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(Cow Jokes)

Google Search “Cow Jokes”

July 9th is #CowAppreciationDay

  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best cow jokes.
  2. I need to be careful… I don’t want to butcher any of these jokes.
  3. Who is a dairy farmer’s favorite Celtic of all-time?… Dave “Cow” ens. (Boston Celtics Jokes)
  4. Knock Knock!… Who’s there?… Candy!… Candy who?… Candy cow jump over the moon? (10 Full Moon Jokes & Candy Jokes)
  5. Where do Russians get their milk?… From Mos-cows. (World Geography Jokes & Cow Jokes)
  6. Why did the cow cross the road?… To get to the udder side. (Car Jokes)
  7. Where do cows get together?… The meet market!
  8. Why don’t cows have any money?… Because farmers milk them dry. (Milk Jokes)
  9. What do you call a cow that doesn’t give milk?… A MILK DUD! (Milk Jokes & Candy Jokes)
  10. My friend got fired from his cow milking job because of his erratic behavior…. He was a danger to himself and udders. (Milk Jokes & Labor Day Jokes)
  11. Where do cows like to go on a field trip?… The moo-seum. (Field Trip Jokes)
  12. Why did the dairy farmer move to a ski area?… He heard that skiers do milk runs. (Skiing Jokes & Farming Jokes)
  13. Where do astronaut cows go to get milk?… The Milky Way! (Astronomy Jokes & Milk Jokes)
  14. What’s the fastest liquid on earth?… Milk. It’s pasteurized before you can see it. (Track Jokes & Milk Jokes)
  15. What did one dairy cow say to another?… Got milk? (Milk Jokes)
  16. What is a cow’s favorite time of the month?… the full mooooooooooooooooon! (Full Moon Jokes)
  17. What’s a cow’s favorite holiday?… Moo Year’s Eve. (New Year’s Eve Jokes)
  18. Where do for Super Bowl quarterbacks go when they get old?… Out to pass-ture. (Super Bowl Jokes)
  19. Why can’t a cow become a detective?… They refuse to go on Steakouts.
  20. Where did the cow family go on Father’s Day?… The moo-vies. (Movie Jokes & Father’s Day Jokes)
  21. What is the difference between the American Revolutionary War and several cows being launched into space?… One was the shot heard around the world and the other is a herd shot around the world. (Astronomy Jokes & American Revolution Jokes)
  22. What is the cow’s favorite candy bar?… Milky Way. (Milk Jokes & Candy Jokes)
  23. How do you call an Eskimo cow?… An Eskimoo! (Winter Solstice Jokes)
  24. Where do cows go on vacation?… Moo Jersey. (Cow Jokes)
  25. Where do cows go for lunch?… The calf-eteria.
  26. What do you call a sleeping bull?… A bulldozer.
  27. What do you call cattle with a sense of humor?… Laughing stock.
  28. Why does a milking stool have only 3 legs?… Because the cow has the utter. (Biology Jokes)
  29. What is a cows favorite holiday?… Moo….morial day! (Memorial Day Jokes for Kids)
  30. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Cow says…. Cow says who?… No, a cow says mooooo!
  31. What is Gru’s favorite type of steak?… Filet Minion. (Minion Jokes)
  32. A politician was crossing a pasture when he stepped into something soft. He immediately stopped and looked down to see his foot completely covered in a large cow-pie. Standing still, he cried out in terror, “Please someone help me, I’m melting!”
  33. Where does chocolate ice-cream come from?… Brown cows! (Ice Cream Jokes)
  34. What’s the difference between a $20 steak and a $55 steak?… February 14th. (Valentine’s Day Jokes & Cow Jokes)
  35. Who is a butcher’s favorite Celtic of all-time?… Dave “Cow” ens. (Boston Celtics Jokes)
  36. What band is a cow favorite?… Moooooooo dy Blues.
  37. What did mama cow say to baby cow?… It’s pasture bedtime. (Mother’s Day Jokes)
  38. What do you get when you cross an ice-cream, a dog, and a cow?… A milk-shake! (Dog Jokes / Cow Jokes / Milk Jokes)
  39. What do cows wear in Hawaii?… Moo- moos. (Hawaii Jokes)
  40. Where do cows go to summer camp?… Moo Jersey. (Cow Jokes)
  41. What would you get if you crossed George Washington with cow food?… The fodder of our country… (Presidents Day Jokes)
  42. What do you get from an Alaskan cow?…  Ice Cream! (Ice Cream Jokes & Alaska Jokes)
  43. What do you get when you cross a corn cob and a cow?… Corned Beef. (Corn Jokes)
  44. What do you get when a pasteurizing factory experiences an earthquake?… Milkshake. (Milk Jokes & Earthquake Jokes)
  45. What happens when you talk to a cow?… It goes in one ear and out the udder! (Biology Jokes)
  46. What do cows do while skiing?… Moo-Guls! (Skiing Jokes)
  47. What did Darth Vader say when he walked into a vegetarian restaurant?… “I find your lack of steak disturbing.” (May the 4th Be With You Jokes)
  48. What are a cows favorite subjects in school?… Moosic, psycowolgy, cowculus (365 School Jokes)
  49. My friend lives in Colorado and wanted to start growing weed on his cow farm. I told him it wasn’t a good idea… The steaks would be too high. (Colorado Jokes)
  50. What do you call a cow stuck in a hurricane?… a milkshake. (Milk Jokes & Hurricane Jokes)
  51. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about cows?
  52. What do you call a cow in an earthquake?… A milkshake. (Milk Jokes & Cow Jokes)
  53. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good cow knock-knock joke?
  54. Cow Puns: The steaks are high.
  55. Cow Puns:I have some real beef with that guy.
  56. Cow Puns: I got the mooves like Jagger.
  57. Cow Puns: Make sure you show up on time, otherwise Bessie will have a cow.
  58. Cow Puns: Milk it for all it’s worth.
  59. Cow Puns: I am not amoosed.
  60. Cow Puns: And then I told my therapist that I feel seen, but not herd…
  61. Cow Puns: I am udderly in love with you!… Not as mooch as I love you.
  62. Cow Puns: I always found cowculus to be the most interesting subject.
  63. Cow Puns: The cow was so excited for the day ahead that he was over the moon.
  64. Cow Puns: An udder day, an udder dollar.
  65. Cow Puns: Seize the moo-ment!
  66. Cow Puns: Holy cow!
  67. Cow Puns: Steer clear! Cows coming through!
  68. Cow Puns: Move! Get out of the hay!
  69. Cow Puns: If you feel like you’ve herd all these cow puns before, you probably have deja-moo.
  70. Cow Puns: Cow bells make such beautiful moosic.
  71. Cow Puns: A cow in an earthquake is called a milkshake.
  72. What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?… It’s pasture bedtime!
  73. Why did the two cows not like each other?… They had beef.
  74. How do you count cows?… With a cowculator!
  75. What happens when you try talking to a cow?… Everything just goes in one ear and out the udder.
  76. Where do cows eat lunch? In the calfeteria.
  77. What did one dairy cow say to the other? Got milk?
  78. What do you call a sad cow? Moo-dy.
  79. What do you call a cow that can’t make milk? A milk dud.
  80. How do you make a cow be quiet? Press the moo-te button.
  81. What do cows read in the morning? The moos-paper!
  82. How did the farmer find the missing cow? He tractor down.
  83. How do you know which cow is the best dancer? See which one has the best moo-ves.
  84. What does the cow band play? Moo-sic!
  85. Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the udder side!
  86. What does the farmer talk about while milking a cow? Udder nonsense.
  87. What do you call a cow jumping on a trampoline? A milkshake.
  88. Where do cows get all their medicine? The farmacy!
  89. How did the cow get to the moon? It went to udder space.
  90. Why did the cow jump over the moon? To get to the Milky Way.
  91. What do you call it when one cow spies on another cow? A steak-out.
  92. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
  93. What do you get if you cross a cow and rooster? Roost beef.
  94. What kind of shows do cows like best? Moosicals.
  95. What happens when a cow laughs? Milk comes out of its nose.
  96. What has the lone cow been up to lately? Nobody’s herd…
  97. How do dairy farmers do their taxes? They go to an accountant.
  98. How does a cow get to the mooooon?… It flies through udder space! (Astronomy Jokes)
  99. What did Frosty call his cow?… Eskimoo! (Frosty the Snowman Jokes)
  100. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good cow knock knock jokes? (June Jokes Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  101. What do you get if you cross an angry sheep and an upset cow?… An animal that’s in a baaaaaaaad moooooood. (Psychology Jokes)
  102. What do you call a cow you can’t see?… Camooflauged. (Veterans Day Jokes)
  103. How easy is it to milk a cow?… It’s a piece of steak.
  104. What do you get from an Alaskan cow?…  Ice Cream (Top Geography Jokes / Alaska Jokes for Kids / Cow Jokes for Kids)
  105. What do cows get when they are sick?… Hay Fever.
  106. What was the bull doing in the pasture with his eyes closed?… Bull-dozin’
  107. Where do you find the most cows?… Moo-York (Top Geography Jokes)
  108. How hot is it in Arizona?… The cows are giving evaporated milk. (Arizona Jokes)
  109. What do cows say at Christmas?… MOOey Christmas!
  110. What do cows wear in Hawaii?… Moo Moo’s. (Geography Jokes for Kids & Summer Jokes for Kids)
  111. What do cows say at Christmas?… MOOey Christmas! (Christmas Jokes)
  112. Do you know why the cow jumped over the moon?… The farmer had cold hands. (Full Moon Jokes)
  113. What do you call a cow who’s just given birth?… De-calf-inated. (Coffee Jokes)
  114. Why did the cow cross the road?… To get to the udder side.
  115. Where do for Super Bowl quarterbacks go when they get old?… Out to pass-ture. (Top 10 Super Bowl Jokes)
  116. What Is A Cows Favorite Type Of Math?… Moo-tiplication (Pi Day Jokes)
  117. Why do cows wear bells?… Their horns don’t work.
  118. What do you call an evil cow?… De-mooooon.
  119. What do you call a cow with a twitch?… Beef Jerky.
  120. Where does a cow stay when it is on vacation?… A moo-tel!
  121. What animals do you bring to bed?… Your calves.
  122. What do you call a cow that doesn’t give milk?… An udder failure.
  123. Where do cows like to ride on trains?… In the cow-boose.
  124. Where did the bull lose all his money?… At the Cowsino.
  125. How do you know it’s cold outside?… When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream! (Ice Cream Jokes & Cow Jokes)
  126. What newspaper do cows read?…The Daily Moos.
  127. How easy is it to milk a cow?… It’s a piece of steak. (Cake Jokes)
  128. What do you get when you cross a cow and a whale?… Sha-Moo. (Whale Jokes for Kids)
  129. Where do cows go on their summer vacation?… Moo York. (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  130. What do you call a cow who always takes your stuff at summer camp?… A mooooocher! (Animal Jokes for Kids & Summer Camp Jokes)
  131. What do you call a cow with full armor?… Sir loin.
  132. Where do cows go before prom?… To the moooooovies. (Prom Jokes)
  133. What do you call a cynical cow?… Sour cream.
  134. What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?… A lawn moo-er.
  135. How do you call an Eskimo cow?… An Eskimoo!
  136. How can you tell which cow is the best dancer?… Wait til one busts a moooooove.
  137. How do you make a milkshake?… Give a cow a pogo stick.
  138. What would you get if you crossed George Washington with cattle feed?… The Fodder of Our Country! (4th of July Jokes for Kids)
  139. Did you hear that NASA recently launched a bunch of Holsteins into low Earth orbit?… They called it the Herd Shot ‘Round The World! (U.S. History Jokes)
  140. What do you call a really strong cow?… Beefy.
  141. What do you get when you give pasta to a cow?… Beefaroni.
  142. Where do Russians get their milk?… From Mos-cows (World Geography Jokes)
  143. Where did the cows go last night?…To the mooon (Full Moon Jokes)
  144. What do you call it when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence?… Udder-Catastrophe.
  145. Which job is a cow most suited for?… Baker. Because they’re making cow pies regularly. (Pi Day Jokes)
  146. Why was the cow so scared?… Because he was a cow-ard.
  147. What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?… Bullogna.
  148. How does one cow talk to another?… Cow-munication.
  149. What does a cow put on his french toast?… Moooolasses.
  150. How does a farmer count a herd of cows?… With a Cowculator! (Pi Day Jokes)
  151. What do you call a cow that can cut the grass?… Mulan.
  152. What do you call a cow with an assistant?… Moooooving up in the world.
  153. What’s a cow’s favorite moosical note?… Beef-flat.
  154. What is a cows favorite colour?… Maroooooooon.
  155. What was the first animal in space?… The cow that jumped over the moon!
  156. Where do cows get their weapons?… Ar-moooo-ries. (Veterans Day Jokes)
  157. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a dairy cow?… Peanut butter.
  158. What do you get when you walk under a cow?… A pat on the head. (Biology Jokes)
  159. What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?… Milk and Quackers!
  160. Where do cows go when they want a night out?… To the moo-vies!
  161. Did you hear about the snobby cow?… She thought she was a cutlet above the rest!
  162. Where do you find the most cows?… Moo-York City. (Top Geography Jokes)
  163. What do you call a sad cow?… Mooooved to tears.
  164. What do cows wear in Hawaii?… Moo- moos (Top Geography Jokes)
  165. What did the bored cow say when she got up in the morning?… “It’s just an udder day”
  166. Did you hear that Chuck Norris is a matador?… He takes the bull by the horns.
  167. What did the cow say to the lousy renter?… Moooooooooo your self out of here.
  168. What kind of milk comes from a forgetful cow?… Milk of Amnesia (Psychology Jokes)
  169. What did the cow say to the turtle?… Get a moove on.
  170. What is the difference between a car and a bull?… A car only has one horn.
  171. What do you call a cow that’s afraid of the dark?… A coward.
  172. What do you call it when one bull spies on another bull?… A steak-out!
  173. Why are cows so soft?… Because they are made out of leather.
  174. What do call a cow that has just had a calf?… Decalfenated (Coffee Jokes)
  175. Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?…  Because her horn didn’t work
  176. Where do cows go for summer camp?… Moo York. (Summer Camp Jokes & Cow Jokes)
  177. What did the cow say when a person played the piano?… That’s good moooooosic.
  178. What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor?… Ground Beef.
  179. What do you call a cow with no front legs?… Lean Beef.
  180. What do you call a cow with no legs at all?… Ground beef
  181. What do you call a grumpy cow?… Moo-dy.
  182. Why is the barn so noisy?… Because all of the cows have horns.
  183. What do cows get when they do all their chores?… Mooooney.
  184. What did one dairy cow say to another?… Got milk?
  185. How to you know that cows will be in heaven?… It’s a place of udder delight.
  186. When is a farmer like a magician?… When he turns his cow into pasture.
  187. What do you get when you cross and smurf and a cow?… Blue cheese!
  188. What did the secret agent cow say to the other cow?… Are you udder cover?
  189. Why can’t the bankrupt cowboy complain?… He’s got no beef.
  190. What happened to the lost cattle?…N obody’s herd.
  191. Where does a cow stop to drink?… The milky way!
  192. What do you get when you cross a cow and a lawnmower?… A lawnmooer.
  193. How do you stop a bull from charging?… Take away his credit card!
  194. Why don’t you tell a cow a secret?… Because it goes in one ear and out the udder!
  195. What does an invisible man drink?… Evaporated milk!
  196. Why does the cow bring toilet paper to the party?… Because he is a party pooper.
  197. What do you find a gallery of cows?… The mooseum.
  198. What do you call a half a cow?… a calf.
  199. What happens when a cow laughs too hard?… It Cowlapses!
  200. What did one cow say to the other?… Mooooooove over!
  201. What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?… A cow walking backwards!
  202. Why was the cow sad?… She was moody.
  203. What do cows read in the mornings?… The moospaper.
  204. What did the farmer say to the cow?… Produce some milk
  205. How did the Wyoming grad die from drinking milk?… The cow fell on him! (Cow Jokes)
  206. Why are cows such great dancers?… They have all the best moooves!
  207. What did the cow tell the butcher?… Please stop, or else we’re gonna have some beef.
  208. Where would you find a cow who’s having a really bad day?… At McDonald’s.
  209. What is a cow’s favorite newspaper?… The Daily Moos.
  210. What’s an unusual way to make a milkshake?… Give a cold cow a pogo stick.
  211. What would you get if you cross an angry sheep and a grumpy cow?… An animal that’s totally in a baaaaaad moooood.
  212. Why do cows wear bells around their necks?… Their horns don’t work.
  213. What do you call a group of cows with a sense of humor?… Laughing stock.
  214. Where did the cow spend all its money?… At the cow-sino.
  215. What would you get if you milked a really forgetful cow?… Milk of Amnesia.
  216. Why won’t cows join the police force?… They refuse to participate in steak-outs.
  217. What do you call a rude cow?… Beef jerky.
  218. Why couldn’t the two cows get along?… Because they had beef with one another.
  219. What would you call a cow wearing armor?… Sir Loin.
  220. What do you call a scared cow?… A cow-ard.
  221. How did the farmer find his lost cow?… He tractor down!
  222. Why did the cow jump over the moon?… He thought the mooooon was calling to him.
  223. How do cows introduce their wives?… Hey guys! Meat Patty.
  224. Where do cows usually go on a Saturday night?… To the moovies!
  225. What would feed a bratty cow?… Spoiled milk.
  226. What did one cow say to the other on a cold night? …“I don’t really know about you but I’m Fresian.”
  227. What do you call a cow after an earthquake?… A milkshake.
  228. Why did the farmer stop making cow jokes?… He kept butchering every one.
  229. What do you use to count cows?… A cow-culator.
  230. What do you call a magic cow?… Moo-dini.
  231. What happened when the cow ran into the fence?… It was udderly destructed.
  232. What do cows put on french toast?… Mooooolasses.
  233. How does lady gaga usually like her steak?… Raw, raw, raw, raw, raw!
  234. What do you call a cow that can’t produce milk?… An udder failure.
  235. What did the cow say when the farmer pulled its tail?… How dairy!
  236. What do you call a cow that blends in with its surroundings? Cow-moo-flauged.
  237. What is a cow’s favorite magazine? Moogue.
  238. When one cow said “Mooo!” to the other, what was the second cow’s reply? “I was going to say that!”
  239. Why did the farmer buy a brown cow? He wanted chocolate milk!
  240. What did the cow say to its therapist? “I feel seen, but not herd.”
  241. What would happen if you tried talking to a cow? Everything would just go in one ear and out the udder.
  242. Why did the artist love painting cows? He said they were his moos.
  243. Why does a milking stool only have three legs? Because the cow has the udder.
  244. What do you get when you cross a cow and a rooster? Roost beef.
  245. Where do cow farts come from? Their dairy-ère.
  246. What kind of lunch meat do cows like best? A bull-ogna.
  247. Why do cows stay close together when it’s cold out? To keep each udder warm! 50. Who’s in charge of the dairy operations? The cow-ptain.
  248. Can you make money owning cows? Yes, I’ve herd it’s really profitable.
  249. What did the cow say when the bull broke up with her? Without you, I’ll never be whole milk again!
  250. What animal goes “oom, oom”? A cow walking backwards.
  251. What is a cow’s dream job? Being an udder cover agent.
  252. What do cows say when they hear a bad joke? “I am not amoosed.”
  253. What is a cow’s favorite color? Marooooooon.
  254. How would you address the queen of cows? Your Moojesty.
  255. Why do cows want to see Times Square? Because it’s in Moo York City.
  256. What did the cow say before making a risky poker bet? The steaks have never been higher. 6
  257. What song do cows love to sing? I’ve got the mooooves like Jagger.
  258. What do you call a hurt cow? Ow.
  259. What do you call a cruel cow? A de-moooon.
  260. Why are cows always telling each other jokes? To keep themselves amoosed!
  261. What do you call a cow on a diet? Lean beef.
  262. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? cow jokes lactose Because they lactose.
  263. What did the cows do after someone broke into the barn? They beefed up their security.
  264. Why is telling a cow a funny cow joke pointless? They’ve probably herd it before.
  265. Where do Russian cows come from? Mos-cow 69. Where do cows get their medicine? At the farm-acy.
  266. Where do young cows eat lunch? At the calf-eteria.
  267. What happens when a cow has PMS? It gets moo-dy.
  268. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
  269. What math problems do cows like to solve? Moo-tiplication problems.
  270. What do you call a cow that eats grass? A lawn-mooer.
  271. What did the police cow say to the bad guy he caught? Don’t mooooooove a moo-scle.
  272. How do you make Swiss cheese? Using milk from a holey cow.
  273. What did the cow shout when it did a cannonball into the swimming pool? “Cow-abunga!”
  274. Where do cows go on their days off? To a moo-seum.
  275. What did the cow say about the farmer’s bad outfit? That outfit is so bad it’s laugha-bull.
  276. Why do cows huddle together when it rains? To keep each udder dry.
  277. Why is it so hard to hurt a cow’s feelings? Their hides are so thick.
  278. What did one cow ask its friend? “Got milk?”
  279. Why do cows like to go to the spa? To get some re-hoove-ination.
  280. What do cows say when they apologize to one another? Sorry, I made a mis-steak.
  281. What is a cow’s favorite subject in school? cow jokes school Cowculus.
  282. What did the farmer say to lazy the cow? Just give me 2% milk.
  283. When is milk the freshest? When it’s still in the cow!
  284. Why did the calf cry at school? There was a bully there.
  285. What did the cow say when someone told her a lie? Sounds like a lot of bull to me.
  286. What type of camera do cows use? Cow-non.
  287. What is a cow’s favorite movie series? Steer Wars.
  288. What is the best way to get a cow to be quiet? Just press the moo-te button.
  289. When you cross a smurf with a cow, what do you get? Blue cheese.
  290. When you cross two ducks and a cow, what do you get? Quackers and milk.
  291. What did Donald Trump tell the cow? That’s fake moos!
  292. What do cows do when they go skiing? Moo-guls.
  293. Why do cows work? To make mooooney. 99. What is as big as a cow but weighs nothing? His shadow.
  294. What happens when cows stop shaving? They grow moostaches. 1
  295. Why did the cow look so confused?
  296. What do you call a prom for cows?… “The Mooo-ving Celebration!”
  297. Where do cows go on field trips?…MOOOOvies.

10.8.22