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Google Search “Lord of the Rings Jokes”

  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Lord of the Rings jokes.
  2. I would tell some good Lord of the Rings jokes… But all the good ones ara-gone!
  3. Why are Hobbit doors round?… If you ate seven meals a day you’d need round doors too!
  4. The Hobbit pinball machine is AMAZING… It doesn’t accept any coins though, only a Tolkien.
  5. Movie Review: The Lord of the Rings: Group spends nine hours returning jewelry. (Movie Jokes)
  6. What is Gandalf’s favorite band?… The Eagles! (Bird Jokes & Music Jokes)
  7. Why did the Lord of the Rings author get kicked out of the movie theater… He was Tolkien all the way through!
  8. I’m throwing a hobbit party… It’s just a little get-together.
  9. Did you know that all of the Hobbit films were recorded in L.A.?… Yeah, you could tell by the Smaug. (California Jokes & Movie Jokes)
  10. I’m going to a Lord of the Rings themed Xmas party… I’m going to eat and be merry! (Christmas Jokes)
  11. A human, an elf and an orc walk into a bar…The Hobbit laughs and walks under it! (Elf Jokes & Beer Jokes)
  12. I went to an Apple Store and set up alarms on all of the phones…. I was Lord of the rings!
  13. What does Gandalf say when he wants to go shopping?… One ring to rule the mall! (Black Friday Jokes)
  14. What do you call a movie about a gangster hobbit? … Yolo Swaggins and the Fellowship of the Bling. (Movie Jokes)
  15. Lord of Rings Life Lesson: Man puts ring on finger, slowly goes insane! (Marriage Jokes & Psychology Jokes)
  16. Where do Hobbits ride horses?… At the Frodeo.
  17. How did Frodo Baggins know when his neighbor had died?… He read it in the Hobbituary. (Cemetery Jokes)
  18. I like it when people call me Precious… It has such a nice ring to it!
  19. Why did the Best Man go to Mount Doom?… Because he was the Ring-bearer!
  20. What did Gandalf say when an onion tried to cross the bridge?… You shallot pass! (Onion Jokes)
  21. What time did Tolkien finish Lord of the Rings?… At elven o’clock! (Elf Jokes)
  22. Hey, Gandalf! What’s your favorite kind of insect?… FLY, YOU FOOLS!
  23. What do you call a balrog wearing earmuffs?… Anything you want – it can’t hear you!
  24. A human, an elf and an orc walk into a bar…The Hobbit laughs and walks under it! (Beer Jokes)
  25. How do you cross a troll bridge in Middle Earth?… You use J.R.R. tokens!
  26. My teacher must really like Lord of the Rings… Whenever I ask about my grades she just says “You shall not pass!”
  27. How did the hobbit ruin the boxing match?… He tried to destroy the ring! (Boxing Jokes)
  28. What is the best book to read in autumn?… Gourd of the Rings. (Book Jokes & Lord of the Rings Jokes)
  29. I was once obsessed with “The Lord of the Rings.” The books, the movies, the collectables, everything… Finally I was able to kick the hobbit. (Movie Jokes)
  30. Dancing trees?… Now that’s ENT-ertainment. (Tree Jokes)
  31. What do you call a Lord of Rings fan with a sprained ankle?… A hobblit.
  32. You think Harry Potter is better than Lord of Rings… Tolkien must be Rowling in his grave…
  33. Which Lord of the Rings character has no toys to play with?… Legoless!
  34. Why was Gandalf hunched over and stressed out?… He was short-staffed! (Labor Day Jokes)
  35. I bought myself a 6 foot boomerang with Lord of the Rings characters on it… It’s really hard to Frodo!
  36. Bruce Willis has been cast to play the lead role in the upcoming Lord of the Rings sequel… Old Hobbits Die Hard.
  37. Robert de Niro is playing the lead role in the upcoming movie about “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy. The movie is called “You Tolkien to me?” (Movie Jokes)
  38. I did a Lord of the Rings marathon yesterday…. I ran 26 miles dressed up as Frodo Baggins! (Marathon Jokes)
  39. What was Frodo at Aragorn and Arwen’s wedding?… The Ring-bearer! (Marriage Jokes & Wedding Jokes)
  40. What do you call a hobbit eating at KFC?… Lord of the Wings. (Chicken Jokes)
  41. Why can’t you stop making Frodo gnome garden statues?… Because it’s so hobbit forming!
  42. Do you think Daniel Radcliffe could ever play a hobbit?… No, but Elijah Would! (Harry Potter Jokes)
  43. I’ve been reading ‘Lord Of The Rings’ and apparently, Gollum was once a normal man, but wearing the ring drained him of his youth, energy and any joy in life… Must be the same ring I put on when I got married.
  44. Three movies are a bit much for The Hobbit… They seem to be really dragon it out! (Dragon Jokes)
  45. Why did they come out with a Lord of the Rings movie?…The fans were Baggins for it.
  46. I belong to a Lord of the Rings Society, and we have a secret sign… It is a Tolkien gesture.
  47. Hand. Hand. River. Dirt. Gollum. Hobbits. Pockets. Pockets. Finger. Envelope. Fire. Hand. Neck. Neck. Finger. Hobbits. Neck. Neck. Neck. Pocket. Finger. LAVA… The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, from the perspective of the ring. (Movie Jokes
  48. Why should you try to be nice to a hobbit?… Because he’s got a short temper.
  49. Hobbits are really good people… they don’t look down on anyone.
  50. Why don’t you ask a hobbit for money?… Because they are always a little short.
  51. What do you call a Hobbit with a healthy appetite?… Lord of the Onion Rings!
  52. Why did the Hobbit set his iphone to vibrate?… He was afraid the ring would give him away!
  53. What happens when Sam pulls Gandalf’s finger for a second time?… Gandalf released Morwen.
  54. Why was it so hard to storm Sauron’s lair?… Because no matter how many you opened it, there was always Mor dor!
  55. Tolkien typed the entire Lord Of The Rings using only two fingers… That must have been Mordor.
  56. How many quarters does it take to play the Lord of the Rings pinball game?… None, it takes Tolkiens!
  57. Have you heard about Aragorn’s father, Arathorn?… He has a prickly personality!
  58. What did the drunken little hobbit say when he bumped into the wizard?… Saruman, I didn’t see you standing there!
  59. Why is Gandalf’s cupcake shop so successful?… Because he has a magical staff. (Cupcake Jokes)
  60. Why did Frodo read The Lord of the Rings 1,001 times?… Because it was hobbit-forming!
  61. How did the hobbit ruin the boxing match?… He tried to destroy the ring!
  62. How many times does an elf laugh at a joke?… One time, when he hears it. How many times does a hobbit laugh at a joke?… Twice, once when he hears it, once when he finally gets it. How many times does a dwarf laugh at a joke?… Three times. Once when he hears it, once when it’s explained to him, and once when he finally gets it.
  63. The Elves in The Lord of Rings look down upon anyone who is different from them… It’s pretty messed up, they’re so arrow minded.
  64. Your mama is so ugly… she has the breath of an Orc, the face of a Dwarf, and the feet of a Hobbit.
  65. I would like make another Lord of the Rings joke… but all the best ones Aragorn.
  66. Why are most hobbits great guys?… Because they do not look down on people.
  67. Why did Frodo Baggins put his phone on silent?… He was tired of the ring!
  68. How many Hobbits does it take to change a lightbulb?… None – there are no lightbulbs in Middle-earth!
  69. What is Gollum’s favorite bird?… A smea-gull. (Bird Jokes & Ocean Jokes)
  70. What’s wrong with staying up late to watch Lord of the Rings movies?… It’s a bad hobbit.
  71. What did Pippin say when he was being carried off by the Uruk-hai?… You’re carrying me in an orcward position!
  72. Nine bees made their way to Mordor… It was the fellowship of the Sting. (Bee Jokes)
  73. Lego Lord of the Rings was a defining moment for Tolkien fans… up to that point they had been Legoless.
  74. Orlando Bloom was only paid $175,000 for his role as Legolas in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. One might say he was definitely not an Elf made millionaire.
  75. Why did the Dwarves leave Erebor?… They didn’t like the pollution – there was too much Smaug! (Earth Day Jokes & Environment Jokes)
  76. What is the Witch-king’s favorite book?… The Grapes of Wraith!
  77. Who’s going to agree to play Frodo in the Lord of the Rings movies?… Elijah Would. (Movie Jokes)
  78. What do you call Legolas, Robin Hood, and Katniss Everdeen when they’re leaving?… Dep-archers. (Archery Jokes & Robin Hood Jokes)
  79. What do you call a wizard who can hit a white ball with a club?… Can golf!
  80. Why were the police looking for Sauron?… He was wanted for first degree Mordor! (murder)
  81. Why can’t Saruman read his wristwatch?… Because his arm has grown long!
  82. An Elf, a Dwarf, a hobbit and a Wizard walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What is this, a joke?” (Beer Jokes)
  83. How many quarters does it take to play the new Lord of the Rings arcade game?… None… it only takes Tolkiens!
  84. Why did the Hobbit get a job at Burger King?… He wanted to be “Lord of the Onion Rings.” (Lord of the Rings Jokes & Fast Food Jokes)
  85. The Lord of the Rings must be about marriage… Because when you put the ring on, you disappear. (Marriage Jokes)
  86. My dad set up a booth at a Renaissance Fair where people can dress up as Frodo from Lord of the Rings exclusively… It was his Frodo-Booth.
  87. Did you hear about the kid who lost his Lord of the Rings LEGO set?… He was LEGO less.
  88. Who was the most volatile actor in The Lord of the Rings?… Orlando Boom!
  89. Gandalf was very unhappy at work… He couldn’t find his staff! (Labor Day Jokes)
  90. Why didn’t Tom Bombadil answer the phone?… Because the Ring had no effect on him!
  91. What do you call the wraith king?… A ring leader!
  92. What kind of pictures do Elves take?… Elfies!
  93. Why don’t you ask a hobbit for money?… Because they’re always a little short.
  94. What would Gandalf have said if The Lord of the Rings been in a supermarket instead of Middle-Earth?… One ring to rule the mall. (Black Friday Jokes)
  95. My English teacher used to quote The Lord of the Rings to us… She used to say “you shall not pass.” (Grammar Jokes)
  96. Did you know The Lord of Rings could have come out a lot earlier?… Only problem was no one knew what the writer was Tolkien about.
  97. I want to make a Lord of the Rings themed metal band called Nightmare on Helm’s Deep. (Friday the 13th Jokes)
  98. Who did Saruman marry?… Saruwoman!
  99. What do you call a chubby hobbit?… Low Fat.
  100. How many times do you have to phone Sauron?… Once – it only takes One Ring!
  101. Why did the Best Man go to Mount Doom?… Because he was the Ring-bearer!
  102. I started walking around without any shoes, and it became a sort of hobbit. (Walking Jokes)
  103. Why did the Lord of the Rings author get kicked out of the movie theater?… He was Tolkien all the way through.
  104. What is a gardener’s least favorite Lord of the Rings book?… The Return of the Kink!
  105. How did the hobbit ruin the wrestling match?… He tried to destroy the ring!
  106. What do you call a hobbit that eats junk food?… Lord of the Onion Rings.
  107. I couldn’t enter Sauron’s lair… there was always one Mordor to go through
  108. What do you need to play the new Lord of the Rings pinball game?… Tolkiens.
  109. I hear that Legolas from the Lord of the Rings had an older brother, but he died before Legolas was born… His name was Legofirst.
  110. Why did Frodo read The Lord of the Rings 50 times?… Because it was hobbit-forming!
  111. What did Frodo say when he saw the trees dancing?… That’s ENT-ertainment!
  112. The best films of all time Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit trilogies… Now that’s what I’m Tolkien about. (Movie Jokes)
  113. I used to be addicted to Lord of the Rings… But then I kicked the hobbit.
  114. Why is it so hard to attack Barad-dûr?… Because no matter how many you open, there are always Mordors!
  115. Why did the hobbit go to McDonalds?… To get a second breakfast.
  116. What do you call it when you misplace your Lego Lord of the Rings mini figures?… A Lego Legolas Loss.
  117. For my son’s birthday, I got him a copy of “The Lord of the Rings,” but he wasn’t too happy… He thought it was a Tolkien gesture.
  118. What do you call a dark lord that works at KFC?… Lord of the Wings.
  119. We think we might name our child Precious… It has such a nice ring to it! (Baby Jokes)
  120. How did the trolls find Gimli’s father at night?… He was Glóin in the dark!
  121. What did Galadriel say when Frodo offered her the Ring?… I do!
  122. What did the Orc say after being shot by an Elf?… Well that was an arrowing experience!
  123. What happened when the warg tried to bite Treebeard?… He found his fang gorn!
  124. What did Borimir say to the Rolling Stones?… Have you not heard? One does not simply rock into Mordor!
  125. What do you call a hobbit party?… A little get together.
  126. What did Pippin do when he got drunk?… He became Merry!
  127. My Son asked me if the Santa’s Elves were the same Elves from Lord of the Rings I said grow up Son, you’re 42 years old.
  128. I would make another Lord of the Rings pun, but… all the good ones Aragorn.
  129. It’s a hobbit… I watch the Lord of the Rings movie every weekend.
  130. One ring rules your life, it slowly destroys you, and sometimes, death seems easier than continuing on.
  131. So I was watching Lord of the Rings with my dad… When I mentioned Legolas he asks, “so did he lose both his legs?”
  132. Why was Gandalf always smoking that pipe?… Because he had a bad Hobbit!
  133. A friend told me that the Lord of the Rings was a terrible series I said “You don’t know what you’re Tolkien about.”
  134. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about Lord of the Rings?
  135. Good study hobbits require a frodo-graphic memory.
  136. I did a Hobbit marathon yesterday…. I ran 26 miles dressed up as Bilbo Baggins! (Marathon Jokes)
  137. A hobbit was not watching where he was going and he bumped into the wizard. He said, “Saruman, didn’t see you there!” (Walking Jokes)
  138. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Lord of the Rings knock-knock joke?
  139. What is an accountant’s favorite Lord of the Rings movie?… The Return of the King.
  140. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Lord of the Rings knock knock jokes? (June Jokes Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  141. I did a Lord of the Rings marathon yesterday. I ran 26 miles dressed up as Gandalf!
  142. My wife is the biggest “Lord of the Rings” fan… Every night I hear her Tolkien in her sleep.
  143. What did Frodo say when he saw the elves dancing?… It must be Christmas time.
  144. I did a Lord of the Rings marathon yesterday. I ran 26 miles dressed up as Bilbo Baggins!
  145. Who did Saruman get married to?… Sarugirl.
  146. My wife woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy. She’s Tolkien in her sleep.
  147. I heard they’re remaking one of the Lord of the Rings movies, but everyone rides around on bicycles instead of horses… They’re calling it The Two Tires.
  148. Doctor! At night in my bed I keep saying lines from The Lord of The Rings That’s ok, you’re just Tolkien in your sleep.
  149. My math teacher used to quote lord of the rings to us. She used to say “you shall not pass.”
  150. Why is ‘The Lord of the Rings’ so long?… Because no one ever stops Tolkieng.
  151. How did Bilbo Baggins know when his neighbor had died?… He read it in the Hobbituary.
  152. There weren’t a lot of hobbits in the first Lord of the Rings books… They were just Tolkien characters.
  153. In the Lord of the Rings you always have to make reservations at the restaurant. Because one does not simply walk in.
  154. I went to see my doctor today about a problem. I keep reading Lord of the Rings over and over again She told me not to worry. It’s just force of hobbit!
  155. My boyfriend woke up just now. He is dreaming and muttering about how he wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy… He’s Tolkien in his sleep.
  156. My girlfriend woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy… She’s Tolkien in her sleep.
  157. My daughter woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy… She’s Tolkien in her sleep.
  158. My father woke up just now. He is dreaming and muttering about how he wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy… He’s Tolkien in his sleep.
  159. My mother woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy… She’s Tolkien in her sleep.
  160. I would make another Lord Of the Rings joke, but all the good ones Aragorn.
  161. My son woke up just now. He is dreaming and muttering about how he wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy. He’s Tolkien in his sleep.
  162. My husband woke up just now. He is dreaming and muttering about how he wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy. He’s Tolkien in his sleep.
  163. I keep reciting all of Lord of The Rings in bed, My wife says I need to do something about Tolkien in my sleep.
  164. My grandmother woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy. She’s Tolkien in her sleep.
  165. My grandfather woke up just now. He is dreaming and muttering about how he wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy. He’s Tolkien in his sleep.
  166. What is the difference between Sauron and The Easter Bunny?… Nobody knows, no one has seen either one.
  167. How did the hobbit ruin the MMA match?… He tried to destroy the ring!
  168. What is Barliman Butterbur’s favorite cheese?… Bree!
  169. Why should you never call the Nazgûl ‘black riders’?… Because it’s wraith-ist!