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Google Search “World’s Best Christmas Jokes”

  1. Top 10 Christmas Jokes: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?… So he can ho-ho-ho!
  2. What would you get if you crossed Christmas with St. Patrick’s Day? …. St. O’Claus! (Christmas Jokes & Christmas Trivia)
  3. An Irish dad calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says, “I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing.” “Dad, what are you talking about?” the son screams. “We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the father says. “We’re sick of each other and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her.” The son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like heck they’re getting divorced!” she shouts, “I’ll take care of this!” She calls Ireland immediately, and screams at her father, “You are NOT getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up. The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Sorted! They’re coming for Christmas – and they’re paying their own way” (Marriage Jokes / Christmas Jokes / Divorce Jokes)
  4. Top 10 Reindeer JokesWhat did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky?… “Looks like rain, dear.” (Reindeer Jokes & Rain Jokes)
  5. Top 10 Grinch Jokes: What is the Grinch’s least favorite band?… The Who. (Music Jokes)
  6. Top 10 Christmas Tree JokesWhat month do Christmas trees hate most?… Sep-timber! (September Jokes)
  7. Top 10 Santa Jokes: How much did Santa’s sleigh cost?… Nothing, it was on the house. (Reindeer Jokes)
  8. Top 10 Elf Jokes: What kind of music does elves like best?…”Wrap” music! (Music Jokes & Elf Jokes)
  9. Top 10 Christmas Knock Knock JokesKnock, knock!… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah who?… Noah good Christmas joke?
  10. Top 10 Frosty the Snowman JokesWhat do Professor Hinkle and a hockey player have in common… They both love hat tricks! (Hockey Jokes)
  11. Top 10 Christmas Wreath Jokes: So for Christmas, I decided to hang a decoration that shows both my love for music and for our Founding Fathers… It’s a wreath of Franklin. (Music Jokes & American Revolution Jokes)
  12. Top 10 Christmas Eve Jokes: What comes before Christmas Eve?… Christmas Adam. (Christmas Eve Jokes)
  13. Why couldn’t the Grinch steal Christmas?… Because of the Santa clause. (Grinch Jokes)
  14. I wasn’t going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I’m going home for the hollandaise. (Egg Jokes & World’s Best Christmas Jokes)
  15. Who is a Christmas tree’s favorite singer?… Spruce Springsteen. (Christmas Tree Jokes & Music Jokes)
  16. Why did the middle school student’s grades drop after Christmas?… Because everything was marked down.
  17. Where would you find a Christmas tree?… Between a Christmas two and a Christmas four! (Math Jokes for Kids)
  18. What do call a middle school student afraid of Santa Claus?….Claustrophobic. (Middle School Jokes)
  19. What do you say to Santa when he’s taking attendance at school?… Present. (Christmas Jokes for Teachers)
  20. Why didn’t Rudolph get a good report card?… Because he went down in History. (Reindeer Jokes)
  21. What is a Christmas tree’s favorite candy?… Ornamints. (Candy Jokes & Christmas Jokes)
  22. There’s a Friday the 13th this December… A nightmare before Christmas some may say. (Friday the 13th Jokes)
  23. So last year I started a tradition, I carry a pebble and throw it at anyone who sings Christmas songs before December…. I call it my Jingle Bell Rock. (Music Jokes & December Jokes)
  24. What do you call the chocolate bars the Grinch stole?… Hot chocolate. (Chocolate Jokes & Candy Jokes)
  25. What does the Grinch eat for dessert?… Heist cream! (Ice Cream Jokes)
  26. What did one Christmas tree decoration say to the other?… Let’s hang out! (Christmas Jokes)
  27. What does the Grinch see with?… Burglarize! (Police Jokes)
  28. How fast did the Grinch’s sled go?… Max speed. (Dr. Seuss Jokes)
  29. What’s the Grinch’s favorite board game?…  Mean-opoly! 
  30. Why was the Grinch afraid of Santa Claus?… He was Claustrophobic. (Psychology Jokes)
  31. What do you get when you eat Christmas ornaments?…  Tinsel-itis! (Doctor Jokes)
  32. What is a basketball player’s favorite Christmas song?… “Oh Christmas Three, Oh Christmas Three!” (Christmas Tree Jokes & Music Jokes)
  33. How fast did the Grinch’s sled go?… Max speed. (Dr. Seuss Jokes)
  34. What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?… “Aren’t you tired of hanging around?” (Christmas Tree Jokes)
  35. Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?… It needed to be trimmed. (Barber Jokes & Christmas Tree Jokes)
  36. Why are Christmas trees such bad knitters?… They are always dropping their needles. (Christmas Tree Jokes)