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More “Hawaii Jokes”

  1. I burnt my Hawaiian pizza the other day.. I should have cooked it on aloha temperature. (Pizza Jokes)
  2. What do you get when you cross a hula hoop and a boxer?… Hawaiian Punch.
  3. What’s the scariest day on the Hawaiian calendar?…Hula-ween.
  4. Hawaii is hosting a party for all the states. Hawaii says, “be there or be square!” Unfortunately, Colorado and Wyoming didn’t attend. (Wyoming Jokes & Colorado Jokes)
  5. Did you hear about the Hawaiian geologist who died?… Apparently, she fell head over heels in lava.
  6. What do cows wear in Hawaii?… Moo- moos
  7. Why did Cali phone ya (California)?… She called to say Hawhi ya (Hawaii)
  8. What’s a short, quiet Hawaiian laugh? Aloha.
  9. What do cows wear to summer camp in Hawaii?… Moo Moo’s. (Cow Jokes & Summer Camp Jokes)
  10. How did the Hawaiian hipster die?… He walked on lava before it was cool.
  11. Absolutely livid. I bought a Hawaiian pizza for lunch and I’ve just burned it. Should’ve cooked it on aloha temperature.
  12. After a long hard day my wife asked to cook her an Hawaiian pizza! She wasn’t to happy to see i’d burnt her dinner, after all I should’ve cooked it on aloha temperature!
  13. How do Hawaiians greet Admiral Ackbar? Aloha Ackbar!
  14. What do you call a Hawaiian murder mystery?… A Hula-Dunnit.
  15. Did you hear the rumor about Kilauea and Mauna Loa?… All they do is make lava.
  16. What is a volcano always trying to get rid of?… It’s lava handles
  17. Why is “The Wave” banned in Aloha Stadium?… Two Rainbow Warriors fans drowned last year.
  18. What do two Hawaiian volcanoes like to do?… Make lava.
  19. Why do Honolulu Community College students have such beautiful noses?… They’re hand picked.
  20. Why did the Rainbow Warriors regents decide to cover Aloha Stadium in cardboard?… Because the Rainbow Warriors always look better on paper.
  21. Why do Hawaii students have TGIF on their shoes?… Toes Go In First!
  22. How many Hawaiians does it take to change a lightbulb?… None. Lava lamps don’t burn out man!
  23. What do you buy a friend graduating from University of Hawaii Law School?… A lobotomy.
  24. Why did Kilauea volcano destroy homes in Pahoa?… Lava is blind.
  25. What do you call a fat pineapple?… A pineapple chunk!
  26. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Hawaii… Hawaii who?… I’m fine, how are you?
  27. Can you name the capitol of Hawaii?… “H”
  28. What did Lake Waiau say to the shore?… Nothing, it waved.  (15 Best Lakes in Hawaii)
  29. What is the tallest building in?… Hawaii State Public Library of course, it has the most stories! (Library Jokes)
  30. What goes hundreds of miles and never moves?… The Hawaii Turnpike!
  31. Where do a fish keep their money?… In the riverbanks of the Hanalei River. (Ten Longest Rivers in Hawaii)
  32. What has a mouth but can’t eat?… The Wailuku River!
  33. What runs but never goes out of breath?… The Wailua River! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  34. If a plane crashed on the borders of Hawaii where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  35. Teacher: Where were you born? Student: North Dakota. Teacher: Which part? Student: What do you mean, ‘which part’? My whole body was born in ! (Teacher Jokes)
  36. Did you hear the joke about Diamond Head?… You won’t get over it. (Hiking Jokes & 11 Beautiful Hawaii Mountains)
  37. Tourist: “Lived in this town all your life?” Resident: “No, not yet.”
  38. Tourist: “Nice little town — so old and quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?” Resident: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.” (Labor Day Jokes & Travel Blogs)
  39. Where do Hawaii elementary school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Elementary School Jokes)
  40. Where do Hawaii middle school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Middle School Jokes)
  41. Where do Hawaii high school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (High School Jokes)
  42. Can you name the capital of Hawaii?… “H”
  43. What did Lake say to the shore?… Nothing, it waved.  (15 Best Lakes in Hawaii)
  44. What is the tallest building in?… Hawaii Public Library of course, it has the most stories! (Library Jokes)
  45. What goes hundreds of miles and never moves?… The Hawaii Turnpike!
  46. Where do a fish keep their money?… In the riverbanks of the Kolekole Stream. (Ten Longest Rivers in Hawaii)
  47. What has a mouth but can’t eat?… The Waimea River!
  48. What runs but never goes out of breath?… The Anahulu River! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  49. If a plane crashed on the border of Hawaii where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  50. Teacher: Where were you born? Student: North Dakota. Teacher: Which part? Student: What do you mean, ‘which part’? My whole body was born in ! (Teacher Jokes)
  51. Did you hear the joke about Mountain?… You won’t get over it. (Hiking Jokes)
  52. Montana, where the elevation is usually a bigger number than the town’s population. (Hiking Jokes)
  53. A couple in Montana had a baby… Now their population is 17! (Baby Jokes)
  54. A cowboy and his blind horse: A man is casually crossing the Montana plains when his horse died all of the sudden. The nearest town was three days walk. So, he started to walk. 3 days later he ends up in this quiet ‘ol town but nobody had a horse for sale. So he commenced to walking to the closest town which was a two days journey. Unfortunately, nobody in that town had a horse for sale, however, he did come across this stable where the fellow runnin’ it mentioned his brother in a nearby Town had a horse for sale. He commenced to walk to this next town and 2 DAYS LATER found the guy’s brother. “I talked to your brother two days walk from here and he says you might have a horse to sell me.” “Yes I do have a horse for sale,” He replied, “But he don’t look so good.” “I don’t care. I’ll take him anyways. I’ve been walking for damn near a week now. I’m tired and I need a horse.” So he gets on the horse and the horse takes off and bumps into a tree and stops. “Heyyy, something’s wrong with this horse. I think he’s blind. YOU SOLD ME A BLIND HORSE MISTER!” “I told you Sir, THE HORSE DON’T LOOK SO GOOD!”
  55. What runs but never goes out of breath?… The River! (Ten Longest Rivers in Montana)
  56. Tourist: “Lived in this town all your life?” Resident: “No, not yet.”
  57. Tourist: “Nice little town — so old and quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?” Resident: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.” (Labor Day Jokes & Travel Blogs)
  58. Where do [state] elementary school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Elementary School Jokes)
  59. Where do [state] middle school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Middle School Jokes)
  60. Where do [state] high school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (High School Jokes)
  61. Why did the [state] teacher jump into the pool?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  62. Why did the [state] teacher jump into the lake?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  63. Why did the [state] teacher jump into the ocean?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Ocean Jokes)
  64. Why did the [state] teacher jump into the river?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)State has TWO capitals. Can you name them?… “N” and “D”
  65. What did Lake say to the shore?… Nothing, it waved.  (15 Best Lakes in South Carolina)
  66. What is the tallest building in?… Public Library of course, it has the most stories! (Library Jokes)
  67. What goes hundreds of miles and never moves?… The Turnpike!
  68. Where do a fish keep their money?… In the riverbanks of the . (Ten Longest Rivers in North Dakota)
  69. What has a mouth but can’t eat?… The River!
  70. What runs but never goes out of breath?… The River! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  71. If a plane crashed on the borders of where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  72. Teacher: Where were you born? Student: North Dakota. Teacher: Which part? Student: What do you mean, ‘which part’? My whole body was born in ! (Teacher Jokes)
  73. Did you hear the joke about Mountain?… You won’t get over it. (Hiking Jokes)
  74. Tourist: “Lived in this town all your life?” Resident: “No, not yet.”
  75. Tourist: “Nice little town — so old and quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?” Resident: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.” (Labor Day Jokes & Travel Blogs)
  76. Where do [state] elementary school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Elementary School Jokes)
  77. Where do [state] middle school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Middle School Jokes)
  78. Where do [state] high school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (High School Jokes)