Memorial Day Jokes for Teachers

by | May 29, 2021 | Education, Latest News, School Jokes

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  1. Teacher: Johnny, what are the last words of “The Star-Spangled Banner”?… Student: “Play ball”? (Baseball Jokes & Flag Day Jokes)
  2. Teacher: “Who wrote: Oh say, can you see?” Student: “An eye doctor?” (Teacher Jokes & Biology Jokes)
  3. Memorial Day Weekend was coming up, and the nursery school teacher took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism. “We live in a great country,” she said. “One of the things we should be happy about is that, in this country, we are all free.” One little boy came walking up to her from the back of the room. He stood with his hands on his hips and said. . . .“I’m not free. I’m four.” (Elementary School Jokes)
  4. Father William, the old priest, made it a practice to visit the parish school one day a week. He walked into the 4th grade class, where the children were studying the states, and asked them how many states they could name. They came up with about 40 names.  Father William jokingly told them that in his day students knew the names of all the states. One lad raised his hand and said, Yes sir, but in those days there were only 13 states. (4th of July Jokes)
  5. My great-grandfather fought with Napoleon, my grandfather fought with the French and my father fought with the Americans…. Your relatives couldn’t get along with anyone, could they? (Grandparent Jokes & Army Jokes)
  6. What was the most popular dance in 1776?… Indepen-dance. (American Revolution Jokes)
  7. A little boy just couldn’t learn. One day his teacher asked him who signed the Declaration of Independence. He didn’t know. For almost a week she asked him the same question every day, but still he couldn’t come up with the right answer. Finally, in desperation, she called the boy’s father to her office. “Your boy won’t tell me who signed the Declaration of Independence,” she complained. “Come here, son, and sit down,” the dad said to the boy. “Now if you signed that crazy thing, just admit it so we can get out of here!” (Top Teacher Jokes)
  8. What did one American flag say to the other flag?…..Nothing. It just waved! (Flag Day Jokes)
  9. Did you hear the one about the Liberty Bell?… Yeah, it cracked me up too! (American Revolution Jokes)
  10. Do they have a 4th of July in England?… Of course. That’s how they get from the 3rd to the 5th. (4th of July Quiz)
  11. What month do all troops hate?… March.
  12. Why were the first Americans like ants?… They lived in colonies. (Ant Jokes)
  13. What do you call an AWESOME American drawing by a child?… A Yankee Doodle Dandy! (Art Jokes)
  14. What would you get if you crossed the American national bird with Snoopy?… A bald beagle!. (Bird Jokes)
  15. What did Paul Revere say at the end of his historic ride?… I’ve got to get a softer saddle! (Horse Jokes)
  16. What famous pig signed the Declaration of Independence?… John Hamcock! (Pig Jokes)
  17. What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?… A fire cracker. (4th of July Jokes / Bird Jokes / Fireworks Jokes)
  18. What was Thomas Jefferson’s favorite dessert?… Monti jello.
  19. Did you hear about the artist in the Continental Army?… He was a Yankee doodler. (Art Jokes)
  20. Who was the biggest jokester in George Washington’s army?… Laughayette.
  21. Teacher: “True or False? The Declaration of Independence was written in Philadelphia. Student: “False. It was written in ink.” (Teacher Jokes / 4th of July Jokes / Pennsylvania Jokes)
  22. What was the name of the worm army?… The Apple Corps. (Worm Jokes & Apple Jokes) 
  23. What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware?…”Get in the boat, men!” (Top 50 State Jokes)
  24. How did American colonists’ dogs protest against England?… The Boston Flea Party. (Dog Jokes)
  25. Teacher: “Which son of old Virginia wrote the Declaration of Independence?” Student: “I think it was Thomas Jeffer’s son.” (Virginia Jokes)
  26. Where did the General put his armies?… In his sleevies. (get it his sleeves)? (Biology Jokes)
  27. Who gave the Liberty Bell to Philadelphia?… A duck family, because it had a qwack in it! (Duck Jokes)
  28. Where did George Washington buy his hatchet?… At the chopping mall. (Black Friday Jokes)
  29. What’s big, cracked, and carries your luggage?… The Liberty Bellhop! (Travel Guest Blogs)
  30. What is red, white, blue, and yellow?… A star-spangled banana. (Banana Jokes)
  31. What do you call someone who just got run over by a tank?… Crunchy.
  32. A small boy was staring at the names on the wall of an old church when the pastor noticed him. “What are you looking at?” asked the clergyman. “All those names. Who are they?” the boy asked. The pastor nodded, and said, “They are the reason we have Memorial Day. They are those who died in the service.” The little boy considered that, then asked quietly, “The 9 o’clock service or the 11 o’clock?” (Cemetery Jokes)
  33. What cat said, “The British are coming! The British are coming!”?… Paw Revere. (Cat Jokes)
  34. What has four legs, a shiny nose, and fought for England?… Rudolph the Redcoat Reindeer! (Christmas Trivia & Christmas Jokes)
  35. Why did the British cross the Atlantic?… To get to the other tide! (Ocean Jokes)
  36. What’s the difference between a duck and George Washington?… One has a bill on his face; the other has his face on a bill! (Duck Jokes)
  37. What do you call an American revolutionary who draws cartoons?…Yankee Doodler. (Art Jokes)
  38. Why were the first Pennsylvania settlers like ants?… Because they lived in colonies. (Top 50 State Jokes& Pennsylvania Jokes)
  39. What protest by a group of dogs occurred in 1772?… The Boston Flea Party. (Boston Jokes & Dog Jokes)
  40. Why are there no knock knock jokes about America?… Because freedom rings! (Memorial Day Knock Knock Jokes)
  41. What was General Washington’s favorite tree?…The infan-tree! (4th of July Jokes for Kids & Tree Jokes)
  42. Teacher: “More than 200 years ago, our forefathers defeated the British in the Revolutionary War.”… Student: “Wow! They must have been pretty strong, four men defeating a whole army!” (180 School Jokes & 4th of July Jokes for Kids)
  43. What does the Statue of Liberty stand for?… It can’t sit down. (New York Jokes)
  44. What is Uncle Sam’s favorite snack?… Fire crackers. (Fireworks Jokes)
  45. What kind of tea did the American colonists want?… Liberty. (Tea Jokes & American Revolution Jokes)
  46. What did the commander say to his troops?… March 4th! (March Jokes & Veterans’ Day Jokes)
  47. Teacher: “How did the Founding Fathers decide on our country’s flag?” Student: “I guess they took a flag poll!” (Flag Day Jokes)
  48. What did the colonists wear to the Boston Tea Party?…Tea-shirts. (4th of July Jokes for Kids)
  49. What was the Patriots’ favorite food in the Revolutionary War?…Chicken Catch-a-Tory! (4th of July Jokes for Kids)
  50. “Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?”… “On the bottom!”
  51. What march would you play at a jungle parade?… “Tarzan Stripes Forever!” (Music Jokes & Tarzan Jokes)
  52. Soldiers in Heaven Little Jake asked his mother during the Memorial Day Parade: “Mamma, don’t soldiers ever go to heaven?” “Of course they do!” protested his mother. “What makes you ask?” “There are so many soldiers with beards but I never saw any pictures of angels with beards.” he replied The mother responded “Oh, that’s because most vets who go to Heaven get there by a close shave.” (Barber Jokes)
  53. What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?…The Americans licked the British. (4th of July Jokes for Kids)
  54. What ghost haunted King George III?… The spirit of ‘76! (Ghost Jokes)
  55. Did you hear about the tree who deserted the forest at the end of fall… He was absent without leaves! (Fall Jokes & Veterans’ Day Jokes)
  56. British people say that we as Americans go overboard with the 4th of July…. When really the only thing that went overboard was their tea. (Tea Jokes)
  57. How did George Washington speak to during his 1st presidential Inauguration?…. In general terms. (Veterans Day Jokes & Inauguration Jokes)
  58. The 2012 film Lincoln did well in theaters, historically this has not been true. (Civil War Jokes & Movie Jokes)
  59. What do you call a really high ranking snack?… A popcorn colonel. (Veterans Day Jokes / Army Jokes / Popcorn Jokes)
  60. What is a cow’s favorite holiday?… Moomorial day. (Cow Jokes)
  61. Did you hear about the popcorn that joined the army?… They made him a kernel. (Veterans Day Jokes / Army Jokes / Popcorn Jokes)
  62. How is a bag of popcorn like an army?… It has lots of kernels. (Veterans Day Jokes & Popcorn Jokes)
  63. There was a bad accident at the Air Force base… A jeep ran over a bag of popcorn and killed two kernels. (Veterans Day Jokes / Popcorn Jokes / Air Force Jokes)
  64. An octopus went off to war… It’s a good thing that he was well-armed. (Octopus Jokes & Veterans Day Jokes)
  65. A recruiter asks an octopus if he wants to join the Army… The octopus says no thanks I’m army enough as it is. (Octopus Jokes & Veterans Day Jokes)
  66. What are the two main rules in the Army?… 1. The commanding officer is always right. 2. If the commanding officer is not right, see #1.
  67. Did you hear about the guy who put little G.I. Joe soldiers at the bottom of his coffee cup?… He’d heard that the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup! (Coffee Jokes)
  68. If you want to avoid traffic this Memorial Day then avoid traveling on Memorial Way Weekend. (Car Jokes)
  69. Who wins most of the medals for bravery in Burger Land?… The meatball heroes! (Meatball Jokes & Hamburger Jokes)
  70. Memorial Day 2020: Not a single person at those Memorial Day swim parties in Missouri was social distancing. They were packed in there, shoulder-to-shoulder, splashing around, making a… …second wave pool.
  71. Why do volleyball player want to join the armed forces?… For the chance to gain some experience in the service. (Volleyball Jokes)
  72. A Great American Book Never Written: “The Parts of the National Anthem” by Homer D. Brave. (Flag Day Jokes & Book Jokes)
  73. Best War of 1812 Book Never Written:… “The Star- Spangled Banner” by Jose Kanusee. (Flag Day Jokes & Book Jokes)
  74. What did King George think of the American colonists?…He thought they were revolting! (4th of July Jokes for Kids)
  75. What do you call a soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray?… A seasoned veteran. (Army Jokes)
  76. Did you hear about the Super Bowl player who asked his coach to flood the field so he could go in as a sub? (Veteran’s Day Jokes & Memorial Day Jokes)
  77. Why didn’t Washington make a reservation to the restaurant on the moon?… Great food, no atmosphere! (Full Moon Jokes)
  78. “If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn’t have declared their independence from it.” Stephen Colbert
  79. Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington?…Because the horse was too heavy to carry! (4th of July Jokes for Kids)
  80. What did a patriot put on his dry skin?… Revo-lotion! (American Revolution Jokes)
  81. What’s red, white and blue?…Our flag, of course. And a sad candy cane! (4th of July Jokes for Kids & Candy Jokes)
  82. What was the craziest battle of the Revolutionary War?…The Battle of Bonkers Hill. (4th of July Jokes for Kids)
  83. How do you memorialize the death of a planet?… You write an orbituary. (Astronomy Jokes)
  84. The new backyard grill I got for Memorial Day weekend is actually assembled in America… The box of components are imported, but I had to put it together myself in my garage.
  85. What’s red, white, blue and green?… A seasick Uncle Sam. (Ocean Jokes)
  86. Why is the Liberty Bell like a dropped Easter egg?… They’re both cracked. (Easter Jokes & Egg Jokes)
  87. What did Washington say as he crossed the Delaware?… ”Next time I’m going to reserve a seat!” (Delaware Jokes)
  88. Great American Political Book Never Written: “How to Become President” by Paul O’Ticks. (Presidents’ Day Jokes / Election Jokes / Book Jokes)
  89. What’s red, white, blue, and green?… A patriotic turtle! (Turtle Jokes)
  90. Why does Uncle Sam wear red, white and blue suspenders?… To hold up his pants. (4th of July Jokes)
  91. What did the little firecracker say to the big firecracker?… Hi, Pop! (Fireworks Jokes & Father’s Day Jokes)
  92. What’s red, white, blue, and green?… A patriotic pickle. (Pickle Jokes)
  93. What would you get if you crossed a patriot with a small curly-haired dog?… Yankee Poodle. (Bird Jokes & Dog Jokes)
  94. Why did George Washington chop down the cherry tree with his hatchet?… Because his mom wouldn’t let him use the chainsaw. (Tree Jokes
  95. What would you get if you crossed Washington’s home with nasty insects?… Mt. Vermin!
  96. What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with fireworks?… Dino-mite! (Dinosaur Jokes & Fireworks Jokes)
  97. What would you get if you crossed an idiot with Yankee Doodle?… Yankee Doofus!
  98. How is the American flag like Santa Claus?… They both hang out at the pole! (Christmas Trivia & Christmas Jokes)
  99. Teacher: “What do you know that has stars and stripes?” Student: “A movie about a zebra!” (Zebra Jokes)
  100. What’s red, white, black and blue?… Uncle Sam falling down the stairs. (4th of July Jokes)
  101. How was Christopher Columbus like ants?… They both established colonies. (Columbus Day Jokes)
  102. Food, Family, Fourth of July, and Fireworks. The four best F words ever! (4th of July Jokes)
  103. Why did the British soldiers wear red coat?… So they could hide in the tomatoes.
  104. What’s red, white, blue, and almost as ugly as a dog?… A revolutionary warthog!
  105. What kind of tea did the American colonists want?… Liberty. (Tea Jokes & American Revolution Jokes)
  106. “My brother swallowed a box of firecrackers.” Friend: “Is he all right now?”…. “I don’t know. I haven’t heard the last report.” (Fireworks Jokes)
  107. In The Navy “Well,” snarled the tough old Navy Chief to the bewildered Seaman. “I suppose after you get discharged from the Navy, you’ll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and piss on my grave.” “Not me, Chief!” the Seaman replied. “Once I get out of the Navy, I’m never going to stand in line again!”
  108. What would you get if you crossed a colonial hairpiece with a teepee?… A powdered wigwam! (Barber Jokes)