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Top Joke Pages: 

(Peanut Jokes)

Google Search “Peanut Jokes”

  1. Knock knock?… Who is there?… Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We promise to share the best peanut jokes!
  2. Why are elephants always so broke?… They work for peanuts. (Elephant Jokes / Zoo Jokes / Labor Day Jokes)
  3. I just made a playlist for hiking in California. It consists of Peanuts, Eminem, California Raisins and The Cranberries… I call it my Trail Mix. (California Jokes / Music Jokes / Hiking Jokes / Peanut Jokes)
  4. I can’t read Charlie Brown comics anymore… Turns out I’m allergic to peanuts. (Charlie Brown Jokes)
  5. What kind of fish do you put on peanut butter sandwich?… A jellyfish.
  6. Did you hear the joke about the peanut butter?…  I’m nut telling you. You might spread it! (Peanut Butter Jokes)
  7. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about peanuts? 
  8. As much as they tried, the ladies couldn’t get Mr. Peanut out onto the dance floor… He was a bit of a wall nut.
  9. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good peanut knock-knock joke?
  10. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good peanuts knock knock jokes? (June Jokes Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  11. Where do peanut drivers go to fill their tanks?…  The Shell station! (Car Jokes)
  12. How do you make a peanut laugh?… You crack it up.
  13. What do you call a soft peanut?… A fluffernutter
  14. How does a peanut sneeze?… CASHEW
  15. I once got in a rap battle with a peanut… He was roasted. (Music Jokes)
  16. Two peanuts were walking down a road… One was a salted (assaulted). (Walking Jokes & Police Jokes)
  17. What do you call a peanut in a spacesuit?…  An astronut! (Astronomy Jokes)
  18. What do peanuts wear on their feet?… Cashews.
  19. Did you hear the joke about the peanut, pistachio and cashew?… It was nut funny!
  20. Why did the peanut never come to school?… Because everyone was allergic to him. (Jokes for Teachers)
  21. What kind of socks do you need to plant peanuts?…  Garden hose! (Flower Jokes)
  22. What did the apple say to the peanuts?… You’re Nuts! (Apple Jokes)
  23. Where did the peanuts go to have a few drinks?…  The Snack Bar! (Beer Jokes)
  24. Wanna hear a rumor about peanut butter?… Nevermind, I’d rather not spread it.
  25. Why did Mr. Peanut go to the hospital?… He was a salted. (Doctor Jokes)
  26. Did you hear about the peanut that wanted to be a teacher?… It wanted to go into macadamia.
  27. Did you hear about the peanut butter factory that exploded?… The Reese’s was in pieces.
  28. How do you catch an elephant?…  Hide in the grass and make a sound like a peanut! (Elephant Jokes)
  29. What did the peanut say to the elephant?…  Nothing, peanuts can’t talk. (Elephant Jokes)
  30. I always like to keep a jar of peanut butter in the car when I travel on a busy freeway … just in case there’s a traffic jam.
  31. What do you call peanuts with guns?… Packing Peanuts.
  32. I am a judge for peanut beauty pageants… My job is pretty nuts
  33. Why did the peanuts run across the busy road?…  Because they were nuts! (Psychology Jokes)
  34. What kind of nuts hang?…  wallnuts.
  35. Two peanuts were walking down the road… Suddenly a robber jumped out and one was assalted. (Police Jokes)
  36. What did the peanut say to the moon?… Nothing.. Peanuts don’t speak. (Full Moon Jokes)
  37. What did the aggressive walnut say to the group of peanuts?… You better hope I don’t cashew outside!!
  38. The peanuts are running around the yard playing tag… The peanut that is It keeps yelling, “I’m gonna cashew!”
  39. Lately, whenever I read a comic strip about Charlie Brown or Snoopy I break out in hives… I think I’m allergic to Peanuts. (Charlie Brown Jokes)
  40. Most people don’t know where peanuts grow… It’s totally underground.
  41. I would like to share you this joke about peanut butter but I won’t. Because you might spread it.
  42. What do you call a peanut with a cold?… CASHEW
  43. My girlfriend usually has peanut butter toast for breakfast, but this morning we were out of bread, and she’s been grouchy all day. I never knew she was lack-toast intolerant.
  44. Peanut oil is made from peanuts. Olive oil is from olives.. I’m not ever buying any more baby oil.
  45. Why the motorist spread peanut butter on the road?… So they’d have something to go with the traffic jam!
  46. Why did the squirrel want a pay rise?… They were paid peanuts!
  47. What do you call a nut with a hairy lip?… A moustachio! 
  48. What do you call a nut stuck to a wall?… A walnut! 
  49. Which nut loves chess?… A chess-nut! 
  50. What do chipmunks like to watch on TV?… Anything on Nut-flix! 
  51. What smells like nuts but is invisible?… A squirrel’s fart! 
  52. What’s a peanut’s favorite Shakepeare line?… To be or nut to be! 
  53. What noise did the nut make when it sneezed?… CAAAA-SHEW! 
  54. Where’s the best place to find out facts about nuts?… he inter-nut! 
  55. What’s the most valuable kind of nut?… A cash-ew!