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- Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Black Friday jokes.
- Black Friday: The day people spend money they don’t have on things they don’t need.
- What does Gandalf say when he wants to go shopping?… One ring to rule the mall!
- Amazing BLACK FRIDAY deal: Buy NOTHING and save up to 100% in EVERY STORE!
- All this spending on Black Friday… Better make sure ya’ll pay the electric bill first or next Friday will be Black Friday too!
- Black Friday = Broke Saturday.
- It was just after Thanksgiving, and the judge was in a happy mood. He asked the defendant who was in the dock, ‘What are you charged with?’ The defendant replied, ‘Doing my Christmas shopping too early. ‘That’s no crime’, said the judge. ‘Just how early were you doing this shopping?’ ‘Before the shop opened’, answered the defendant. (Lawyer Jokes)
- I handed in an assignment late today, looks like my teacher is giving Black Friday deals too… 50% off. (180 School Jokes & Teacher Jokes)
- I’ve saved an absolute fortune this Black Friday… I stayed in.
- A small business owner was upset when a brand new corporate chain much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read “BEST BLACK FRIDAY DEALS!” He was horrified when another competitor opened up on the other side of him and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading “LOWEST BLACK FRIDAY PRICES!” The small business owner panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop. It read “MAIN ENTRANCE.”
- I went to a fireworks store yesterday looking for a Black Friday deal… I was blown away. (Fireworks Jokes)
- Black Friday: Because only in America people trample others for sales exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have.
- What song by the Who is the unofficial song of Black Friday… Bargain. (365 Music Jokes)
- Black Friday is a scam… You should be mad they overcharge you 364 days a year.
- I just bought two kayaks for the price of one… Canoe believe it? (Canoe Jokes)
- I went to McDonalds and Wendy’s and Burger Kings and all the fries were burnt!… Then I realized it’s Black Fryday.(Top 50 Coronation Jokes & Fast Food Jokes)
- Men go shopping to buy what they want… Women go shopping to find out what they want.
- What do you call an amazing Black Friday special that comes with free cake?… A sweet deal. (Cake Jokes)
- It’s only a matter of time before the security camera at Walmart on Black Friday becomes a hit reality show.
- So you can make it early to Black Friday but can’t make it to church on Sunday?
- What is the Guillotine?… A French chopping center. (French Revolution Jokes)
- Did you hear about the huge Black Friday sale they just had on canoes?… It was quite the oar deal. (Canoe Jokes)
- A co-worker was going to the Christmas office party but needed a new dress. In the store on Black Friday, she asked, ‘May I try on that dress in the window, please?’ ‘Certainly not, madam,’ responded the salesgirl, ‘You’ll have to use the fitting room like everyone else.’ (Christmas Jokes)
- Wouldn’t it be nice if retail therapy was covered by health insurance? (Psychology Jokes)
- What did Shakespeare say when Black Friday was over? “Now is the winter of our discount.” (Winter Jokes & Book Jokes)
- What happens when Black Friday falls on Friday the 13th?… Prices get slashed! (Friday the 13th Jokes)
- How can you tell which one of your friends got a good Black Friday deal?… Don’t worry they’ll let you know.
- What do you call Hunger Games in America?… Black Friday. (Movie Jokes & Book Jokes)
- Black Friday Family Tips: “Now remember what I taught you! Push, shove, grab, yell, and if needed tackle! Get out there and make Grandma proud!” (Grandparent Jokes)
- I’m going to spend a thousand dollars for a computer on Black Friday… It’s going to be grand. (Computer Jokes)
- Black Friday: The day I can finally jump on the Christmas Bandwagon with the rest of the nuts who started on Halloween. (Christmas Jokes & Halloween Jokes)
- Last year I bought an instructional boxing DVD on Cyber Monday… This year I’m going Black Friday shopping. (Boxing Jokes)
- I actually enjoy Black Friday… It’s the one day I know exactly where all the nut jobs are and how to avoid them.
- It’s Black Friday and the mall is packed with shoppers. John has lost sight of his wife and can’t find her. He goes up to a very attractive woman and says, “Excuse me, can you help me? I cannot see my wife, and I know that she is here in the shopping mall somewhere. Can you just talk to me for a couple of minutes?” The attractive woman replies “Why?” John says, “Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife shows up out of thin air.” (Marriage Jokes)
- I’ve got the deal already worked out – this Black Friday, I’m getting a new Lexus for my wife. I think she’s going to be really surprised – but from my perspective, it’s an awesome trade. (Car Jokes)
- When is the best time to buy clothing?… Mardi Gras… All shirts are half off. (Mardi Gras Jokes)
- A dog goes into a camping store and buys a tent. The cashier says, “You don’t see a dog in here buying a tent very often.” The dog says, “At these prices, I’m not surprised.” (Dog jokes for Kids & Camping Jokes)
- What did the fridge say when it was asked on Black Friday, “Is everything alright over here?” “No, it’s the day after the Thanksgiving, everything is all leftover here!” (Thanksgiving Jokes)
- Minions do most of their shopping on Gru-pon. (Minion Jokes)
- Bought a new vacuum on Black Friday… It sucks!
- When is the best time for a pirate to buy a new ship?… On Black Friday, when it’s on sail. (Pirate Jokes)
- I approximated the Black Friday experience at home by hurling myself into a wall several times and then ordering online.
- Why does Humpty Dumpty not participate in Black Friday?… He’s broke.
- It’s Black Friday, and I just got an iPhone 15 for my wife I thought it was a good trade.
- Colorado man fires gun at a retail store… It was a target.
- I hope you will only get surprised by the amazing deal on Black Friday and not your credit card bill.
- What did the lumberjack do on Black Friday? He went on a chopping spree.
- Here’s hoping Black Friday won’t turn into Black and Blue Saturday.
- Dad: “Today’s Black Friday right?” Me: “Yep” Dad: “Then why’s it so bright out?”
- What do you get if you cross a mole with a retail destination?… A shopping mole. (Mole Jokes)
- What do you call a canoe that’s 50% off?… A sale boat. (Canoe Jokes)
- Where did George Washington buy his hatchet?… At the chopping mall. (Presidents Day Jokes)
- What would Gandalf have said if The Lord of the Rings been in a supermarket instead of Middle-Earth?… One ring to rule the mall. (Lord of the Rings Jokes)
- They’re having a great sale in person at the mall for Black Friday Everything is buy one, get achoo free
- What does a penguin do when it loses its tail?… It goes to a re-tail store.
- What happens after you eat an entire gallon of “All Natural” ice cream?… You get Breyer’s remorse! (Ice Cream Jokes)
- Why is Black Friday the best time for you to pick up girls? Because girls are already bargain hunting.
- Black Friday is a great time to visit the tire store. They always have a blowout!
- On Black Friday, just be decent and civilized… by holding the cell phone horizontal when recording any fights.
- For some reason Black Friday continues for the rest of the week, so I guess that makes today Black Sabbath.
- Need help quitting smoking this Thanksgiving? After dinner just quit “Cold Turkey”. This way your lungs won’t be “Black Friday”.
- It’s Black Friday, and I just got an iPhone 14 for my husband… I thought it was a good trade.
- The boat shop was having a huge discount on all their Galleons and Brigantines for Black Friday this year… It was the biggest sail event they’ve ever had.
- Black Friday: A day Americans are willing to kill over materialistic things just a day after celebrating what they’re already thankful for.
- I was too lazy to go out shopping today, so to make it feel like Black Friday, I punched a few family members while online shopping.
- It’s going to be a hot Black Friday weekend, so our town’s ice store is having a liquidation sale. (Memorial Day Jokes)
- How do you prevent an elephant from charging?… Take away it’s credit card. (Elephant Jokes)
- What was the horse looking for on Black Friday?… A Macintosh. (Computer Jokes & Horse Jokes)
- Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about Black Friday?
- What do Black Friday shoppers and the Thanksgiving turkey have in common?… They know what it’s like to be jammed into a small place and stuffed! (Thanksgiving Jokes & Turkey Jokes)
- So Black Friday at the Geology Museum was great!… There were so many great shales! It really rocked.
- Carry on, and I am just here for Black Friday violence.
- Why don’t they have Father’s Day sales?… Because Fathers are priceless. (Father’s Day Jokes)
- An older woman runs into her friend at the mall. “You’re not going to believe this,” she said. “I found an old lamp the other day. I rubbed it and a genie popped out. He explained that genies don’t give three wishes anymore, but he did offer me a choice between one of two wishes. He could give me a better memory or turn my husband into the greatest lover ever.” “Tough choice,” said her friend. “Which one did you choose?” “That’s the thing. I can’t remember.” (Funny Valentine’s Day Jokes & Black Friday Jokes)
- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Black Friday knock-knock joke?
- What’s the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?… Beer Nuts are around a dollar seventy-nine, and deer nuts are just under a buck! (Hunting Jokes)
- On Black Friday, where did George Washington buy his hatchet?… At the chopping mall. (Memorial Day Jokes)
- It’s sad that Americans get more excited about Black Friday than Good Friday… more interested in sales than the greatest gift. (Good Friday Jokes)
- December 26th is Boxing Day in the UK, Canada, New Zealand, and Australia. Do you know when Boxing Day is celebrated in the US? Black Friday.
- Shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist.
- Why do shoppers feel like cranberry juice on Black Friday?… They get bruised and battered bloody by other people until they get squeezed at the cashier.
- Where did Mrs. Avogadro do her shopping on Black Friday?… In a shopping mole. (Mole Day Jokes)
- Besides Black Friday, what is the only thing people will wait in line for? A pumpkin spice latte at Starbucks.
- Today a man stole my wallet. He took the 100 dollars I had with me and started counting the money. He gave me 50 dollars back. Confused, I asked why. He said: “Today’s Black Friday, so every stolen wallet has a 50% discount!”
- Why did Santa bring 22 reindeer to Walmart?… Because what he wanted to buy cost around 20 bucks, but just in case it was more, he brought some extra doe. (Reindeer Jokes)
- What did Nala tell Simba after seeing a crowd of ladies on Black Friday?… You gotta Mufasa (move faster) (Top 10 Lion King Jokes)
- How is the Battle for Hogwarts like a Black Friday sale?… Weasley twins are 50% off. (Harry Potter Jokes)
- My dad has the best trick to save an absolute fortune on Black Friday… He totally ignores it!
- I’ll be celebrating Black Friday in my own way — by completely ignoring it.
- What time is it when a hippo sits on your hat?… Time for a new hat. (Hat Jokes)
- Why do they call the day after Thanksgiving “Black Friday?”… It matches the mood of all those unhappy shoppers. (Thanksgiving Jokes)
- I headed out before dawn today and braved some insane crowds, to snag some Black Friday deals. The only thing I think I scored was a case of COVID-19.
- What happens when a mall loses power?… Free Black Friday.
- Some people don’t shop on Black Friday. They are too busy sleeping off their Thanksgiving food.
- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Black Friday knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
- The day after the Thanksgiving, what did the fridge say when it was asked, “Is everything alright over here?” “No, everything is all leftover here!”
- How do you know Arnold Schwarzenegger is waiting in line with you on Black Friday?… He Jingles All The Way. (Christmas Jokes)
- My version of Black Friday is deleting all the people in my phone who sent me a mass Thanksgiving text.
- Today, I arrived at a local Black Friday sale at 7 AM and saw the riot police. I had never seen the riot police arrive this early before, so I asked them why they came so early. One of them replied, “We arrived early, because we like to beat the crowd.”
- Who profits the most on Black Friday?… The one who was smart enough not to go shopping on that day.
- Why do ghosts like Black Friday? They’re bargain haunters.
- Consider how fat you got on Thanksgiving when buying clothes on Black Friday.
- Thanksgiving Motto:”Leftovers are for quitters!” (Thanksgiving Jokes)
- It’s Black Friday, and I just got an iPhone 6 for my wife I thought it was a good trade.
- Every year on Black Friday I make sure I wake up extra early. To go on the internet to see all the fights.
- Black Friday? Thanks, but no thanks. Only criminals tell you to come out at 4 am for a three-dollar DVD player.
- Why do people go clothes shopping on Black Friday?… To replace all the clothes they spilled Thanksgiving dinner on.
- What’s the best part about Black Friday?… Resting on Saturday.
- Why do Americans go shopping on Black Friday?… They are thankful they survived Thanksgiving’s feast.
- What did the Pot Shop have on Black Friday? A bake sale.
- Black Friday is two days away… Today is apocalypse Wednesday at the grocery store.
- What flies faster than items off the rack on Black Friday?… Credit card payment slips!
- I should give up shopping, but I am not a quitter.
- Black Friday, what? I am not afraid of you.
- Nothing says “I care” like a Christmas present someone had to throw an elbow for.
- Which family usually spends the most on Black Friday?… The one who earns the least.
- What animal flies faster than items off the rack on Black Friday?… Credit card payment vultures.
- What do people eat on Black Friday?… Whatever they couldn’t finish on Thanksgiving Thursday. (Thanksgiving Jokes)
- Fantastic Black Friday deal alert: Buy nothing and save 100% in every store!
- Black Friday sale on Star Wars Battlefront 2… Save up to $2160 by not buying it.
- Probable Headline: “1000 Americans killed trying to get Twinkies on Black Friday.”
- Black Friday at the geology museum was great!… There were so many great shales!
- Did y’all hear about the guy who shot himself in Walmart in Black Friday?… They’re calling it a self-checkout.
- The best Black Friday sale is one you can access from your bed.
- I think it’s only fair the week after Black Friday be called White Friday… And then with the remaining Fridays before the next Black Friday, you can have fifty shades of grey.
- Sorry, but there’s no deal for the hospital visit you will need after being pummeled on Black Friday.
- Here’s hoping the Black Friday injuries aren’t so bad that you can’t click on a mouse on Cyber Monday.
- Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you tell me the date of Black Friday? (Canoe Jokes)
- Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you tell me the holiday that comes before Black Friday? (Canoe Jokes)
- Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you tell me where to shop for Black Friday? (Canoe Jokes)
- Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you tell me how to save for Black Friday? (Canoe Jokes)
- Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you tell me where to get the best deals for Black Friday? (Canoe Jokes)
- Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you tell me how to pay for Black Friday? (Canoe Jokes)
- Why couldn’t the Judge throw the book at the Black Friday shoplifters? There’d been a run on sentences.
- Shortest horror story: sold out.
- Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you take me shopping on Black Friday? (Canoe Jokes)
- Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you work on Black Friday? (Canoe Jokes)
- Why is the day after Thanksgiving a day of giving thanks for what we have, a day devoted to getting more stuff?
- Sorry, but there’s no deal for the hospital visit you will need after being pummeled on Black Friday.
- Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you get the day off for Black Friday? (Canoe Jokes)
- Cheers! …to the people working as security on Black Friday.
- Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you get paid overtime for working on Black Friday? (Canoe Jokes)
- Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you spell Black Friday? (Canoe Jokes)
- Retailers be like, remember everyone… Black Friday matters.
- What do you call a pickle on Black Friday? A dill.
- What do you call someone who gets run over at a Black Friday sale? A Walmartyr.
- Black Friday should be for bills, too… I want to get 30% off my electricity bill if I pay it on Black Friday.
- Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you REALLY get great deals on Black Friday? (Canoe Jokes)
- What do you call a ghost who loves shopping on Black Friday? A spirit of discounts!
- Why do cops love going to Black Friday early? So they can beat the crowd.
- Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you get up early to go shopping on Black Friday? (Canoe Jokes)
- Attention, “BLACK FRIDAY SALE!” My house. You And Me… All Clothes 100% Off.
- Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe give me advice for shopping on Black Friday? (Canoe Jokes)
- Why did the skeleton go shopping on Black Friday? Because he was looking for amazing skele-deals!
- What do you call Black Friday with a supply shortage? Friday.
- Who experienced the first Black Friday?… Robinson Crusoe.
- I don’t know what the big deal is about Black Friday. All Fridays matter.
- Black Friday and I have a lot in common It always comes too early once a year.
- Why do Mormons get married on Black Friday? Because they get 2 for 1.