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More Presidents’ Day Jokes…

  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Presidents’ Day jokes.
  2. Why do Americans choose just 2 people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
  3. Andrew Johnson was the first US leader to ever be impeached… You could say it was unpresidented. (Impeachment Jokes)
  4. Who was the youngest US president?… BABE Lincoln.
  5. Which former president planted the most Christmas trees?… Wood-row Wilson! (Christmas Tree Jokes & Election Jokes)
  6. Who was the funniest person in George Washington’s army?… Laughayette.
  7. What do you call George Washington’s false teeth?… Presidentures.
  8. If George Washington were alive today, why couldn’t he throw a silver dollar across the Potomac?… Because a dollar doesn’t go as far as it used to.
  9. Why aren’t there many Civil War jokes?… People General Lee don’t find them funny…
  10. Why did George Washington have the soldier arrested?… For committing Valley Forgery…
  11. What would you get if you crossed George Washington with cow food?… The fodder of our country…
  12. What would you get if you crossed the first US president with an animated character?… George Washingtoon!
  13. Great American Political Book Never Written: “How to Become President” by Paul O’Ticks. (Presidents’ Day Jokes / Election Jokes / Book Jokes)
  14. Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping?…. Because he couldn’t lie.
  15. Which one of Washington’s officer’s had the best sense of humor?… Laughafayette.
  16. Have you seen the picture of Mount Rushmore before it was carved… It’s completely unprecedented. (Presidents’ Day Jokes & South Dakota Jokes)
  17. Which US president was able to clean up government wrongdoing?… WASHington.
  18. How did George Washington describe things?… In general terms.
  19. Which rock group has four men who don’t sing?… Mount Rushmore.
  20. The teacher asked little Johhny, “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him?” Little Johnny replied, “Because he still had the axe in his hand.”
  21. Do you know why they buried George H. W. In Houston instead of his beloved Kennebunkport?… Because it’s way too cold for planting Bushes in Maine. (Maine Jokes)
  22. What important historical fact can one learn from Mount Rushmore?… The best American Presidents were stoned. (South Dakota Jokes)
  23. Teacher: “John, do you know Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address?” Student: “No, Miss Frump. I thought he lived in Washington!”
  24. Where did George Washington buy his hatchet?… At the chopping mall.
  25. How many presidential aides does it take to change a light bulb?… None. They’re supposed to keep the President in the dark.
  26. Why was George Washington always pictured standing up?… Because he never lied.
  27. What’s the most popular automobile brand for presidents?… Lincoln.
  28. How did Richard Nixon sleep in the White House?… First he lied on one side, then he lied on the other.
  29. Did you hear the one about the crooked George Washington?… He committed Valley Forgery.
  30. How did George Washington speak to his army?…. In general terms.
  31. How was George Washington able to be so healthy?… He had a strong constitution.
  32. Did Lincoln know that the North would win the Civil War?… After a while, he took it for Grant-ed!
  33. I love February because it contains two of my favorite annual events Groundhog Day, and the State of the Union Address. One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a notoriously unreliable mammal for prognostication with no basis in reality. The other involves a groundhog. (Ground Hog Day & Presidents’ Day Jokes)
  34. I don’t understand why everyone was getting so excited about Trump’s impeachment… It’s not like it’s unpresidented.
  35. Why did Barack Obama bulldoze the Rose Garden?… He didn’t want any Bushes at the White House.
  36. What would you get if you crossed the sixteenth president with a famous slugger?…. Babe Lincoln.
  37. What was Joe doing until Trump is removed from office?… BIDEN his time. (January Jokes & Impeachment Jokes)
  38. What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware?… Get in the boat…
  39. EVICTED FAMILY NEEDS HELP MOVING! MUST BE OUT BY JANUARY 20th! Please send any unneeded moving supplies to: 1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW Washington, DC 20500. (Impeachment Jokes)
  40. What will the American people say to President Trump if he gets impeached?… “You’re fired!” (Impeachment Jokes)
  41. Was General Washington a handsome man?… Yes, he was George-eous!!
  42. Michelle Obama’s favorite vegetable?… Barackoli!
  43. Why is Abraham Lincoln like a bloodhound tracking someone?…They’re both on the (s)cent!
  44. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about Presidents’ Day?
  45. What did Americans do because of the Stamp Act?… They licked the British.
  46. Where did they sign the Declaration Of Independence?… At the bottom…
    What kind of tea did the American colonists want?… Libertea!
  47. What was the most popular dance in 1776?… Indepen-dance.
  48. What would you get if you crossed a gorilla with the sixteenth US president?…. Ape Lincoln!
  49. What would George Washington be if he were alive today?… Really, really, really old.
  50. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Presidents’ Day knock-knock joke?
  51. What did Abe Lincoln put on his pancakes?… Lincoln Log Cabin Syrup.
  52. If you crossed a zucchini with our first president, what would you get?… George Squashington.
  53. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Presidents’ Day knock knock jokes? (June Jokes Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  54. Knock, knock…. Who’s there?… Abraham Lincoln… Abraham Lincoln who?… Seriously?… You must have done terrible in history class…
  55. Which former president planted the most trees?… Wood-row Wilson! (Christmas Tree Jokes & Election Jokes)
  56. What’s the difference between a platypus and George Washington?… One has a bill on his face, the other has his face on a bill.
  57. Why did Lincoln wear a tall, black hat?… To keep his head warm!
  58. Why was Abraham Lincoln born in a log cabin?… Because it was too cold to be born outside!
  59. What US president had long legs, a beard, and an unusual smell?… Abraham Stinkin.
  60. Why did they call Lincoln “Honest Abe”?… Because that’s what it said on all his campaign buttons.
  61. Why did Abe Lincoln grow a beard?… He wanted to look like that guy on the five-dollar bill.
  62. What might an older candidate need if elected?… Presidentures! (Dentist Jokes & Presidents’ Day Jokes)
  63. What does the Statue of Liberty stand for?… It can’t sit down.
  64. Why didn’t George Washington’s father yell at him for chopping down the cherry tree?… Because George was still holding the axe…
  65. What would you get if you crossed Magilla Gorilla with the sixteenth US president?… Ape Lincoln.