Cat Jokes for Kids

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Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best cat jokes.
Octopus: [holding a gun in each hand] Cat: You’re one short pal. (Octopus Jokes)
Where do cats go for their prom?… The fur ball. (Prom Jokes)
What do you call a feline with a short haircut?… A Bob Cat. (Barber Jokes)
Optimists: The glass is half full. Pessimists: The glass is half empty. Cat owners: The glass is knocked over.
A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along when suddenly a cat attacks them. The mother mouse shouts “BARK!” and the cat runs away. “See?” the mother mouse says to her baby. “Now do you see why it’s important to learn a foreign language?” (Funny Animal Jokes for Kids & Mother’s Day Jokes)
What was the special offer at the pet store this week?… Buy 1 Cat get 1 Flea! (Black Friday Jokes)
What do you call a fluffy male cat asleep on a bed?… Himalayan. (Napping Jokes)
What does a cat do when he gets mad?… He has a hissy fit.
I had to get rid of my significant other… He was allergic to my cat.
I saw a poster today that asked, “Have you seen my cat?” So, I called the number and said that I didn’t… I like to help where I can.
I saw a neighbor talking to her cat today, it was hilarious that she thought her cat could understand her… I went home and told my dog. (Dog Jokes)
What do you get when you cross an angry cat with a famous painter?… Clawed Monet! (Art Jokes)
How do you make a cat happy?… Send it to the Canary Islands! (Bird Jokes)
Where do cats write down their notes?… On scratch paper!
What’s a cat’s favorite game?… Mouse Trap.
What do you call a very poor cat?… A “paw-purr.”
Who delivers presents to cats?… Santa Claws!
Have you ever seen a catfish?… No. How do they hold the rod and reel?
How do French cats say “Thank You”?… Meow-ci Beaucoup. (Bastille Day Jokes)
McGonagall is a good teacher, but… she has a tendency to be catty. (Harry Potter Jokes & Jokes for Teachers)
Why did the cat refuse to acknowledge leap year?… It didn’t want to admit it had nine lives for four more years! (Leap Year Jokes)
My cat hates tacos… she prefers to eat purr-itos. (Taco Jokes & Cinco De Mayo Jokes)
What should you avoid on Friday the 13th?… Ladders, black cats and ridiculous superstitions. (Friday the 13th Jokes)
What was the kitten bowling league called?… Alley Cats. (Bowling Jokes)
What is the name of the cat who said, “The British are coming! The British are coming!”?… Paw Revere. (American Revolution Jokes)
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?… Hailing taxis.
What do black cats like to have for breakfast on Friday the 13th?… Mice crispies. (Cereal Jokes & Cat Jokes)
I have a pencil once owned by Shakespeare… Thanks to the cat it’s so chewed up I can’t tell if it’s 2B or not 2B.
What is the difference between a black cat and a frog?… They say a black cat has nine lives, and the frog croaks every night. (Cat Jokes & Frog Jokes)
Did you hear about the cat that climbed the Himalayas?… She was a sher-paw.
A book never written: “A Guide to Better Cat Care” by Claude Badly.
Lobster Pun: The lobster asked its friend the catfish, “Who is your cod-father?”
Why did the cat get divorced?… He was a cheetah. (Divorce Jokes)
During a heat wave, what do cats eat?… A mice-cream cone! (Cat Jokes & Ice Cream Jokes)
Why are kittens actually excellent bosses?… They have great littership.
The witches’ black cat fell off the broom while flying… it was cat-astrophic. (Witch Jokes)
What Dr. Seuss baseball book was never published?… “The Cat at Bat!” (101 Baseball Jokes & Book Jokes)
Did you hear about the cat who drank five bowls of water?… He set a new lap record.
Why do cats make terrible storytellers?… They only have one tail.
What is the cat’s favorite show on TV?… The evening mews. (Cat Jokes)
The cops arrested a black cat on Friday the 13th… they said she was a purr-patrator. (Friday the 13th Jokes)
When is it considered unlucky to see a black cat?… When you are a mouse.
Where does the Cat in the Hat go when he’s sick?… To Dr. Seuss. (Dr. Seuss Jokes & Doctor Jokes)
How do two cats end a fight?… They hiss and make up!
What kind of musician is a cat ?… A purr-cussionist. (Music Jokes)
How many cats can you put into an empty box?… Only one. After that, the box isn’t empty.
What does a cat read with coffee in the morning?… The mewspaper. (Cat Jokes)
Why was the cat disqualified from the game?… It was a cheetah.
What do you call a kitten drinking lemonade?… A “sourpuss.”
What does the cat say after making a joke?… “Just kitten!”
What does a cat wear when he sleeps?… paw-jamas! (Cat Jokes & Napping Jokes)
What do you call a cat that gives up?… A “quitty.”
My cat told a joke today but I didn’t laugh… He took it purr-sondal.
What do you call the cat that was caught by the police?… The purr-petrator. (Police Jokes)
What is the difference between a comma and the Cat in the Hat?… One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause. (Grammar Jokes & Cat Jokes)
Why did the cat put the letter “M” into the freezer?… To turn “ice” into “mice” (Cat Jokes & Ice Cream Jokes)
What does a cat use to make his coffee?… A purr-colator. (Cat Jokes & Coffee Jokes)
Have scientists determined why cats can catch COVID?… It’s still a meow-stery.
How are pumpkins like cats?… They’re often waiting on the porch for you when you get home. (Pumpkin Jokes)
Why was the black cat having a concert on Friday the 13th?… Because she was very meow-sical. (Friday the 13th Jokes)
Why is a cat so good at video games?… Because he starts with nine lives!
If lights run on electricity and buses run on gas, what does a cat run on?… His paws. (Bus Jokes & Track and Field Jokes)
What’s black and white and read all over?… The Cat in the Hat. (Dr. Seuss Jokes & Book Jokes)
What is the cat ‘s favorite cereal?… Mice Krispies. (Cereal Jokes)
Why was the cat afraid of the tree?… Because of its bark. (Dog Jokes & Cat Jokes)
What is the Cat in the Hat’s favorite school subject?… HISStory. (Dr. Seuss Jokes & Social Studies Jokes)
What do you call a cat that can address the media?… a Press Kit.
What normally happens when kitties go on a first date?… They hiss.
The black cat wore her favorite dress for the costume party on Friday 13th… She wore a purrr-ple gown. (Friday the 13th Jokes)
What is a cat’s favorite birthday party game?… Mews-ical chairs. (Birthday Jokes)
Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Kitten…Kitten, who?… Quit kitten around and open the door!
What do you get when you cross a tabby cat with a lemon tree?… A sour puss. (Tree Jokes)
I had to divorce my husband… He was allergic to my cat. (Divorce Jokes)
At the Friday the 13th dance party, the black cat saw her rival fish and said, “I have a bone to pick with you.” (Fishing Jokes & Friday the 13th Jokes)
What grade did the cat do on his math test?… A Purrrr-fect score! (Math Jokes for Kids & Dr. Seuss Jokes)
While trying a new magic spell, the witch crossed a black cat and an oak tree… The result was a black and white cat-a-log’ue. (Cat Jokes / Witch Jokes / Tree Jokes / Magic Jokes)
To break the stigma surrounding black cats being a bad omen, the cat joined the red cross society and became a first aid kit-ten and started helping mankind. (Psychology Jokes)
What is the difference between a comma and a cat?… One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause. (Grammar Jokes)
Why did the cat want to be friends with the fish?… He thought it was a cat fish. (Cat Jokes & Fish Jokes)
What do you call a pile of kittens?… A meowntain
What is a black cat’s favorite game?… Hide and shriek!
What do you need to get a fast cat to use the litter box?… Quicksand.
What should you use to comb a cat?… A catacomb!
What happens when it rains cats and dogs?… You have to been careful not to step in a poodle. (Rain Jokes & Dog Jokes)
I had to divorce my wife… she was allergic to my cat. (Divorce Jokes)
What did the cat say when the mouse got away?… You’ve got to be kitten me!
What does a cat have that no other animal has?… Kittens.
Where do cats always fly out of when they travel?… Kitty Hawk!
What’s a cat’s favorite dessert?… Chocolate mouse!
What did the grandma cat say to her grandson when she saw him slouching?… You need to pay more attention to your pawsture.
Do you want to hear a bad cat joke?… Just kitten!
What types of cats purr the best?… Purrr-sians!
What sports do cats play?… Hairball!
What’s another name for a cat’s house?… A scratch pad!
What should you say to your cat when you leave the house?… “Have a mice day!”
How do cats stop crimes?… They call claw enforcement!
What state has a lot of cats and dogs?… Petsylvania!
In what kind of weather is a vet the busiest?… When it’s raining cats and dogs!
What’s a cat’s favorite magazine?… Good Mousekeeping!
What do baby cats always wear?… Diapurrs!
Why did the cats ask for a drum set?… They wanted to make some mewsic! (365 Music Jokes)
What’s a cat’s favorite TV show?… Claw and Order.
Why is it hard to trust cats?… They have many tall tails.
How did the mom cat know she was pregnant?… Her test was pawsitive.
How did the cat know he had Covid?… Her test was pawsitive.
What animals can you not trust?… Big cats! Because some are cheetahs, and some are always lion!
What do polite cats say when they’re in the way?… Paw-don me! I’m furry sorry.
Why are kittens actually excellent bosses?… They have great littership.
Patient: Crying One minute he loves me and the next he wants nothing to do me! Therapist: That’s pretty typical cat behaviour
I dressed my dog up as a cat for Halloween. Now he won’t come when I call him. Reid Faylor
Why was the black cat feeling grouchy on the 13th of Friday?… She was in a very bad meowd.
What did the black cat say to the construction worker on Friday The 13th?… It’s fine if you avoid stepping under that ladder. I plan on crossing your path in a minute. (Friday the 13th Jokes)
How was the black cat feeling on Friday the 13th?… Purr-fectly happy. (Friday the 13th Jokes)
On Friday the 13th, the black cat did all her laundry and hung them on a fe-line to dry. (Cat Jokes)
Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about cats?
What does a cat fill his pancakes with?… Mice cream! (Cat Jokes & Ice Cream Jokes)
I wrapped my cat in a blanket… Now she’s a purrito.
What do you call a painting of a cat?… A paw-trait.
For a man to truly understand rejection… he must first be ignored by a cat.
What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate?… A Kitty Kat bar! (Candy Jokes)
What is a cat’s favorite brand of sneaker?… Mew Balance. (Track and Field Jokes)
What is the title of the autobiography of the cat … Hiss and Tell. (Book Jokes)
What is the a cat’s favorite cereal?… Mice Krispies. (Cereal Jokes)
What is a the cat’s favorite brand of car?… The Catillac. (Car Jokes)
What color does a cat like the most?… Purrr-ple.
What is the Cat in the Hat’s favorite song?… Three Blind Mice! ((Music Jokes & Cat Jokes)
What is the Cat in the Hat ‘s favorite cereal?… Mice Krispies. (Cereal Jokes)
What color does the Cat in the Hat like the most?… Purrr-ple.
Why did the Cat in the Hat put the letter “M” into the freezer?… To turn “ice” into “mice” (Cat Jokes & Ice Cream Jokes)
Why are cats better than babies?… Because you only have to change a litter box once a day.
What is smarter than a talking cat?… A spelling bee! (Bee Jokes / 26 Lessons for the Letter of the Week A- Z)
What do you call a cat on ice?… One cool cat.
What do you call a cat in a station wagon?… A car-pet! (Car Jokes)
What is a cats favorite musical instrument?… Purr-cussion. (365 Music Jokes)
Why is the Cat in the Hat such a good piano player?… Because they’re very mewsical. (Cat Jokes & Music Jokes)
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo?… An eskimew!
What is a cat’s favorite book?… The prince and the paw-purr. (Book Jokes)
What’s the first thing you say to a cat?… HELLO KITTY!
What do you call the cat when he’s walking on snow?… A cool cat. (Cat Jokes & Winter Jokes)
Which vegetable does a cat like the most?… As-purr-agus. (Farming Jokes)
What does a cat call a hummingbird?… Fast food. (Fast Food Jokes & Bird Jokes)
Why is a cat such a good piano player?… Because they’re very mewsical. (Cat Jokes & Music Jokes)
What is a cat’s favorite song?… Three Blind Mice! ((Music Jokes & Cat Jokes)
Why was the cat so crabby?… He was in a bad mewd.
What did the cats do when they realized they had a bad plan?… They decided to (cat)nip it in the bud.
Why did the cat run away from the tree?… It was afraid of the bark! (Cat Jokes & Tree Jokes)
What do you call when he wears winter shoes?… Puss in boots. (Cat Jokes & Winter Jokes)
What is the Cat in the Hat’s favorite musical?… The Sound of Mewsic. (Cat Jokes & Music Jokes)
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good cat knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
What kind of yard work does a cat like the most?… Meowing the lawn. (Summer Jokes)
What grade did the cat in the Hat get on his English test?… A Purrrr-fect score! (Math Jokes for Kids & Dr. Seuss Jokes)
What cat said, “The British are coming! The British are coming!”?… Paw Revere. (American Revolution Jokes)
What grade did the cat in the Hat get on his science test?… A Purrrr-fect score! (Math Jokes for Kids & Dr. Seuss Jokes)
Why did the cat want to be friends with the fish?… He thought it was a cat fish. (Cat Jokes & Fish Jokes)
What grade did the cat in the Hat get on his physics test?… A Purrrr-fect score! (Math Jokes for Kids & Dr. Seuss Jokes)
What do you get if you cross a cat with Father Christmas?… Santa Claws! (Christmas Jokes)
What grade did the cat in the Hat get on his French test?… A Purrrr-fect score! (Math Jokes for Kids & Dr. Seuss Jokes)
What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?… A Cat has nine lives but a Frog croaks every night! (Frog Jokes)
What is the cat’s favorite school subject?… HISStory. (Dr. Seuss Jokes & Social Studies Jokes)
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good cat knock-knock joke?
If lights run on electricity and buses run on gas, what does the cat run on?… His paws.
Why was the cat so small?… Because it only ate condensed milk! (Milk Jokes)
Did you hear about the cat that thought she was a dog?… She was purr-plexed. (Dog Jokes)
What does the Cat in the Hat use to keep his grass trimmed?… A lawn meower. (Cat Jokes & Dr. Seuss Jokes)
Why do so many people love the Cat in the Hat?… They think he’s purrrr-fect. (Dr. Seuss Jokes)
Why doesn’t the Cat in the Hat know about this?… Because he only knows a lot about that! (Dr. Seuss Jokes)
What did one cat say to the other cat on Valentine’s Day?… Don’t ever change, you’re purrrfect. (Funny Valentine’s Day Jokes)
What do you call a cat that is a good lawyer?… Purrr-suasive. (Lawyer Jokes)
Why did the cat have to go to an accountant?… They got caught up in a purramid scheme.
Which cat discovered America?… Christofurry Columbus (Columbus Day Jokes & Thanksgiving Jokes)
What message is on candy hearts for cats?… “You’re purr-fect!” (Candy Jokes & Cat Jokes)
What did the girl cat say to the boy cat on Valentine’s Day?… You’re purrr-fect for me. (Funny Valentine’s Day Jokes)
When cats need to go to the airport, who do they call?… A tabby. (Plane Jokes)
What’s a cat’s favorite button on the tv remote?… Paws.
Octopus: [holding a gun in each hand] Cat: you’re one short pal. (Octopus Jokes)
Where did the school kittens go for their field trip?… To the mewseum. (Field Trip Jokes for Kids)
Son to mother after 1st day of school. “Nothing exciting happened except the teacher didn’t know how to spell cat, so I told her.” (Back to School Jokes & Grammar Jokes)
Why did the cat join the Red Cross?… Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit!
What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?… A CAT-HAS-TROPHY! (Dog Jokes)
Why was the cat afraid of the tree?… Because of its bark! (Dog Jokes & Cat Jokes)
What is the cat’s favorite TV show?… The evening mews!
Why are cats so good at video games?… Because they have nine lives!
What do cats look for in a spouse?… A great purrsonality. (Marriage Jokes)
What time is it when ten cats chase a mouse?… Ten After One.
Where does the Cat in the Hat go when he’s sick?… To Dr. Seuss. (Dr. Seuss Jokes)
What do you call a cat on Christmas Eve?… Sandy Claws. (Christmas Eve Jokes & Cat Jokes)
What is the difference between a comma and the Cat in the Hat?… One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause. (Dr. Seuss Jokes)
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday?… Mice cream and cake! (Birthday Jokes for Kids & Ice Cream Jokes)
Remember, you don’t OWN a cat… You know a cat.
Why don’t you want to play games with a cat?… They tend to be cheetahs.
Why did the cat wear a top hat?… Beclaws he was feline sassy. (Hat Jokes)
What do cats like to eat on sunny days?… Mice cream cones! (Ice Cream Jokes)
What do you call a cat that smells good?… prrrr-fume.
What title does a cat go by in the kitchen?… The Whisker.
Did you hear about the cat who wanted to learn how to bark?… Curiousity killed the cat. (Dog Jokes)
How is cat food sold?… Usually purr can!
What do you call a cat on a summer camp field trip to the beach?…. Sandy claws. (Summer Camp Jokes for Kids / Christmas Jokes / Cat Jokes)
What is a cat’s favorite color?… Purrrple!
Did you know that cats designed the great pyramids of Giza?… It was all drawn out on paw-pyrus. (World Geography Jokes)
What do you call a cat who became a doctor?… A first-aid kitten. (Doctor Jokes)
What do you call a cat who became a nurse?… A first-aid kitten. (Nurse Jokes)
What do you call a cat who became a EMT?… A first-aid kitten.
What do cats look for in a significant other?… A great purrsonality.
What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon?…. sour-puss (Halloween Jokes)
What do you call a cat that gets anything it wants?… Purrr-suasive.
Do you want to hear a bad cat joke?’.. Just kitten.
What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?… Sandy Claws! (Top Holiday Jokes / Top Winter Jokes / Christmas Trivia)
What did the mom cat say about her intuition?… “I just had a strong feline.”
Before a cat fight, what is usually said?… “Hold my purrse.”
Why did the cat get pulled over by the police?… Because it “littered.” (Police Jokes)
What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim?… An octopuss! (Octopus Jokes)
Why don’t cats like online Christmas shopping?… They prefer a cat-alogue. (Top Holiday Jokes / Top Winter Jokes/ Christmas Trivia)
What do you call a cat that can put together furniture from Ikea?… an Assembly kit.
Who did cats vote for in November 2106?… Hillary Kitten. (Top Presidential Jokes)
There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?… None, because they were copycats!
Octopus: [holding a knife in each hand] Cat: You’re one short pal. (Octopus Jokes)
Where do cats go for their prom?… The fur ball. (Prom Jokes)
Who is the leader of the Kitty Communist Party?… Chairman Meow. (World Geography Jokes)
What do you call a cat who became a doctor?… A first-aid kitten. (Do
What do you call the cat that was caught by the police?… the purrpatrator.
What did the alien say to the cat?… Take me to your litter. (Astronomy Jokes)
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?… Kitty Perry! (Horse Jokes)
What do call a cat in a blanket?… A purrrrito! (Burrito Jokes)
When a cat doesn’t want to say goodbye, what do they say instead?… “See ya litter!”
Why did the cat put the letter “M” into the fridge?… Because it turns “ice” into “mice!” (Top Winter Jokes)
What happened when the lion ate the comedian?… He felt funny! (Lion Jokes)
What do you get if you cross a leopard with a watchdog?… A terrified postman! (Dog Jokes and Mailman Jokes)
What do you call a flying cat?… I’m-paws-sible. (Pilot Jokes)
What did the cat say when he lost all his money?… I’m paw!
Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of yarn?… She had a litter of mittens. (Winter Jokes)
What do you call a lion who has eaten your mother’s sister?… An aunt-eater! (Lion Jokes)
Why shouldn’t you kidnap the kitten?… Because curiousity killed the cat burglar.
What do tigers wear in bed?… Stripey pyjamas! (Napping Jokes)
Why did the cat wear a dress?… She was feline fine.
Why was the cat sitting on the computer?… To keep an eye on the mouse! (Computer Jokes)
What did the cat say when he lost his Christmas toys?… You got to be kitten me. (Top Holiday Jokes / Top Winter Jokes / Christmas Trivia)
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo?… A stripey jumper!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar?… A sourpuss!
How are tigers like sergeants in the army?… They both wear stripes! (Veterans Day Jokes)
What does the Cat in the Hat read in the morning?… The mewspaper. (Dr. Seuss Jokes)
How does the Cat in the Hat sing scales?… Do-ri-me-ow. (Dr. Seuss Jokes & Music Jokes)
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a sheep?… A stripey sweater! (Sheep Jokes)
Why is the desert lion everyone’s favorite at Christmas?… Because he has sandy claws! (Top Holiday Jokes / Top Winter Jokes / Christmas Trivia)
How does a lion greet the other animals in the field?… ‘Pleased to eat you.’! (Lion Jokes)
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a snowman?… Frostbite! (Top Holiday Jokes / Top Winter Jokes / Christmas Trivia)
What is a French cat’s favorite pudding?… Chocolate mousse!
What looks like half a cat?… The other half!
What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater?… ‘Claws.’ (Top Summer Jokes & Lion Jokes)
If a four-legged animal is a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped, What’s a tiger?… A stri-ped!
What do you call a cat that wears make up?… Glamourpuss.
What do cats like to read?… Cat-alogues!
What kind of sports car does a cat drive?… A Furrari. (Sports Joke of the Day) (Car Jokes)
What do you call a cat who just ate a duck?… a duck-filled platy puss. (Duck Jokes)
What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt?… ‘Don’t go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.’
What’s striped and bouncy?… A tiger on a pogo stick!
What is a cat’s favorite dance move?… The Purr-colator. (Coffee Day Jokes)
Why was the cat scared of the tree?… Because of its bark. (Top Arbor Day Jokes)
What do you feed an invisible cat?… Evaporated milk.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?… Hailing taxi cabs! (Dog Jokes)
What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head?… A tiger moth!
What does the lion say to his friends before they go out hunting for food?… ‘Let us prey.’ (Lion Jokes)
What’s the unluckiest kind of cat to have?… A catastrophe!
Who was the most powerful cat in China?… Chairman Miaow! (World Geography Jokes)
What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree?… A cat-a-logue! (Top Arbor Day Jokes) Tree Jokes)
What do you call a cat race?… A meowathon. (Sports Joke of the Day)
When the cat’s away?… The house smells better!
Why did the kitty get an “A” on their English assignment?… They properly used an independent claws.
Before going after a mouse, what did the dad cat say to his family?… “Let us prey.”
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable?… As-purr-agus.
What do you call it when a cat is super-stylish?… Haute-cat-ture.
Did you hear about the passenger who had to be escorted off the airplane?… She let the cat out of the bag. (Pilot Jokes)
What do cats look for in a significant other? A great purrsonality. 28. What do you call a cat who became a doctor? A first-aid kitten. Related: 101 Riddles for Kids 29. What did the mom cat say about her intuition? “I just had a strong feline.” 30. Why was the teenage cat sent to his room? He was in a bad meowd.
What made the cat upgrade his phone?… He wanted to finally get pawtrait mode.
What do cats call a big pile of laundry? A meowtain to climb. 33. Why did the cat avoid eating lemons? They made him a sour-puss. 34. What song do kittens always request at dances? “Mice Mice Baby.” 35. Why are cats bad at making decisions? They become so purrplexed. 36. What’s a cat’s favorite sport? Hairball. Related: 101 Corny Jokes 37. Why do cats hate laptops? They don’t have a mouse. 38. How did one cat break up with another? She said, “We’re hisstory!” 39. Why don’t cats ever say “YOLO”? They have nine lives.
Which day of the week do cats love the most? Caturday.
Why do cats make horrible DJs?… They always paws the tunes.
What did the mom and dad cat say about their wedding day?… “It was unfurrgetable!”
What’s a kitten’s fave way to shop? By cat-alogue.
How did the cat comic know he was funny? The audience was meow-ling with laughter.
Why was the animal lover so untrustworthy? She kept letting the cat out of the bag!
What do cats call a nice dinner? A fancy feast.
What did the sick cat say? “I feel clawful!”
Why did some cat friends go to the mall? There was a buy-one-get-one-furry deal.
Where do cats enjoy spending a family day? The mew-seum.
What’s a kitten’s favorite kind of sticker? Scratch and sniff.
What did one cat say while her friend was complaining? “Tail me about it.”
What do you call a cat that doesn’t use the litter box?… A pet project.
What did the kitten have at their birthday party?… A pounce house.
What does a choir of cats like to sing?… “Do-Re-Mew.”
What kind of car does a fat cat drive?… a Catillac! (Car Jokes)
What do you call Long John Silver when he has a cat on his shoulder?… A purr-ate! (Pirate Jokes)
What is a cats favorite kitchen tool?… The “whisker”
What did the cat say to the dog?… Check meow-t!
What do cats wear at night?… paw-jamas!
What do you call a cat that does tricks?… A magic kit.
What do you call a cat when it is huge?… A MEOW-SIVE CAT
Why did the cat go to the river?… Claws it wanted to.
What does a cat say when somebody steps on its tail?… Me-ow!
Did you hear about the cat that climbed the Himilayas?… She was a sher-paw.
Why did the cat cross the road?… It was the chicken’s day off!
Where does a cat go when he looses his tail?… The retail store!
What do you call a cat that can rough the great outdoors?… A survival kit.
What do you call a pile of kittens?… a meowntain
What does Christmas have to do with a cat lost in the desert?… They both have sandy claws.
How does the cat get what he wants?… With purr-suasion. (Dr. Seuss Jokes)
What job did a cat have at the circus?… Acrocat. (Circus Jokes)
How do you make cats furry?… The spin cycle.
What’s a kitten’s favorite kind of sticker?… Scratch and sniff!
What’s a kitten’s favorite kind of book?… Scratch and sniff!
What is lion’s favorite food?… Baked beings! (Lion Jokes)
Why did the cat avoid eating lemons?… They made him a sour-puss.
Somewhere there is a house cat that did more than I did today. Kristeen von Hagen, comedian.
What did the man call his cat after Cinco de Mayo?… A Purrito. (Burrito Jokes)

What job did the Cat in the Hat have at the circus?… Acrocat. (Circus Jokes)What is the Cat in the Hat’s favorite song?… Three Blind Mice! ((Music Jokes & Cat Jokes)
What is the Cat in the Hat ‘s favorite cereal?… Mice Krispies. (Cereal Jokes)
What color does the Cat in the Hat like the most?… Purrr-ple.
Why did the Cat in the Hat put the letter “M” into the freezer?… To turn “ice” into “mice” (Cat Jokes & Ice Cream Jokes)
Why is the Cat in the Hat such a good piano player?… Because they’re very mewsical. (Cat Jokes & Music Jokes)
Which vegetable does the Cat in the Hat like the most?… As-purr-agus.
What does the Cat in the Hat wear when he sleeps?… paw-jamas! (Cat Jokes & Napping Jokes)
What does the Cat in the Hat wear when he sleeps?… paw-jamas! (Cat Jokes & Napping Jokes)
What do you call the Cat in the Hat when he wears winter shoes?… Puss in boots. (Cat Jokes & Winter Jokes)
Why was the Cat in the Hat so crabby?… He was in a bad mewd. (Cat Jokes)
Why did the Cat in the Hat run away from the tree?… It was afraid of the bark! (Cat Jokes & Tree Jokes)
What do you call the Cat in the Hat when he’s walking on snow?… A cool cat. (Cat Jokes & Winter Jokes)
Which side of the Cat in the Hat has the most fur?… The outside. (Dr. Seuss Jokes)
Where does a cat go when he’s sick?… To Dr. Seuss. (Doctor Jokes)
What is the Cat in the Hat’s favorite show on TV?… The evening mews. (Cat Jokes)
What does the Cat in the Hat use to make his coffee?… A purr-colator. (Cat Jokes & Coffee Jokes)
If lights run on electricity and buses run on gas, what does the Cat in the Hat run on?… His paws.
What is the Cat in the Hat’s favorite brand of sneaker?… Mew Balance. (Track and Field Jokes)
What is the difference between a comma and the Cat in the Hat?… One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause. (Grammar Jokes & Cat Jokes)
What kind of musician is the Cat in the Hat ?… A purr-cussionist. (Music Jokes & Cat Jokes)
What is a the Cat in the Hat’s favorite brand of car?… The Catillac. (Car Jokes)
Why is the Cat in the Hat so good at video games?… Because he starts with nine lives!
What is the Cat in the Hat’s favorite birthday party game?… Mews-ical chairs. (Birthday Jokes)
What is the Cat in the Hat’s favorite musical?… The Sound of Mewsic. (Cat Jokes & Music Jokes)
What color does the Cat in the Hat like the most?… Purrr-ple.
What is the Cat in the Hat’s favorite song?… Three Blind Mice! ((Music Jokes & Cat Jokes)
Why did the Cat in the Hat put the letter “M” into the freezer?… To turn “ice” into “mice” (Cat Jokes & Ice Cream Jokes)
Which vegetable does the Cat in the Hat like the most?… As-purr-agus.
Why is the Cat in the Hat such a good piano player?… Because they’re very mewsical. (Cat Jokes & Music Jokes)
What does the Cat in the Hat wear when he sleeps?… paw-jamas! (Cat Jokes & Napping Jokes)
What do you call the Cat in the Hat when he wears winter shoes?… Puss in boots. (Cat Jokes & Winter Jokes)
Why was the Cat in the Hat so crabby?… He was in a bad mewd. (Cat Jokes)
Why did the Cat in the Hat run away from the tree?… It was afraid of the bark! (Cat Jokes & Tree Jokes)
What do you call the Cat in the Hat when he’s walking on snow?… A cool cat. (Cat Jokes & Winter Jokes)
Which side of the Cat in the Hat has the most fur?… The outside. (Dr. Seuss Jokes)
What does the Cat in the Hat read in the morning?… The mewspaper. (Cat Jokes)
Where does the Cat in the Hat go when he’s sick?… To Dr. Seuss. (Dr. Seuss Jokes & Doctor Jokes)
What grade did the Cat in the Hat get on his math test?… A Purrrr-fect score! (Math Jokes for Kids & Dr. Seuss Jokes)
What is the title of the unauthorized autobiography of the Cat in the Hat … Hiss and Tell. (Cat Jokes & Book Jokes)
What is the Cat in the Hat’s favorite school subject?… HISStory. (Cat Jokes & Social Studies Jokes)
What is the Cat in the Hat ‘s favorite cereal?… Mice Krispies. (Cat Jokes & Cereal Jokes)
Where does the Cat in the Hat perform?… At the Circus McGurkus. (Cat Jokes & Circus Jokes)
What does the the Cat in the Hat do when he gets mad?… He has a hissy fit. (Dr. Seuss Jokes)
Why did the Cat in the Hat want to be friends with the fish?… He thought it was a cat fish. (Cat Jokes & Fish Jokes)
What is the Cat in the Hat’s favorite brand of sneaker?… Mew Balance. (Track and Field Jokes)
What kind of yard work does the Cat in the Hat like the most?… Meowing the lawn. (Cat Jokes & Summer Jokes)
How is the Cat in the Hat like a coin?… It has a head on one side and tail on the other. (Cat Jokes & Biology Jokes)
What did the Grinch say when he was caught stealing from a French art museum?… I did it for the Monet! (Art Jokes)
What does the Cat in the Hat like to eat on hot days?… Mice cream cones. (Cat Jokes & Ice Cream Jokes)
What does the Grinch see with?… Burglarize! (Police Jokes)
How fast did the Grinch’s sled go?… Max speed. (Dr. Seuss Jokes)
What is another name for the Cat in the Hat’s apartment?… A scratch pad. (Cat Jokes)
What’s the Grinch’s favorite board game?… Mean-opoly!
What is the Cat in the Hat’s best event in gymnastics?… The balance beam! (Cat Jokes & Gymnastics Jokes)
How did the Grinch know to average all of the presents he stole, so that each Who in Whoville got the same amount returned to them?… He’s a mean one, Mr. Grinch. (Math Jokes for Kids)
What did Mr. Turkey say to the Grinch?… We would like to hire you to steal Thanksgiving. (Thanksgiving Jokes)
Why did the Grinch not steal any kitchen utensils?… He decided it wasn’t worth the whisk! (Police Jokes)
How did the city folk in Whoville refer to the Grinch?… As a Hill-Bully. (Anti-Bullying Blogs)
Why did the Grinch go down the chimney?… Because it sooted him!
What happened when the Grinch went to the flea circus?… He stole the show!
What’s the difference between Batman and the Grinch?… Batman can go into Whoville without Robin! (Batman Jokes)
Why did the Grinch get a burglar alarm?… Because he needs to get up on time! (Police Jokes)
Where does the Grinch keep his money?… In a snow bank. (Snow Jokes)
Why did the Grinch go to the liquor store?… To find some Christmas spirit. (Beer Jokes)
What do people say when they hear the Grinch stealing from them?… Who goes there? (Police Jokes)
Why was it so hard to miss the Grinch on Christmas morning?… He had all the presence.
Why was the Grinch invited to the Cinco de Mayo party?… They thought he was a giant avocado. (Cinco De Mayo Jokes)
Why was the Grinch so bad at playing Crazy 8’s?… He was green (he never played before).
I told my wife that I thought that the Grinch’s voice was a little strange… But the wife said “Who?”
Knock knock… Who’s there?… That’s right, the who’s are here! (Christmas Knock Knock Jokes)
Where does the Grinch keep his money?… In a snow bank. (Snow Jokes / Grinch Jokes)
What did the Cat in the Hat say when the dog ate its food?… You gotta be kitten me. (Cat Jokes & Dog Jokes)
What is the Cat in the Hat’s favorite magazine?… Good Mousekeeping. (Cat Jokes)
What would Sally’s mom say if she saw the messy house?… What a CATastrophe! (Cat Jokes)
What looks like half a Cat in the Hat ?… The other half. (Cat Jokes)
How does the Cat in the Hat eat ice cream?… With his mouth just like everyone else. (Cat Jokes & Ice Cream Jokes)
What’s the first thing the Cat in the Hat does in the morning?… He wakes up! (Cat Jokes)
Why can’t the Cat in the Hat go to high school?… You’re not allowed to wear hats in school! (Hat Jokes & Middle School Jokes)
Why can’t the Cat in the Hat go to elementary school?… You’re not allowed to wear hats in school! (Hat Jokes & Middle School Jokes)
How do you know the Cat in the Hat used your computer?… Your mouse has teeth marks on it. (Cat Jokes)
Why did the Cat in the Hat pour oil on the mouse?… Because it squeaked. (Cat Jokes)
Why did the Cat in the Hat cross the road?… It was the chicken’s day off. (Cat Jokes & Chicken Jokes)
What happens when you give the Cat in the Hat a Rubik’s cube?… It gets purr-plexed. (Cat Jokes)
Why did the Grinch want to go down the chimney?… Because it sooted him. (Grinch Jokes)
Why didn’t the Cat in the Hat ever get grounded?… His mother did not mind anything he did at all. (Cat Jokes & Middle School Jokes)
What does the Cat in the Hat put up when the rain comes down?… His umbrella! (Cat Jokes & Rain Jokes)
What happens when the Cat in the Hat drinks vinegar?… He turns into a sourpuss. (Cat Jokes)
Why was the Cat in the Hat so good with money?… He knew how to balance a checkbook! (Cat Jokes)
If the Cat in the Hat can jump five feet high, then why can’t he jump through a three foot high window?… The window is closed. (Cat Jokes)
What did the Cat in the Hat name his dog?… Spot! (Cat Jokes & Dog Jokes)
What’s black and white and read all over?… The Cat in the Hat. (Cat Jokes)
What happened when the Grinch went to the flea circus?… He stole the show. (Grinch Jokes)
Why does the Cat in the Hat seem so smart?… Because he knows a lot about that! (Cat Jokes)
What does the Cat in the Hat use to keep his grass trimmed?… A lawn meower. (Cat Jokes & Summer Jokes)
Which side of the Cat in the Hat has the most fur?… The outside. (Cat Jokes)
Why doesn’t the Cat in the Hat know about this?… Because he only knows a lot about that! (Cat Jokes)
Why was the Grinch so bad at playing Crazy 8’s?… He was green (he never played before).
Why was it so hard to miss the Grinch on Christmas morning?… He had all presence. (Grinch Jokes & Christmas Jokes)
Why was the Grinch invited to the Cinco de Mayo party?… They thought he was a giant avocado. (Grinch Jokes & Cinco de Mayo Jokes)
What do you call the candy the Grinch stole?… Hot chocolate. (Candy Jokes)
Why can’t the Grinch get down from the mountain?… You can only get down from a goose. (Hiking Jokes)

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