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Top Joke Pages: 

(Peanut Jokes)

Google Search “Peanut Jokes”

  1. Knock knock?… Who is there?… Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We promise to share the best peanut jokes!
  2. What do you get when you cross a groundhog with a peanut?… An animal who is nuts about predicting the start of spring.
  3. What competition do peanuts hockey teams participate in?… The peanut butter cup. (Peanut Butter Jokes & Hockey Jokes)
  4. I just made a playlist for hiking in California. It consists of Peanuts, Eminem, California Raisins and The Cranberries… I call it my Trail Mix. (California Jokes / Music Jokes / Hiking Jokes / Peanut Jokes)
  5. I am a judge for peanut beauty pageants… My job is pretty nuts.
  6. I once got in a rap battle with a peanut… He was roasted. (365 Music Jokes)
  7. Most people don’t know where peanuts grow… It’s totally underground.
  8. Why are elephants always so broke?… They work for peanuts. (Elephant Jokes / Zoo Jokes / Labor Day Jokes)
  9. Did you hear the joke about the peanut butter?…  I’m nut telling you. You might spread it! (Peanut Butter Jokes)
  10. I can’t read Charlie Brown comics anymore… Turns out I’m allergic to peanuts. (Charlie Brown Jokes)
  11. What kind of fish do you put on peanut butter sandwich?… A jellyfish.
  12. Why did the peanut never come to school?… Because everyone was allergic to him. (Jokes for Teachers)
  13. How does a peanut sneeze?… CASHEW.
  14. Where did the peanuts go to have a few drinks?…  The Snack Bar! (Beer Jokes)
  15. Did you hear the joke about the peanut, pistachio and cashew?… It was nut funny!
  16. What do peanuts wear on their feet?… Cashews.
  17. What is a peanut’s favorite basketball drill for defense?… The shell drill. (365 Basketball Jokes)
  18. I always like to keep a jar of peanut butter in the car when I travel on a busy freeway … just in case there’s a traffic jam.
  19. I once got in a rap battle with a peanut… He was roasted. (Music Jokes)
  20. How do you make a peanut laugh?… You crack it up.
  21. What do you call a soft peanut?… A fluffernutter.
  22. Peanut oil is made from peanuts. Olive oil is from olives… I’m not ever buying any more baby oil.
  23. Why did the peanuts run across the busy road?…  Because they were nuts! (Psychology Jokes)
  24. Did you hear about the peanut butter factory that exploded?… The Reese’s was in pieces.
  25. Did you hear about the peanut that wanted to be a teacher?… It wanted to go into macadamia.
  26. Wanna hear a rumor about peanut butter?… Nevermind, I’d rather not spread it.
  27. What do you call a peanut in a spacesuit?…  An astronut! (Astronomy Jokes)
  28. What’s the most valuable kind of nut?… A cash-ew!
  29. Why did Mr. Peanut go to the hospital?… Because he was a-salted. (Doctor Jokes & Police Jokes)
  30. As much as they tried, the ladies couldn’t get Mr. Peanut out onto the dance floor… He was a bit of a wall nut.
  31. Where do peanut drivers go to fill their tanks?…  The Shell station! (Car Jokes)
  32. What did the apple say to the peanuts?… You’re Nuts! (Apple Jokes)
  33. Why did the squirrel want a pay rise?… They were paid peanuts!
  34. What’s a peanut’s favorite Shakepeare line?… To be or nut to be! 
  35. What do chipmunks like to watch on TV?… Anything on Nut-flix! 
  36. What do you call peanuts with guns?… Packing Peanuts.
  37. What did the aggressive walnut say to the group of peanuts?… You better hope I don’t cashew outside!!
  38. The peanuts are running around the yard playing tag… The peanut that is It keeps yelling, “I’m gonna cashew!”
  39. My girlfriend usually has peanut butter toast for breakfast, but this morning we were out of bread, and she’s been grouchy all day… I never knew she was lack-toast intolerant.
  40. Which nut loves chess?… A chess-nut! 
  41. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about peanuts? 
  42. How do you catch an elephant?…  Hide in the grass and make a sound like a peanut! (Elephant Jokes)
  43. What kind of socks do you need to plant peanuts?…  Garden hose! (Flower Jokes)
  44. Two peanuts were walking down a road… One was a salted (assaulted). (Walking Jokes & Police Jokes)
  45. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good peanut knock-knock joke?
  46. What did the peanut say to the elephant?…  Nothing, peanuts can’t talk. (Elephant Jokes)
  47. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good peanuts knock knock jokes? (June Jokes Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  48. What kind of nuts hang?…  wallnuts.
  49. Two peanuts were walking down the road… Suddenly a robber jumped out and one was assalted. (Police Jokes)
  50. What did the peanut say to the moon?… Nothing.. Peanuts don’t speak. (Full Moon Jokes)
  51. Lately, whenever I read a comic strip about Charlie Brown or Snoopy I break out in hives… I think I’m allergic to Peanuts. (Charlie Brown Jokes)
  52. I would like to share you this joke about peanut butter but I won’t. Because you might spread it.
  53. What do you call a peanut with a cold?… CASHEW!
  54. Why the motorist spread peanut butter on the road?… So they’d have something to go with the traffic jam!
  55. What do you call a nut with a hairy lip?… A moustachio! 
  56. What do you call a nut stuck to a wall?… A walnut! 
  57. What smells like nuts but is invisible?… A squirrel’s fart! 
  58. What noise did the nut make when it sneezed?… CAAAA-SHEW! 
  59. Where’s the best place to find out facts about nuts?… he inter-nut! 
  60. Why did the peanut go to prom?… It was a classy no-shell affair!