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Google Search “Maryland Jokes”

  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Maryland jokes.
  2. Maryland Tourism: We have the crabs you will love. (Crab Jokes)
  3. In honor of the Preakness Stakes: Horse Racing is very romantic. The horse hugs the rail, the jockey puts his arms around the horse, and you kiss your money goodbye. (Preakness Jokes)
  4. What Maryland horse race do butchers love?… The Preakness “Stakes!” (Preakness Jokes)
  5. What’s the happiest state in the union?… Merry-land! (Top 50 State Jokes)
  6. If George Washington were alive today, why couldn’t he throw a silver dollar across the Potomac?… Because a dollar doesn’t go as far as it used to. (Presidents Day Jokes & George Washington Jokes)
  7. Maryland: If it weren’t for Washington… you couldn’t find us.
  8. Did you hear the joke about the Appalachian Mountains?… You won’t get over it. (Hiking Jokes & Maryland Mountains)
  9. My wife and I got married on the same day as the Preakness Stakes. I remember it because I was considering betting my life’s savings on this one Filly. … I also considered putting money on the Preakness! (Wedding Jokes)
  10. What did chocolate say to marshmallow and graham cracker?… Let’s go to Balti-smore.
  11. What Maryland horse race do butchers love?… The Preakness “Stakes!” (Preakness Jokes)
  12. A woman from Maryland who fell in love with the DJ from her first wedding day has married him five years later… she originally asked him three years ago, but he said he wasn’t taking requests just then. (Marriage Jokes)
  13. What Triple Crown horse race do butchers love?… The Preakness “Stakes!” (Triple Crown Jokes)
  14. What sporting event does the British Royal Family always follow?… The Preakness. It is part of the Triple Crown. (Triple Crown Jokes)
  15. How does a Preakness Stakes horse greet another horse?…With Maryland Horspitality!
  16. My wife and I got married on the same day as the Preakness Stakes. I remember it because I was considering betting my life’s savings on this one Filly. … I also considered putting money on the Preakness! (Wedding Jokes)
  17. What do you call a horse that can’t lose the Preakness?… Sherbet. (Ice Cream Jokes)
  18. Are you a Preakness Stakes race horse?… Yay or neigh?
  19. Are you watching the Preakness Stakes?… Yay or neigh?
  20. What did the teacher say when the Preakness Stakes horse walked into her class?… “Why the long face?” (Jokes for Teachers)
  21. When do vampires like the Preakness?… When it’s neck and neck. (Vampire Jokes)
  22. Where do Preakness horses get their hair done?… Maine. (Maine Jokes & Barber Jokes)
  23. You’re from Maryland?… Please tell me all you know about lacrosse and crabs. (Crab Jokes & Lacrosse Jokes)
  24. Maryland Drivers: Amazing, but everyone is crazy when there is one drop of snow. (Car Jokes & Snow Jokes)
  25. What is the nautical chart of the Atlantic Ocean’s best pitch?… The depth curve. (Baseball Jokes)
  26. What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the shore?… Nothing, it just waved!
  27. Can you name the capital of Maryland?… “M”
  28. What did the teacher say when the Preakness Stakes horse walked into her class?… “Why the long face?” (Jokes for Teachers)
  29. What do you call a horse that can’t lose the Preakness?… Sherbet. (Ice Cream Jokes)
  30. What did Deep Creek Lake say to the shore?… Nothing, it waved. (15 Best Lakes in Maryland)
  31. What is the tallest building in?… Maryland Public Library of course, it has the most stories! (Library Jokes)
  32. What goes hundreds of miles and never moves?… The Maryland Turnpike! (Car Jokes)
  33. Where do a fish keep their money?… In the riverbanks of the Susquehanna River. (Ten Longest Rivers in Maryland)
  34. What has a mouth but can’t eat?… The Potomac River!
  35. What runs but never goes out of breath?… The Youghiogheny River! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  36. If a plane crashed on the borders of Maryland where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! 
  37. Maryland. Teacher: Which part? Student: What do you mean, ‘which part’? My whole body was born in Maryland! (Teacher Jokes)
  38. Why did the Maryland teacher jump into the Deep Creek Lake?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Top Maryland Lakes)
  39. What May horse race do butchers love?… The Preakness “Stakes!” (Preakness Jokes)
  40. Doctors treating President Trump for COVID-19 at Walter Reed Army Hospital in Bethesda, Maryland,report that he is delusional, combative, argumentative, and seems to have lost touch with reality. It’s nice to see that Mr. Trump is feeling like his old self.
  41. Tourist: “Lived in this town all your life?” Maryland Resident: “No, not yet.” (Travel Guest Blogs)
  42. Tourist: “Nice little town — so old and quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?” Maryland Resident: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.” (Labor Day Jokes & Travel Blogs)
  43. Where do Preakness horses get their hair done?… Maine. (Maine Jokes & Barber Jokes)
  44. What did one Preakness horse say to the other horse?… The pace is familiar but I can’t remember the mane.
  45. Why did the Maryland teacher jump into the Potomac River?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  46. Is everyone in Maryland a doctor?… Because they all got a MD.
  47. What did Maryland see?… the same thing Arkansas. (Top 50 State Jokes)
  48. A cowboy and his blind horse: A man is casually crossing the Maryland plains when his horse died all of the sudden. The nearest town was three days walk. So, he started to walk. 3 days later he ends up in this quiet ‘ol town but nobody had a horse for sale. So he commenced to walking to the closest town which was a two days journey. Unfortunately, nobody in that town had a horse for sale, however, he did come across this stable where the fellow runnin’ it mentioned his brother in a nearby Town had a horse for sale. He commenced to walk to this next town and 2 DAYS LATER found the guy’s brother. “I talked to your brother two days walk from here and he says you might have a horse to sell me.” “Yes I do have a horse for sale,” He replied, “But he don’t look so good.” “I don’t care. I’ll take him anyways. I’ve been walking for damn near a week now. I’m tired and I need a horse.” So he gets on the horse and the horse takes off and bumps into a tree and stops. “Heyyy, something’s wrong with this horse. I think he’s blind. YOU SOLD ME A BLIND HORSE MISTER!” “I told you Sir, THE HORSE DON’T LOOK SO GOOD!”
  49. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the University of Maryland mascot? (College Mascots)
  50. Where do Maryland elementary school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Elementary School Jokes)
  51. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about Maryland?
  52. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Maryland knock-knock joke?
  53. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Maryland knock knock jokes?
  54. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe spell Maryland? 
  55. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the colleges and universities in Maryland? (Top U.S. Colleges)
  56. What Triple Crown horse race do butchers love?… The Preakness “Stakes!” (Preakness Jokes)
  57. If a plane crashed on the borders of Maryland and Pennsylvania, where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Geography Jokes for Kids & Plane Jokes)
  58. If a plane crashed on the borders of Maryland and Virginia, where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Geography Jokes for Kids & Plane Jokes)
  59. If a plane crashed on the borders of Maryland and West Virginia, where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Geography Jokes for Kids & Plane Jokes)
  60. If a plane crashed on the borders of Maryland and Delaware, where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Geography Jokes for Kids & Plane Jokes)
  61. Where do Maryland middle school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Middle School Jokes)
  62. Where do Maryland middle school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Middle School Jokes)
  63. Where do Maryland high school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (High School Jokes)
  64. Why did the Alabama teacher jump into the lake?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  65. Are you a Preakness Stakes race horse?… Yay or neigh?
  66. Are you watching the Preakness Stakes?… Yay or neigh?
  67. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name any professional sports teams in Maryland? 
  68. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the capital of Maryland? (State Capitals)
  69. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the most populated city in Maryland?  
  70. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the least populated city in Maryland?  
  71. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the highest mountain in Maryland? (Hiking Jokes)  
  72. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the longest river in Maryland?  
  73. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the two senators from Maryland? 
  74. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the governor of Maryland?
  75. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the representatives from Maryland?  
  76. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe visit Maryland?  
  77. Divorced couples in Maryland are having trouble deciding who gets the Marijuana… The judges have started issuing joint custody. (Divorce Jokes)
  78. Doctors treating President Trump for COVID-19 at Walter Reed Army Hospital in Bethesda, Maryland, report that he is delusional, combative, argumentative, and seems to have lost touch with reality…. It’s nice to see that Mr. Trump is feeling like his old self.
  79. What sporting event does the British Royal Family always follow?… The Preakness. It is part of the Triple Crown.
  80. How does a Preakness Stakes horse greet another horse?…With Southern Horspitality!
  81. Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Maryland State Lottery?… The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.
  82. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe give me the name of a great restaurant Marylans?   
  83. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the cost of living Maryland?  
  84. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me some good lakes in Maryland? 
  85. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe take me to a Maryland football game?
  86. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe take me to a Maryland basketball game?
  87. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe take me to an Maryland baseball game?
  88. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe you tell me the cost of the University of Maryland? (Top U.S. Colleges)
  89. Why did University of Maryland disband its water polo team?… All the horses drowned.
  90. What does the average University of Maryland student get on his SAT?… Drool.
  91. There is a red house a blue house and a white house. The red house is on the left the blue house is on the right wheres the white house?… in Washington DC.
  92. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the mascot? (College Mascots)
  93. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the mascot? (College Mascots)
  94. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the mascot? (College Mascots)
  95. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the mascot? (College Mascots)
  96. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the mascot? (College Mascots)
  97. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the mascot? (College Mascots)
  98. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the mascot? (College Mascots)
  99. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the mascot? (College Mascots)
  100. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the mascot? (College Mascots)
  101. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the mascot? (College Mascots)
  102. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the mascot? (College Mascots)
  103. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the mascot? (College Mascots)
  104. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the mascot? (College Mascots)
  105. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the mascot? (College Mascots)
  106. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the mascot? (College Mascots)
  107. What do you call an Maryland Terrapin in a BCS bowl game?… A referee.
  108. Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Maryland State Lottery?… The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.
  109. What do you call an Maryland Terrapin in a BCS bowl game?… A fan.
  110. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the mascot? (College Mascots)
  111. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the mascot? (College Mascots)
  112. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the mascot? (College Mascots)
  113. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the mascot? (College Mascots)
  114. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the Morgan State mascot? (College Mascots)
  115. What separates a good team from a great team?… The Maryland-Pennsylvania border.
  116. Did you hear about the power outage at the Towson University library?… Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
  117. Where do Maryland middle school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Middle School Jokes)
  118. Where do Maryland high school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (High School Jokes)
  119. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the Towson University mascot? (College Mascots)
  120. Why did the Maryland teacher jump into the pool?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  121. Why did the Maryland teacher jump into the Atlantic Ocean?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Ocean Jokes)
  122. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the Air University mascot? (College Mascots)