May Jokes for Teachers

by | Apr 28, 2021 | Uncategorized

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  1. May 1st National Principal’s Day: Principal Jokes for Kids: Students going to the Homecoming Dance: Knock Knock!… Who’s there?… Dewey….Dewey who?… Dewey have to take a breathalizer? (Police Jokes & Homecoming Jokes)
  2. May 4th Kentucky Derby Knock Knock Jokes: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you teach me how to sing My Old Kentucky Home? (365 Music Jokes)
  3. May 4th: Top 10 May the Fourth Be With You Jokes: When did Anakin’s Jedi masters know he was leaning towards the dark side?… In the Sith Grade. (Middle School Jokes & May Jokes for Teachers)
  4. May 5th: Revenge of the Fifth Jokes: Why did Anikin Walker cross the road?… To get to the Dark Side. (Top 10 Revenge of the Fifth Jokes)
  5. May 5th: Top 10 Cinco De Mayo Jokes: Cinco de Mayo is nacho average holiday
  6. If a train station is where the train stops, and a bus station is where the bus stops, what is a work station?
  7. Top 10 Spring Jokes: If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflower’s bring?… Pilgrims! (Social Studies Jokes & Rain Jokes)
  8. Why did Princess Leia fail her exams?… She had Alderaan answers!
  9. Nurses Week: Why did the nurse go to art school?… So they could learn to draw blood. (Art Jokes & May Jokes for Teachers)
  10. Top 10 Nurse Jokes: The nurse walked into the busy doctor’s office and said, “Doctor, the invisible man is here.” The doctor replied, “Sorry, I can’t see him.” (Biology Jokes for Kids & Halloween Jokes)
  11. What are a teacher’s three favorite words?… May, June, and July. (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month & Jokes for Teachers)
  12. May 12th: Mother’s Day Jokes: Sunday school teacher: Tell me, do you say prayers before eating?… Student: No, ma’am, I don’t have to. My mom’s a good cook.
  13. A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along when suddenly a cat attacks them. The mother mouse shouts “BARK!” and the cat runs away. “See?” the mother mouse says to her baby. “Now do you see why it’s important to learn a foreign language?” (Funny Animal Jokes for Kids / Jokes for Teachers / Cat Jokes)
  14. Why did the teacher marry the custodian?… Because he swept her off her feet! (Wedding Jokes)
  15. May 15th: Chocolate Chip Cookie Day: When should you take a chocolate chip cookie to the doctor?… When it feels crummy. 
  16. Top 10 Mother’s Day Jokes: What did the mother rope say to her child?…“Don’t be knotty.”
  17. May 17th Bike to Work Day Jokes: Teacher: If you got $20 from 5 people, what do you get? Student: A new bike!
  18. May 18th International Astronomy Day: My son just graduated from college. My friends asked me what he majored in. I told them he was studying to be an astronaut: he took up space. (Graduation Jokes)
  19. School Sign on the Last Day of School: Dear Parents, Tag your it! Love Teachers.
  20. Knock Knock… Who’s there!… B-4!… B-4 who?… B-4 you leave school for summer vacation, thank your teacher for a great year! (Write a Thank You Letter to A Teacher)
  21. Me and my high school prom date are marrying next year… Hers is in January and mine in May! (Wedding Jokes & Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  22. Science teacher: When is the boiling point reached?… Science student: When my father sees my report card! (Teacher Jokes & Chemistry Jokes for Teachers)
  23. May 23rd: World Turtle Day: I used to have a teacher called Mrs Turtle… Strange looking woman but she tortoise well.
  24. Memorial Day Jokes for Teachers: Teacher: Johnny, what are the last words of “The Star-Spangled Banner”?… Student: “Play ball”? (Baseball Jokes & Flag Day Jokes)
  25. Memorial Day Jokes for Teachers: Teacher: “Who wrote: Oh say, can you see?” Student: “An eye doctor?” (Teacher Jokes & Biology Jokes)
  26. Memorial Day Jokes for Teachers: Memorial Day Weekend was coming up, and the nursery school teacher took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism. “We live in a great country,” she said. “One of the things we should be happy about is that, in this country, we are all free.” One little boy came walking up to her from the back of the room. He stood with his hands on his hips and said. . . .“I’m not free. I’m four.” (Elementary School Jokes)
  27. Why did the teacher bring solar eclipse glasses to school?… She had bright students! (Solar Eclipse Jokes)
  28. National Hamburger Day Jokes: What do you get when you cross a hamburger with a computer?… A Big Mac! (Computer Jokes for Kids)
  29. National Flip Flop Day Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe wear flip flops to school? (Canoe Jokes) 
  30. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah who?… Noah more school – it’s summer vacation! (School Knock Knock Jokes)
  31. What month of the year is the shortest?… May (only 3 letters)
  32. What month always asks questions and permission?… May!
  33. My English teacher used to quote The Lord of the Rings to us… She used to say “you shall not pass.” (Grammar Jokes)
  34. Top 10 Memorial Day Jokes: What was General Washington’s favorite tree?…The infan-tree! (4th of July Jokes for Kids)
  35. Which month can’t make a decision?… MAYbe. (May Jokes)
  36. Why doesn’t Conor McGregor like fighting in the spring?… Because of Mayweather. (Boxing Jokes & May Jokes)
  37. Can February March? … No, but April May! (Jokes for Each Month)
  38. If January threw a parade would February March?… No but April May! (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  39. Why does Manny Pacquiao hate spring?… Because it has May weather in it! (Boxing Jokes & May Jokes)
  40. May 12th: Top 10 Nurse Jokes: The nurse walked into the busy doctor’s office and said, “Doctor, the invisible man is here.” The doctor replied, “Sorry, I can’t see him.” (Biology Jokes for Kids & Halloween Jokes)
  41. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about May? (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  42. Can February March? … No, but April May! (Jokes for Each Month)
  43. What are a teacher’s three favorite words?… May, June, and July. (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month & Jokes for Teachers)
  44. May 30th: Top 10 Memorial Day Jokes: What was General Washington’s favorite tree?…The infan-tree! (4th of July Jokes for Kids)
  45. What grades do you need to join the navy?… 7 C’s. (Navy Jokes)
  46. A man walks up to the counter. “Two pairs of underwear please.” The man behind the counter looks at him in disbelief. “Only two pairs of underwear?” “Yup. I wear one while the other is in the wash.” The man behind the counter looks at him in disgust, then rings out his order. A second man walks in. “5 pairs of underwear please.” “Only 5 eh?” “Yeah, I wear one for every weekday, then go commando all the weekend.” The man behind the counter shakes his head. “Well, you’re better then the last guy!” A third man walks in. “7 pairs of underwear please.” “Finally, a man who knows hygiene!” “Yes, I do try. One for every day, and I do my laundry on Sunday.” At the end of the day, a fourth man walks into the underwear store. “12 pairs of underwear please.” “Wow! You must be really clean!” The man smiles. “Yup, that’s me! Err, hang on, let me see if I counted right. January, February, March, April…” (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  47. Why do teachers make the best Jedi?… Because a Jedi must have patience.
  48. What does Yoda say to encourage a Padawan before a test?… Do well, you will do!
  49. My wife’s panties are labelled ‘Monday’, ‘Tuesday’, ‘Wednesday’ … My underwear is labelled ‘January’, February’, ‘March’… (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  50. What would Obi-wan say if he was a teacher?… Metaphors be with you. (Jokes for Teachers & Grammar Jokes)
  51. Good study hobbits require a frodo-graphic memory. (101 Lord of the Rings Jokes)
  52. Kentucky Derby Jokes: What did the teacher say when the Kentucky Derby horse walked into her class?… “Why the long face?”

May 1st: May Day Jokes for Kids

  1. Did you hear the joke about Labor Day?… It doesn’t work for me!
  2. Father: Do you know, most people don’t have to work today, because it’s Labour Day. Son: If people are not working, shouldn’t we call today ‘No-Labour Day?’
  3. One seventh of your life is spent on Monday.  However, the only person to get his work done by Friday was Robinson Crusoe.
  4. If a train station is where the train stops, and a bus station is where the bus stops, what is a work station?
  5. I asked a little girl do you know why we get out of school for Labor Day? She was very enthusiastic to say “It is a time when all the mommys of the world go into labor”
  6. If today is labor day, how many babies were born?
  7. My first job was in an orange juice factory, but I couldn’t concentrate on the same old boring rind, so I got canned.

May 4th: May the 4th Be With You Jokes

  1. Why did the angry Jedi cross the road?… To get to the Dark Side.
  2. When did Anakin’s Jedi masters know he was leaning towards the dark side?… In the Sith Grade. (180 School Jokes)
  3. What do you call a pirate droid?… Argh2-D2 (Teach Like a Pirate is a great book for teachers! & Top Pirate Jokes)
  4. How do Ewoks communicate over long distances?… With Ewokie Talkies
  5. Where does Princess Leia go shopping for clothing and such?… At the Darth Maul, of course. (Black Friday Jokes)

May 5th: Cinco De Mayo Jokes: Cinco De May Jokes for Kids

  1. What do you call cheese that is not yours?… NA Cho cheese (180 School Jokes)
  2. What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?… Brrrr- itos.
  3. Why can’t you trust burritos to keep a secret?… They tend to spill the beans.
  4. What does a depressed tortilla say?… I don’t wanna taco ’bout it.
  5. Have you heard the joke about the tortilla?… It was corny.

Mother’s Day Jokes for Kids

  1. What did the mother rope say to her child?…“Don’t be knotty.”
  2. What did the digital clock say to its mother?… “Look, Ma! No hands!”
  3. What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?… It’s time to go to sweep!
  4. Mom, what is it like to have the best child in the world?… I don’t know, go ask your grandparents. (Grandparent Jokes)
  5. Larry’s mother had four children. Three were named North, South and West. What was her other child’s name? … Larry. (Geography Jokes for Kids)

Memorial Day Jokes for Kids

  1. Where did the General put his armies?… In his sleevies. (get it his sleeves)?
  2. What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for?… Liberty!
  3. What was General Washington’s favorite tree?…The infan-tree! (Top 40 4th of July Jokes)
  4. Teacher “More than 200 years ago, our forefathers defeated the British in the Revolutionary War.”… Student “ Wow! They must have been pretty strong, four men defeating a whole army!” (Top 40 4th of July Jokes)
  5. Why didn’t the Confederate soldier want to go to the baseball game?… He heard the Yankees were playing. ? (Baseball Jokes for Kids)