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Marathon Jokes for Kids
- What’s the fastest liquid on earth?… Milk. It’s pasteurized before you can see it. (Milk Jokes & Cow Jokes)
- What did the triple jumper say to the track & field team on January 1st?… Hoppy New Year! (365 Sports Jokes & New Year’s Day Jokes)
- What is a runner’s favorite movie?… The Green Mile. (Movie Jokes)
- What is the longest word in the English Dictionary?… Smiles because there is a mile between the first letter and the last. ((Smile Jokes & Track Jokes)
- I had a track accident last spring… Now it has become a running joke. (Track and Field Jokes & Marathon Jokes)
- “You can’t run through a campsite. You can only ran…because it’s past tents.” (Camping Jokes)
- At one Army base, the annual trip to the rifle range had been cancelled for the second year in a row, but the semi-annual physical fitness test was still on as planned. One soldier mused: “Does it bother anyone else that the Army doesn’t seem to care how well we can shoot, but they are extremely interested in how fast we can run?” (Veterans Day Jokes)
- Which takes longer to run: from first to second base or from second to third base?… From second to third base, because there is a shortstop in the middle. (Baseball Jokes)
- Which goal keeper can jump higher than a crossbar?… All of them, a crossbar can’t jump! (Hockey Jokes for Kids)
- What did Timon say when Simba out-ran him?… You’re fit – for a King! (Lion King Jokes)
- Did you hear about the two silkworms that were in a race?… They wound up in a tie. (Worm Jokes)
- What do you call an ant running away with another ant?… Antelope. (Wedding Jokes & Ant Jokes)
- Why can any hamburger run the mile in under four minutes?… Because it’s a FAST food! (Hamburger Jokes)
- What do you call a hot dog race?… Wiener takes all. (Hot Dog Jokes)
- What’s Santa Claus’s favorite track & field event?… North Pole-vaulting!
- What does Santa say at the start of a race?… Ready, set, Ho! Ho! Ho! (Christmas Jokes)
- How did the barber win the race?… He took a short cut. (Barber Jokes)
- Why did the lettuce beat the carrot in a race?… Because it was a head!
- What sport are the eggs good at?… Running! (Egg Jokes for Kids)
- What do you get when you run in front of a car?… TIRED (Marathon Jokes for Kids & NASCAR Jokes)
What do you get when you run behind a car?… EXHAUSTED (Marathon Jokes for Kids & NASCAR Jokes)
- Two hikers making their way through bear country come around a corner to spot their worst fear: a grizzly. Without pausing a fraction of a second, one of the hikers takes off running, prompting the bear to charge. Forced into action, the second hiker turns and sprints after the first. “What were you thinking?” he shouts. “You’re not supposed to run in a situation like this. You can’t outrun a bear!” “I don’t have to outrun the bear,” his friend shouts back over his shoulder. “I just have to outrun you.” (Camping Jokes for Kids)
- Why did the turtle cross the main road?… To get to the Shell station. He was running on empty! (Turtle Jokes for Kids)
- What vegetable do you eat when you want to be very fast?… Hustle sprouts!
- What would you get if you crossed a track athlete and the Invisible Man?… Running like no one has ever seen.
- What did the mummy track coach say at the end of practice?… “Let’s wrap this up!” (Top Halloween Jokes)
- Why was the skeleton always left out in a track meet?… Because he had no body to go with. (Top Halloween Jokes)
- Where do track athletes go to get a new uniform?… New Jersey (Top Geography Jokes & Top 500 Jokes for U.S. States)
- Why was Cinderella such a bad sprinter?… Her coach was a pumpkin.
- When is a track athlete like a judge?… When he sits on the bench.
- Why is a track meet the coolest place to be?… Because it’s full of fans.
- Did you hear about the javelin thrower who wore two jackets when she painted the house?… The instructions on the can said: “Put on two coats.”
- What did the hot dog say when it crossed the finish line?… “I’m a wiener!” (Hot Dog Jokes)
- What’s the problem with jogging on New Year’s Eve?… The ice falls out of your drinks. (New Year’s Eve Jokes)