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- Octopus: [holding a gun in each hand] Cat: you’re one short pal. (Octopus Jokes)
- Where did the school kittens go for their field trip?… To the mewseum. (Field Trip Jokes for Kids)
- Son to mother after 1st day of school. “Nothing exciting happened except the teacher didn’t know how to spell cat, so I told her.” (Back to School Jokes & Grammar Jokes)
- What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?… A CAT-HAS-TROPHY! (Dog Jokes)
- Why was the cat afraid of the tree?… Because of its bark! (Dog Jokes & Cat Jokes)
- What is the cat’s favorite TV show?… The evening mews!
- What cat said, “The British are coming! The British are coming!”?… Paw Revere. (American Revolution Jokes)
- What is smarter than a talking cat?… A spelling bee! (Bee Jokes / 26 Lessons for the Letter of the Week A- Z)
- Where does the Cat in the Hat go when he’s sick?… To Dr. Seuss. (Dr. Seuss Jokes)
- What do you call a cat on Christmas Eve?… Sandy Claws. (Christmas Eve Jokes & Cat Jokes)
- What is the difference between a comma and the Cat in the Hat?… One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause. (Dr. Seuss Jokes)
- What does a cat like to eat on his birthday?… Mice cream and cake! (Birthday Jokes for Kids & Ice Cream Jokes)
- What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate?… A Kitty Kat bar! (Candy Jokes)
- What happens when it rains cats and dogs?… You have to been careful not to step in a poodle. (Rain Jokes & Dog Jokes)
- What do you call a cat on a summer camp field trip to the beach?…. Sandy claws. (Summer Camp Jokes for Kids / Christmas Jokes / Cat Jokes)
- What is a cat’s favorite color?… Purrrple!
- What does a cat call a hummingbird?… Fast food. (Fast Food Jokes & Bird Jokes)
- What do you call a cat in a station wagon?… A car-pet!
- What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon?…. sour-puss (Halloween Jokes)
- What do you call a cat that gets anything it wants?… Purrr-suasive.
- Do you want to hear a bad cat joke?’.. Just kitten.
- What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?… Sandy Claws! (Top Holiday Jokes / Top Winter Jokes / Christmas Trivia)
- Why don’t cats like online Christmas shopping?… They prefer a cat-alogue. (Top Holiday Jokes / Top Winter Jokes/ Christmas Trivia)
- Who did cats vote for in November 2106?… Hillary Kitten. (Top Presidential Jokes)
- There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?… None, because they were copycats!
- Who is the leader of the Kitty Communist Party?… Chairman Meow.
- What do you call the cat that was caught by the police?… the purrpatrator.
- What did the alien say to the cat?… Take me to your litter. (Top Astronomy Jokes)
- What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?… Kitty Perry! (Horse Jokes)
- What do call a cat in a blanket?… A purrrrito!
- What is lion’s favorite food?… Baked beings! (Lion Jokes)
- Why did the cat put the letter “M” into the fridge?… Because it turns “ice” into “mice!” (Top Winter Jokes)
- What happened when the lion ate the comedian?… He felt funny! (Lion Jokes)
- What do you get if you cross a leopard with a watchdog?… A terrified postman! (Dog Jokes and Mailman Jokes)
- What do you call a flying cat?… I’m-paws-sible. (Pilot Jokes)
- What did the cat say when he lost all his money?… I’m paw!
- Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of yarn?… She had a litter of mittens. (Winter Jokes)
- What do you call a lion who has eaten your mother’s sister?… An aunt-eater! (Lion Jokes)
- Why shouldn’t you kidnap the kitten?… Because curiousity killed the cat burglar.
- What do tigers wear in bed?… Stripey pyjamas! (Napping Jokes)
- Why did the cat wear a dress?… She was feline fine.
- Why was the cat sitting on the computer?… To keep an eye on the mouse! (Computer Jokes)
- What did the cat say when he lost his Christmas toys?… You got to be kitten me. (Top Holiday Jokes / Top Winter Jokes / Christmas Trivia)
- What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo?… A stripey jumper!
- What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar?… A sourpuss!
- How are tigers like sergeants in the army?… They both wear stripes! (Veterans Day Jokes)
- What does the Cat in the Hat read in the morning?… The mewspaper. (Dr. Seuss Jokes)
- How does the Cat in the Hat sing scales?… Do-ri-me-ow. (Dr. Seuss Jokes & Music Jokes)
- What do you get if you cross a tiger with a sheep?… A stripey sweater! (Sheep Jokes)
- Why is the desert lion everyone’s favorite at Christmas?… Because he has sandy claws! (Top Holiday Jokes / Top Winter Jokes / Christmas Trivia)
- How does a lion greet the other animals in the field?… ‘Pleased to eat you.’! (Lion Jokes)
- What do you get if you cross a tiger with a snowman?… Frostbite! (Top Holiday Jokes / Top Winter Jokes / Christmas Trivia)
- What is a French cat’s favorite pudding?… Chocolate mousse!
- What looks like half a cat?… The other half!
- What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater?… ‘Claws.’ (Top Summer Jokes & Lion Jokes)
- If a four-legged animal is a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped, What’s a tiger?… A stri-ped!
- What do you call a cat that wears make up?… Glamourpuss.
- What do cats like to read?… Cat-alogues!
- What kind of sports car does a cat drive?… A Furrari. (Sports Joke of the Day) (Car Jokes)
- What do you call a cat who just ate a duck?… a duck-filled platy puss. (Duck Jokes)
- What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt?… ‘Don’t go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.’
- What’s striped and bouncy?… A tiger on a pogo stick!
- What is a cat’s favorite dance move?… The Purr-colator. (Coffee Day Jokes)
- Why was the cat scared of the tree?… Because of its bark. (Top Arbor Day Jokes)
- What do you feed an invisible cat?… Evaporated milk.
- What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?… Hailing taxi cabs! (Dog Jokes)
- How is cat food sold?… Usually purr can!
- What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head?… A tiger moth!
- What does the lion say to his friends before they go out hunting for food?… ‘Let us prey.’ (Lion Jokes)
- What’s the unluckiest kind of cat to have?… A catastrophe!
- Who was the most powerful cat in China?… Chairman Miaow! (World Geography Jokes)
- What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree?… A cat-a-logue! (Top Arbor Day Jokes) Tree Jokes)
- What do you call a cat race?… A meowathon. (Sports Joke of the Day)
- Why did the cat get pulled over by the police?… Because it “littered.” (Police Jokes)
- What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim?… An octopuss! (Octopus Jokes)
- Why did the cat join the Red Cross?… Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit!
- When the cat’s away?… The house smells better!
- What is a cats favorite vegetable?… As-purr-agus.
- Did you know that cats designed the great pyramids of Giza?… It was all drawn out on paw-pyrus. (World Geography)
- What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?… A Cat has nine lives but a Frog croaks every night! (Frog Jokes)
- Did you hear about the passenger who had to be escorted off the airplane?… She let the cat out of the bag. (Pilot Jokes)
- Why are cats so good at video games?… Because they have nine lives!
- What’s a cat’s favorite button on the tv remote?… Paws.
- Did you hear about the cat that thought she was a dog?… She was purr-plexed. (Dog Jokes)
- What do cats like to eat on sunny days?… Mice cream cones! (Ice Cream Jokes)
- What do you call a cat that doesn’t use the litter box?… A pet project.
- What do you get if you cross a cat with Father Christmas?… Santa Claws! (Christmas Jokes)
- What kind of car does a fat cat drive?… a Catillac! (car Jokes)
- Why was the cat so small?… Because it only ate condensed milk! (Milk Jokes)
- What do you call Long John Silver when he has a cat on his shoulder?… A purr-ate! (Pirate Jokes)
- What do you call a cat that smells good?… prrrr-fume.
- Did you hear about the cat who wanted to learn how to bark?… Curiousity killed the cat.
- What is a cats favorite kitchen tool?… The “whisker”
- What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo?… An eskimew!
- What is a cats favorite book?… The prince and the paw-purr.
- What did the cat say to the dog?… Check meow-t!
- What do you call a cat on ice?… One cool cat.
- What is a cats favorite musical instrument?… Purr-cussion.
- What do you call a cat that can address the media?… a Press Kit.
- What do cats wear at night?… paw-jamas!
- What time is it when ten cats chase a mouse?… Ten After One.
- What do you call a cat that does tricks?… A magic kit.
- What do you call a painting of a cat?… A paw-trait
- What do you call a cat when it is huge?… A MEOW-SIVE CAT
- What do you call a cat that can put together furniture from Ikea?… an Assembly kit.
- Why did the cat go to the river?… Claws it wanted to.
- What’s the first thing you say to a cat?… HELLO KITTY!
- What do you need to get a fast cat to use the litter box?… Quicksand.
- What was the special offer at the pet store this week?… Buy 1 Cat get 1 Flea!
- What does a cat say when somebody steps on its tail?… Me-ow!
- How do you make cats furry?… The spin cycle.
- Did you hear about the cat that climbed the Himilayas?… She was a sher-paw.
- Why did the cat cross the road?… It was the chicken’s day off!
- Where does a cat go when he looses his tail?… The retail store!
- What do you call a cat that can rough the great outdoors?… A survival kit.
- What do you call a pile of kittens?… a meowntain
- When is a lion not a lion?… When he turns into his cage!
- What does Christmas have to do with a cat lost in the desert?… They both have sandy claws.
- How does the Cat in the Hat get what he wants?… With purr-suasion. (Dr. Seuss Jokes)
- What job did the Cat in the Hat have at the circus?… Acrocat. (Circus Jokes)