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- Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Lord of the Rings jokes.
- Why did Frodo Baggins put his phone on silent?… He was tired of the ring!
- Hobbits are really good people… they don’t look down on anyone.
- Movie Review: The Lord of the Rings: Group spends nine hours returning jewelry. (Movie Jokes)
- What is Gandalf’s favorite band?… The Eagles! (Bird Jokes & 365 Music Jokes)
- I’m throwing a hobbit party… It’s just a little get-together.
- Who’s going to agree to play Frodo in the Lord of the Rings movies?… Elijah Would. (Movie Jokes & Tree Jokes)
- Where do Hobbits ride horses?… At the Frodeo! (Horse Jokes)
- Hand. Hand. River. Dirt. Gollum. Hobbits. Pockets. Pockets. Finger. Envelope. Fire. Hand. Neck. Neck. Finger. Hobbits. Neck. Neck. Neck. Pocket. Finger. LAVA… The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, from the perspective of the ring. (Movie Jokes & Biology Jokes for Teachers)
- What do you call Legolas, Robin Hood, and Katniss Everdeen when they’re leaving?… Dep-archers. (Archery Jokes & Robin Hood Jokes)
- Gandalf was very unhappy at work… He couldn’t find his staff! (Labor Day Jokes)
- An Elf, a Dwarf, a hobbit and a Wizard walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What is this, a joke?” (Beer Jokes & Elf Jokes)
- Dancing trees?… Now that’s ENT-ertainment. (Tree Jokes & Dance Jokes)
- Why don’t you ask a hobbit for money?… Because they’re always a little short.
- How did Frodo Baggins know when his neighbor had died?… He read it in the Hobbituary. (Cemetery Jokes)
- I did a Lord of the Rings marathon yesterday…. I ran 26 miles dressed up as Frodo Baggins! (Marathon Jokes)
- I like it when people call me Precious… It has such a nice ring to it!
- Why did the Hobbit get a job at Burger King?… He wanted to be “Lord of the Onion Rings.” (Lord of the Rings Jokes & Fast Food Jokes)
- My teacher’s name is Gandalf… needless to say he didn’t let me pass. (Jokes for Teachers)
- How many Hobbits does it take to change a lightbulb?… None – there are no lightbulbs in Middle-earth!
- What was Frodo at Aragorn and Arwen’s wedding?… The Ring-bearer! (Wedding Jokes)
- Three movies are a bit much for The Hobbit… They seem to be really dragon it out! (Dragon Jokes)
- The Hobbit pinball machine is AMAZING… It doesn’t accept any coins though, only a Tolkien.
- The best films of all time Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit trilogies… Now that’s what I’m Tolkien about. (Movie Jokes)
- What do you call a hobbit eating at KFC?… Lord of the Wings. (Fast Food Jokes & Chicken Jokes)
- Why did the Dwarves leave Erebor?… They didn’t like the pollution – there was too much Smaug! (Environment Jokes & Dragon Jokes)
- What would Gandalf have said if The Lord of the Rings played in a supermarket instead of Middle-Earth?… One ring to rule the mall. (Black Friday Jokes)
- Robert de Niro is playing the lead role in the upcoming movie about “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy. The movie is called “You Tolkien to me?” (Movie Jokes)
- Lego Lord of the Rings was a definitive moment for Tolkien fans… up to that point they had been Legoless. (Lego Jokes)
- What is Gollum’s favorite bird?… A smea-gull. (Bird Jokes & Ocean Jokes)
- How did the hobbit ruin the boxing match?… He tried to destroy the ring! (Boxing Jokes)
- Why should you try to be nice to a hobbit?… Because he’s got a short temper.
- We think we might name our child Precious… It has such a nice ring to it! (Baby Jokes)
- The Lord of the Rings must be about marriage… Because when you put the ring on, you disappear. (Marriage Jokes)
- Why can’t Saruman read his wristwatch?… Because his arm has grown long! (Daylight Savings Jokes)
- What did Pippin say when he was being carried off by the Uruk-hai?… You’re carrying me in an orcward position!
- What is the Witch-king’s favorite book?… The Grapes of Wraith! (Book Jokes & Witch Jokes)
- Why didn’t Tom Bombadil answer the phone?… Because the Ring had no effect on him!
- What happened when the warg tried to bite Treebeard?… He found his fang gorn! (Tree Jokes)
- What is a gardener’s least favorite Lord of the Rings book?… The Return of the Kink! (Book Jokes & Flower Jokes)
- Why are Hobbit doors round?… If you ate seven meals a day you’d need round doors too! (Geometry Jokes for Teachers)
- I would make another Lord Of the Rings joke… but all the good ones Aragorn.
- Why were the police looking for Sauron?… He was wanted for first degree Mordor! (murder) (Police Jokes)
- What did Galadriel say when Frodo offered her the Ring?… I do! (Wedding Jokes)
- How did the trolls find Gimli’s father at night?… He was Glóin in the dark!
- What did Pippin do when he got drunk?… He became Merry! (Beer Jokes)
- What is Barliman Butterbur’s favorite cheese?… Bree! (Cheese Jokes)
- Have you heard about Aragorn’s father, Arathorn?… He has a prickly personality! (Dad Jokes)
- What kind of pictures do Elves take?… Elfies! (Elf Jokes)
- Which penguin movie won an Oscar?… Lord of the Wings. (101 Lord of the Rings Jokes & Movie Jokes)
- Who was the most volatile actor in The Lord of the Rings?… Orlando Boom! (Fireworks Jokes & Movie Jokes)
- How many times do you have to phone Sauron?… Once – it only takes One Ring!
- Why is it so hard to attack Barad-dûr?… Because no matter how many you open, there are always Mordors!
- What do you call a wizard who can hit a white ball with a club?… Cangolf! (Golf Jokes)
- My English teacher used to quote The Lord of the Rings to us… She used to say “you shall not pass.” (Grammar Jokes)
- I was once obsessed with “The Lord of the Rings.” The books, the movies, the collectables, everything… Finally I was able to kick the hobbit. (Movie Jokes)
- I did a Hobbit marathon yesterday…. I ran 26 miles dressed up as Bilbo Baggins! (Marathon Jokes)
- A hobbit was not watching where he was going and he bumped into the wizard. He said, “Saruman, didn’t see you there!” (Walking Jokes)
- What do you call a gangster hobbit?… Yolo Swaggins. (Movie Jokes)
- Why did they come out with a Lord of the Rings movie?…The fans were Baggins for it. (Movie Jokes)
- Lord of Rings Life Lesson: Man puts ring on finger, slowly goes insane! (Wedding Jokes & Marriage Jokes)
- A friend told me that the Lord of the Rings was a terrible series I said “You don’t know what you’re Tolkien about.” (Book Jokes)
- Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about Lord of the Rings?
- Why did the Lord of the Rings author get kicked out of the movie theater?… He was Tolkien all the way through. (Book Jokes)
- What do you call a movie about a gangster hobbit?… Yolo Swaggins and the Fellowship of the Bling. (Movie Jokes)
- What do you call a hobbit party?… A little get together. (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
- Why shouldn’t you upset a dwarf?… Because he’s got a short temper.
- I want to make a Lord of the Rings heavy metal band called Nightmare on Helm’s Deep. (Friday the 13th Jokes & 365 Music Jokes)
- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Lord of the Rings knock-knock joke?
- The Elves in The Lord of Rings look down upon anyone who is different from them. It’s pretty messed up… they’re so arrow minded. (Archery Jokes)
- What do you call a Lord of Rings fan with a sprained ankle?… A hobblit. (Doctor Jokes)
- You think Harry Potter is better than Lord of Rings… Tolkien must be Rowling in his grave… (Book Jokes & Harry Potter Jokes)
- What do you need to play the new Lord of the Rings pinball game?… Tolkiens.
- I went to an Apple Store and set up alarms on all of the phones…. I was Lord of the rings!
- Tolkien typed the entire Lord Of The Rings using only two fingers… That must have been Mordor. (Book Jokes)
- I started walking around without any shoes… and it became a sort of hobbit. (Walking Jokes)
- It’s a hobbit… I watch the Lord of the Rings movie. (Movie Jokes)
- What is an accountant’s favorite Lord of the Rings movie?… The Return of the King.
- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Lord of the Rings knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
- Did you hear about the kid who lost his lord of the rings LEGO set?… He was LEGO less. (Lego Jokes)
- Nine bees made their way to Mordor… It was the fellowship of the Sting. (Bee Jokes & 365 Music Jokes))
- Good study hobbits require a frodo-graphic memory. (Jokes for Teachers)
- What’s wrong with staying up late to watch Lord of the Rings movies?… It’s a bad hobbit. (Movie Jokes)
- How many quarters does it take to play the new Lord of the Rings arcade game?… None… it only takes Tolkiens!
- I did a Lord of the Rings marathon yesterday… I ran 26 miles dressed up as Gandalf! (Marathon Jokes)
- Orlando Bloom was only paid $175,000 for his role as Legolas in the Lord of the Rings trilogy… One might say he was definitely not an Elf made millionaire. (Movie Jokes & Elf Jokes)
- I belong to a Lord of the Rings Society, and we have a secret sign… It is a Tolkien gesture.
- For my son’s birthday, I got him a copy of “The Lord of the Rings,” but he wasn’t too happy… He thought it was a Tolkien gesture. (Birthday Jokes & Dad Jokes)
- Who did Saruman marry?… Saruwoman! (Wedding Jokes & Marriage Jokes)
- What did Frodo say when he saw the trees dancing?… That’s ENT-ertainment! (Tree Jokes & Dance Jokes)
- I couldn’t enter Sauron’s lair… there was always one Mordor to go through.
- What do you call a hobbit that eats junk food?… Lord of the Onion Rings. (Fast Food Jokes)
- What do you call a chubby hobbit?… Low Fat.
- My wife is the biggest “Lord of the Rings” fan… Every night I hear her Tolkien in her sleep. (Napping Jokes & Marriage Jokes)
- I hear that Legolas from the Lord of the Rings had an older brother, but he died before Legolas was born… His name was Legofirst. (Lego Jokes)
- Why did the Best Man go to Mount Doom?… Because he was the Ring-bearer! (Marriage Jokes & Wedding Jokes)
- Bruce Willis has been cast to play the lead role in the upcoming Lord of the Rings sequel… Old Hobbits Die Hard. (Movie Jokes & Cemetery Jokes)
- How did the hobbit ruin the wrestling match?… He tried to destroy the ring! (Wrestling Jokes)
- Did you know The Lord of Rings could have come out a lot earlier?… Only problem was no one knew what the writer was Tolkien about. (Book Jokes)
- Why was Gandalf always smoking that pipe?… Because he had a bad Hobbit!
- What do you call the wraith king?… A ring leader!
- One ring rules your life, it slowly destroys you, and sometimes, death seems easier than continuing on. (Marriage Jokes & Wedding Jokes)
- Why did Frodo read The Lord of the Rings 50 times?… Because it was hobbit-forming! (Book Jokes)
- Why did the hobbit go to McDonalds?… To get a second breakfast. (Breakfast Jokes & Fast Food Jokes)
- What did Borimir say to the Rolling Stones?… Have you not heard? One does not simply rock into Mordor! (365 Music Jokes)
- What do you call a dark lord that works at KFC?… Lord of the Wings! (Fast Food Jokes)
- What did Frodo say when he saw the elves dancing?… It must be Christmas time. (Dance Jokes / Christmas Jokes / Elf Jokes)
- I did a Lord of the Rings marathon yesterday… I ran 26 miles dressed up as Bilbo Baggins! (Marathon Jokes)
- Who did Saruman get married to?… Sarugirl. (Wedding Jokes & Marriage Jokes)
- My wife woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy… She’s Tolkien in her sleep. (Marriage Jokes & Napping Jokes)
- What did the Orc say after being shot by an Elf?… Well that was an arrowing experience! (Archery Jokes & Elf Jokes)
- I’ve been reading ‘Lord Of The Rings’ and apparently, Gollum was once a normal man, but wearing the ring drained him of his youth, energy and any joy in life… Must be the same ring I put on when I got married. (Wedding Jokes & Marriage Jokes)
- What do you call it when you misplace your Lego Lord of the Rings mini figures?… A Lego Legolas Loss. (Lego Jokes)
- I heard they’re remaking one of the Lord of the Rings movies, but everyone rides around on bicycles instead of horses… They’re calling it The Two Tires. (Bike Jokes)
- Patient: Doctor, at night in my bed I keep saying lines from The Lord of The Rings Doctor: That’s ok, you’re just Tolkien in your sleep. (Doctor Jokes & Napping Jokes)
- My math teacher used to quote the Lord of the Rings to us. She used to say “you shall not pass.” (Math Jokes for Teachers)
- Why is ‘The Lord of the Rings’ so long?… Because no one ever stops Tolkieng.
- How did Bilbo Baggins know when his neighbor had died?… He read it in the Hobbituary. (Cemetery Jokes)
- There weren’t a lot of hobbits in the first Lord of the Rings books… They were just Tolkien characters. (Book Jokes)
- In the Lord of the Rings you always have to make reservations at the restaurant… Because one does not simply walk in. (Walking Jokes)
- My son asked me if the Santa’s Elves were the same Elves from Lord of the Rings… I said grow up Son, you’re 42 years old. (Elf Jokes & Christmas Jokes)
- What do they call Gandalf at the local tavern?… The White Whizzer.
- I went to see my doctor today about a problem. I keep reading Lord of the Rings over and over again… She told me not to worry. It is just force of hobbit! (Doctor Jokes & Book Jokes)
- My dad set up a booth at a Renaissance Fair where people can dress up as Frodo from Lord of the Rings exclusively… It was his Frodo-Booth. (Dad Jokes & Photography Jokes)
- My boyfriend woke up just now. He is dreaming and muttering about how he wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy…. He’s Tolkien in his sleep. (Napping Jokes)
- What do you call a movie about Lebron James in the NBA Finals?… The Loss of the Rings. (World’s Best Basketball Jokes)
- I used to be addicted to Lord of the Rings… But then I kicked the hobbit.
- I would share another Lord of the Rings pun, but… all the good ones Aragorn.
- So I was watching Lord of the Rings with my dad… When I mentioned Legolas he asks, “so did he lose both his legs?” (Dad Jokes & Biology Jokes for Teachers)
- My son woke up just now. He is dreaming and muttering about how he wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy. He’s Tolkien in his sleep.
- My husband woke up just now. He is dreaming and muttering about how he wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy… He’s Tolkien in his sleep. (Napping Jokes)
- I keep reciting all of Lord of The Rings in bed, My wife says I need to do something about Tolkien in my sleep. (Napping Jokes)
- My grandmother woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy… She’s Tolkien in her sleep. (Napping Jokes)
- My grandfather woke up just now… He is dreaming and muttering about how he wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy. He’s Tolkien in his sleep. (Napping Jokes)
- What is the difference between Sauron and The Easter Bunny?… Nobody knows, no one has seen either one. (Easter Jokes)
- How did the hobbit ruin the MMA match?… He tried to destroy the ring!
- Why should you never call the Nazgûl ‘black riders’?… Because it’s wraith-ist!
- How did the hobbit ruin the MMA match?… He tried to destroy the ring!
- How did the hobbit ruin the boxing match?… He tried to destroy the ring! (Boxing Jokes)
- My girlfriend woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy… She’s Tolkien in her sleep. (Napping Jokes)
- My daughter woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy… She’s Tolkien in her sleep. (Napping Jokes)
- My father woke up just now. He is dreaming and muttering about how he wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy… He’s Tolkien in his sleep. (Napping Jokes)
- My mother woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy… She’s Tolkien in her sleep.(Napping Jokes)
updated 10.21.2022