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Google Search “Hawaii Jokes”

  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Hawaii jokes.
  2. What’s a short, quiet Hawaiian laugh?… Aloha.
  3. I burnt my Hawaiian pizza the other day.. I should have cooked it on aloha temperature. (Pizza Jokes)
  4. I couldn’t afford the trip to Hawaii… I had to put it on “leiaway.” (Travel Blogs)
  5. Did you hear the joke about Diamond Head?… You won’t get over it. (Hiking Jokes & 11 Beautiful Hawaii Mountains)
  6. Why didn’t the passengers receive flowers when their plane landed in Hawaii?… Their flight was deleied. (Plane Jokes & Flower Jokes)
  7. What do you get when you cross a hula hoop and a boxer?… Hawaiian Punch. (Boxing Jokes)
  8. Hawaii is hosting a party for all the states. Hawaii says, “Be there or be square!” Unfortunately, Colorado and Wyoming didn’t attend. (Wyoming Jokes & Colorado Jokes)
  9. What do you call a Hawaiian with a cold?… A Polysneezin. (Doctor Jokes)
  10. Steve is in his car driving on the highway by the ocean in California when he stops and asks God for just 1 wish for being a super faithful and good human being. God instantly appears and tells Steve that he has earned right for one wish. Steve says, “I wish for a bridge from here to Hawaii so that I can drive there and have a great time.” God replies, “Ehhhh! Your wish is too materialistic! I would have to get the concrete, carefully think about the design, along with pipes and suspensions for balance and aesthetics. It would be quite a bit to handle on my part! Wish something else and I will grant it.” Greg thinks for a moment and then says, “Hmmm… Okay, I wish to be able to read women’s minds. I want to know exactly what they’re thinking at all times, what they mean when they say ‘nothing’. Basically, I want to understand women inside out.” God says, “So do you want 2 lanes or 4 lanes on that bridge?” (Car Jokes)
  11. Hawaii Pun: Diamond Head is a girl’s best friend. (Marriage Jokes)
  12. How many Hawaiians does it take to change a lightbulb?… None. Lava lamps don’t burn out man! (Geology Jokes & Volcano Jokes)
  13. Did you hear about the Hawaiian geologist who died?… Apparently, she fell head over heels in lava. (Geology Jokes & Volcano Jokes)
  14. Everyone thinks I’m weird because I’m addicted to ham and pineapple sandwiches… But that’s just Hawaii roll. (Sandwich Jokes)
  15. Over the summer, Hawaii is expected to break the hottest temperatures ever recorded in its entire history, some places as hot as 101°F… NOT cool. (Summer Jokes & Heat Wave Jokes)
  16. On January 13, 2018, everyone in Hawaii was mad about the malfunction of the early warning system, the fools… Hawaii IS the early warning system… (January Jokes)
  17. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Hawaii… Hawaii who?… I’m fine, how are you? (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids)
  18. What’s the scariest day on the Hawaiian calendar?…Hula-ween. (Halloween Jokes & October Jokes)
  19. How did the Hawaiian hipster die?… He walked on lava before it was cool. (Geology Jokes & Volcano Jokes)
  20. Where does a Hawaiian fish keep their money?… In the riverbanks of the Hanalei River. (Ten Longest Rivers in Hawaii)
  21. Why won’t any of Hawaii’s bicycles stand up by themselves?… They are two tired. (Bike Jokes)
  22. A tourist in Hawaii is amazed at how healthy and invigorated he feels after just a few days into visiting the islands… He strikes up a conversation with one of the locals while they are wading out into the crystal clear, warm surf on yet another perfect island day. “I just can’t get over how beautiful this place is,” the tourist says excitedly, “I feel great! I haven’t felt this young and healthy in years! Island life is fantastic!” The local says, “I know what you mean! Take me for instance. When I came here I was totally bald, didn’t have any teeth and I couldn’t even walk…and look at me now!” The tourist looks at him and says, “Wow, that’s amazing! How long have you been here?” The local says, “Oh, I was born here.” (Baby Jokes)
  23. What is the Hawaii volcano always trying to get rid of?… It’s lava handles. (Geology Jokes & Volcano Jokes)
  24. Tourist: “Lived in this town all your life?” Hawaii Resident: “No, not yet.”
  25. Hawaii Pun: Here today, gone to Maui.
  26. I have the heart of a lion… And a lifetime ban from the Honolulu Zoo(Zoo Jokes)
  27. Tourist: “Nice little town — so old and quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?” Hawaii Resident: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.” (Labor Day Jokes & Travel Blogs)
  28. Hawaii Pun: Keep palm and carry on. (Tree Jokes)
  29. Why should you never buy golf equipment made in Hawaii?… Because Hawaii drivers are terrible. (Golf Jokes & Car Jokes)
  30. In what state does the Wailuku River flow?… Liquid.  (10 Longest Rivers in Hawaii)
  31. Hawaii Pun: I can’t wait to Maui you. (Marriage Jokes & Wedding Jokes)
  32. A Ph.D. student, a post-doc, and a professor are walking through a city park and they find and antique oil lamp. They rub it and a genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The genie says, “I usually only grant three wishes, so I’ll give each of you just one.” “Me first! Me first!” says the Ph.D. student. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat with a gorgeous woman who sunbathes topless.” Poof! He’s gone. “Me next! Me next!” says the post-doc. “I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with a professional hula dancer on one side and a Mai Tai on the other.” Poof! He’s gone. “You’re next,” the genie says to the professor. The professor says, “I want those guys back in the lab after lunch.” (Psychology Jokes)
  33. What do you call a Hawaiian murder mystery?… A Hula-Dunnit. (Book Jokes)
  34. What do cows wear in Hawaii?… Moo- moos. (Cow Jokes)
  35. Speaking of driving… Hawaii roads are adventurous because no one knows how to drive.
  36. Why did the Hawaii teacher jump into the Pacific ocean?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Ocean Jokes)
  37. What do you call a dishonest cat at the Honolulu Zoo?… Lion. (Oregon Jokes & Zoo Jokes)
  38. What did Lake Waiau say to the shore?… Nothing, it waved. (15 Best Lakes in Hawaii)
  39. My geometry teacher went to Hawaii… When he came back, he was a tan gent. (Geometry Jokes & Math Jokes for Teachers)
  40. I knew I guy from Hawaii who had a weird laugh. Some describe it as a cackle, but I always thought it was more of a low ha. 
  41. Where in Hawaii do you want to go?… Can you be more Pacific? (Ocean Jokes)
  42. Hawaii Pun: You had me at Aloha. (Movie Jokes)
  43. What is a Hawaii cloud’s favorite drink?… Mountain Dew. (Hiking Jokes & Skiing Jokes)
  44. How exactly to you get from California to Hawaii?… By crossing the specific ocean. (Ocean Jokes)
  45. What did Godzilla say after he devoured Hawaii?… “I WANT SAMOA!” 
  46. Why is a Wailua River rich? …. Because it has two banks.
  47. What did Hawaii see?… The same thing Arkansas. (Top 50 State Jokes)
  48. In the news, Hawaii had it’s first remote trial via zoom… It looks like things will be settled out of court. (Lawyer Jokes)
  49. A retired Hawaii man was jailed for refusing to nap… …he was resisting a rest. (Napping Jokes)
  50. Did you guys hear about that girl they found murdered in Hawaii?… They found her covered in milk with cheerios still in her mouth… They think it was a cereal killer. (Cereal Jokes)
  51. A Hawaii man was arrested for stealing a truck filled with $56,000 worth of Campbell’s soup…. I, for one, hope this guy goes away for ‘Mmm, mmm, good!’
  52. How do the zebras at the Honolulu Zoo play baseball?… Three stripes and you’re out! (Baseball Jokes)
  53. What has a mouth but can’t eat?… The Wailuku River! (Ten Longest Rivers in Hawaii)
  54. Hawaii Pun: Aloha, is it me you’re looking for? (365 Music Jokes)
  55. Teacher: Where were you born? Student: Hawaii. Teacher: Which part? Student: What do you mean, ‘which part’? My whole body was born in Hawaii! (Teacher Jokes)
  56. What is a Hawaii mountain’s favorite type of candy?… Snow caps. (Hiking Jokes Candy Jokes)
  57. What goes hundreds of miles and never moves?… The Hawaii Turnpike!
  58. What is the tallest building in?… Hawaii State Public Library of course, it has the most stories! (Library Jokes)
  59. Can you name the capitol of Hawaii?… “H”
  60. Why can’t Diamond Head and Haleakala play hide and seek?… Because they like to peak.
  61. Why did Cali phone ya (California)?… She called to say Hawhi ya (Hawaii) (California Jokes)
  62. Hawaii Pun: Hawaii Oahu doin’?
  63. My favorite part of winter is watching it on TV from Hawaii. (Winter Jokes)
  64. Hawaii Pun: Waikiki, do you love me? 
  65. How do Hawaiians greet Admiral Ackbar?… Aloha Ackbar! (Star Wars Jokes)
  66. What runs but never goes out of breath?… The Wailua River! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  67. Hawaii Pun: Hawaii Hana nice day!
  68. Over the winter, Hawaii is expected to break the coldest temperatures ever recorded in its entire history, some places as hot as 11°F… NOT cool.. FREEZING. (Winter Jokes)
  69. Where do Hawaii middle school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Middle School Jokes)
  70. How many Hawaii men do you need before you can make change for a dollar?… You can’t. Nobody in Hawaii has any cents.
  71. What does the average Hawaii high school student get on his SAT?… Drool. (College Jokes)
  72. Why do Hawaii students have TGIF on their shoes?… Toes Go In First!
  73. No, really. I’ve been holding my breath for someone in Hawaii to use their turn signal and I haven’t breathed since 2005. (Car Jokes)
  74. Mauna Loa hasn’t erupted in over 30 years, but I’ve been told “Lava will find a way.” (Geology Jokes & Volcano Jokes)
  75. Where do Hawaiin fish keep their money?… In the riverbanks of the Kolekole Stream. (Ten Longest Rivers in Hawaii)
  76. Hawaii: America hates us because America ain’t us.
  77. Hawaii: We’re not sure who is dumber – the politicians or the voters. (Election Jokes)
  78. How do you get a man in Hawaiian to do sit-ups?… Put the remote control between his toes.
  79. Nightmares in other states are just visions of what’s really going on in Hawaii.
  80. How many University of Hawaii freshman does it take to change a light bulb?… None, it’s a sophomore course.
  81. Hawaii: If You Don’t Surf, Don’t Bother! 
  82. What do you get if you cross an iPad with a Christmas tree?… A pineapple! (Christmas Tree Jokes & Computer Jokes)
  83. After a long hard day my wife asked to cook her an Hawaiian pizza! She wasn’t to happy to see I’d burnt her dinner, after all I should’ve cooked it on aloha temperature! (Marriage Jokes)
  84. Why is “The Wave” banned in Aloha Stadium?… Two Rainbow Warriors fans drowned last year. (Rainbow Jokes)
  85. Divorced couples in Hawaii are having trouble deciding who gets the Marijuana… The judges have started issuing joint custody. (Divorce Jokes)
  86. What do you call the event between two cities that legalized marijuana?… The Super Bowl.
  87. Yes, marijuana is legal in Hawaii… now leaf the jokes alone.
  88. Did you hear the rumor about Kilauea and Mauna Loa?… All they do is make lava. (Geology Jokes & Volcano Jokes)
  89. Why do Honolulu Community College students have such beautiful noses?… They’re hand picked. (College Jokes)
  90. Why did the Rainbow Warriors regents decide to cover Aloha Stadium in cardboard?… Because the Rainbow Warriors always look better on paper. (College Jokes & Rainbow Jokes)
  91. Why did Kilauea volcano destroy homes in Pahoa?… Lava is blind. (Geology Jokes & Volcano Jokes)
  92. What do you call a fat pineapple?… A pineapple chunk!
  93. Where do Hawaii high school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (High School Jokes)
  94. Can you name the capital of Hawaii?… “H”
  95. What runs but never goes out of breath?… The Anahulu River! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  96. Why did the Hawaiian teacher jump into the pool?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  97. Why did the Hawaiian teacher jump into the lake?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  98. What do you buy a friend graduating from University of Hawaii Law School?… A lobotomy. (Graduation Jokes)
  99. What do you call an Hawaiian football player with a championship ring?… A thief! (College Football Jokes)
  100. What do cows wear to summer camp in Hawaii?… Moo Moo’s. (Cow Jokes & Summer Camp Jokes)
  101. If a plane crashed on the border of Hawaii and the Pacific Ocean where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  102. What do two Hawaiian volcanoes like to do?… Make lava.
  103. Why can’t Admiral Ackbar fly to Hawaii?… “Aloha Ackbar” doesn’t go over well at the airport. 
  104. What’s a very, very quiet laugh in Hawaii?… A low ha.
  105. What kind of cigarettes do Hawaiians smoke?… Mahalo bro lights.
  106. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about Hawaii?
  107. Where do Hawaii elementary school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Elementary School Jokes)
  108. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Hawaii knock-knock joke?
  109. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Hawaii knock knock jokes? (June Jokes Spring Knock Knock Jokes)