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Google Search “May Jokes”

  1. May 1st: Top 10 May Day JokesDid you hear Ted Danson is the spokesperson for May Day… Of course, he played Sam “May Day” Malone in the sitcom Cheers. (Baseball Jokes & May Day Jokes)
  2. May 1st National Principal’s Day: Teacher: I’ve had to send you to the principal every day this week. What do you have to say for yourself? Student: I’m glad it’s Friday! (Jokes for the Last Day of School)
  3. May 2nd: How many seconds are in a year?… Twelve. January second, February second, March second, etc. (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  4. May 4th: Top 10 May the Fourth Be With You Jokes: What does Luke Skywalker say whilst playing golf… May the course be with you! (Golf Jokes)
  5. May 5thTop 10 Cinco De Mayo Jokes: Cinco de Mayo is nacho average holiday.
  6. May 5th: Revenge of the Fifth JokesWhy did Anikin Walker cross the road?… To get to the Dark Side. (Top 10 Revenge of the Fifth Jokes)
  7. May 4th Kentucky Derby Jokes: In honor of the Kentucky Derby: Horse Racing is very romantic. The horse hugs the rail, the jockey puts his arms around the horse, and you kiss your money goodbye.
  8. May 6th – 10th Nurses Week: Top 10 Nurse JokesThe nurse walked into the busy doctor’s office and said, “Doctor, the invisible man is here.” The doctor replied, “Sorry, I can’t see him.” (Biology Jokes for Kids & Nurse Jokes)
  9. Why does Spider-Man only have 11 months on his calendar?… Because he lost May. (May Jokes)
  10. What did the spring say when it was in trouble?… May Day!! (May Day Jokes & Spring Jokes)
  11. Top 10 Spring Jokes: If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflower’s bring?… Pilgrims! (Social Studies Jokes Rain Jokes)
  12. It’s funny how Cinco de Mayo always seems to fall on May 5.
  13. May 13th: Apple Pie Day Top 10 Apple Pie Jokes: Why did the waitress say when Rick Astley asked to hurry up his order of apple pie and vanilla ice cream?… I”m never gonna run around and dessert you.” (Music Jokes & Dessert Jokes)
  14. Which crime fighter likes May the most?… Robin. (Batman Jokes)
  15. May 14th Mother’s Day Jokes Top 10 Mother’s Day Jokes: What did the mother rope say to her child?…“Don’t be knotty.”
  16. May 15th: Chocolate Chip Cookie Day: When should you take a chocolate chip cookie to the doctor?… When it feels crummy. 
  17. May 17th Bike to Work Day Jokes: How did the author of Tom Sawyer learn to ride a bicycle?… With Twain ing wheels. (Mark Twain Quotes & Bike Jokes)
  18. May 18th International Astronomy Day: How do you memorialize the death of a planet?… You write an orbituary. (Memorial Day Jokes & Cemetery Jokes)
  19. May 20th World Bee Day Jokes: What is the smartest insect?… A spelling bee. (Bee Jokes)
  20. May 20th Preakness Stakes Jokes: What do you call a horse that can’t lose the Preakness?… Sherbet. (Ice Cream Jokes)
  21. May 20th Armed Forces Day: What is the ideal day to celebrate Armed Forces Day?… March forth! (March Jokes)
  22. What May flowers grow on faces?… Tulips (Two-lips) (Flower Jokes)
  23. May 23rd World Turtle Day JokesTop 10 Turtle Jokes: What do you get if cross a Turtle with a Giraffe?… A Turtle-Neck (Giraffe Jokes for Kids & Fall Jokes)
  24. Who conducts the spring orchestra?… May-stro. (365 Music Jokes)
  25. NCAA Lacrosse Final Four Weekend: Lacrosse Jokes: What is a lacrosse players favorite type of car?… A dodge! (Car Jokes)
  26. Why did the defensive lacrosse player cross the road?… To get to the other slide. (Car Jokes)
  27. May 28th: National Hamburger Day Jokes: What did Mr. and Mrs. Hamburger name their daughter?…. Patty.
  28. May 29th Indy 500 Jokes: What don’t drivers eat before a big race?… In case they get indy-gestion.
  29. What month always asks questions and permission?… May!
  30. May 30th: Memorial Day Jokes for Kids: My great-grandfather fought with Napoleon, my grandfather fought with the French and my father fought with the Americans…. Your relatives couldn’t get along with anyone, could they? (Grandparent Jokes & Army Jokes)
  31. May 31st: What comes at the end of May?… the letter Y!
  32. Who’s the most important person in a spring wedding?… The MAYtron of honor. (Wedding Jokes)
  33. Which state loves spring the most?… May-ne. (Maine Jokes)
  34. Bike to Work Week: Why won’t any of Colorado’s bicycles stand up by themselves?… They are two tired. (Colorado Jokes)
  35. Bike to Work Week: How does a Snowman get to school?… By icicle. (Snowman Jokes & Bike Jokes)
  36. Bike to Work Week: What does a turtle need to ride a bike?… A shellmet. (Turtle Jokes)
  37. Friday the 13th Jokes: When Jason Voorhees tells a joke…. it kills! (Cemetery Jokes)
  38. Bike to Work Week: What do you call a teddy bear who rides a bike everywhere?… Schwinnie The Pooh! (Winnie the Pooh Jokes)
  39. Did you know bees become indecisive after April?… They become maybees. (May Jokes & Bee Jokes)
  40. What month of the year is the shortest?… May (only 3 letters)
  41. What season is it when you are on a trampoline in May?… Spring-time. (Spring Jokes)
  42. The new backyard grill I got for Memorial Day weekend is actually assembled in America… The box of components are imported, but I had to put it together myself in my garage.
  43. A turtle walked in a restaurant but the owner grabbed it and threw it out… It came back 5 months later and yelled: get your hands off me.
  44. What is a cow’s favorite holiday?… Moomorial day. (Cow Jokes)
  45. The Memorial Day Weekend was coming up, and the nursery school teacher took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism. “We live in a great country,” she said. “One of the things we should be happy about is that, in this country, we are all free.” One little boy came walking up to her from the back of the room. He stood with his hands on his hips and said. . . .“I’m not free. I’m four.” (Elementary School Jokes)
  46. What is spring’s favorite type of pickles?… Daffo-dills! (Pickle Jokes & Flower Jokes)
  47. Someone told me today is June 1st. But they May be wrong. (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  48. How excited was the gardener about spring?… So excited he wet his plants.
  49. Which month can’t make a decision?… MAYbe. (May Jokes)
  50. What goes up when May rain comes down?… An umbrella.
  51. If January threw a parade would February March?… No but April May! (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  52. Why doesn’t Conor McGregor like fighting in the spring?… Because of Mayweather. (Boxing Jokes & May Jokes)
  53. How do you know flowers are friendly?… They always have new buds!
  54. Don’t June know it’s May?… I can’t December. (December Jokes)
  55. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about May?
  56. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good May knock-knock joke?
  57. Don’t June know it’s May? (June Jokes)
  58. Teacher Appreciation Day Jokes: How did the geography student drown?… His grades were below C-level.(Geography Jokes for Teachers)
  59. May 30th: Top 10 Memorial Day JokesWhat was General Washington’s favorite tree?…The infan-tree! (4th of July Jokes for Kids)
  60. What is the shortest month of the year?… M-A-Y.
  61. Why are oak trees so forgiving?… Every May they “turn over a new leaf.”
  62. What do you call a striker playing a May match?… A spring forward. (Soccer Jokes & April Jokes)
  63. Who’s the most important person in a spring wedding?… The MAYd of honor. (Wedding Jokes)
  64. When do monkeys fall from the sky?… During APE-ril showers.
  65. What starts growing in the spring and then goes POP?… May-ze
  66. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good May knock knock jokes? (June Jokes Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  67. Which cute mouse loves the spring?… Maysy.
  68. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best May jokes.
  69. Why is spring a great time to start a gardening business?… Because it’s the season when you can really rake in the cash.
  70. How do you make a waterbed bouncier?… Fill it with spring water.
  71. Me and my childhood crush are marrying next year… Hers is in January and mine in May! (Wedding Jokes & Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  72. What does winter fat turn into?… Spring rolls.
  73. Did you know bees become indecisive after April 30th?… They become maybees. (Bee Jokes)
  74. What Valentine’s message can you find in a honeycomb?… Bee mine. (Funny Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  75. What did one bee say to the other?… I love bee-ing with you, honey! (Funny Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  76. A man walks up to the counter. “Two pairs of underwear please.” The man behind the counter looks at him in disbelief. “Only two pairs of underwear?” “Yup. I wear one while the other is in the wash.” The man behind the counter looks at him in disgust, then rings out his order. A second man walks in. “5 pairs of underwear please.” “Only 5 eh?” “Yeah, I wear one for every weekday, then go commando all the weekend.” The man behind the counter shakes his head. “Well, you’re better then the last guy!” A third man walks in. “7 pairs of underwear please.” “Finally, a man who knows hygiene!” “Yes, I do try. One for every day, and I do my laundry on Sunday.” At the end of the day, a fourth man walks into the underwear store. “12 pairs of underwear please.” “Wow! You must be really clean!” The man smiles. “Yup, that’s me! Err, hang on, let me see if I counted right. January, February, March, April…” (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  77. Can February March? … No, but April May! (Jokes for Each Month)
  78. Why does Manny Pacquiao hate spring?… Because it has May weather in it! (Boxing Jokes & May Jokes)
  79. My wife’s panties are labelled ‘Monday’, ‘Tuesday’, ‘Wednesday’ … My underwear is labelled ‘January’, February’, ‘March’… (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  80. Why was the bee mad?… You’d be mad too if someone stole your honey and nectar. (Bee Jokes)
  81. How did the bee brush his hair?… With a honeycomb.
  82. Why couldn’t the flower ride its bike?… It lost its petals.
  83. Does February like March?… No, but April May.
  84. What do you get when two plants kiss?… Tulips!
  85. What goes up when the rain goes down?… Umbrellas.
  86. What falls but never gets hurt?… The rain!
  87. What did the tree say to spring?… What a re-leaf!
  88. What did the dirt say to the rain?… If this keeps up my name will be mud.
  89. Why couldn’t the flower ride its bike?… It lost its petals.
  90. What did the big flower say to the little one?… You’re really growing, bud!
  91. What’s a baby chick’s favorite plant?… Egg-plants!
  92. What is the best flower for a boy to give his mom?… A son-flower!
  93. What type of bird should you never take to the bank?… A rob-in.
  94. What kind of garden does a baker have?… A flour garden.
  95. Why did the bird go to the hospital?… It needed tweet-ment!
  96. Can bees fly in the rain?… Not without their yellow jackets!
  97. Why did one bee tease the other bee?… Because he was acting like a bay-bee!
  98. What do you call a girl with a frog on her head? Lily!
  99. How does the sun listen to music?… On the ray-dio.
  100. Why did the farmer bury all his money?… To make his soil rich.
  101. Why are frogs so happy?… They eat whatever bugs them.
  102. What kind of bow can’t be tied or untied?… A rainbow.
  103. Do you know about April 1st?… Yes, I’m fooly aware of it!
  104. Why did the gardener plant a seed in the pond?… To grow a water-melon.
  105. Why did the worm cross the ruler?… To become an inch worm.
  106. Does February like March?… No, but April May.
  107. What’s a baby chick’s favorite food?… Eggplant
  108. What’s a tree’s favorite drink?… Rootbeer!
  109. Why is the letter A like a flower?… A “b” comes after it! (Bee Jokes)
  110. Why was the baby strawberry sad?… His mom was in a jam!
  111. What do you call a well-dressed king of the jungle?… A dandy lion!
  112. What flower does everyone have on their face?… Two-lips!
  113. What kind of book does a rabbit like at bedtime?… One with a hoppy ending!
  114. What happens when you tell an egg a joke?…. It cracks up.
  115. What did summer say to spring?… Help – I’m about to fall!
  116. What month always asks questions and permission?… May!
  117. Why is Yoda such a good gardener?… He has a green thumb!
  118. What do gardeners wear on their legs?… Garden hose!
  119. What do you call a bear caught in a spring shower?… A drizzly bear! How do sheep celebrate Memorial Day? With a baa-baa cue!

May 1st: May Day Jokes for Kids

  1. Did you hear the joke about Labor Day?… It doesn’t work for me!
  2. Father: Do you know, most people don’t have to work today, because it’s Labour Day. Son: If people are not working, shouldn’t we call today ‘No-Labour Day?’
  3. One seventh of your life is spent on Monday.  However, the only person to get his work done by Friday was Robinson Crusoe.
  4. If a train station is where the train stops, and a bus station is where the bus stops, what is a work station?
  5. I asked a little girl do you know why we get out of school for Labor Day? She was very enthusiastic to say “It is a time when all the mommys of the world go into labor”
  6. If today is labor day, how many babies were born?
  7. My first job was in an orange juice factory, but I couldn’t concentrate on the same old boring rind, so I got canned.

May 4th: May the 4th Be With You Jokes

  1. Why did the angry Jedi cross the road?… To get to the Dark Side.
  2. When did Anakin’s Jedi masters know he was leaning towards the dark side?… In the Sith Grade. (180 School Jokes)
  3. What do you call a pirate droid?… Argh2-D2 (Teach Like a Pirate is a great book for teachers! & Top Pirate Jokes)
  4. How do Ewoks communicate over long distances?… With Ewokie Talkies
  5. Where does Princess Leia go shopping for clothing and such?… At the Darth Maul, of course. (Black Friday Jokes)

May 5th: Cinco De Mayo Jokes: Cinco De May Jokes for Kids

  1. What do you call cheese that is not yours?… NA Cho cheese (180 School Jokes)
  2. What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?… Brrrr- itos.
  3. Why can’t you trust burritos to keep a secret?… They tend to spill the beans.
  4. What does a depressed tortilla say?… I don’t wanna taco ’bout it.
  5. Have you heard the joke about the tortilla?… It was corny.

Mother’s Day Jokes for Kids

  1. What did the mother rope say to her child?…“Don’t be knotty.”
  2. What did the digital clock say to its mother?… “Look, Ma! No hands!”
  3. What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?… It’s time to go to sweep!
  4. Mom, what is it like to have the best child in the world?… I don’t know, go ask your grandparents. (Grandparent Jokes)
  5. Larry’s mother had four children. Three were named North, South and West. What was her other child’s name? … Larry. (Geography Jokes for Kids)

Memorial Day Jokes for Kids

  1. Where did the General put his armies?… In his sleevies. (get it his sleeves)?
  2. What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for?… Liberty!
  3. What was General Washington’s favorite tree?…The infan-tree! (Top 40 4th of July Jokes)
  4. Teacher “More than 200 years ago, our forefathers defeated the British in the Revolutionary War.”… Student “ Wow! They must have been pretty strong, four men defeating a whole army!” (Top 40 4th of July Jokes)
  5. Why didn’t the Confederate soldier want to go to the baseball game?… He heard the Yankees were playing. ? (Baseball Jokes for Kids)