My Town Tutors is a great resource for parents & teachers. Find qualified tutors in your area today!
Top Joke Pages:
Top 10 May Pages / May Hashtag of the Day / May Guest Blogs
- The nurse walked into the busy doctor’s office and said, “Doctor, the invisible man is here.” The doctor replied, “Sorry, I can’t see him.” (Biology Jokes for Kids & Halloween Jokes)
- Did you hear about the kidnapping at the local middle school?… Probably not, he is still sleeping in the nurse’s office. (Napping Jokes & Nurse Jokes)
- Why did the nurse go to art school?… So they could learn to draw blood.
- What is it called when a hospital runs out of maternity nurses?… A mid-wife crisis! (Mother’s Day Jokes)
- Why do nurses carry red crayons to work?… In case they have to draw blood. (Crayon Jokes)
- Why did middle school nurse tip toe past the medicine cabinet? … She didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills. (Doctor Jokes & Napping Jokes)
- Why do nurses bring red magic markers into work?… In case they have to draw blood.
- I was gonna have a baby at the hospital downtown but the week I was due, all the nurses quit their job and bought Corvettes. I guess they were having a midwife crisis.
- The nurse told the parents of a newly born child, “You have a cute baby.” The smiling husband said, “I bet you say that to all new parents.” “No,” she replied, “just to those whose babies really are good-looking.” The husband again asked “So what do you say to the others?” The nurse replied, “The baby looks just like you. (Baby Jokes)
- Doctor to nurse, “How is the child who swallowed a few quarters doing?” Nurse, “No change.”
- A practical nurse is one who marries a rich, terminally ill patient.
- Statistically 9 out of 10 injections are in vein.
- A nurse wakes up her patient and says “Wake up Mrs. Johnson. It’s time to take your sleeping pills”
- When I went to get my vaccinations the young nurse told me they were very nervous as it was their first time. I told them to give it their best shot.
- Patient to nurse, “Will I be able to play the guitar after this operation?” Nurse, “Yes, of course.” Patient “That’s great because I couldn’t before.” (Music Jokes)
- After a bad cut, I asked the ER nurse if I could do my own stitches. She said, “Suture self.”
- Why did the doctor tell the nurse to walk quietly past the medicine cabinet?… So they wouldn’t wake the sleeping pills.
- Doctor to a nurse, “Did you take this patient’s temperature?” Nurse, “No. Why is it missing?”
- What Do Transplant Nurses Hate?… Rejection
- What do you give a sick bird?… Tweetment. (Bird Jokes)
- I once heard a joke about amnesia but I forget how it goes.
- Why do Nurses make the best Jedi?… Because a Jedi must have patience. (Star Wars Jokes)
- “I can’t be your Valentine for medical reasons.”…“Really?”… “Yeah, you make me sick!” (Valentine’s Day Jokes)
- PMS joke are not funny. Period. (Grammar Jokes)
- What do you call two ITU nurses holding hands?… A synapse.
- What ‘s the difference between a nurse and a nun?… A nun only serves one God.
- The nurse taking my blood got annoyed when I told them they were bad at their job, I don’t understand why though, after all they did keep saying: ‘be negative.’ (Psychology Jokes)
- Why did the computer go to the nurse?… It had a virus.
- Did you hear about the nurse who died and went to hell?… It took her two weeks to realize that she wasn’t at work anymore!
- Did you hear about the maternal nurse who ran off with a doctor?… It was a midwife crisis.
- Did you hear the joke about the germ?… Never mind, I don’t want to spread it around. (Doctor Jokes)
- What did the nurse say to the patient who swallowed Scrabble tiles?… Don’t worry, you’ll have a vowel movement soon.
- The nurse who can smile when things go wrong… Is probably going off duty.
- Where did the teacher send the Viking when he got sick in class?… To the school Norse! (Viking Jokes & Leif Erikson Day Jokes)
- When is the worst time to have a heart attack?… During a game of charades.
- Phone call with nurse: My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart! Nurse: “Is this her first child?” Me: “No, you idiot!, this is her husband!” (Baby Jokes)
- A nurse asked me recently, “Are you always this pale?” I told him, “Only on caucasian.”
- When does a nurse get mad?… When she / he runs out of patients!
- I studied to become a nurse, but I didn’t have enough patients for the job. (Labor Jokes)
- I asked my wife to dress up as a nurse tonight… to fulfill my fantasy that we have health care.
- What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil?… Get dressed up, the nurse is helping the doctor and taking us out!
- Where does the Easter Bunny study medicine? … John HOPkins. (Easter Jokes)
- I don’t find medical puns funny anymore since I developed an irony deficiency. (Grammar Jokes)
- Where does a canoe go when it’s sick?… To the DOCK! (Canoe Jokes for Kids / Doctor Jokes for Kids / Summer Jokes for Kids)
- Why did the pillow go to the nurse?… He was feeling all stuffed up!
- How many nurses does it take to screw in a light bulb?… None. They just have a nursing student do it.
- What is the opposite of you’re out?… Urine. (Baseball Jokes)
- Patient to nurse: “I feel run down.” Nurse: “ What makes you say that?” Patient: “The tire marks across my legs.” (Car Jokes)
- Did you hear about the guy who had his entire left side cut off?… He’s all right now.
- Why did the donut go to the nurse?… Because it was feeling crummy! (Donut Jokes for Kids)
- What did the coffee addict say to his nurse?…I don’t have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without it! (Doctor Jokes)
- Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctors?… He was feeling crummy. (Christmas Jokes & Christmas Trivia)
- Why did the leaf go to the doctor?… It was feeling green. (Earth Day & Tree Jokes)
- If an athlete gets athlete’s foot, what does an astronaut get?…Missile Toe! (Christmas Jokes / Christmas Trivia / Top 10 Sports Jokes)
- What do you call a person who is afraid of Santa Claus?… Claustrophobic. (Christmas Jokes & Christmas Trivia)
- What do you get when you cross a four-leaf clover with poison ivy?… A rash of good luck on St. Patrick’s Day. (St. Patrick’s Day Jokes)
- What do you get when you eat Christmas ornaments?… Tinsel-itis! (Christmas Jokes & Christmas Tree Jokes)
- If Jake has 30 chocolate bars, and eats 25, what does he have? Diabetes….. Jake has diabetes… (Candy Jokes)
- What kept Avogadro in bed for two months?… Moleonucleosis. (Mole Day Jokes)
- What falls but never gets hurt?… The rain! (Spring Jokes)
- Why did the cookie go to the hospital?… He was feeling really crummy!
- Did you hear the news that a lot of applications just came in from people looking to pursue a career as the government’s top-ranking medical official?… Yes, there was a surge in general.
- What does a pig put on a cut?… Oinkment
- Why was Santa’s little helper sad?… He had low elf esteem! (Christmas Jokes & Christmas Trivia)
- What’s the opposite of coffee?… Sneezy. (Doctor Jokes)
- What is the proper way to use a stress ball?… Throw it at the last person who made you mad.
- Why did the nurse lose his / her temper?… Because he didn’t have any patients!
- Sign on the lawn at a rehab center…. Keep off the grass.