Presidents’ Day Jokes

by | Oct 25, 2019 | Education, Latest News, School Jokes | 0 comments

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More Presidents’ Day Jokes…

  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Presidents’ Day jokes.
  2. Presidents’ Day is a sad reminder my wallet is filled with pictures of only the first one.
  3. Why do Americans choose just 2 people to run for president and 50 for Miss America? (Election Jokes)
  4. Instead of Traveling to Oz, the Tin Man, the Lion, and The Scarecrow should run for President… As they lack a heart, mind, and courage. (Wizard of Oz Jokes)
  5. What kind of tea did Abe Lincoln drink?… Hones-tea! (Tea Jokes) 
  6. What flavor gum does the President prefer?…. Governmint. (Gum Jokes)
  7. Knock, knock!… Who’s there?… George Washington… George Washington who?… George Washington who?!! Didn’t you learn anything in history class?!! (Social Studies Jokes)
  8. Andrew Johnson was the first US leader to ever be impeached… You could say it was unpresidented. (Impeachment Jokes)
  9. What’s the most popular automobile brand for presidents?… Lincoln. (Car Jokes)
  10. How did you become a hero?… “It was involuntary. They sank my boat.” John F. Kennedy (JFK Quotes)
  11. Teacher: “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him?” Student: “Because he still had the axe in his hand.” (Tree Jokes)
  12. How many presidential aides does it take to change a light bulb?… None. They’re supposed to keep the President in the dark. (Election Jokes)
  13. What does Donald Trump call kayaks?… Fake canoes. (Election Jokes & Presidents Jokes)
  14. If George Washington were alive today, why couldn’t he throw a silver dollar across the Potomac?… Because a dollar doesn’t go as far as it used to. (Maryland Jokes)
  15. Which rock group has four men who don’t sing?… Mount Rushmore. (365 Music Jokes)
  16. “My esteem in this country has gone up substantially. It is very nice now when people wave at me, they use all their fingers.” President Jimmy Carter
  17. Which former president planted the most trees?… Wood-row Wilson! (Christmas Tree Jokes & Election Jokes)
  18. Great American Political Book Never Written: “How to Become President” by Paul O’Ticks. (Presidents’ Day Jokes / Election Jokes / Book Jokes)
  19. What kind of tea did the George Washington thirst for?… Libertea! (American Revolution Jokes & Tea Jokes)
  20. What do you call a Nebraskan who hates Democratic Presidents?… A CORNservative. (Nebraska Jokes)
  21. Did Lincoln know that the North would win the Civil War?… After a while, he took it for Grant-ed! (Civil War Jokes)
  22. I love February because it contains two of my favorite annual events Groundhog Day, and the State of the Union Address. One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a notoriously unreliable mammal for prognostication with no basis in reality. The other involves a groundhog. (Ground Hog Day & Presidents’ Day Jokes)
  23. Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping?…. Because he couldn’t lie. (Napping Jokes)
  24. How did George Washington describe things?… In general terms. (Army Jokes)
  25. What would George Washington be if he were alive today?… Really, really, really old.
  26. Who was the funniest person in George Washington’s army?… Laughayette. (Army Jokes)
  27. Who was the youngest US president?… BABE Lincoln. (Baby Jokes)
  28. If you crossed a zucchini with our first president, what would you get?… George Squashington.(Farming Jokes)
  29. What do you call George Washington’s false teeth?… Presidentures. (Dentist Jokes)
  30. What would you get if you crossed George Washington with cow food?… The fodder of our country… (Cow Jokes)
  31. Which former president planted the most Christmas trees?… Wood-row Wilson! (Christmas Tree Jokes & Election Jokes)
  32. “An atheist is a guy who watches a Notre Dame-SMU football game and doesn’t care who wins.” Dwight Eisenhower (College Football Jokes)
  33. Why aren’t there many Civil War jokes?… People General Lee don’t find them funny… (Civil War Jokes)
  34. Do you know why they buried George H. W. In Houston instead of his beloved Kennebunkport?… Because it’s way too cold for planting Bushes in Maine. (Maine Jokes)
  35. Teacher: “John, do you know Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address?” Student: “No. I thought he lived in Washington!” (Teacher Jokes)
  36. Why did Barack Obama bulldoze the Rose Garden?… He didn’t want any Bushes at the White House. (Flower Jokes)
  37. Knock, knock…. Who’s there?… Abraham Lincoln… Abraham Lincoln who?… Seriously?… You must have done terrible in history class…
  38. Why is Abraham Lincoln like a bloodhound tracking someone?…They’re both on the (s)cent! (Dog Jokes)
  39. What do you call a Presidents’ Day parade with a Mardi Gras theme?… A krewe-sade of presidential masks! (Mardi Gras Jokes) 
  40. EVICTED FAMILY NEEDS HELP MOVING! MUST BE OUT BY JANUARY 20th! Please send any unneeded moving supplies to: 1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW Washington, DC 20500. (Impeachment Jokes)
  41. How was George Washington able to be so healthy?… He had a strong constitution.(Constitution Jokes)
  42. Which US president was able to clean up government wrongdoing?… WASHington.
  43. Have you seen the picture of Mount Rushmore before it was carved… It’s completely unprecedented. (Presidents’ Day Jokes & South Dakota Jokes)
  44. Why didn’t George Washington’s father yell at him for chopping down the cherry tree?… Because George was still holding the axe… (Tree Jokes)
  45. What’s the difference between a platypus and George Washington?… One has a bill on his face, the other has his face on a bill.
  46. What do George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common?… They were all born on holidays.
  47. What would you get if you crossed the first US president with an animated character?… George Washingtoon!
  48. Why did George Washington have the soldier arrested?… For committing Valley Forgery… (Police Jokes)
  49. Why aren’t there many Civil War jokes?… People General Lee don’t find them funny… (Civil War Jokes)
  50. What did Abe Lincoln put on his pancakes?… Lincoln Log Cabin Syrup. (Pancake Jokes)
  51. When George Washington was a general, why did he like to have dogs around?… They were very helpful during the “Roverlutionary War”
  52. What US president had long legs, a beard, and an unusual smell?… Abraham Stinkin. (Beard Jokes)
  53. Why did they call Lincoln “Honest Abe”?… Because that’s what it said on all his campaign buttons. (Election Jokes)
  54. What might an older candidate need if elected?… Presidentures! (Dentist Jokes & Presidents’ Day Jokes)
  55. Michelle Obama’s favorite vegetable?… Barackoli! (Farming Jokes)
  56. Was General Washington a handsome man?… Yes, he was George-eous!!
  57. What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware?… Get in the boat…
  58. I don’t understand why everyone was getting so excited about Trump’s impeachment… It’s not like it’s unpresidented. (Impeachment Jokes)
  59. Donald Trump is sleeping in the White House one night. He wakes up as the ghost of George Washington appears. Trump asks the ghost, “How can I best serve my country?” Washington replies, “Never tell a lie.” “I don’t think I can do that,” says Trump and goes back to sleep. The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears. Trump again asks, “How can I best serve my country?” Jefferson replies, “Listen to the people.” Trump says, “Oh! I really don’t want to do that,” and goes back to sleep. On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears. Once again Trump asks, “How can I best serve my country?” Lincoln says, “Go to the theater.”
  60. What was Joe doing until Trump is removed from office?… BIDEN his time. (January Jokes & Impeachment Jokes)
  61. Why was George Washington always pictured standing up?… Because he never lied. (Napping Jokes)
  62. Where did George Washington buy his hatchet?… At the chopping mall. (Black Friday Jokes)
  63. Which one of Washington’s officer’s had the best sense of humor?… Laughafayette. (Army Jokes)
  64. What important historical fact can one learn from Mount Rushmore?… The best American Presidents were stoned. (South Dakota Jokes)
  65. How did Richard Nixon sleep in the White House?… First he lied on one side, then he lied on the other. (Napping Jokes)
  66. What will the American people say to President Trump if he gets impeached?… “You’re fired!” (Impeachment Jokes)
  67. Thirtieth U.S. president Calvin Coolidge, nicknamed “Silent Cal,” once sat next to a woman at a dinner party who reportedly said to him, “I have made a bet, Mr. Coolidge, that I could get more than two words out of you.” To which he replied, “You lose.”
  68. The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, “How is the president?”
  69. Will Rogers
  70. “The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.” Will Rogers
  71. Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.
  72. Will Rogers
  73. “It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession. I have learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first.” Ronald Reagan
  74. Did you hear the one about the crooked George Washington?… He committed Valley Forgery. (Lawyer Jokes)
  75. How did George Washington speak to his army?…. In general terms. (Army Jokes)
  76. What would you get if you crossed the sixteenth president with a famous slugger?…. Babe Lincoln. (Baseball Jokes)
  77. I just told my dad a local store is having a huge President’s Day sale. He said, “Oh boy, let’s go buy a President!”
  78. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about Presidents’ Day?
  79. What did Americans do because of the Stamp Act?… They licked the British. (American Revolution Jokes)
  80. Where did they sign the Declaration Of Independence?… At the bottom… (American Revolution Jokes)
  81. What kind of tea did the American colonists want?… Libertea! (American Revolution Jokes & Tea Jokes)
  82. What was the most popular dance in 1776?… Indepen-dance. (American Revolution Jokes)
  83. What would you get if you crossed a gorilla with the sixteenth US president?…. Ape Lincoln!
  84. What would George Washington be if he were alive today?… Really, really, really old.
  85. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Presidents’ Day knock-knock joke?
  86. Why did Lincoln wear a tall, black hat?… To keep his head warm!
  87. Why was Abraham Lincoln born in a log cabin?… Because it was too cold to be born outside!
  88. Which former president planted the most trees?… Wood-row Wilson! (Christmas Tree Jokes & Election Jokes)
  89. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Presidents’ Day knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  90. Why did Abe Lincoln grow a beard?… He wanted to look like that guy on the five-dollar bill. (Beard Jokes)
  91. What does the Statue of Liberty stand for?… It can’t sit down. (New York Jokes)
  92. What would you get if you crossed Magilla Gorilla with the sixteenth US president?… Ape Lincoln.
  93. Presidents’ Day Pick up line: If you were a president, you’d be Babe-raham Lincoln.
  94. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe name the 1st president? (Canoe Jokes)
  95. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe name the 2nd president? (Canoe Jokes)
  96. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe name the 3rd president? (Canoe Jokes)
  97. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe name the 4th president? (Canoe Jokes)
  98. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe name the 5th president? (Canoe Jokes)
  99. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe name the 6th president? (Canoe Jokes)
  100. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe name the 7th president? (Canoe Jokes)
  101. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe name the 8th president? (Canoe Jokes)
  102. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe name the 9th president? (Canoe Jokes)
  103. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe name the 10th president? (Canoe Jokes)
  104. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe name the 11th president? (Canoe Jokes)
  105. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe name the 12th president? (Canoe Jokes)
  106. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe name the 13th president? (Canoe Jokes)
  107. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe name the 14th president? (Canoe Jokes)
  108. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe name the 15th president? (Canoe Jokes)
  109. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe name the 16th president? (Canoe Jokes)
  110. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe name the 17th president? (Canoe Jokes)
  111. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe name the 18th president? (Canoe Jokes)
  112. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe name the 19th president? (Canoe Jokes)
  113. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe name the 20th president? (Canoe Jokes)
  114. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe name the 21st president? (Canoe Jokes)
  115. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe name the 22nd president? (Canoe Jokes)
  116. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe name the 23rd president? (Canoe Jokes)
  117. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe name the 24th president? (Canoe Jokes)
  118. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe name the 25th president? (Canoe Jokes)
  119. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe name the 26th president? (Canoe Jokes)
  120. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe name the 27th president? (Canoe Jokes)
  121. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe name the 28th president? (Canoe Jokes)
  122. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe name the 29th president? (Canoe Jokes)
  123. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe name the 30th president? (Canoe Jokes)
  124. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe name the 31st president? (Canoe Jokes)
  125. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe name the 32nd president? (Canoe Jokes)