Lord of the Rings Jokes

My Town Tutors is a great resource for parents & teachers. Find qualified tutors in your area today!

Top Joke Pages:

Google Search “Lord of the Rings Jokes”

Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Lord of the Rings jokes.
Why did Frodo Baggins put his phone on silent?… He was tired of the ring!
How many Hobbits does it take to change a lightbulb?… None – there are no lightbulbs in Middle-earth!
Hobbits are really good people… they don’t look down on anyone.
Movie Review: The Lord of the Rings: Group spends nine hours returning jewelry. (Movie Jokes)
What is Gandalf’s favorite band?… The Eagles! (Bird Jokes & Music Jokes)
Why are Hobbit doors round?… If you ate seven meals a day you’d need round doors too!
The Hobbit pinball machine is AMAZING… It doesn’t accept any coins though, only a Tolkien.
Who’s going to agree to play Frodo in the Lord of the Rings movies?… Elijah Would. (Movie Jokes)
What do you call Legolas, Robin Hood, and Katniss Everdeen when they’re leaving?… Dep-archers. (Archery Jokes & Robin Hood Jokes)
You think Harry Potter is better than Lord of Rings… Tolkien must be Rowling in his grave…
Why were the police looking for Sauron?… He was wanted for first degree Mordor! (murder)
Why can’t Saruman read his wristwatch?… Because his arm has grown long!
What do you call a hobbit eating at KFC?… Lord of the Wings. (Chicken Jokes)
An Elf, a Dwarf, a hobbit and a Wizard walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What is this, a joke?” (Beer Jokes)
Where do Hobbits ride horses?… At the Frodeo
Why is Gandalf’s cupcake shop so successful?… Because he has a magical staff. (Cupcake Jokes)
I’m throwing a hobbit party… It’s just a little get-together.
How many quarters does it take to play the new Lord of the Rings arcade game?… None… it only takes Tolkiens!
What do you call a Lord of Rings fan with a sprained ankle?… A hobblit.
Lord of Rings Life Lesson: Man puts ring on finger, slowly goes insane!
Gandalf was very unhappy at work… He couldn’t find his staff! (Labor Day Jokes)
Why didn’t Tom Bombadil answer the phone?… Because the Ring had no effect on him!
What do you call the wraith king?… A ring leader!
What kind of pictures do Elves take?… Elfies!
Why don’t you ask a hobbit for money?… Because they’re always a little short.
What would Gandalf have said if The Lord of the Rings been in a supermarket instead of Middle-Earth?… One ring to rule the mall. (Black Friday Jokes)
My English teacher used to quote The Lord of the Rings to us… She used to say “you shall not pass.” (Grammar Jokes)
Did you know The Lord of Rings could have come out a lot earlier?… Only problem was no one knew what the writer was Tolkien about.
Who did Saruman marry?… Saruwoman!
Who was the most volatile actor in The Lord of the Rings?… Orlando Boom!
How many times do you have to phone Sauron?… Once – it only takes One Ring!
What is the Witch-king’s favorite book?… The Grapes of Wraith!
Tolkien typed the entire Lord Of The Rings using only two fingers… That must have been Mordor.
What did Pippin say when he was being carried off by the Uruk-hai?… You’re carrying me in an orcward position!
Hand. Hand. River. Dirt. Gollum. Hobbits. Pockets. Pockets. Finger. Envelope. Fire. Hand. Neck. Neck. Finger. Hobbits. Neck. Neck. Neck. Pocket. Finger. LAVA… The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, from the perspective of the ring. (Movie Jokes)
I went to an Apple Store and set up alarms on all of the phones…. I was Lord of the rings!
Why should you try to be nice to a hobbit?… Because he’s got a short temper.
What do you call a wizard who can hit a white ball with a club?… Can golf!
Did you hear about the kid who lost his lord of the rings LEGO set?… He was LEGO less.
What was Frodo at Aragorn and Arwen’s wedding?… The Ring-bearer! (Marriage Jokes & Wedding Jokes)
How did Frodo Baggins know when his neighbor had died?… He read it in the Hobbituary. (Cemetery Jokes)
Dancing trees?… Now that’s ENT-ertainment. (Tree Jokes)
Why did the Best Man go to Mount Doom?… Because he was the Ring-bearer!
I started walking around without any shoes, and it became a sort of hobbit. (Walking Jokes)
I did a Lord of the Rings marathon yesterday…. I ran 26 miles dressed up as Frodo Baggins! (Marathon Jokes)
Why did the Lord of the Rings author get kicked out of the movie theater?… He was Tolkien all the way through.
Lego Lord of the Rings was a defining moment for Tolkien fans… up to that point they had been Legoless.
I like it when people call me Precious… It has such a nice ring to it!
Why did the Hobbit get a job at Burger King?… He wanted to be “Lord of the Onion Rings.” (Lord of the Rings Jokes & Fast Food Jokes)
The Elves in The Lord of Rings look down upon anyone who is different from them. It’s pretty messed up, they’re so arrow minded.
How did the hobbit ruin the wrestling match?… He tried to destroy the ring!
What do you call a hobbit that eats junk food?… Lord of the Onion Rings.
I belong to a Lord of the Rings Society, and we have a secret sign… It is a Tolkien gesture.
Nine bees made their way to Mordor… It was the fellowship of the Sting. (Bee Jokes)
Why did they come out with a Lord of the Rings movie?…The fans were Baggins for it.
Have you heard about Aragorn’s father, Arathorn?… He has a prickly personality!
Three movies are a bit much for The Hobbit… They seem to be really dragon it out! (Dragon Jokes)
Why did the Dwarves leave Erebor?… They didn’t like the pollution – there was too much Smaug! (Earth Day Jokes & Environment Jokes)
I’ve been reading ‘Lord Of The Rings’ and apparently, Gollum was once a normal man, but wearing the ring drained him of his youth, energy and any joy in life… Must be the same ring I put on when I got married.
Orlando Bloom was only paid $175,000 for his role as Legolas in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. One might say he was definitely not an Elf made millionaire.
I couldn’t enter Sauron’s lair… there was always one Mordor to go through
What do you need to play the new Lord of the Rings pinball game?… Tolkiens.
I hear that Legolas from the Lord of the Rings had an older brother, but he died before Legolas was born… His name was Legofirst.
What’s wrong with staying up late to watch Lord of the Rings movies?… It’s a bad hobbit.
I was once obsessed with “The Lord of the Rings.” The books, the movies, the collectables, everything… Finally I was able to kick the hobbit. (Movie Jokes)
How did the hobbit ruin the boxing match?… He tried to destroy the ring! (Boxing Jokes)
Robert de Niro is playing the lead role in the upcoming movie about “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy. The movie is called “You Tolkien to me?” (Movie Jokes)
Why did Frodo read The Lord of the Rings 50 times?… Because it was hobbit-forming!
What did Frodo say when he saw the trees dancing?… That’s ENT-ertainment!
What is Gollum’s favorite bird?… A smea-gull. (Bird Jokes & Ocean Jokes)
The best films of all time Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit trilogies… Now that’s what I’m Tolkien about. (Movie Jokes)
Why is it so hard to attack Barad-dûr?… Because no matter how many you open, there are always Mordors!
Why did the hobbit go to McDonalds?… To get a second breakfast.
What do you call it when you misplace your Lego Lord of the Rings mini figures?… A Lego Legolas Loss.
What do you call a dark lord that works at KFC?… Lord of the Wings
We think we might name our child Precious… It has such a nice ring to it! (Baby Jokes)
The Lord of the Rings must be about marriage… Because when you put the ring on, you disappear. (Marriage Jokes)
I want to make a Lord of the Rings themed metal band called Nightmare on Helm’s Deep. (Friday the 13th Jokes)
How did the trolls find Gimli’s father at night?… He was Glóin in the dark!
What did Galadriel say when Frodo offered her the Ring?… I do!
What did the Orc say after being shot by an Elf?… Well that was an arrowing experience!
What is a gardener’s least favorite Lord of the Rings book?… The Return of the Kink!
What happened when the warg tried to bite Treebeard?… He found his fang gorn!
What did Borimir say to the Rolling Stones?… Have you not heard? One does not simply rock into Mordor!
What do you call a hobbit party?… A little get together.
What did Pippin do when he got drunk?… He became Merry!
My Son asked me if the Santa’s Elves were the same Elves from Lord of the Rings I said grow up Son, you’re 42 years old.
I would make another Lord of the Rings pun, but… all the good ones Aragorn.
It’s a hobbit… I watch the Lord of the Rings movie every weekend.
One ring rules your life, it slowly destroys you, and sometimes, death seems easier than continuing on.
My dad set up a booth at a Renaissance Fair where people can dress up as Frodo from Lord of the Rings exclusively… It was his Frodo-Booth.
So I was watching Lord of the Rings with my dad… When I mentioned Legolas he asks, “so did he lose both his legs?”
Why was Gandalf always smoking that pipe?… Because he had a bad Hobbit!
A friend told me that the Lord of the Rings was a terrible series I said “You don’t know what you’re Tolkien about.”
Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about Lord of the Rings?
Good study hobbits require a frodo-graphic memory.
I did a Hobbit marathon yesterday…. I ran 26 miles dressed up as Bilbo Baggins! (Marathon Jokes)
A hobbit was not watching where he was going and he bumped into the wizard. He said, “Saruman, didn’t see you there!” (Walking Jokes)
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Lord of the Rings knock-knock joke?
What is an accountant’s favorite Lord of the Rings movie?… The Return of the King.
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Lord of the Rings knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
For my son’s birthday, I got him a copy of “The Lord of the Rings”, but he wasn’t too happy. He thought it was a Tolkien gesture.
I used to be addicted to Lord of the Rings… But then I kicked the hobbit.
I did a Lord of the Rings marathon yesterday. I ran 26 miles dressed up as Gandalf!
What do you call a chubby hobbit?… Low Fat.
My wife is the biggest “Lord of the Rings” fan… Every night I hear her Tolkien in her sleep.
Bruce Willis has been cast to play the lead role in the upcoming Lord of the Rings sequel… Old Hobbits Die Hard.
What did Frodo say when he saw the elves dancing?… It must be Christmas time.
I did a Lord of the Rings marathon yesterday. I ran 26 miles dressed up as Bilbo Baggins!
Who did Saruman get married to?… Sarugirl.
My wife woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy. She’s Tolkien in her sleep.
I heard they’re remaking one of the Lord of the Rings movies, but everyone rides around on bicycles instead of horses… They’re calling it The Two Tires.
Doctor! At night in my bed I keep saying lines from The Lord of The Rings That’s ok, you’re just Tolkien in your sleep.
My math teacher used to quote lord of the rings to us. She used to say “you shall not pass.”
Why is ‘The Lord of the Rings’ so long?… Because no one ever stops Tolkieng.
How did Bilbo Baggins know when his neighbor had died?… He read it in the Hobbituary.
There weren’t a lot of hobbits in the first Lord of the Rings books… They were just Tolkien characters.
In the Lord of the Rings you always have to make reservations at the restaurant. Because one does not simply walk in.
Went to see my doctor today about a problem. I keep reading Lord of the Rings over and over again She told me not to worry. Its just force of hobbit!
My boyfriend woke up just now. He is dreaming and muttering about how he wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy.He’s Tolkien in his sleep.
My girlfriend woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy. She’s Tolkien in her sleep.
My daughter woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy. She’s Tolkien in her sleep.
My father woke up just now. He is dreaming and muttering about how he wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy. He’s Tolkien in his sleep.
My mother woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy. She’s Tolkien in her sleep.
I would make another Lord Of the Rings joke, but all the good ones Aragorn.
My son woke up just now. He is dreaming and muttering about how he wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy. He’s Tolkien in his sleep.
My husband woke up just now. He is dreaming and muttering about how he wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy. He’s Tolkien in his sleep.
I keep reciting all of Lord of The Rings in bed, My wife says I need to do something about Tolkien in my sleep.
My grandmother woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy. She’s Tolkien in her sleep.
My grandfather woke up just now. He is dreaming and muttering about how he wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy. He’s Tolkien in his sleep.
What is the difference between Sauron and The Easter Bunny?… Nobody knows, no one has seen either one.
How did the hobbit ruin the MMA match?… He tried to destroy the ring!
What is Barliman Butterbur’s favorite cheese?… Bree!
Why should you never call the Nazgûl ‘black riders’?… Because it’s wraith-ist!

Recent Posts

Archives