Google Search “Divorce Jokes”
- What did the nut tree say when his wife left him?… I walnut stand for this. (Tree Jokes)
- Why didn’t any of Luke Skywalker’s marriages last?… He always followed Obi-Wan’s advice: “Use divorce, Luke.” (Marriage Jokes & Divorce Jokes)
- Why did one melon divorce the other melon?… He didn’t know water problem was. (Watermelon Jokes)
- Why is America happy on July 4th?… Because it got a divorce from Britain.
- Why is Obi-wan Kenobi a terrible marriage counselor?… The only advice he gives is Use di- vorce. (Divorce Jokes & Marriage Jokes)
- My wife says she’s leaving me because of my obsession with Star Wars. I said, “Please don’t go, honey. You’re the Obi-Wan for me.” (Star Wars Jokes)
- What does Obi-Wan think about Padme and Anakin’s relationship?… Di-vorce is strong with these two.
- Divorced couples in Colorado are having trouble deciding who gets the Marijuana… The judges have started issuing joint custody. (Colorado Jokes)
- An Irish dad calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says, “I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing.” “Dad, what are you talking about?” the son screams. “We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the father says. “We’re sick of each other and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her.” The son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like heck they’re getting divorced!” she shouts, “I’ll take care of this!” She calls Ireland immediately, and screams at her father, “You are NOT getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up. The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Sorted! They’re coming for Christmas – and they’re paying their own way” (Marriage Jokes / Christmas Jokes / Divorce Jokes)
- What did Avogadro give his ex-wife every month?… Alimoley. (Divorce Jokes & Marriage Jokes)