. What kind of tree is often found in the kitchen?… A pantry!
  52. What is your favorite type of tree?… A pastry!
  53. Why was the tree drooling?… It was a dogwood. (Dog Jokes for Kids)
  54. Why did you plant a board and nails on Arbor Day?… I was trying to grow a tree house!
  55. What do you call a whole day planting trees?… Arbore Day
  56. What did Obi Wan Kenobi say to the tree?… May the Forest be with you. (Star Wars Jokes for Kids)
  57. Did you hear about the tree that had to take time off of work in autumn?… It was on paid leaf. (Fall Jokes for Kids)
  58. What did the tree say to autumn?… Leave me alone.(Fall Jokes for Kids)
  59. Why are trees very forgiving?… Because in the Fall they “Let It Go” and in the Spring they “turn over a new leaf.” (Spring Jokes & Fall Jokes)
  60. What do you call the world’s sleepiest tree?… Mesnoozelah!
  61. Why do trees hate riddles?… Because it’s too easy to get stumped!
  62. Why did the tree get stumped?… It couldn’t get to the root of the problem!
  63. What did the tree do when the bank closed?… It opened its own branch!
  64. Why do Christmas trees have trouble sewing?… They can’t stop dropping their needles!
  65. What was wrong with the tree’s car?… It wooden go!
  66. What’s a tree’s favorite subject in school?… Geometree!
  67. Why are trees the best networkers?… They’re constantly branching out!
  68. Why don’t you ever see hippos hiding in trees?… Because they’re really good at it!
  69. What did the tree say to the bully?… Leaf me alone!
  70. How do you know when a tree has had too much root beer?… He won’t stop texting his ax!
  71. What did the beaver say to the tree?It’s been nice gnawing you!
  72. Why do trees make the worst frenemies?… Because they are the best at throwing shade!
  73. What’s a tree’s favorite dating app?… Timber.
  74. Why did the tree need to take a nap?… For rest.
  75. Why was the weeping willow so sad?… It watched a sappy movie.
  76. Why do you never want to invite a tree to your party?… Because they never leaf when you want them to.
  77. What do you get when you cross a tabby cat with a lemon tree?… A sour puss.
  78. What was the tree’s favorite thing about Star Trek?… The Captain’s log.
  79. What’s another name for an artificial Christmas tree?… Faux fir.
  80. What do you call a military tree who doesn’t return on time?… Absent without leaf.
  81. What happens when a tree falls into mud?… It leafs an impression.
  82. What happens to maple trees on Valentine’s Day?… They get sappy.
  83. A snare drum and a crash symbol fell out of a tree.BA-DUM TSSSHH
  84. What did Betula pendula say to her super-annoying sister?… Leaf me alone, birch!
  85. What is every single tree’s least favorite month?… SepTIMMMBERRR!
  86. What must trees drink responsibly?… Root beer.
  87. What kind of trees do you get when you plant kisses?… Tulips.
  88. Why did the evil queen order her subjects to cut down all the trees in the kingdom?… She was jealous because every one of them had a bigger crown than her.
  89. Did you know that I can cut down a dead tree just by looking at it?… It’s true. I saw it with my own eyes.
  90. Did you hear the one about the oak tree?… It’s a corn-y one!
  91. Where do saplings go to learn?… Elementree school.
  92. Why do trees make great thieves?… Sticky fingers.
  93. Why can’t the lonely evergreen stop thinking about high school?… She’s still pining to be one of the poplar kids.
  94. Which side of a tree has the most leaves?… The outside.
  95. How do trees make themselves heard?… Amp-leaf-ication.
  96. What’s big, grey and falls from trees in Autumn?… Eleafant.
  97. Would you ever consider going on the almond tree diet?… No way, that’s just nuts!
  98. Which flowering plant is a champion equestrian?… The horse chestnut. (It totally conkers the competition.)
  99. What motorcycle brand do London plane trees ride through the forest?… Treeumph
  100. Did you hear about the elephant that got stuck up a tree last summer?… In order to get down, she had to sit on a branch and wait until fall.
  101. What happened to the wooden car with wooden wheels and a wooden engine?… It wooden go.
  102. What’s the same size and shape as a giant sequoia tree, yet weighs nothing?… A giant sequoia tree’s shadow.
  103. How do trees keep you in suspense?… I’ll tell you tomorrow.
  104. What type of fish falls from trees?… Jel-leaf-ish.
  105. How do bees travel to trees?… They take the buzz.
  106. What is a pine tree’s favorite radio station?… Anything that plays the poplar hits.
  107. How does a coniferous tree get ready for a date?… They spruce themselves up.
  108. What is green, has leaves, and a trunk?… A houseplant going on vacation.
  109. How do you know when a tree doesn’t know the answer to something?… It shrubs.
  110. How do trees contact one another?… By teleafone.
  111. What is the saddest tree?… The weeping willow.
  112. What do you get when you cross a tree with an artificial waterway?… A root canal.
  113. How many oranges grow on a tree?… All of them.
  114. What tree produces fruit that tastes like chicken?… Poultree.
  115. Why are leaves always involved in risky business?… Because they constantly have to go out on a limb.
  116. How did the idiot get hurt while raking leaves?… Fell out of the tree.
  117. Why do Platanus occidentalis have to see the doctor more than any other trees?… Because they are sycamore.
  118. Did you hear about the big corporation that’s making syrup from supposedly contaminated trees?… They maple their brand off the shelves.
  119. How do you get down from a tree?… You don’t. Down comes from a duck.
  120. Where can Adansonia trees go for a quick trim?… To the baobarber.
  121. Why were so many people sitting under the tree?… It was poplar.
  122. How do two rival forests get along?… They sign a peace tree-ty
  123. What looks like half a tree?… The other half.
  124. What did the teaching tree do when it went overseas?… It took a leaf of absence.
  125. Which side of a cherry tree has the most leaves?… The outside.
  126. What did the little tree say to the rude tree?… Leaf me alone.
  127. How old was the tiny tree?… Near-leaf five.
  128. What do you give to a thirsty tree?… Lemon-aid.
  129. Why didn’t the tree hunt?… It was against his beleafs.
  130. What is a tree’s favorite school subject?…Geometree.
  131. How did the elm tree know the fig tree wasn’t looking for anything serious?… It asked for no twigs attached.
  132. What is a pine tree’s favorite singer?… Spruce Springsteen.
  133. What did the tree say after he made an offer?… Take it or leaf it.
  134. Would you like to read a joke about tree-free paper?… The thing is, it’s tearable.
  135. What looks like half a spruce tree?… The other half.
  136. Why do trees hate tests?… Because they get stumped by the questions.
  137. What did the rock say when it rolled into the tree?… Nothing. Rocks don’t talk!
  138. What do you call nice trees without any teeth?… Sweetgums.
  139. Why couldn’t the fig tree get back in shape?… It couldn’t stick to a root-ine.
  140. What’s the best way to make a tree laugh?… Tell it acorn-y joke.
  141. How did the tree get lost?… It took the wrong root.
  142. What do vain trees do to get rid of wrinkles?Get a faceleaft.Why was the tree arrested?… For shopleafting.
  143. Why did the Chesnut tree feel left out?… It never got in on the oak.
  144. Why couldn’t the evergreen ever land a date?… It was so busy pining after unavailable trees that it never really branched out.
  145. Where do birch trees keep their valuables?… In a river bank.
  146. Why isn’t the squirrel hard at work collecting acorns at the oak tree?… She called in sick and went to the beech.
  147. What weighs more, a pound of leaves or a pound of logs?… Neither, they both weigh one pound.
  148. How did the apple tree get the job?… It had the right qua-leaf-ications.
  149. Which Canadian city is a favorite vacation spot for American trees?… Montreeal.
  150. What did the Jedi say to the sacred tree?… May the forest be with you.
  151. Why are Tree Huggers bad at playing cards?… They like to avoid the flush.
  152. Why did George Washington chop down the cherry tree with his hatchet?… Because his mom wouldn’t let him use the chainsaw. (Memorial Day Jokes)

Ocean Jokes for Kids

  1. How is the student’s grade like going on summer vacation?… It was at C level. (Jokes for the Last Day of School & Summer Jokes for Kids)
  2. Why don’t oysters share their pearls?…  Because they’re shellfish.
  3. I went to an ocean themed graduation party… It was a whale of a time. (Whale Jokes & Graduation Jokes)
  4. What’s the most romantic ship?… Courtship.
  5. What happened to your leg?… I went to a seafood dance on Valentine’s Day. I pulled a mussel! (Biology Jokes & Funny Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  6. What does a hockey game and an airboat have in common?… Loud fans. (Hockey Jokes / Plane Jokes / Florida Jokes)
  7. What is the difference between a girl who is sick of her boyfriend and a sailor who falls into the ocean?… One is bored over a man the other is a man overboard. (Funny Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  8. How exactly to you get from California to Hawaii?… By crossing the specific ocean. (Hawaii Jokes)
  9. What kind of candy would a drowning person like to have?… A life saver! (Candy Jokes)
  10. Where do goldfish go on vacation?… Around the globe! (Ocean Jokes for Kids & Geography Jokes for Kids)
  11. What’s in the middle of the Pacific (Ocean)?… Letter C (or E)! (Geography Jokes)
  12. What does the ocean use to clean its clothes?… Tide.
  13. Christopher Columbus got lost because the directions weren’t ‘pacific. (Columbus Day Jokes)
  14. Why did the lobster blush?… It saw the ocean’s bottom. (Lobster Jokes for Kids & Summer Jokes for Kids)
  15. What do you call a body of water on the moon?… Lunacy. (Full Moon Jokes)
  16. What did Cinderella wear when she went swimming in the ocean?… Glass flippers! (Cinderella Jokes)
  17. What is the best way to communicate with a fish?… Drop it a line! (Fishing Jokes & Fish Jokes)
  18. What did the ocean say to the beach?… Nothing. It just waved.
  19. Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?… He didn’t have a leg to stand on! (Shark Jokes for Kids)
  20. What is a pirate’s favorite letter?…. Most people think it’s the ‘R’rrrr, but really it’s the ‘C’ they love. (26 lessons for the Letter of the Week & Pirate Jokes)
  21. How does the ocean floor stay up-to-date on the news?…. By following current events, of course.
  22. How much trash do you have to throw in the ocean to make a new country?… None, just some tea. (American Revolution Jokes / Tea Jokes / Earth Day Jokes)
  23. A friendly reminder: Sharks live in the ocean. Year-round. (Shark Jokes)
  24. What do a bad hockey teams and the Titanic have in common?… They both look good until they hit the ice. (Hockey Jokes)
  25. A new study shows sharks only bite those who swim in the ocean. Researchers advise not swimming there. (Swimming Jokes & Shark Jokes)
  26. Why did the fish swim across the Atlantic?… To get to the other tide. (Swimming Jokes)
  27. Why did the fish swim across the Pacific?… To get to the other tide. (Swimming Jokes)
  28. What did the sea captain say to the hockey player using the row boat?… Bobby Orr. (Hockey Jokes)
  29. What did the fish get on his math test?… A sea plus. (180 School Jokes)
  30. Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?… Because they dropped out of school. (180 School Jokes)
  31. I went to an ocean themed (retirement / graduation / birthday / prom) party… It was a whale of a time. (Whale Jokes)
  32. Ocean walks in to a bar Bartender says “why so blue?” (Psychology Jokes & Ocean Jokes)
  33. Can you call the ocean something else?… Shore.
  34. Why did the teacher dive into the ocean, lake, river, or pool?… She wanted to test the water! (Swimming Jokes / Teacher Jokes / 180 School Jokes / Ocean Jokes)
  35. How does the ocean pay its water bill?… With sand dollars.
  36. A BOOK NEVER WRITTEN: “A Marine Biologist’s Office” by D.O. Shun. (Book Jokes)
  37. Do you know where fishes work?… The Offish! (Top Animal Jokes for Kids)
  38. What did the magician say to the fisherman?… Pick a cod, any cod!
  39. What kind of hair do oceans have? – Wavy!
  40. Who keeps the oceans clean?… Mermaids.
  41. What do you call an ocean full of tacos?… Flotilla. (Cinco De Mayo Jokes)
  42. Why did Frosty go and live in the middle of the ocean?… Because snowman is an island.
  43. Do you now why they use knots instead of miles in the ocean?… Because they’ve got to keep the ocean tide.
  44. Why did the physicist throw the stop sign into the ocean?… He was studying sign waves. (Car Jokes & Physics Jokes)
  45. Did you hear the results of the game between the beach and the ocean?… It’s tide.
  46. Did you here the joke about the ocean…?Nevermind, its too deep for you
  47. What’s the best tool in the ocean?… A hammerhead shark.
  48. One day the amount of plastic in the ocean will be irreversible… That will be the last straw. (Earth Day Jokes)
  49. Why are ocean levels so high?… sea weed.
  50. What did the wise papa fish tell his son?… Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
  51. What does a mermaid wear to math class?… An algae-bra, naturally.
  52. What keeps the ocean from leaking out?… The seals. (Seal Jokes)
  53. Why did the pirate fail his spelling class?…. Because he insisted there were seven ‘C’s. (Deos Selplnig Ralely Mtetar? / Spelling Lists / Pirate Jokes / 180 School Jokes)
  54. What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?…The Codfather.
  55. What does a hockey game and an air boat have in common?… Loud fans. (Hockey Jokes & Plane Jokes)
  56. Why did the middle school student drown?… All her grades were below C-level! (Middle School Jokes)
  57. What do you call a lazy crayfish? – A slobster!
  58. “Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.” (Book Jokes)
  59. A BOOK NEVER WRITTEN: “Different Types of Lockers” by Dave E. Jones. (Book Jokes)
  60. A BOOK NEVER WRITTEN: “A Perfect Day for Sailing” by Wynn Dee. (Book Jokes)
  61. Where does a killer whale go for braces?… The orca-dontist. (Dentist Jokes for Kids)
  62. My friend has an unhealthy obsession with ocean life I told her to sea kelp. (Career Blogs)
  63. What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?… It was just a fluke!
  64.  What would you find on a haunted beach?… A sand-witch! 
  65. Why did the algae and the fungus get married?… They took a lichen to each other (although, unfortunately, their marriage is now on the rocks)
  66. Two wind turbines sit in the ocean, one turns to the other and says “What music do you listen to? I like pop myself”. The other turbine says “I’m a massive heavy metal fan!” (Earth Day Jokes & Music Jokes)
  67. Have you heard about the restaurant that caters only to dolphins?… It only has 1 customer, but at least it serves a porpoise. (Dolphin Jokes)
  68. What do you do with a sick boat?…. Bring it to the dock! (Doctor Jokes & Fishing Jokes)
  69. Boat puns are *ferry* funny! (Fishing Jokes)
  70. What did the fisherman say when his fishing line got tangled?… Something a-piers to be wrong… (Fishing Jokes)
  71. What did the ocean say to the pirate?… Nothing—it just waved! (Pirate Jokes)
  72. What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?… I think we need to scale things back here.
  73. There arrrr plenty more funny pirate jokes where that came from! (Pirate Jokes)
  74. Did you hear about the martial artists who fought on the beach?… They faced off in sand-to-sand combat. (Boxing Jokes)
  75. What crashes onto the shore on very small beaches?…. Micro-waves.
  76. What did the sand say when the tide came back in?… Long time, no sea!
  77. What do you call 2 sodium atoms in the ocean?… tuNa (Fishing Jokes & Chemistry Jokes)
  78. What did the shark plead in the murder case?…Not gill-ty. (Shark Jokes for Kids)
  79. What happened when Red Beard fell in the Deep Blue Sea?… He got marooned. (Jokes for Kids)
  80. What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?… One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.
  81. Two sailors were out in their boat when a hand appeared in the ocean. ‘What’s that?’ asked the first sailor, ‘It looks as if someone’s drowning!’ ‘Nonsense,’ replied the second, ‘it was just a little wave.’ (Biology Jokes)
  82. I met a sailor who liked to put helium balloons in his ship… Whatever floats your boat I guess!
  83. Why did the whale cross the road?… To get to the other tide! (Ocean Jokes for Kids & Whale Jokes)
  84. Which fish is the most famous in the ocean?… The star fish! (Top Animal Jokes for Kids)
  85. What did one tide pool say to the other tide pool?… Show me your mussels. (Summer Camp Jokes for Kids)
  86. What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?… Sanka. (Coffee Jokes)
  87. Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?… Pier pressure.
  88. The worst thing about sea sickness?… It comes in waves!
  89. Why did the shark spit out the clown?… Because he tasted funny!
  90. Why did the fish blush? Because it saw the ocean’s bottom! 
  91. Why is the sea so strong?… Because it has a lot of mussels. 
  92.  “How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?” 
  93. “Pass me the shellfish,” he said crabbily. 
  94. How did the ocean say hello to the sun?… It waved.What sea creature can add up?… An octo-plus!
  95. Why are pirates called pirates?… Just because they arrrrr!
  96.  What do mussels do on their birthdays?… They shell-ebrate!
  97.  What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?… Aye matey!
  98. What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?… Cliff!
  99. What is a pirate’s favorite letter?… ARR!
  100. Why are dolphins so smart…? Because within three hours they can train a human to stand at the edge of the pool and feed them fish!
  101. Why are octopuses good in a war?… They’re well armed! 
  102. What kind of horse is good at swimming?… A seahorse!
  103. Where do fish sleep?… On the sea bed!
  104. Last night I had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda… I guess it was just a Fanta sea!
  105. What do you call a violent fish?… A smackeral!
  106. How to pirates get to the airport?… They rent a cARRR!
  107. Why are pirates great singers?… They hit the high Cs!
  108. What do sea monsters eat?… Fish and ships!
  109. Why don’t clams give to charity?… Because they’re shellfish!
  110. Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?… Just for the halibut.
  111. What did the carp say to his crush?… Don’t play koi with me!
  112. What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?… Can you please be more Pacific?
  113. Why don’t fish play soccer or lacrosse?… They’re scared of nets!
  114. What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?… It a-piers we have a problem.
  115. How did the ocean say hello to the sun after the eclipse?… It waved. (Full Moon Jokes for Kids)
  116. What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?… I don’t quite sea it that way.
  117. Why does the mermaid wear seashells?… Because she grew out of her B-shells.
  118. Why did the lobster blush?… Because the sea weed.
  119. What did the sarcastic otter say?… I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
  120. Why is the ocean so unknown?… Because it has many sea crits.
  121. Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?… It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
  122. Where do shellfish go to borrow money?… The prawn broker.
  123. What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?… Whale of Fortune.
  124. What is a blue whale’s favorite James Bond Film?… Licence to Krill.
  125. Where does seaweed look for a job?… In the kelp-wanted section.
  126. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?… A nervous wreck.
  127. What does seaweed say when it’s stuck at the bottom of the sea?… “Kelp! Kelp!”
  128. What do baleen whales call a hook-up?… Netflix and krill.
  129. What type of Ape lives in the ocean?…A Shrimpanzee.
  130. Why do freshwater fish cry so much?… They’re just a stream of emotions.
  131. I hate it when British people talk about the big pile of trash in the ocean. They shouldn’t talk about their country like that.
  132. What did the beach say to the wave?… “Long tide, no sea.”
  133. What is the strongest creature in the ocean?… A mussel! (Sports Jokes for Kids)
  134. What has no beginning, end or middle & touches every continent?… The Ocean.
  135. The seaside summer camp we visited last summer was so boring that one day the tide went out and never came back. (Summer Camp Jokes for Kids)
  136. How do you cut a wave in half?… Use a sea saw. (Ocean Jokes for Kids)
  137. Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef?… To get to the other TIDE. (Shark Jokes)
  138. What kind of turtles and are easy to see?… Green See Turtles. (Turtle Jokes for Kids)
  139. Which is the thirstiest ocean on the planet?… The Gulp of Mexico.
  140. What did Columbus say when he was accused of speeding through the port?… I did knot! (Columbus Day Jokes)
  141. Why was Columbus in trouble with the ocean?… He crossed it. (Columbus Day Jokes)
  142. What did Columbus use for money?… Sand dollars. (Columbus Day Jokes)
  143. How did Columbus avoid scurvy?… Vitamin Sea. (Columbus Day Jokes)
  144. What do fish sing during winter?… Christmas corals. (Music Jokes & Christmas Jokes)
  145. What did the Pacific Ocean say to the Atlantic Ocean?… Nothing, it just waved!
  146. Why did Columbus put one of his sailors in time-out?… He was being naughty-cal. (Columbus Day Jokes)
  147. What did Avogadro collect at the seashore?… mole-uscs. (Mole Day Jokes)
  148. How did the octupus make Christopher Columbus laugh?…With ten-tickles. (Columbus Day Jokes & Octopus Jokes)
  149. Who taught Christopher Columbus how to sail?… Bo Ting. (Columbus Day Jokes)
  150. What was Columbus’s favorite letter of the alphabet?…C (Sea). (Columbus Day Jokes)
  151. Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?… Because they can spend years at C. (26 lessons for the Letter of the Week / Ocean Jokes) / Pirate Jokes)
  152. What do a bad hockey team (insert name) and the Titanic have in common?… They both look good until they hit the ice! (Hockey Jokes)
  153. Why are gulls named seagulls?… If they were by the bay, they’d be bagels! (Summer Camp Jokes for Kids & Bagel Jokes)
  154. What does seaweed say when it’s stuck at the bottom of the sea?… “Kelp! Kelp!”
  155. Where do you calculate the mass of a cetacean?… At a Whale-Weigh Station
  156. A salmon walks into a vegetarian restaurant and the waiter says, “Sorry, we don’t serve fish.”
  157. Algae A (to Algae B): “How are things?”Algae B: “Good thanks; business is blooming”
  158. What’s the best thing to give a seasick monster?… Plenty of room!
  159. What do you get when you put the Titanic with the Atlantic Ocean?… About halfway
  160. I used to think that oceans were made out of soda. Guess it was just a Fanta Sea.
  161. Why did the seawater keep walking around in circles?… Because it was gyred.
  162. What’s the best place to get Italian food in the ocean?… The Marinara trench
  163. What do you call it when a fish makes it to the ocean?… Afishinsea
  164. Why do scuba divers fall backwards to enter the ocean?… If they fell forward they would just fall into the boat.
  165. Want to know why ocean is so salty?… Because land never waves back.
  166. Where do crabs and lobsters catch their trains?… Kings Crustacean
  167. What did one flat-fish parasite say to the other at the end of their date?… “Your plaice or mine?”
  168. Where do little fish go every morning? … To plaice school.
  169. Why don’t oysters give to charity?… Because they’re shellfish
  170. What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea?… It gets wet.
  171. Why don’t oysters give to charity?… Because they’re shellfish!
  172. Which bus crossed the Atlantic Ocean?… Christopher ColumBUS.
  173. Why are seabirds so lucky in love?… Because one good tern always deserves another. (Bird Jokes)
  174. What happens when you throw a red rock in the Black Sea?… It sinks to the bottom.
  175. BEACH LOVER 1: What’s your favorite beach you’ve ever been to?BEACH LOVER 2: It’s a beach in California!BEACH LOVER 1: California has a lot of beaches, could you please be more Pacific?
  176. I don’t understand why we have to clean the oceans……won’t it just wash off?
  177. So I was at Mexico and I asked a man if what we were looking at was the ocean. He said: “Si”
  178. Did you hear about the computer that was thrown into the ocean?… It was a Dell rolling in the deep.
  179. What happened to the shark that swallowed a bunch of keys?…It got lockjaw. (Shark Jokes for Kids)
  180. What happens when the ocean gets pregnant?…It gets a sea section.
  181. What’s red, white, blue and green?… A seasick Uncle Sam. (4th of July Jokes for Kids)
  182. Where do crabs & lobsters catch their trains?… Kings Crustacean.
  183. What puts the white lines on the ocean?… An ocean liner.
  184. Why don’t oysters share their pearls?… Because they’re shellfish. (Summer Camp Jokes) 
  185. Why did the crab cross the beach?… To get to the other tide!
  186. Why did the octopus blush?… He saw the bottom of the ocean. (Octopus Jokes)
  187. Why did the octopus cross the road?… To get to the other TIDE!!! (Octopus Jokes)
  188. Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?… All the sailors were marooned.
  189. Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?… Because they spend years at C! (Pirate Jokes for Kids)
  190. What did one wave say to the other wave?… Nothing. It just waved.
  191. What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?… Show me your mussels. (Sports Jokes for Kids)
  192. PG-13
  193. Why did the lobster blush?… Because the sea weed.
  194. What does a mermaid wear to maths lessons?… An algae-bra
  195. Why did the algae & the fungus get married?… They took a lichen to each other (although, unfortunately, their marriage is now on the rocks)
  196. What is a cetacean’s favorite TV show?… Whale of fortune.
  197. Where do shellfish go to borrow money?… The prawn broker.
  198. What is a blue whale’s favorite James Bond Film?… Licence to Krill.
  199. Where does seaweed look for a job?… In the ‘Kelp-wanted’ ads.
  200. A salmon walks into a vegetarian restaurant and the waiter says, “Sorry, we don’t serve fish.”
  201. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?… A nervous wreck.
  202. Where do you calculate the mass of a cetacean?… At a Whale-Weigh Station.
  203. Algae A (to Algae B): “How are things?”Algae B: “Good thanks; business is blooming.”
  204. Why does the mermaid wear seashells?…Because she grew out of her B-shells.
  205. Why did the seawater keep walking around in circles?… Because it was gyred.
  206. What did one flat-fish parasite say to the other at the end of their date?… “Your plaice or mine?”
  207. What’s up, buoys and gulls? I’m ready to make waves today!
  208. Don’t worry, beach happy!
  209. I’m swimming at the beach, water you doing today?
  210. How can you amplify a pirate’s DNA?… PC Arghhh.
  211. Why can’t blind people eat fish?/// Because it’s sea food.