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Indy 500 Jokes

  1. What don’t drivers eat before a big race?… In case they get indy-gestion.
  2. Do Indy 500 race drivers stop and take a nap?… Yeah, when they are getting tired. (Napping Jokes)
  3. What did the ace car say to the letter R?… Come and join me!
  4. What do you get when you run in front of a car?… TIRED (Marathon Jokes)
  5. What do you get when you run behind a car?… EXHAUSTED (Boston Marathon Jokes)
  6. Why are penguins good race drivers?… Because they’re always in the pole position! (NASCAR Jokes for Kids & Car Jokes)
  7. I’m not a racist, I just believe that…the Indy 500 is superior to all other races.
  8. If Harrison Ford’s son were in the Navy, what would be his favorite city?… Indy-Annapolis
  9. Why do hipsters love Raiders of the Lost Ark?… Because it’s the first Indy movie.
  10. What is a race car drivers least favorite color?… Yellow (Caution Flag)(NASCAR Jokes)
  11. What is a race car drivers least favorite color?… a Checkered Flag(NASCAR Jokes)
  12. What do you get when you run in front of a car?… TIRED (Marathon Jokes for Kids)
  13. What do you get when you run behind a car?… EXHAUSTED (Marathon Jokes for Kids Track & Field Jokes for Kids)
  14. What don’t drivers eat before a big race?… In case they get indy-gestion.
  15. Which island of the coast of Africa does Dale Ernhart Jr. like to go camping?… MadaNASCAR! (Camping Jokes for Kids & World Geography Jokes)
  16. Why aren’t hot dog ads allowed in NASCAR?… because no-one else would be able to ketchup. (Car Jokes & Hot Dog Jokes)
  17. What did the ace car say to the letter R?… Come and join me! (26 Lessons for the Letter of the Week A-Z)
  18. What’s the difference between a presidential election and a NASCAR race?… In NASCAR they wear their sponsors on their shirts. (Election Jokes)
  19. Car Jokes: Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best car jokes.
  20. My son didn’t expect me to pay for his share of the prom night limo rental, but he asked me anyway… It was a bit of a stretch. (Dad Jokes & Car Jokes)
  21. What was the snapping turtle doing on the highway?… About 1 mile per hour.
  22. Why did the defensive lacrosse player cross the road?… To get to the other slide. (Lacrosse Jokes)
  23. How are defensive lacrosse players like a car?… Midfielders are always told to ride them.
  24. What is a lacrosse players favorite type of car?… A dodge! (Lacrosse Jokes)
  25. What do you call road-tripping to the eclipse?… Going where the sun don’t shine. (Solar Eclipse Jokes)
  26. A student goes to the tuxedo shop, there’s a long line…. He goes to the limousine shop, there’s a long line… When prom rolls around, he goes to get a drink, but there’s no punch line. (Prom Jokes)
  27. You are locked inside a car with nothing but a lacrosse stick. How do you get out?… Unlock the door, of course!
  28. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about cars?
  29. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good car knock-knock joke?
  30. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good car knock knock jokes?(June Jokes Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  31. I was gonna have a baby at the hospital downtown but the week I was due, all the nurses quit their job and bought Corvettes…. I guess they were having a midwife crisis. (Mother’s Day Jokes & Baby Jokes)
  32. How did the penguin pass its driving test?.. It winged it!
  33. What’s a Jedi’s favorite car?… A Toy-Yoda.
  34. Why wasn’t the car able to go to prom?… It didn’t have good at-tire! (Prom Jokes)
  35. What is a truck driver’s favorite song?… Interstate Love Song by Stone Temple Pirates.
  36. Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road?… To get to the Dark Side. (Car Jokes & Walking Jokes)
  37. Why are penguins good race drivers?… Because they’re always in the pole position! (NASCAR Jokes for Kids & Car Jokes)
  38. What’s a gas pump’s favorite holiday?… April Fuel’s Day! (April Fools’s Day Jokes)
  39. Simple advice: If you drink, don’t drive… And don’t even putt.
  40. Welcome to Rhode Island! Enjoy it, because you’ll be through it in 40 minutes.” (Rhode Island Jokes)
  41. Speaking of driving… Rhode Island roads are adventurous because no one knows how to drive.
  42. One of the best things about Daylight Saving Time is that the clock in my car will finally be correct again. (Daylight Savings Jokes)
  43. What did Saint Patrick say when he drove all the snakes out of Ireland?… Everyone got seat belts on back there?
  44. What time is it when you find an elephant in your car?… Time to get a new car
  45. What’s the most popular automobile brand for presidents?… Lincoln. (Presidents Day Jokes)
  46. What do bus drivers put on their pancakes for breakfast?… Traffic jam! (Car Jokes)
  47. Why did pi fail its driving test?… Because it didn’t know when to stop. (Pi Day Jokes)
  48. What do uber drivers put on their pancakes for breakfast?… Traffic jam! (Car Jokes)
  49. What do you call a groundhog who drives in the center of the road?… A road hog. (Ground Hog Day Jokes)
  50. How did the Grinch get home from the Christmas party?… He took a Who-ber. (Grinch Jokes)
  51. My sister bet me a $1,000,000 that I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti, you should have seen her face when I drove pasta. (Spaghetti Jokes)
  52. Did you hear that the spaghetti noodle got into a car accident?… Paramedics tried to save him, but in the end, he pasta-way. (Pasta Jokes & Spaghetti Jokes)
  53. Welcome to Rhode Island! Enjoy it… because it ends in 40 feet. (Rhode Island Jokes)
  54. Did you hear about the corn that got run over by a car?… It was creamed corn. (Corn Jokes)
  55. I got gas today for $1.39… Unfortunately, it was at Taco Bell. (Taco Jokes)
  56. I really hate having to wait till September to drive my new car… Shouldn’t have bought an autumnobile. (Fall Jokes & September Jokes)
  57. Where do peanut drivers go to fill their tanks?…  The Shell station! (Peanut Jokes)
  58. What was the elephant doing on the freeway?… About 5 M.P. H. (Elephant Jokes)
  59. On the day I received my learner’s permit, my father agreed to take me out for a driving lesson. With a big grin, he hopped in behind the driver’s seat. “Why aren’t you sitting up front on the passenger’s side?” I asked. “Honey, I’ve been waiting for this ever since you were a little girl,” Dad replied. “Now it’s my turn to sit back here and kick the seat.” (Father’s Day Jokes)
  60. What do bus drivers put on their pancakes for breakfast?… Traffic jam! (Car Jokes)
  61. What do uber drivers put on their pancakes for breakfast?… Traffic jam! (Car Jokes)
  62. Today, on my way to work, I hit a guy riding a skateboard… On a lighter note, I’m selling a lightly used skateboard. (Skateboarding Jokes)
  63. What do you get when two giraffes collide?… A giraffic jam. (Giraffe Jokes)
  64. Why did the ice cream truck break down?… Because of the Rocky Road. (Ice Cream Jokes)
  65. “I had a dream about a muffler last night … I woke up exhausted!” Dad (Father’s Day Jokes)
  66. What do you get if you walk behind a car?… Exhausted! (Walking Jokes)
  67. I don’t have a Carbon Footprint… Because I drive everywhere! (Environment Jokes)
  68. I got hit by a car on my way to my high school graduation… The worst part is, I had the right of passage. (High School Graduation Jokes)
  69. What kind of vehicle did Watto drive?… A wattomobile. (May the 4th Be With You Jokes)
  70. How many NCAA Final Four basketball players does it take to change a light bulb?… Only one. But he gets money, a car, and three credit hours for it. (Final Four Jokes)
  71. Yesterday I was walking, and I was wondering why everyone always told me to look both ways before crossing a street… And then it hit me. (Walking Jokes)
  72. Why did the pencil get a speeding ticket?… He had a lead foot! (Pencil Jokes)
  73. What is a lacrosse players favorite type of car?… A dodge! (Lacrosse Jokes)
  74. Why was the car not allowed to play rugby?… It only had one boot. (Rugby Jokes)
  75. What is a the Cat in the Hat’s favorite brand of car?… The Catillac. (Cat Jokes & Dr. Seuss Jokes)
  76. Man: “Honey, on this Valentine’s Day, I want to tell you something… I’m not rich like Jack. I don’t have a mansion like Russell. I don’t have a Porsche like Martin. But I do love you and I want to marry you.” Woman: “Oh, dear, I love you too! What was that you said about Martin? (Funny Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  77. Where do race cars go swimming?…  In a car pool. (Swimming Jokes)
  78. It’s getting real bad here in California. I just got robbed at the gas station. I called the cops and they asked if I knew who did it. “It was pump #5,” I replied. (Police Jokes)
  79. How do leaves get from place to place?… With autumn-mobiles. (Fall Jokes & Tree Jokes)
  80. Why did Spider-Man borrow his parent’s car?… To take it out for a spin. (Spiderman Jokes for Kids)
  81. Pi had its driver’s license revoked because it didn’t know when to stop. (101 Pi Day Jokes)
  82. Why shouldn’t people from Texas be allowed to drive?… Because they’re always Texan and driving. (Texas Jokes)
  83. I got hit by a car on my way to my graduation… The worst part is, I had the right of passage. (Graduation Jokes)
  84. What do you tell a hitchhiker on Leap Day?… Hop In. (Leap Year Jokes)
  85. Who does Santa call when his sleigh breaks down?… The Abominable Towman. (Car Jokes)
  86. What kind of keys do kids like to carry?… Chocolate Chip Cookies! (Chocolate Chip Cookie Jokes)
  87. How do you lift a frozen car?… With a Jack Frost. (Christmas Jokes)
  88. Why did the middle school student stare at the automobile’s radio?…. He wanted to watch a car-tune. (Middle School Jokes)
  89. If you want to avoid traffic this Memorial Day then avoid traveling on memorial day weekend.
  90. I’ve got the deal already worked out – this Black Friday, I’m getting a new Lexus for my wife I think she’s going to be really surprised – but from my perspective, it’s an awesome trade. (Black Friday Jokes)
  91. Why aren’t hot dog ads allowed in NASCAR?… because no-one else would be able to ketchup. (Hot Dog Jokes NASCAR Jokes)
  92. Patient to nurse, “I feel run down.” Nurse, “ What makes you say that?” Patient, “The tire marks across my legs. (Nurse Jokes)
  93. Why did the physicist throw the stop sign into the ocean?… He was studying sign waves. (Ocean Jokes Physics Jokes)
  94. What type of cars do elves drive?… Toy-otas. (Car Jokes Elf Jokes)
  95. What do you call a groundhog that drives recklessly?… A road hog. (Groundhog Day Jokes)
  96. You might be an Alaskan if… You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car. (Alaska Jokes)
  97. You might be an Alaskan if… You have more miles on your snow blower than your car. (Alaska Jokes)
  98. If you want to avoid traffic this Memorial Day then avoid traveling on memorial day weekend. (Memorial Day Jokes)
  99. A woman locked her car key in her car, so she asked a passerby for help. The passerby took off his pants, rolled it into a ball and rubbed it on the car door. The car door springs open. Amazed, the woman asked the passerby how did he do it, to which he replied:”It’s simple, these are khaki pants” (Car Jokes)
  100. Before I get into Spring Break traffic, I cover my car in Mucinex…It really thins out the congestion. (Car Jokes)
  101. Why was the giraffe late?… Because he got caught in a giraffic jam!