Top 50 State Jokes

by | Jun 20, 2019 | Education, Latest News, School Jokes | 0 comments

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  1. North Carolina Jokes: (1/9) Duke students have trouble spelling “Krzyzewski.” UNC students have trouble spelling “Smith.” (World’s Best Basketball Jokes & Grammar Jokes)
  2. Idaho Jokes: What is Santa’s favorite place to deliver presents?… Idaho-ho-ho! (Christmas Jokes) (2/9)
  3. Texas Jokes: Astronauts released a photo of Hurricane Harvey as seen from the International Space Station. They sent a short message along with the photograph; “Houston, you have a problem.” (Hurricane Jokes & Astronomy Jokes) (NR)
  4. Louisiana Jokes: How long does it take to get from Louisiana to Alabama?… One Mississippi. (Alabama Jokes & Mississippi Jokes) (1/5)
  5. New Hampshire Jokes: Did you know New Hampshire has TWO capitals?… “N” & “H” (1/5)
  6. New Mexico Jokes: New Mexico has TWO capitals. Can you name them?… “N” and “M” (1/5)
  7. Massachusetts Jokes: If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflowers bring?… Pilgrims (The Mayflower Ship) (Thanksgiving Day Joke for Kids) (1/6)
  8. California Jokes: What happens when the smog lifts over Los Angeles?… UCLA. (1/6)
  9. Florida Jokes: Why is it easy to get into Florida?… Because there are so many keys. (1/6)
  10. Arizona Jokes: What is the #1 drink in Phoenix?… Iced-T, Arizona Iced-T of course. (Iced Tea Jokes) (1/6)
  11. Delaware Jokes: What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware?…”Get in the boat, men!” (American Revolution Jokes) (1/6)
  12. Maine Jokes: What happened when a Maine fisherman was late to work?… She lobster job. (Lobster Jokes) (1/6)
  13. Mississippi Jokes: How long does it take to get from Louisiana to Alabama?… One Mississippi. (Louisiana Jokes & Mississippi Jokes) (1/6)
  14. Alaska Jokes: What do you get from an Alaskan cow?…  Ice Cream! (Ice Cream Jokes) (1/7)
  15. Missouri Jokes: Why were Missouri and Maine admitted as states at the same time?… Because Missouri loves company. (1/7)
  16. Wisconsin Jokes: What is Rudolph’s favorite NBA basketball team?… The Milwaukee Bucks. (Christmas Jokes & Wisconsin Jokes) (1/7)
  17. Vermont Jokes: Tourist: “Hey, buddy! Does this road go to Montpelier?” Vermont Native: “Nope. Stays right here.”Tourist: “No, I mean can I take this road to Montpelier?” Vermont Native: “Don’t think you can get it in your car.” Tourist: “Well, if I drive down this road, will I get to Montpelier?” Vermont Native: “Don’t know how good a driver you are.” Tourist: “You don’t know anything, do you?” Vermont Native: “I know I ain’t lost.” Tourist: “There’s not much between you and an idiot, is there?” Vermont Native: “Just this yard and that fence.” (1/7)
  18. Georgia Jokes: What is the most popular summer dessert for teachers in Georgia?… Peach pi. (Jokes for the Last Day of School) (1/9)
  19. Indiana Jokes: Can you name the capital of Indiana?… “I” (1/9)
  21. North Dakota: North Dakota has TWO capitals. Can you name them?… “N” and “D” (2/1)
  22. Oklahoma Jokes: What is a tree’s favorite state?… “Oak” lahoma. (2/1)
  23. Illinois Jokes: What is the loudest state in America?… Ill – i – NOISE!What is the loudest state in America?… Ill – i – NOISE! (2/2)
  24. West Virginia Jokes: (2/2)
  25. Minnesota Jokes: Which state has the smallest drink?… Minnesota (Mini-soda) (2/3)
  26. South Carolina Jokes: Two weevils grew up in South Carolina One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils. (2/3)
  27. Connecticut Jokes: The Patriots aren’t going to the Super Bowl this year… I’m deflated. (Super Bowl Jokes)(2/4)
  28. Arkansas Jokes: Which state has the most pirates?… Arrrrrrrkansas. (Pirate Jokes) (2/5)
  29. Nebraska Jokes: What do you call a Nebraskan who hates Democratic Presidents?… A CORNservative. (Presidents Day Jokes & Corn Jokes) (2/5)
  30. Nebraska Jokes: What do you call a Nebraskan who hates Democratic Presidents?… A CORNservative. (Presidents Day Jokes & Corn Jokes) (2/5)
  31. Kansas Jokes: If Dorothy missed Kansas, what did Toto miss?… They missed the rains down in Africa. (Music Jokes / Movie Jokes / Rain Jokes / World Geography Jokes / Dog Jokes) (2/7)
  32. Alabama Jokes: Why is Alabama the smartest state?… Because it has 4 A’s and 1 B! (Back to School Jokes & Alabama Jokes for Kids) (2/8)
  33. Iowa Jokes: Who is the favorite TV character in Iowa?… Benjamin Franklin “Hawkeye” Pierce from MASH. (3/1)
  34. Kentucky Jokes: I was surprised when a friend said he’ll work at KFC right after high school graduation.. Out of curiosity, I asked him why. All he said was, “It’s on my bucket list.” (Fast Food Jokes / Graduation Jokes / Chicken Jokes) (3/1)
  35. Maryland Jokes: What’s the happiest state in the union?… Merry-land! (3/2)
  36. Montana Jokes: Montana, where the elevation is usually a bigger number than the town’s population. (Hiking Jokes) (3/3)
  37. Michigan Jokes: What do you call someone from Detroit who talks a lot?… A Motor City mouth! (3/5)
  38. New York Jokes: Where do cows go on vacation?… Moo York. (Cow Jokes) (3/8)
  39. Nevada Jokes: What did Lake Tahoe say to the shore?… Nothing, it waved. (15 Best Lakes in Nevada) (NR)
  40. Ohio Jokes: What’s high in the middle and circular on both ends?… Ohio. (NR)
  41. Tennessee Jokes: What did Tennessee see?… the same thing Arkansas. (NR)
  42. Virginia Jokes: Teacher: “Which son of old Virginia wrote the Declaration of Independence?” Student: “I think it was Thomas Jeffer’s son.” (American Revolution Jokes) (NR)
  43. Washington Jokes: (NR)
  44. Colorado Jokes: What did the puny rock say to the big muscle rock?… I wish I were boulder! (1/3)
  45. Utah Jokes: Utah Pun: This state is be-Utah-ful! (1/3)
  46. Rhode Island Jokes: “Welcome to Rhode Island! Enjoy it, because you’ll be through it in 40 minutes.” (1/4)
  47. Oregon Jokes: Prior to officially becoming a part of the United States, what was Oregon like?… It was very unOregonized. (1/3)
  48. South Dakota Jokes: If something goes wrong with the 4th of July celebration at Mt. Rushmore… It will be a monumental disaster. (4th of July Jokes) (1/3)
  49. Wyoming Jokes: What state asks the most questions?… “Why” oming! (1/5)
  50. New Jersey Jokes: Where is the best place to shop for a hockey shirt?… New Jersey. (Geography Jokes for Kids & Hockey Jokes))(NR)
  51. Pennsylvania Jokes: Which colonists told the most jokes?… Punsylvanians! (American Revolution Jokes & 4th of July Jokes) (1/9)
  52. Hawaii Jokes: I burnt my Hawaiian pizza the other day.. I should have cooked it on aloha temperature. (Pizza Jokes) (1/4)

Alphabetical Listing

  1. 101 North Carolina Jokes: Duke students have trouble spelling “Krzyzewski.” UNC students have trouble spelling “Smith.” (World’s Best Basketball Jokes & Grammar Jokes)

  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best jokes about .
  2. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about State?
  3. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good State knock-knock joke?
  4. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good State knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  5. Why should you never buy golf equipment made in New Jersey?… Because New Jersey drivers are terrible. (Golf Jokes & Car Jokes)
  6. I have the heart of a lion… And a lifetime ban from the Oregon Zoo. (Zoo Jokes)
  7. How do the zebras at the Oregon Zoo play baseball?… Three stripes and you’re out! (Baseball Jokes)
  8. What do you call a dishonest cat at the Oregon Zoo?… Lion. (Oregon Jokes & Zoo Jokes)
  9. Why won’t any of Colorado’s bicycles stand up by themselves?… They are two tired. (Bike Jokes)
  10. In what state does the Willamette River flow?… Liquid. 
  11. What is a mountain’s favorite type of candy?… Snow caps. (Hiking Jokes & Candy Jokes)
  12. Over the summer, Oregon is expected to break the hottest temperatures ever recorded in its entire history, some places as hot as 122°F… NOT cool. (Summer Jokes & Heat Wave Jokes)
  13. Speaking of driving… Rhode Island roads are adventurous because no one knows how to drive.
  14. Over the winter, Wyoming is expected to break the coldest temperatures ever recorded in its entire history, some places as hot as -67°F… NOT cool.. FREEZING. (Winter Jokes)
  15. Why is a River Liffey rich? …. Because it has two banks.
  16. What do you call a bounty hunter from the South?… Bubba Fett.
  17. Hawaii is hosting a party for all the states. Hawaii says, “be there or be square!” Unfortunately, Colorado and Wyoming didn’t attend. (Hawaii Jokes & Colorado Jokes)
  18. What did Florida see?… The same thing Arkansas. (Top 50 State Jokes)
  19. In the news, Florida had it’s first remote trial via zoom… It looks like things will be settled out of court. (Lawyer Jokes)
  20. A Florida man was arrested for stealing a truck filled with $56,000 worth of Campbell’s soup…. I, for one, hope this guy goes away for ‘Mmm, mmm, good!’
  21. Why can’t Mt. Hood and Mt. Bachelor play hide and seek?… Because they like to peak. (Oregon Jokes & Ghost Jokes)
  22. How many Florida men do you need before you can make change for a dollar?… You can’t. Nobody in Florida has any cents.
  23. Did you guys hear about that girl they found murdered in Colorado?… They found her covered in milk with cheerios still in her mouth… They think it was a cereal killer. (Cereal Jokes)
  24. What is a Colorado clouds favorite drink?… Mountain Dew. (Hiking Jokes & Skiing Jokes)
  25. A retired Florida man was jailed for refusing to nap… …he was resisting a rest. (Napping Jokes)
  26. What does the average Florida high school student get on his SAT?… Drool. (College Jokes)
  27. Why do Florida students have TGIF on their shoes?… Toes Go In First!
  28. No, really. I’ve been holding my breath for someone in Florida to use their turn signal and I haven’t breathed since 2005. (Car Jokes)
  29. Florida: America hates us because America ain’t us.
  30. Florida: We’re not sure who is dumber – the politicians or the voters. (Election Jokes)
  31. How do you get a man in Floridian to do sit-ups?… Put the remote control between his toes.
  32. Nightmares in other states are just visions of what’s really going on in Florida.
  33. How many Florida State University freshman does it take to change a light bulb?… None, it’s a sophomore course.
  34. Colorado: If You Don’t Ski, Don’t Bother! (Skiing Jokes)
  35. A man dies at the Arizona, Colorado, New Mexico, and Utah border… He had to have four coroners. (Cemetery Jokes & Top 10 Jokes for Each State)
  36. Tourist: “Nice little town — so old and quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?” Colorado Resident: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.” (Labor Day Jokes & Travel Blogs)
  37. No, really. I’ve been holding my breath for someone in Colorado to use their turn signal… I haven’t breathed since 2005. (Car Jokes)
  38. Tourist: “Lived in this town all your life?” Colorado Resident: “No, not yet.”
  39. Divorced couples in Colorado are having trouble deciding who gets the Marijuana… The judges have started issuing joint custody. (Divorce Jokes)
  40. Upon hearing that my donor is in Eugene, I proceeded to inform my wife that, “My heart is in Oregon.” She replied, “I know what a heart is!”
  41. What do you call the 2014 event between two cities that legalized marijuana?… The Super Bowl.
  42. Yes, marijuana is legal in Colorado… now leaf the jokes alone.
  43. Colorado: America hates us because America ain’t us.
  44. How do you get a man in Colorado to do sit-ups?… Put the remote control between his toes.
  45. Nightmares in other states are just visions of what’s really going on in Colorado.
  46. Colorado: We’re not sure who is dumber – the politicians or the voters. (Election Jokes)
  47. The only difference between Florida and an oven is that an oven doesn’t produce serial killers.
  48. I went to Florida yesterday and a cop asked me if I have a criminal record… I said “No, is that still required?”
  49. What does the average Florida State University student get on his SAT?… Drool.
  50. I’m absolutely disgusted with the state my life is in right now Florida. I live in Florida
  51. A guy goes into a bar and asks the bartender if he wants to hear a good Alabama joke. The bartender says, “Before you tell it, you should know that I am 6-2 and weigh 225 and I’m from Alabama. See that guy at the end of the bar? He’s 6-4 and weighs 250 and he’s from Alabama, too. And see the guy at the other end of the bar? He’s 6-6 and weighs 280 and he’s from Alabama,too! Now, do you still want to tell your Alabama joke?” The guy says, “Nah.” To which the bartender smiles and says, “What’s the matter? Are ya chicken?” The guy says, “Nah. I just don’t want to have to explain it three times.”
  52. An Alabaman came home and found his house on fire, rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, “Hurry on over here. My house is on fire!” “OK,” replied the fireman, “how do we get there?” “Say, don’t you still have them big red trucks?”
  53. A tourist was walking around a Denver suburb and asked the shop owner, “What is the name of this town?” “Boulder,” he told me. So I stuck out my chest and shouted, “WHAT IS THE NAME OF THIS TOWN?!”
  54. State has TWO capitals. Can you name them?… “N” and “D”
  55. Whats the difference between Alabama and cheerios?… Nothing. They both belong in a bowl.
  56. What did Lake say to the shore?… Nothing, it waved. (15 Best Lakes in South Carolina)
  57. What is the tallest building in?… Public Library of course, it has the most stories! (Library Jokes)
  58. What goes hundreds of miles and never moves?… The Turnpike!
  59. Where do a fish keep their money?… In the riverbanks of the . (Ten Longest Rivers in North Dakota)
  60. What has a mouth but can’t eat?… The River!
  61. What runs but never goes out of breath?… The River! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  62. If a plane crashed on the borders of where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  63. Teacher: Where were you born? Student: North Dakota. Teacher: Which part? Student: What do you mean, ‘which part’? My whole body was born in ! (Teacher Jokes)
  64. Did you hear the joke about Mountain?… You won’t get over it. (Hiking Jokes)
  65. Montana, where the elevation is usually a bigger number than the town’s population. (Hiking Jokes)
  66. A couple in Montana had a baby… Now their population is 17! (Baby Jokes)
  67. A cowboy and his blind horse: A man is casually crossing the Montana plains when his horse died all of the sudden. The nearest town was three days walk. So, he started to walk. 3 days later he ends up in this quiet ‘ol town but nobody had a horse for sale. So he commenced to walking to the closest town which was a two days journey. Unfortunately, nobody in that town had a horse for sale, however, he did come across this stable where the fellow runnin’ it mentioned his brother in a nearby Town had a horse for sale. He commenced to walk to this next town and 2 DAYS LATER found the guy’s brother. “I talked to your brother two days walk from here and he says you might have a horse to sell me.” “Yes I do have a horse for sale,” He replied, “But he don’t look so good.” “I don’t care. I’ll take him anyways. I’ve been walking for damn near a week now. I’m tired and I need a horse.” So he gets on the horse and the horse takes off and bumps into a tree and stops. “Heyyy, something’s wrong with this horse. I think he’s blind. YOU SOLD ME A BLIND HORSE MISTER!” “I told you Sir, THE HORSE DON’T LOOK SO GOOD!”
  68. Tourist: “Lived in this town all your life?” Resident: “No, not yet.”
  69. Tourist: “Nice little town — so old and quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?” Resident: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.” (Labor Day Jokes & Travel Blogs)
  70. Where do [state] elementary school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Elementary School Jokes)
  71. Where do [state] middle school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Middle School Jokes)
  72. Where do [state] high school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (High School Jokes)
  73. Why did the [state] teacher jump into the pool?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  74. Why did the [state] teacher jump into the lake?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  75. Why did the [state] teacher jump into the ocean?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Ocean Jokes)
  76. Why did the [state] teacher jump into the river?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  77. What did [state] see?… the same thing Arkansas.
  78. What did the California flag say to the American flag?… Nothing. It waved!
  79. Hawaii is hosting a party for all the states. Hawaii says, “be there or be square!” Unfortunately, Colorado and Wyoming didn’t attend. (Wyoming Jokes & Colorado Jokes)

  1. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe spell? 
  2. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the colleges and universities? (Top U.S. Colleges)
  3. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the professional sports teams? 
  4. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the capital of ? (State Capitals)
  5. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the most populated city in ?  
  6. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the least populated city in ?  
  7. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the most highest mountain in ? (Hiking Jokes)  
  8. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the most longest river in ?  
  9. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the two senators from ? 
  10. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the governor of ?
  11. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the representatives from ?  
  12. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe visit ?  
  13. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe give me the name of a great restaurant ?   
  14. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the cost of living ?  
  15. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me some good lakes in? 
  16. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe take me to a game?
  17. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe
  18. take me to a game?  
  19. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the least populated city in ?  
  20. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the most tallest mountain in ?   
  21. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the most longest river in ?  
  22. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe you tell me the cost of ? (Top U.S. Colleges)
  23. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the mascot? (College Mascots)