Boston Marathon Jokes

by | Apr 14, 2022 | Education, Latest News, School Jokes

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  1. What is the #1 marathon for cardiologists?… The Boston Marathon. They love Heartbreak Hill. (Doctor Jokes)
  2. I don’t win marathons because I’m lucky… I win because I take public transportation, just take like Rosie Ruiz. (Car Jokes)
  3. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you name the Massachusetts holiday that coincides with the Boston Marathon? (Canoe Jokes & Patriots’ Day Jokes)
  4. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you believe the 2024 Boston Marathon Women’s finish? Hellen Obiri (2:22:37) battled until the end to beat Sharon Lokedi (02:22:45)(Canoe Jokes & Patriots’ Day Jokes)
  5. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you believe the top 3 women in 2024 Boston Marathon were from the same country? (Canoe Jokes & Patriots’ Day Jokes)
  6. What music is blaring at the most difficult part of the Boston Marathon?… Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers at Heartbreak Hill. Stevie Nicks can be heard singing “Stop Dragging My Heart Around.” (365 Music Jokes)
  7. Although the world is more accepting, I refuse to accept some races… That Boston Marathon is awful. I HATE Heartbreak Hill.
  8. Warning: Police are on the lookout for an overweight man who did not pay his entrance fee to the Boston Marathon… He is believed to be still on the run. (Police Jokes)
  9. What is the worst US city to run a marathon?… Boston. It is the height of pollen season and it is in Mass “Achoo” setts.
  10. Boston Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.
  11. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you tell how many Boston Marathons have been run? (Canoe Jokes) 
  12. A book never written: “The Boston Marathon” by Will E. Makit. (Summer Olympic Jokes & Marathon Jokes)
  13. Where do cardiologists like to watch the Boston Marathon?… Heartbreak Hill. (Doctor Jokes)
  14. Do you want to hear a joke about the Boston Marathon?… Never mind. I’ll never finish it.
  15. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Kenya… Kenya who?… Kenya name the country with great marathon runners? (World Geography Jokes)
  16. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you tell me the 1st year the Boston Marathon was run? (Canoe Jokes) 
  17. What is the #1 hotel for runners of the Boston Marathon?… Heartbreak Hotel. (365 Music Jokes)
  18. What do Boston Marathon runners do when they forget something?… They jog their memory. (Psychology Memory Lessons)
  19. Did you hear about the Boston Marathon race between the lettuce and the tomato?… The lettuce was a “head” and the tomato was trying to “ketchup!” (Lettuce Jokes & Ketchup Jokes)
  20. If Boston Marathon runners get athlete’s foot what do astronauts get?… Mistletoe? (Christmas Jokes)
  21. What do you get when you run behind the lead Boston Marathon car?… EXHAUSTED (NASCAR Jokes)
  22. What does a runner drink when she is in last place at the Boston Marathon?… Ketchup. (Ketchup Jokes)
  23. Why can’t you take a nap during the Boston Marathon race?… Because if you snooze, you loose! (Napping Jokes)
  24. How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run the Boston Marathon?… They’ll tell you.
  25. Why couldn’t the dog run in the Boston Marathon?… He wasn’t a part of the human race! (Dog Jokes)
  26. I was watching the Boston Marathon one year, and I saw two runners in costumes. One of them was dressed as a chicken and the other dressed as an egg. I thought:…”This’ll be interesting.” (Egg Jokes & Chicken Jokes)
  27. What does the men’s winner of the Boston Marathon lose?… His breath.
  28. I watch the Boston Marathon every year with my best friend. This year her boyfriend decided to join us, but he just couldn’t understand why we were laughing… It was a running joke. (Track and Field Jokes)
  29. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you tell me the 1st year the Boston Marathon added a non-binary division? (Canoe Jokes) 
  30. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you tell me the Boston Marathon course record for the Men’s Division? (Canoe Jokes)
  31. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you tell me the Boston Marathon course record for the Women’s Division? (Canoe Jokes)
  32. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you tell me the Boston Marathon course record for the Men’s Wheelchair Division? (Canoe Jokes)
  33. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you tell me the Boston Marathon course record for the Non-Binary Division? (Canoe Jokes)
  34. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you tell me the Boston Marathon course record for the Women’s Wheelchair Division? (Canoe Jokes)
  35. Did you hear about the Boston Marathon runner who ran for three hours but only moved two feet?… He only had two feet! (Biology Jokes for Teachers)
  36. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you tell me the town that starts the Boston Marathon? (Canoe Jokes)
  37. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you tell me where the finish line is for the Boston Marathon? (Canoe Jokes)
  38. I watch the Boston Marathon every year with my best friend. This year his girlfriend decided to join us, but she just couldn’t understand why we were laughing…. It was a running joke. (Track and Field Jokes)
  39. What does the women’s winner of the Boston Marathon lose?… Her breath.
  40. How does the Grinch complete the Boston Marathon?… grinch by grinch. (Grinch Jokes)
  41. I did a Hobbit marathon yesterday…. I ran 26 miles dressed up as Bilbo Baggins! (Lord of the Rings Jokes)
  42. I did a Lord of the Rings marathon yesterday. I ran 26 miles dressed up as Gandalf! (Lord of the Rings Jokes)
  43. I did a Lord of the Rings marathon yesterday. I ran 26 miles dressed up as Samwise Gamgee! (Lord of the Rings Jokes)
  44. What does the wheelchair winner of the Boston Marathon lose?… Her breath.
  45. What should you say to someone running in the Boston Marathon from Ireland?… Irish you luck.
  46. I did a Lord of the Rings marathon yesterday…. I ran 26 miles dressed up as Frodo Baggins! (Lord of the Rings Jokes)
  47. Did you hear about the Boston Marathon runner who ran for three hours but only moved two feet?… He only had two feet! (Biology Jokes for Kids)
  48. What do a dentist and a marathon coach have in common?… They both use drills! (Dentist Jokes)
  49. I had a Boston Marathon accident last spring… Now it has become a running joke. (Track and Field Jokes & Marathon Jokes)
  50. How do crazy Boston Marathon runners go through the forest?… They take the psycho path. (Psychology Memory Lessons & Psychology Jokes)
  51. Who is the fastest runner of all time?… Adam, because he came first in the human race!
  52. How do you know your a dedicated runner?… When your treadmill has more miles on it than your car.
  53. How do you know when you’ve married a running enthusiast?… When you have more running clothes than regular clothes in your laundry pile.
  54. What do you get when you run in front of the pace car?… TIRED (NASCAR Jokes)
  55. What do you call a competitive runner who just broke up with his girlfriend?… Homeless.
  56. What kind of running shoes are made from banana skins?… Slippers.
  57. What should you say to someone running a St. Patty’s Day road race?… Irish you luck.
  60. If marathon runners get athlete’s foot what do astronauts get?… Mistletoe? (Top Christmas Jokes)
  61. Who is the fastest runner of all time?… Adam, because he came first in the human race! (Biology Jokes for Kids)
  62. What do marathon runners do when they forget something?… They jog their memory. (Psychology Memory Lessons)
  63. How do you know when you’ve married a running enthusiast?… When you have more running clothes than regular clothes in your laundry pile.
  64. Why can’t you take a nap during a marathon race?… Because if you snooze, you loose!
  65. What does a runner drink when she is in last place?… Ketchup.
  66. What kind of running shoes are made from banana skins?… Slippers.
  67. If twenty monkeys run after one banana, what time is it?… Twenty after one!
  68. What do you call a free treadmill?… Outside.
  69. Why do dogs run in circles?… Because its hard to run in squares!
  70. Why do marathon runners go jogging early in the morning?… They want to finish before their brain figures out what they’re doing.
  71. Why did the vegetarians stop running cross country?… They didn’t like meets! (Track Jokes)
  72. What race is never run?… A swimming race. (Swimming Jokes)