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Top Marathon Jokes

  1. I had a track accident last spring… Now it has become a running joke. (Track and Field Jokes & Marathon Jokes)
  2. Did you hear about the marathon runner who ran for three hours but only moved two feet?… He only had two feet! (Biology Jokes for Kids)
  3. Did you hear about the marathon race between the lettuce and the tomato?… The lettuce was a “head” and the tomato was trying to “ketchup”!
  4. If marathon runners get athlete’s foot what do astronauts get?… Mistletoe? (Top Christmas Jokes)
  5. Who is the fastest runner of all time?… Adam, because he came first in the human race! (Biology Jokes for Kids)
  6. What do marathon runners do when they forget something?… They jog their memory. (Psychology Memory Lessons)
  7. How do you know you’re a dedicated runner?… When your treadmill has more miles on it than your car.
  8. How do you know when you’ve married a running enthusiast?… When you have more running clothes than regular clothes in your laundry pile.
  9. What do you get when you run in front of a car?… TIRED (NASCAR Jokes)
  10. What do you get when you run behind a car?… EXHAUSTED (NASCAR Jokes)
  11. Why can’t you take a nap during a marathon race?… Because if you snooze, you loose!
  12. What does a runner drink when she is in last place?… Ketchup.
  13. What kind of running shoes are made from banana skins?… Slippers.
  14. If twenty monkeys run after one banana, what time is it?… Twenty after one!
  15. What do you call a free treadmill?… Outside.
  16. Why do dogs run in circles?… Because its hard to run in squares!
  17. Why do marathon runners go jogging early in the morning?… They want to finish before their brain figures out what they’re doing.
  18. Why did the vegetarians stop running cross country?… They didn’t like meets! (Track Jokes)
  19. What race is never run?… A swimming race. (Swimming Jokes)
  20. What do a dentist and a track coach have in common?… They both use drills! (Dentist Jokes)