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Horse Racing Jokes

  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best jokes about horses.
  2. Where do Hobbits ride horses?… At the Frodeo. (Lord of the Rings Jokes)
  3. Why don’t horses ever get a divorce?… Because they’re in a stable relationship. (Divorce Jokes)
  4. How does a Kentucky Derby horse greet another horse?…With Southern Horspitality!
  5. Which flowering plant is a champion equestrian?… The horse chestnut. (Equestrian Jokes)
  6. What is a horse’s favorite state?… Maine. (Top 50 State Jokes)
  7. Why couldn’t the Minion understand what the Shetland pony was saying?… Because he was a little horse. (Minion Jokes)
  8. What does a ghost keep in its stable on Friday the 13th?… Nightmares(Horse Racing Jokes & Friday the 13th Jokes)
  9. What did the horse say when it fell?… “I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyu
  10. What did one horse Kentucky Derby horse say to the other horse?… The pace is familiar but I can’t remember the mane.
  11. What do you call a well balanced horse?… Stable.
  12. What kind of bread does a Kentucky Derby horse eat?… Thoroughbred
  13. Where do Hobbits ride horses?… At the Frodeo! (101 Lord of the Rings Jokes)
  14. What do you call a Potterhead on a horse?… Harry Trotter. (Horse Jokes)
  15. Where do Kentucky Derby horses get their hair done?… Maine. (Top State Jokes)
  16. Why did all the animals take shelter at the horse’s house during an earthquake?… Because it was stable. (Earthquake Jokes)
  17. A cowboy and his blind horse: A man is casually crossing the Wyoming plains when his horse died all of the sudden. The nearest town was three days walk. So, he started to walk. 3 days later he ends up in this quiet ‘ol town but nobody had a horse for sale. So he commenced to walking to the closest town which was a two days journey. Unfortunately, nobody in that town had a horse for sale, however, he did come across this stable where the fellow runnin’ it mentioned his brother in a nearby Town had a horse for sale. He commenced to walk to this next town and 2 DAYS LATER found the guy’s brother. “I talked to your brother two days walk from here and he says you might have a horse to sell me.” “Yes I do have a horse for sale,” He replied, “But he don’t look so good.” “I don’t care. I’ll take him anyways. I’ve been walking for damn near a week now. I’m tired and I need a horse.” So he gets on the horse and the horse takes off and bumps into a tree and stops. “Heyyy, something’s wrong with this horse. I think he’s blind. YOU SOLD ME A BLIND HORSE MISTER!” “I told you Sir, THE HORSE DON’T LOOK SO GOOD!” (Wyoming Jokes)
  18. Where do Kentucky Derby horses shop?… Old Neigh-vy!
  19. Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington?… Because the horse was too heavy to carry! (American Revolution Jokes)
  20. What did the cowboy ride to the hockey game?… A Zam-pony. (Hockey Jokes)
  21. You can lead a horse to water… but a pencil must be lead. (Pencil Jokes)
  22. What’s the difference between a horse and a hurricane?… One is reined up and the other rains down. (Rain Jokes & Hurricane Jokes)
  23. When do vampires like the Kentucky Derby?… When it’s neck and neck. (Top Halloween Jokes)
  24. What does it mean when you find a horseshoe? …. Some poor horse is going barefoot!
  25. Why did the horse back rider show up for hockey tryouts?… He thought they said they were Jockey tryouts. (Hockey Jokes)
  26. What do you get if you cross a horse with a bee?… Neigh buzz. (Bee Jokes)
  27. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about a horse?
  28. What does a ghost keep in its stable?…Nightmares(Ghost Jokes)
  29. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good horse knock-knock joke?
  30. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good horse knock knock jokes? (June Jokes Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  31. What do you call a well balanced Kentucky Derby horse?… Stable.
  32. What do you call a horse that can’t lose the Kentucky Derby?… Sherbet.
  33. What was the horse looking for on Black Friday?… A Macintosh. (Computer Jokes & Black Friday Jokes)
  34. What did the Kentucky Derby horse say when it fell?… “I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!”
  35. A pommel horse walks into a parallel bar. The barman says, “Is this a joke about gymnastics?” The horse beams. (Gymnastics Jokes for Kids)
  36. What did the cowboy ride to the Hockey game?… A Zam-pony. (Hockey Jokes)
  37. What did the teacher say when the horse walked into her class?… “Why the long face?”(Top K – 12 Jokes for Teachers)
  38. Did you hear about the dog who couldn’t stop talking like a horse?… It was a dog and pony show. (Dog Jokes)
  39. What do Kentucky Derby horses eat?… Fast Food.
  40. Why are most Kentucky Derby horses in shape?… Because they are on a stable diet.
  41. How do you make a small fortune in the horse industry?… Start with a large fortune.
  42. What do you call a scary horse?… A nightmare!
  43. What type of a computer does a horse like to eat?… A Macintosh
  44. How did the cowboy ride into town on Friday, stay for three days, and ride out on Friday?… His horse’s name was Friday!
  45. Did you hear about the horse with the negative altitude?… She always said Neigh
  46. What is the best type of story to tell a runaway horse?… A tale of WHOA!
  47. What did the momma say to the foal?… Its pasture your bedtime. (Mother’s Day Jokes)
  48. What did the waiter say to the horse?… I can’t take your order. That’s not my stable.
  49. What’s the quickest way to mail a little horse?… Use the Pony Express.
  50. What do you get if you cross a horse with a bee?… Neigh buzz
  51. Where do you put 2 horses that just broken up?…In the pasture
  52. What kind of horses go out after dusk?… Nightmares!
  53. What kind of horse likes to be ridden at night?… A nightmare!
  54. What cheese should you use when making a grilled cheese sandwich for a horse?… Mascarpone.