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  1. Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best biology jokes for teachers.
  2. So I was watching Lord of the Rings with my dad… When I mentioned Legolas he asks, “so did he lose both his legs?” (Dad Jokes & Biology Jokes for Teachers)
  3. Did you hear about the Boston Marathon runner who ran for three hours but only moved two feet?… He only had two feet!
  4. What do you do if a principal rolls her eyes at you?…. Pick them up and roll them back to her! (Principal Jokes)
  5. What did the arrogant sunglasses say to the nose?… “I’m above you.” (Sunglasses Jokes)
  6. Voldemort: Why so sirius? Sirius Black: Why so nosy?
  7. If there’s a bee in my hand, what’s in my eye?… Beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder. (Bee Jokes)
  8. Why didn’t the clock work?… It needed a hand. (Daylight Savings Jokes)
  9. What flowers grow on faces?… Tulips (Two-lips)! (Spring Jokes for Teachers Flower Jokes)
  10. What do you find in an empty nose?… fingerprints.
  11. Thankfully, someone created an online resource for everyone who suffered retinal damage watching the solar eclipse… It truly is a site for sore eyes. (Solar Eclipse Jokes)
  12. Why shouldn’t you tell a secret in a cornfield?… Because the corn has ears. (Corn Jokes)
  13. What did the skeleton drive to the figure skating competition?… A Zam-bony. (Figure Skating Jokes)
  14. Did you hear about the lacrosse player who broke his elbow?… It was rather humerus. (Lacrosse Jokes)
  15. Why do penguins wear glasses?… To help their ice-sight.
  16. What has ears but can’t hear a thing?… A cornfield. (Corn Jokes)
  17. Why is corn such a good listener?… Because it’s all ears! (Corn Jokes)
  18. What did The Dark Lord envy from Harry?… His nose! (Harry Potter Jokes)
  19. Why doesn’t Voldemort have glasses?… Nobody nose. (Harry Potter Jokes)
  20. George Weasley’s favorite line from Shakespeare… “Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears.” (Harry Potter Jokes)
  21. Why is Mad-Eye Moody such a bad professor?… Because he can’t control his pupils. (Harry Potter Jokes)
  22. What’s a bee’s favorite body part?… Their hon-knees. (Bee Jokes & Honey Jokes)
  23. Hand. Hand. River. Dirt. Gollum. Hobbits. Pockets. Pockets. Finger. Envelope. Fire. Hand. Neck. Neck. Finger. Hobbits. Neck. Neck. Neck. Pocket. Finger. LAVA… The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, from the perspective of the ring. (Movie Jokes & 101 Lord of the Rings Jokes)
  24. Why did the teacher stand on her left foot during the New Year’s Eve countdown?… So she start the New Year on the right foot. (New Year’s Eve Jokes for Teachers)
  25. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about biology?
  26. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good biology knock-knock joke?
  27. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good biology knock knock jokes? (June Jokes Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  28. Why is Valentine’s Day a great day for a party?… Because you can party hearty. (Funny Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  29. Teacher: You’ve got your shoes on the wrong feet. Student: But these are the only feet I’ve got!
  30. What did the shark get on his biology test?… A sea-minus. (Shark Jokes & 180 School Jokes)
  31. Which hockey player has the biggest helmet?… The one with the biggest head. (Hockey Jokes)
  32. My grandpa said he was built upside down. He said his nose runs and his feet smell. (Grandparent Jokes)
  33. What did one eye say to the other eye?….Something between us smells!
  34. Why did the skeleton hold up the barbecue?…He needed a spare rib. (Summer Jokes)
  35. Where did the General put his armies?… In his sleevies. (get it his sleeves)? (Memorial Day Jokes)
  36. What do ye call a pirate with two eyes and two legs?…  A rookie. (Pirate Jokes)
  37. What do a gym member and a heart have in common?… They both love pumping iron.
  38. Why don’t anteaters get sick?… Because they are full of antibodies! (Ant Jokes)
  39. Where did Columbus first land in America?… On his feet! (Columbus Day Jokes)
  40. What kind of plant grows on your hand?… Palm tree. (Tree Jokes)
  41. Did you hear about the marathon runner who ran for three hours but only moved two feet?… He only had two feet! (Marathon Jokes for Kids)
  42. Why did the Cyclops teacher have such an easy first day of school?… He only had one pupil. (Back to School Jokes)
  43. Why did nose not want to go to school?… He was tired of getting picked on! (180 School Jokes)
  44. Shark Week: What did the shark get on his biology test?… A sea-minus. (Shark Jokes & Shark Jokes)
  45. Why didn’t Dracula have any friends?…He was a pain in the neck! (Halloween Jokes for Kids)
  46. Why shouldn’t you tell the joke about the ceiling to a middle school student?… It’s way over his / her head. (Middle School Jokes)
  47. Teacher: You’ve got your shoes on the wrong feet. Student: But these are the only feet I’ve got! (Teacher Jokes)
  48. “Did you hear the joke about the pop fly?”…   “Forget it. It’s way over your head.” (Baseball Jokes)
  49. What does a biologist wear to prom?… Designer jeans (genes). (Prom Jokes)
  50. Which hockey player has the biggest skates?… The one with the biggest feet. (Hockey Jokes)
  51. How much did the pirate pay for his peg leg and hook?… An arm and a leg. (Pirate Jokes)
  52. Why didn’t the clock work?… It needed a hand. (Daylight Savings Jokes)
  53. What kind of chain is edible?…. A food chain! (Fast Food Jokes)
  54. What do you call a FISH with no Eyes?… A FSH.  (Animal Jokes for Kids)
  55. How do hurricanes see?… With one eye! (Biology Jokes)
  56. What do you call a Hufflepuff with one brain cell?… Gifted. (Harry Potter Jokes)
  57. What did the cross eyed teacher say to the principal?…. “I can’t control my pupils!” (Principal Jokes)
  58. Why was the teacher cross-eyed on the last day of school?… She lost control of her pupils. (Jokes for the Last Day of School)
  59. What do you call an ant with five pairs of eyes?… Antteneye! (Ant Jokes)
  60. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the school dance?… He didn’t have anybody to take. (any BODY) (Halloween Jokes for Kids & 180 School Jokes)
  61. Two sailors were out in their boat when a hand appeared in the ocean. ‘What’s that?’ asked the first sailor, ‘It looks as if someone’s drowning!’ ‘Nonsense,’ replied the second, ‘it was just a little wave.’ (Ocean Jokes)
  62. Why was the biology book in the hospital?…Because it hurt his spine. (180 School Jokes)
  63. Why was the scuba diver failing Biology?… Because he was below “C” level. (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  64. How do you make a skeleton laugh?… Tickle its funnybone! (Halloween Jokes for Kids)
  65. Teacher: “Who wrote: Oh say, can you see?” Student: “An eye doctor?” (Teacher Jokes & American Revolution Jokes)
  66. Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?… She couldn’t control her pupils! (Teacher Jokes)
  67. Why do coaches like punters?… Because punters always put their best foot forward. (Football Jokes)
  68. What do you call the leader of a biology gang?… The nucleus.
  69. The nurse walked into the busy doctor’s office and said, “Doctor, the invisible man is here.” The doctor replied, “Sorry, I can’t see him.” (Halloween Jokes for Kids & Doctor Jokes)
  70. My son came home from school and said, “My teacher gave me a B for my biology practical.” I said, “That’s good.” He said, “Not really. Everyone else got a frog to cut up.” (180 School Jokes)
  71. How much did it cost for a pirate to pierce his ears? … a buck an ear (a buccaneer)! (Top Pirate Jokes)
  72. What do octopus knights wear?… A coat of arms. (Knight Jokes & Octopus Jokes)
  73. What did one eye say to the other eye?… Something between us smells!
  74. What part of your body says one thing but does another?… A HIP-ocrit!
  75. Why did the skeleton go to the piano store?… To buy some organs!
  76. Why do noses run but feet smell?
  77. What type of flowers does everybody have?… Two-lips. (Top Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  78. One plant says to another, “Are you hungry?”… The other replies, “I could use a light snack.”
  79. Why is your nose in the middle of your face? … Because it is the “scenter.” / Center!
  80. What was the biologist wearing on his first date?… Designer genes
  81. What did one cell say to his sister cell when she stepped in his toe?… Ouch, Mitosis!
  82. Why are frogs so happy? Because they can eat whatever bugs them!
  83. What do you call a penguin that has no eyes?… Pengun. (Biology Jokes for Teachers & Grammar Jokes)
  84. Why shouldn’t you tell a secret in a cornfield?… Because the corn has ears. (Biology Jokes & Corn Jokes)

PG-13 Jokes

  1. You enter the laboratory and see an experiment. How will you know which class is it?… If it’s green and wiggles, it’s biology… If it stinks, it’s chemistry… If it doesn’t work, it’s physics.
  2. Two blood cells met and married, but alas it was all in vein.
  3. We have to stop talking about mitosis… It’s such a divisive issue.
  4. Why couldn’t the plants escape prison?… Because their cells were surrounded by walls.
  5. Did you hear about the famous microbiologist who traveled in thirty different countries and learned to speak six languages?… He was a man of many cultures. (Top Geography Jokes)
  6. A red blood cell walked into a busy restaurant. The hostess asked, “Would you like to sit at the bar?” The red cell replied, “No thanks, I’ll just circulate.”
  7. What did one cell say to his sister cell when she stepped in his toe?.. Mitosis.
  8. We just hired a molecular biologist… Man, is he small.
  9. Which biochemicals wash up on beaches?… Nucleotides. (Top Summer Jokes)
  10. What was the biologist wearing on his first date?… Designer jeans. (Top Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  11. What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?… One wags a tail and the other tags a whale. (World Ocean’s Day Jokes)
  12. Where do hippos go to university?… Hippocampus. (Top College Jokes)
  13. I don’t know what carbon dating is, but I’ll try anything at this point… (Top Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  14. What do you call a place of worship made out of amino acids?… A cysteine chapel.
  15. What do you call an oral hygiene product for the brain?… Neural Crest.
  16. How do you call a member of the financial staff of the faculty of Biology?… A Buy-ologist.
  17. Why are environmentalists bad at playing cards?… They like to avoid the flush.
  18. Where do they send the criminal neurons?… To the chain ganglion.
  19. What kind of notebook does a dendrochronologist use?… A tree-ring binder. (Top 10 Arbor Day Jokes & 180 School Jokes)
  20. How does Juliet maintain a constant body temperature?… Romeostasis. (Top Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  21. How do you identify a bald eagle?… All his feathers are combed over to one side. (Top 500 Jokes for U.S. States)
  22. A guy accidentally ingested some alpha-L-glucose but he had no ill effect… Apparently he was ambidextrose.
  23. Biology is the only science in which multiplication is the same thing as division.
  24. What do biologists wear on their heads when playing football?… Helminth. (365 Sports Jokes & Top Football Jokes)
  25. What’s a pirate’s favorite amino acid?… Arrrrrr-ginine. (Top Pirate Jokes)
  26. What do you call a faulty spirometer?… Expired.
  27. What did the femur say to the patella?… I kneed you. (Top Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  28. How many biologists does it take to change a light bulb?… Four. One to change it and three to write the environmental-impact statement.
  29. When you breath, you inspire. When you do not breath, you expire.
  30. How do you eat DNA-spaghetti?… With a replication fork. (Meatball Jokes)
  31. A bacteriologist is a man whose conversation always starts with the germ of an idea.
  32. How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam?… An itsy bitsy book.
  33. What do you call the union of a sheep and a ram?… A zygoat. (Animal Jokes for Kids)
  34. How do you know you’re dehydrated?… You can hear your red blood cells crenating.
  35. What’s the study of real estate?.. Homology.
  36. A couple of biologists had twins… One they called John and the other control.
  37. What did the male stamen say to the female pistil?… I like your “style”
  38. If I go to jail, my nickname will be mitochondria so I’m the power house of the cell.
  39. How does the nucleus communicate with ribosomes?… With a cell phone.
  40. A lonely frog, desparate for some form of company telephoned the Psychic Hotline to find out what his future holds. His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him, “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.” The frog is thrilled and says, “This is great! Where will I meet her, at work, at a party?” “No” says the psychic, “in a Biology class.”
  41. How did the herpetologist know he would be married soon?… He caught the garter snake.
  42. Did you hear the one about the recycling family of triplets?… Polly, Ethel and Ian.
  43. What do you call cabs which provide drug therapy?… Chemotaxis.
  44. What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede?… Bacon and Legs. (Egg Jokes & Bacon Jokes)
  45. How do pirates talk to each other?… Aye to aye! (Pirate Jokes)
  46. What does a nosy pepper do?… Gets jalapeño business. (Taco Jokes)
  47. What has ears but can’t hear a thing?… A cornfield. (Corn Jokes & Biology Jokes)
  48. Everyone has these on their face. What are they?… Tulips! (Biology Jokes Flower Jokes)