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  1. What do you get if cross a Turtle with a Giraffe?… A Turtle-Neck (Giraffe Jokes for Kids & Fall Jokes)
  2. Why can’t a tortoise eat McDonald’s food?… Because, it is too slow for fast food! (Fast Food Jokes)
  3. Why did the turtle cross the main road?… To get to the Shell station. He was running on empty! (Track Jokes for Kids)
  4. What happens when your kids want to buy a tortoise?… You shell out a lot of money.
  5. What kind of photos does a turtle take?… Slowfies.
  6. How did the turtle get off his back?… He rocked and rolled! (Music Jokes)
  7. What do you get when you cross a turtle and a porcupine?… a slow-poke. (Porcupine Jokes for Kids)
  8. What’s red, white, blue, and green?… A patriotic turtle! (American Revolution Jokes)
  9. What did the turtle say to the surfing turtle?… You’re turtally wicked! (Surfing Jokes for Kids)
  10. What do turtles use to communicate?… A shellphone!
  11. What does a turtle do on it’s birthday?… It shellebrates! (Birthday Jokes)
  12. What kind of photos does a turtle take?… Shellfies.
  13. What do you call a truck-load of tortoises crashing into a train-load of terrapins?… a turtle disaster. (Train Jokes)
  14. Where do you send turtles who commit crimes?… To the shell-block. (Police Jokes)
  15. Why is turtle wax so expensive?… Because their ears are so small! (Biology Jokes for Kids)
  16. What happens when you bring a turtle to a party?… It becomes a shellebration.
  17. What did the cow say to the turtle?… Get a moove on! (Cow Jokes for Kids)
  18. What do you call a famous turtle?… A shellebrity.
  19. What is a Sea Turtles favorite sandwich?… Peanut butter and jellyfish. (Peanut Butter Jokes)
  20. What kind of turtles and are easy to see?… Green See Turtles. (Ocean Jokes for Kids)
  21. What happens when you get into fight with a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle?… You get shell shocked.
  22. What kind of jokes do sea turtles tell?… Shell-arious ones!
  23. What does a turtle need to ride a bike?… A shellmet. (Bike Jokes)
  24. What do you call a sea turtle that flies?… A shell-icopter!
  25. What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?… A slow-pork. (Pig Jokes for Kids)
  26. If a turtle loses it’s shell is it naked or homeless?
  27. What do turtles do when one of them has a birthday?… They have shell-a-bration! (Birthday Jokes)
  28. Why did the turtle cross the road?… To get to the shell station!
  29. What do you call a turtle with 6 feet?… A 6-foot turtle. (Biology Jokes for Kids)
  30. What does a turtle do during winter?… Sit by the fire and worm himself up. (Winter Jokes & Turtle Jokes)

PG-13

  1. What did turtle say to the taco?… My shell or yours? (Taco Jokes)