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- Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Lord of the Rings jokes.
- Why did Frodo Baggins put his phone on silent?… He was tired of the ring!
- How many Hobbits does it take to change a lightbulb?… None – there are no lightbulbs in Middle-earth!
- Hobbits are really good people… they don’t look down on anyone.
- Movie Review: The Lord of the Rings: Group spends nine hours returning jewelry. (Movie Jokes)
- What is Gandalf’s favorite band?… The Eagles! (Bird Jokes & Music Jokes)
- Why are Hobbit doors round?… If you ate seven meals a day you’d need round doors too!
- The Hobbit pinball machine is AMAZING… It doesn’t accept any coins though, only a Tolkien.
- Who’s going to agree to play Frodo in the Lord of the Rings movies?… Elijah Would. (Movie Jokes)
- What do you call Legolas, Robin Hood, and Katniss Everdeen when they’re leaving?… Dep-archers. (Archery Jokes & Robin Hood Jokes)
- You think Harry Potter is better than Lord of Rings… Tolkien must be Rowling in his grave…
- Why were the police looking for Sauron?… He was wanted for first degree Mordor! (murder)
- Why can’t Saruman read his wristwatch?… Because his arm has grown long!
- What do you call a hobbit eating at KFC?… Lord of the Wings. (Chicken Jokes)
- An Elf, a Dwarf, a hobbit and a Wizard walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What is this, a joke?” (Beer Jokes)
- Where do Hobbits ride horses?… At the Frodeo
- Why is Gandalf’s cupcake shop so successful?… Because he has a magical staff. (Cupcake Jokes)
- I’m throwing a hobbit party… It’s just a little get-together.
- How many quarters does it take to play the new Lord of the Rings arcade game?… None… it only takes Tolkiens!
- What do you call a Lord of Rings fan with a sprained ankle?… A hobblit.
- Lord of Rings Life Lesson: Man puts ring on finger, slowly goes insane!
- Gandalf was very unhappy at work… He couldn’t find his staff! (Labor Day Jokes)
- Why didn’t Tom Bombadil answer the phone?… Because the Ring had no effect on him!
- What do you call the wraith king?… A ring leader!
- What kind of pictures do Elves take?… Elfies!
- Why don’t you ask a hobbit for money?… Because they’re always a little short.
- What would Gandalf have said if The Lord of the Rings been in a supermarket instead of Middle-Earth?… One ring to rule the mall. (Black Friday Jokes)
- My English teacher used to quote The Lord of the Rings to us… She used to say “you shall not pass.” (Grammar Jokes)
- Did you know The Lord of Rings could have come out a lot earlier?… Only problem was no one knew what the writer was Tolkien about.
- Who did Saruman marry?… Saruwoman!
- Who was the most volatile actor in The Lord of the Rings?… Orlando Boom!
- How many times do you have to phone Sauron?… Once – it only takes One Ring!
- What is the Witch-king’s favorite book?… The Grapes of Wraith!
- Tolkien typed the entire Lord Of The Rings using only two fingers… That must have been Mordor.
- What did Pippin say when he was being carried off by the Uruk-hai?… You’re carrying me in an orcward position!
- Hand. Hand. River. Dirt. Gollum. Hobbits. Pockets. Pockets. Finger. Envelope. Fire. Hand. Neck. Neck. Finger. Hobbits. Neck. Neck. Neck. Pocket. Finger. LAVA… The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, from the perspective of the ring. (Movie Jokes)
- I went to an Apple Store and set up alarms on all of the phones…. I was Lord of the rings!
- Why should you try to be nice to a hobbit?… Because he’s got a short temper.
- What do you call a wizard who can hit a white ball with a club?… Can golf!
- Did you hear about the kid who lost his lord of the rings LEGO set?… He was LEGO less.
- What was Frodo at Aragorn and Arwen’s wedding?… The Ring-bearer! (Marriage Jokes & Wedding Jokes)
- How did Frodo Baggins know when his neighbor had died?… He read it in the Hobbituary. (Cemetery Jokes)
- Dancing trees?… Now that’s ENT-ertainment. (Tree Jokes)
- Why did the Best Man go to Mount Doom?… Because he was the Ring-bearer!
- I started walking around without any shoes, and it became a sort of hobbit. (Walking Jokes)
- I did a Lord of the Rings marathon yesterday…. I ran 26 miles dressed up as Frodo Baggins! (Marathon Jokes)
- Why did the Lord of the Rings author get kicked out of the movie theater?… He was Tolkien all the way through.
- Lego Lord of the Rings was a defining moment for Tolkien fans… up to that point they had been Legoless.
- I like it when people call me Precious… It has such a nice ring to it!
- Why did the Hobbit get a job at Burger King?… He wanted to be “Lord of the Onion Rings.” (Lord of the Rings Jokes & Fast Food Jokes)
- The Elves in The Lord of Rings look down upon anyone who is different from them. It’s pretty messed up, they’re so arrow minded.
- How did the hobbit ruin the wrestling match?… He tried to destroy the ring!
- What do you call a hobbit that eats junk food?… Lord of the Onion Rings.
- I belong to a Lord of the Rings Society, and we have a secret sign… It is a Tolkien gesture.
- Nine bees made their way to Mordor… It was the fellowship of the Sting. (Bee Jokes)
- Why did they come out with a Lord of the Rings movie?…The fans were Baggins for it.
- Have you heard about Aragorn’s father, Arathorn?… He has a prickly personality!
- Three movies are a bit much for The Hobbit… They seem to be really dragon it out! (Dragon Jokes)
- Why did the Dwarves leave Erebor?… They didn’t like the pollution – there was too much Smaug! (Earth Day Jokes & Environment Jokes)
- I’ve been reading ‘Lord Of The Rings’ and apparently, Gollum was once a normal man, but wearing the ring drained him of his youth, energy and any joy in life… Must be the same ring I put on when I got married.
- Orlando Bloom was only paid $175,000 for his role as Legolas in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. One might say he was definitely not an Elf made millionaire.
- I couldn’t enter Sauron’s lair… there was always one Mordor to go through
- What do you need to play the new Lord of the Rings pinball game?… Tolkiens.
- I hear that Legolas from the Lord of the Rings had an older brother, but he died before Legolas was born… His name was Legofirst.
- What’s wrong with staying up late to watch Lord of the Rings movies?… It’s a bad hobbit.
- I was once obsessed with “The Lord of the Rings.” The books, the movies, the collectables, everything… Finally I was able to kick the hobbit. (Movie Jokes)
- How did the hobbit ruin the boxing match?… He tried to destroy the ring! (Boxing Jokes)
- Robert de Niro is playing the lead role in the upcoming movie about “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy. The movie is called “You Tolkien to me?” (Movie Jokes)
- Why did Frodo read The Lord of the Rings 50 times?… Because it was hobbit-forming!
- What did Frodo say when he saw the trees dancing?… That’s ENT-ertainment!
- What is Gollum’s favorite bird?… A smea-gull. (Bird Jokes & Ocean Jokes)
- The best films of all time Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit trilogies… Now that’s what I’m Tolkien about. (Movie Jokes)
- Why is it so hard to attack Barad-dûr?… Because no matter how many you open, there are always Mordors!
- Why did the hobbit go to McDonalds?… To get a second breakfast.
- What do you call it when you misplace your Lego Lord of the Rings mini figures?… A Lego Legolas Loss.
- What do you call a dark lord that works at KFC?… Lord of the Wings
- We think we might name our child Precious… It has such a nice ring to it! (Baby Jokes)
- The Lord of the Rings must be about marriage… Because when you put the ring on, you disappear. (Marriage Jokes)
- I want to make a Lord of the Rings themed metal band called Nightmare on Helm’s Deep. (Friday the 13th Jokes)
- How did the trolls find Gimli’s father at night?… He was Glóin in the dark!
- What did Galadriel say when Frodo offered her the Ring?… I do!
- What did the Orc say after being shot by an Elf?… Well that was an arrowing experience!
- What is a gardener’s least favorite Lord of the Rings book?… The Return of the Kink!
- What happened when the warg tried to bite Treebeard?… He found his fang gorn!
- What did Borimir say to the Rolling Stones?… Have you not heard? One does not simply rock into Mordor!
- What do you call a hobbit party?… A little get together.
- What did Pippin do when he got drunk?… He became Merry!
- My Son asked me if the Santa’s Elves were the same Elves from Lord of the Rings I said grow up Son, you’re 42 years old.
- I would make another Lord of the Rings pun, but… all the good ones Aragorn.
- It’s a hobbit… I watch the Lord of the Rings movie every weekend.
- One ring rules your life, it slowly destroys you, and sometimes, death seems easier than continuing on.
- My dad set up a booth at a Renaissance Fair where people can dress up as Frodo from Lord of the Rings exclusively… It was his Frodo-Booth.
- So I was watching Lord of the Rings with my dad… When I mentioned Legolas he asks, “so did he lose both his legs?”
- Why was Gandalf always smoking that pipe?… Because he had a bad Hobbit!
- A friend told me that the Lord of the Rings was a terrible series I said “You don’t know what you’re Tolkien about.”
- Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about Lord of the Rings?
- Good study hobbits require a frodo-graphic memory.
- I did a Hobbit marathon yesterday…. I ran 26 miles dressed up as Bilbo Baggins! (Marathon Jokes)
- A hobbit was not watching where he was going and he bumped into the wizard. He said, “Saruman, didn’t see you there!” (Walking Jokes)
- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Lord of the Rings knock-knock joke?
- What is an accountant’s favorite Lord of the Rings movie?… The Return of the King.
- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Lord of the Rings knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
- For my son’s birthday, I got him a copy of “The Lord of the Rings”, but he wasn’t too happy. He thought it was a Tolkien gesture.
- I used to be addicted to Lord of the Rings… But then I kicked the hobbit.
- I did a Lord of the Rings marathon yesterday. I ran 26 miles dressed up as Gandalf!
- What do you call a chubby hobbit?… Low Fat.
- My wife is the biggest “Lord of the Rings” fan… Every night I hear her Tolkien in her sleep.
- Bruce Willis has been cast to play the lead role in the upcoming Lord of the Rings sequel… Old Hobbits Die Hard.
- What did Frodo say when he saw the elves dancing?… It must be Christmas time.
- I did a Lord of the Rings marathon yesterday. I ran 26 miles dressed up as Bilbo Baggins!
- Who did Saruman get married to?… Sarugirl.
- My wife woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy. She’s Tolkien in her sleep.
- I heard they’re remaking one of the Lord of the Rings movies, but everyone rides around on bicycles instead of horses… They’re calling it The Two Tires.
- Doctor! At night in my bed I keep saying lines from The Lord of The Rings That’s ok, you’re just Tolkien in your sleep.
- My math teacher used to quote lord of the rings to us. She used to say “you shall not pass.”
- Why is ‘The Lord of the Rings’ so long?… Because no one ever stops Tolkieng.
- How did Bilbo Baggins know when his neighbor had died?… He read it in the Hobbituary.
- There weren’t a lot of hobbits in the first Lord of the Rings books… They were just Tolkien characters.
- In the Lord of the Rings you always have to make reservations at the restaurant. Because one does not simply walk in.
- Went to see my doctor today about a problem. I keep reading Lord of the Rings over and over again She told me not to worry. Its just force of hobbit!
- My boyfriend woke up just now. He is dreaming and muttering about how he wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy.He’s Tolkien in his sleep.
- My girlfriend woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy. She’s Tolkien in her sleep.
- My daughter woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy. She’s Tolkien in her sleep.
- My father woke up just now. He is dreaming and muttering about how he wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy. He’s Tolkien in his sleep.
- My mother woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy. She’s Tolkien in her sleep.
- I would make another Lord Of the Rings joke, but all the good ones Aragorn.
- My son woke up just now. He is dreaming and muttering about how he wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy. He’s Tolkien in his sleep.
- My husband woke up just now. He is dreaming and muttering about how he wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy. He’s Tolkien in his sleep.
- I keep reciting all of Lord of The Rings in bed, My wife says I need to do something about Tolkien in my sleep.
- My grandmother woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy. She’s Tolkien in her sleep.
- My grandfather woke up just now. He is dreaming and muttering about how he wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy. He’s Tolkien in his sleep.
- What is the difference between Sauron and The Easter Bunny?… Nobody knows, no one has seen either one.
- How did the hobbit ruin the MMA match?… He tried to destroy the ring!
- What is Barliman Butterbur’s favorite cheese?… Bree!
- Why should you never call the Nazgûl ‘black riders’?… Because it’s wraith-ist!