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More Shark Jokes…

  1. Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a Chatham Great White Shark for biting all his limbs off?… He didn’t have a leg to stand on! (Cape Cod Jokes & Lawyer Jokes)
  2. If you thought swimming with dolphins was expensive, you should try swimming with sharks …. It cost me an arm and a leg! (Swimming Jokes & Dolphin Jokes)
  3. Where are sharks from?… Finland. (Geography Jokes)
  4. Which sharks would you find at a construction site?… Hammerhead sharks.
  5. Which sharks do you find in heaven?… Angel sharks. (Cemetery Jokes)
  6. The star attraction at my local aquarium has been repossessed… Turns out it was a loan shark! (U.S Aquariums)
  7. Did you hear about the surfer who lost his left arm and left leg in a shark attack… he is all right now. (Surfing Jokes)
  8. What is a shark’s favorite sandwich?… A peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich. (Sandwich Jokes)
  9. A friendly reminder: Sharks live in the ocean… Year-round. (Ocean Jokes)
  10. I would like to see a Great White shark before I die… But not right before I die. (Cemetery Jokes)
  11. Did you hear about the shark ghost?… It vanished into fin air! (Magic Jokes)
  12. What’s a shark’s favorite movie?… Shaw-shark Redemption! (Movie Jokes)
  13. Did you hear about the shark magician?… For his last trick, he vanished into fin air! (Ghost Jokes)
  14. What did the shark plead in court? Gill-ty. 
  15. What’s a shark’s favorite event to attend? The carnival! 
  16. What’s a shark’s favorite word to say in agreement? De-fin-itely. 
  17. That shark sure is athletic—he’s been working on his a-gil-ity! 
  18. What’s a shark’s favorite song? “Don’t Stop Be-reef-ing” 
  19. What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish? “This tastes a little funny…” 
  20. You’re skating on fin ice, pal… 
  21. What do you call a shark in a bad mood? Grumpy gills. 
  22. There’s no-fin I wouldn’t do for you. 1
  23. Who’s a shark’s favorite Star Wars character? Chewbacca. 
  24. What did the hammerhead’s boss say when he did a good job? “You nailed it!” 
  25. Why are sharks hard to trust? They tell great white lies. 
  26. Did you hear about the all-star shark athlete? He led his team to the chompionship! 
  27. Don’t trust sharks—they’ll spill your sea-crets.  
  28. Where’s the first place the shark visited in Europe? Finland. 
  29. Why did the shark get sent to jail? He was involved with some fishy business. 
  30. What’s a shark’s favorite breakfast food? A jellyfish filled donut. 
  31. Come to the shark side… 
  32. Stay jaws-itive. 
  33. Why did the shark cross the reef? To get to the other tide!
  34. What do fish like to dress up as for Halloween? Goblin sharks. 
  35. What’s a shark’s favorite card game? Go fish.
  36. The shark is out of work right now, but don’t worry—he’s collecting workers chomp. 
  37. What are a shark’s two most favorite words? Man overboard. 
  38. What’s a shark’s favorite meal? Fish and ships. 
  39. What’s a baby shark’s favorite nursery rhyme? Jack and Gill. 
  40. What do you call a dapper shark? So-fish-dicated. 
  41. What did the pirate shark sing with his crew? “Yo ho ho and a bottle of chum!” 
  42. What type of sharks do carpenters like? The hammerhead and saw shark. 
  43. Did you hear about the psychic shark? It can sea into the future! 
  44. No wonder that shark doesn’t have any friends—it’s a loan shark. 
  45. What was the last word of the shark movie? Fin. 
  46. Who’s Iron Man’s alter-ego in the sea world? Tony Shark. 
  47. How do sharks find things online? They surf the fin-ternet. 
  48. Why was the shark so funny? He was fluent in shark-asm. 
  49. What did the shark say when he bit the fishing line? “I’m hooked!” 
  50. What’s a shark’s favorite coffee shop? Shark-bucks. 
  51. In the sea world, what’s it called when one thing makes something else happen? Jaws and effect. 
  52. No-fin compares to you, dear.
  53. What did the shark get when he traveled to the Arctic Ocean? Frostbite.
  54. Where do lonely sharks go to find companionship?… Sand Bars. (Beer Jokes)
  55. I was at the beach the other day when I saw a man swimming in the sea despite the warning signs about the shark-infested waters. He got attacked and lost a leg. I bet he’s kicking himself now!
  56. On one hand, I should be more focused on my job as a shark feeder at Seaworld. On the other h. . . AARGH!!!
  57. What did the seal with a broken arm say to the shark?… Do not consume if seal is broken!
  58. What do a shark and a computer have in common?… They both have megabites!
  59. What is a shark’s favorite song?… Fins by Jimmy Buffett. (Music Jokes)
  60. What do you call a fish that doesn’t have any friends?… A loan shark!
  61. What was the shark’s favourite movie? Eating Nemo!
  62. What sort of fish operates on a sick shark? A sturgeon!
  63.  What advice did the dad shark give his son? “Go take a bite out of life!”
  64. A prospective businessman enters the Shark Tank.Shark 1: What’s your business idea?
  65. Businessman: Ridiculously wide sunglasses. Shark 1: I’m out. Shark 2: I’m out. Hammerhead shark: Tell me more.
  66. How can you tell if two sharks are friends? They act chummy with one another.
  67. Where do sharks go to summer camp?… Finland! (Summer Camp for Kids)
  68. Where do country music-loving sharks go? Gnashville!
  69. What is a shark’s favorite game?… Swallow the leader! (Shark Jokes for Kids)
  70. old a friend that I was attacked by a shark the other day. He asked, “Did you punch it on the nose?” “No,” I said, “The shark started it for no reason!”
  71. Pretend you are on a boat surrounded by sharks. How do you survive? You stop pretending!
  72. What do sharks working in fast food tell customers?… Chumming right up. (Fast Food Jokes)
  73. What do sharks order at McDonalds?… A quarter flounder with cheese! (Fast Food Jokes)
  74. What do you get when you cross Frosty with a shark?… Frost bite! (Frosty the Snowman Jokes)
  75. What’s a shark’s favorite TV show?… Shark Tank!
  76. I’m beginning to think deciding to call my dog “Shark” was a big mistake. I’ve been banned from all my local beaches!
  77. Which body part are mermaids scared of?… Jaws! (Movie Jokes)
  78. Where do country singing sharks try to make it big?… Gnashville. (Tennessee Jokes)
  79. What do you call a solitary shark?… A “lone” (loan) shark.
  80. How does a hammerhead shark tell his mom he passed his test?… Nailed it! (180 School Jokes)
  81. What did the shark say when he was accused of hitting his brother?… Not gill-ty! (Police Jokes)
  82. Who is the most famous shark writer?… William Sharkspeare! (Book Jokes)
  83. Why don’t sharks like fast food?… Because they can’t catch it! (Fast Food Jokes)
  84. How did the crazy shark become normal again?… electro shark therapy. (Psychology Jokes)
  85. What do you call a shark that can’t stop singing “U Cant Touch This?”… An M.C. Hammerhead. (Music Jokes)
  86. What was the shark’s favorite James Joyce novel?… FINnegan’s wake! (St. Patrick’s Day Jokes & Book Jokes)
  87. A new study shows sharks only bite those who swim in the ocean. Researchers advise not swimming there. (Swimming Jokes & Ocean Jokes)
  88. What do sharks do when they have a big choice to make?… Chews wisely! 
  89. Did you hear about the musician who borrowed money from a loan shark?… He’s in a whole lot of treble.
  90. If a shark is after you, what should your feed it?… Jawbreakers! (Candy Jokes for Kids)
  91. Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef?… To get to the other TIDE. (Ocean Jokes)
  92. Why wasn’t the woman afraid when she saw a shark while she was swimming in the water?… Because it was a man-eating shark! (Swimming Jokes)
  93. I was at the beach today when I saw a man in the sea yelling, “Help, shark! Help!”… I just laughed and laughed. I knew that shark wouldn’t help him.
  94. What did the shark plead in the murder case?… Not gill-ty! (Police Jokes & Lawyer Jokes)
  95. Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?… Santa Jaws! (Christmas Jokes)
  96. I went to a Halloween party dressed as a shark…. The novelty is wearing a little fin! (Halloween Jokes)
  97. What was the nerd shark’s favorite programming language?… Jaw-va. (Computer Jokes)
  98. How do sharks stay up all night?… They drink jaw-va. (Coffee Jokes)
  99. What did one shark say to the other after eating a clown fish??… “Not only does it look funny, but it tastes funny too.”
  100. What did the shark get on his biology test?… A sea-minus. (Biology Jokes & 180 School Jokes)
  101. What was the marine biologist’s kid’s excuse for not having his homework?… “My shark ate it!” (180 School Jokes)
  102. What’s a shark’s favorite bible story?… Noah’s Shark.
  103. How does a shark family get a vacation started?… By setting the wheels in ocean. (Travel Guest Blogs)
  104. What did one shark say to the other after an awkward moment?… Whale, that was weird. (Whale Jokes)
  105. Shark Pun: Where’s my bloody dinner?
  106. What kind of shark is always gambling?… A CARD SHARK.
  107. What do you call the mushy stuff stuck between a great white’s shark teeth?…  Slow swimmers. (Swimming Jokes)
  108. If they made movie starring the Loch Ness Monster and the great white shark from Jaws, what would the movie be called?… Loch Jaws! (Movie Jokes)
  109. What does a snow shark give you?… Frost bites. (Winter Jokes & Snow Day Jokes)
  110. What happens when you cross a great white shark with a trumpet fish?… I don’t know…but I wouldn’t want to play it! (Music Jokes)
  111. What do you call two sharks who get married?… Hooked for life. (Wedding Jokes)
  112. What did the shark say to the spear fisherman?… Please, spear me the pain! (Fishing Jokes)
  113. A pirate and a sailor were exchanging stories. The sailor pointed to the pirate’s peg leg and asked, “How did you get that?” The pirate said, “Aye, I wrestled a shark and lost me leg.” The sailor pointed to the pirate’s hook and asked, “How did you get that?” The pirate said: “Aye, I fought Red Beard’s crew and lost me hand.” The sailor pointed to the pirate’s eye patch and asked, “How did you get that?” The pirate said, “Aye, a bird came by and left droppings in me eye.” The sailor said, “That’s not as impressive as the other two. …” “Aye,” the pirate answered. “It was me first day with the hook.” (Pirate Jokes)
  114. What did the hammerhead shark say to his drinking buddies?… I’m hammered. (Beer Jokes)
  115. What did the shark say when something amazing happened?… JAWESOME!
  116. What did the momma shark say to the kid shark?… Watch that sharkasm, young man. (Mom Jokes)
  117. What did the shark say to the whale?… What are u blubbering about? (Whale Jokes)
  118. Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight?… Because the octopus was well armed. (Octopus Jokes & Boxing Jokes)
  119. What happened when the shark got famous?… He became a starfish!
  120. What did one shark say to the other shark?… There’s some-fin special about you! (101 Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  121. How do sharks greet the day?… With the saying “time to rise and tide.”
  122. How do you make a shark laugh?… Tell a whale of a tale. (Whale Jokes)
  123. How does a shark greet a fish?… Pleased to eat you! (Fishing Jokes)
  124. What did the shark say to the surfer?… Come on in, the water’s fine! (Surfing Jokes)
  125. What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?… Shark Trek!
  126. What do sharks have on their toast?… Mermalaid.
  127. There’s a little-known but foolproof defense against sharks… Sharks will only attack you if you’re wet.
  128. How did they know the victim of the shark attack had dandruff?… They found her head and shoulders on the beach.
  129. What did the great white shark say to the cliff jumper?… Don’t worry, I’ll catch you.
  130. What do yuppie sharks like to drink?… Jaw-va. (Coffee Jokes)
  131. What song do sharks sing while they hunt for food?… Don’t Stop Bleedin’! (Music Jokes)
  132. What types of sharks are the shadiest sharks?… Card sharks.
  133. What sharks are the shortest?… Ground sharks.
  134. What does a hammerhead shark call a headache?… A hammering head. (Doctor Jokes)
  135. What does a dentist say to his shark patients?… Let’s see those chompers. (Dentist Jokes)
  136. What did the shark say to his wife during a fight?… You’re just being jaw-matic.
  137. What candy must a shark with braces avoid?… Jaw-breakers! (Dentist Jokes & Candy Jokes)
  138. What lie will a shark always tell a human?… I promise to take just one bite.
  139. How does a shark announce dinner’s ready?… “Hot off the gill!”
  140. What did the 18-year-old shark ask his parents when they kicked him out of the reef?… Why are you casting me out?
  141. What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?… As far away as possible.
  142. What should you do if you see a shark?… Swim away.
  143. Why do sharks live in salt water?… Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
  144. If you see a tuna being chased by a dozen sharks what time is it?… Twelve after one. (Math Jokes for Kids)
  145. What doe a shark like to watch on TV?… Anything but Flipper! Dolphin Jokes)
  146. What happens when you cross a great white shark with a cow fish?…  I don’t know…but I wouldn’t want to milk it! (Cow Jokes & Milk Jokes)
  147. What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?… An animal that talks your head off.
  148. Who is the shark community’s favorite 1950s film actor?… Shark Hudson
  149. Whats the Great White Shark’s favorite candy?… The Jaw-Breaker! (Candy Jokes for Kids)
  150. What should you do if you see a shark?… Swim far, far away! (Swimming Jokes)
  151. What does a shark eat for dinner?… Whatever it wants!
  152. Save a boat. Ride a shark. It’s more eco-friendly. (Earth Day Jokes)
  153. What do you get if cross a snowman and a shark?… Frost bite! (Snowman Jokes)
  154. What did the shark say after eating a clown fish?… This tastes a little funny!
  155. What is a Great White shark’s favorite kind of sandwich?… Peanut butter and jellyfish!
  156. What did the Daddy shark say to the kid shark?… Watch that sharkasm, young man! (Dad Jokes)
  157. What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?… An animal that talks your head off!
  158. What’s a great white’s favorite tune?… Dun-uh. Dun-uh. Dun-u. (Music Jokes)
  159. How does a shark plead in court?… Gill-ty. (Police Jokes & Lawyer Jokes)
  160. Her: What do you want to dinner? Him: Finny you should ask, I wanted to see if you’d like to catch a bite somewhere.
  161. Tiger sharks will eat anything and everything. Especially people who use the ocean as a bathroom.
  162. How did the hammerhead do on his test?… He nailed it!
  163. Sharks only attack because no one will look them straight in the eye.
  164. How did the hammerhead do on the math exam?… He nailed it. (Math Jokes for Kids)
  165. Just remember, you’ll never need a bigger boat if you don’t go to the ocean.
  166. How do you throw a shark out of a bar?… You cast it out. (Beer Jokes)
  167. Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef?… To get to the other tide!
  168. The last ten times I’ve been to a fancy dress party I’ve gone as a shark… The joke’s wearing fin!
  169. Where do sharks go on vacation?… Finland! 
  170. Hangry sharks make the worst ocean floaties.
  171. I had a nightmare about being attacked by a shark… When I woke up I realized it was just a bream!
  172. What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?… Peanut butter and jellyfish! (Peanut Butter Jokes)
  173. What did the man say to his wife at the beach?… Let’s prey the sharks are sleeping while we’re swimming. (Swimming Jokes & Napping Jokes)
  174. Shark Pun: You’ve got me between a rock and a shark place.
  175. Shark Pun: This makome off as a surprise, but I don’t bite.
  176. Shark Pun: There’s some-fin special about you.
  177. Shark Pun: Stay jaw-some.
  178. Shark Pun: How do sharks greet one another?… Water you up to, mate?
  179. Shark Pun: What do sharks do when they have a big choice to make? Chews wisely.
  180. Shark Pun: That shark attack really made a splash in the headlines, huh?
  181. Shark Pun: If you can be fin-tastic, always be fin-tastic.
  182. Shark Pun: How does a shark express disappointment? Jaw, man!
  183. Shark Pun: What did the mom shark say to her mouthy son?… Don’t get sharky, son.
  184. Shark Pun: Sharks that steal always mako like a bandit.
  185. How does a shark chef announce that the food is ready? “Hot off the gill!”
  186. Shark Pun: Who’s the best baseball shark around?… Shark McGwire
  187. Shark Pun: Go ahead and mako my day.
  188. Shark Pun: Don’t de-bait me. You won’t win this bite.
  189. Shark Pun: Gangster shark to human: Shark my words, you’re a dead man.
  190. What does a shark like to eat with peanut butter sandwiches?… Jellyfish. (Peanut Butter Jokes)
  191. Who delivers Christmas presents to baby sharks?… Santa Jaws!
  192. What do sharks eat for dessert?… Octo-pie. (Octopus Jokes)
  193. Why does Cupid always make so much money at the casino?… Because he’s a Valentine’s Card Shark. (Funny Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  194. Why did the shark throw his clock out the window?… He wanted to see time fly!
  195. What type of shark do you find at a building site? Hammerhead sharks!