101 Lord of the Rings Jokes

by | Oct 24, 2021 | Education, Latest News, School Jokes

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  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Lord of the Rings jokes.
  2. Why did Frodo Baggins put his phone on silent?… He was tired of the ring!
  3. Hobbits are really good people… they don’t look down on anyone.
  4. Movie Review: The Lord of the Rings: Group spends nine hours returning jewelry. (Movie Jokes)
  5. What is Gandalf’s favorite band?… The Eagles! (Bird Jokes & 365 Music Jokes)
  6. I’m throwing a hobbit party… It’s just a little get-together.
  7. Who’s going to agree to play Frodo in the Lord of the Rings movies?… Elijah Would. (Movie Jokes & Tree Jokes)
  8. Where do Hobbits ride horses?… At the Frodeo! (Horse Jokes)
  9. Hand. Hand. River. Dirt. Gollum. Hobbits. Pockets. Pockets. Finger. Envelope. Fire. Hand. Neck. Neck. Finger. Hobbits. Neck. Neck. Neck. Pocket. Finger. LAVA… The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, from the perspective of the ring. (Movie Jokes & Biology Jokes for Teachers)
  10. What do you call Legolas, Robin Hood, and Katniss Everdeen when they’re leaving?… Dep-archers. (Archery Jokes & Robin Hood Jokes)
  11. Gandalf was very unhappy at work… He couldn’t find his staff! (Labor Day Jokes)
  12. An Elf, a Dwarf, a hobbit and a Wizard walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What is this, a joke?” (Beer Jokes & Elf Jokes)
  13. Dancing trees?… Now that’s ENT-ertainment. (Tree Jokes & Dance Jokes)
  14. Why don’t you ask a hobbit for money?… Because they’re always a little short.
  15. How did Frodo Baggins know when his neighbor had died?… He read it in the Hobbituary. (Cemetery Jokes)
  16. I did a Lord of the Rings marathon yesterday…. I ran 26 miles dressed up as Frodo Baggins! (Marathon Jokes)
  17. I like it when people call me Precious… It has such a nice ring to it!
  18. Why did the Hobbit get a job at Burger King?… He wanted to be “Lord of the Onion Rings.” (Lord of the Rings Jokes & Fast Food Jokes)
  19. My teacher’s name is Gandalf… needless to say he didn’t let me pass. (Jokes for Teachers)
  20. How many Hobbits does it take to change a lightbulb?… None – there are no lightbulbs in Middle-earth!
  21. What was Frodo at Aragorn and Arwen’s wedding?… The Ring-bearer! (Wedding Jokes)
  22. Three movies are a bit much for The Hobbit… They seem to be really dragon it out! (Dragon Jokes)
  23. The Hobbit pinball machine is AMAZING… It doesn’t accept any coins though, only a Tolkien.
  24. The best films of all time Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit trilogies… Now that’s what I’m Tolkien about. (Movie Jokes)
  25. What do you call a hobbit eating at KFC?… Lord of the Wings. (Fast Food Jokes & Chicken Jokes)
  26. Why did the Dwarves leave Erebor?… They didn’t like the pollution – there was too much Smaug! (Environment Jokes & Dragon Jokes)
  27. What would Gandalf have said if The Lord of the Rings played in a supermarket instead of Middle-Earth?… One ring to rule the mall. (Black Friday Jokes)
  28. Robert de Niro is playing the lead role in the upcoming movie about “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy. The movie is called “You Tolkien to me?” (Movie Jokes)
  29. Lego Lord of the Rings was a definitive moment for Tolkien fans… up to that point they had been Legoless. (Lego Jokes)
  30. What is Gollum’s favorite bird?… A smea-gull. (Bird Jokes & Ocean Jokes)
  31. How did the hobbit ruin the boxing match?… He tried to destroy the ring! (Boxing Jokes)
  32. Why should you try to be nice to a hobbit?… Because he’s got a short temper.
  33. We think we might name our child Precious… It has such a nice ring to it! (Baby Jokes)
  34. The Lord of the Rings must be about marriage… Because when you put the ring on, you disappear. (Marriage Jokes)
  35. Why can’t Saruman read his wristwatch?… Because his arm has grown long! (Daylight Savings Jokes)
  36. What did Pippin say when he was being carried off by the Uruk-hai?… You’re carrying me in an orcward position!
  37. What is the Witch-king’s favorite book?… The Grapes of Wraith! (Book Jokes & Witch Jokes)
  38. Why didn’t Tom Bombadil answer the phone?… Because the Ring had no effect on him!
  39. What happened when the warg tried to bite Treebeard?… He found his fang gorn! (Tree Jokes)
  40. What is a gardener’s least favorite Lord of the Rings book?… The Return of the Kink! (Book Jokes & Flower Jokes)
  41. Why are Hobbit doors round?… If you ate seven meals a day you’d need round doors too! (Geometry Jokes for Teachers)
  42. I would make another Lord Of the Rings joke… but all the good ones Aragorn.
  43. Why were the police looking for Sauron?… He was wanted for first degree Mordor! (murder) (Police Jokes)
  44. What did Galadriel say when Frodo offered her the Ring?… I do! (Wedding Jokes)
  45. How did the trolls find Gimli’s father at night?… He was Glóin in the dark!
  46. What did Pippin do when he got drunk?… He became Merry! (Beer Jokes)
  47. What is Barliman Butterbur’s favorite cheese?… Bree! (Cheese Jokes)
  48. Have you heard about Aragorn’s father, Arathorn?… He has a prickly personality! (Dad Jokes)
  49. What kind of pictures do Elves take?… Elfies! (Elf Jokes)
  50. Which penguin movie won an Oscar?… Lord of the Wings. (101 Lord of the Rings Jokes & Movie Jokes)
  51. Who was the most volatile actor in The Lord of the Rings?… Orlando Boom! (Fireworks Jokes & Movie Jokes)
  52. How many times do you have to phone Sauron?… Once – it only takes One Ring!
  53. Why is it so hard to attack Barad-dûr?… Because no matter how many you open, there are always Mordors!
  54. What do you call a wizard who can hit a white ball with a club?… Cangolf! (Golf Jokes)
  55. My English teacher used to quote The Lord of the Rings to us… She used to say “you shall not pass.” (Grammar Jokes)
  56. I was once obsessed with “The Lord of the Rings.” The books, the movies, the collectables, everything… Finally I was able to kick the hobbit. (Movie Jokes)
  57. I did a Hobbit marathon yesterday…. I ran 26 miles dressed up as Bilbo Baggins! (Marathon Jokes)
  58. A hobbit was not watching where he was going and he bumped into the wizard. He said, “Saruman, didn’t see you there!” (Walking Jokes)
  59. What do you call a gangster hobbit?… Yolo Swaggins. (Movie Jokes)
  60. Why did they come out with a Lord of the Rings movie?…The fans were Baggins for it. (Movie Jokes)
  61. Lord of Rings Life Lesson: Man puts ring on finger, slowly goes insane! (Wedding Jokes & Marriage Jokes)
  62. A friend told me that the Lord of the Rings was a terrible series I said “You don’t know what you’re Tolkien about.” (Book Jokes)
  63. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about Lord of the Rings?
  64. Why did the Lord of the Rings author get kicked out of the movie theater?… He was Tolkien all the way through. (Book Jokes)
  65. What do you call a movie about a gangster hobbit?… Yolo Swaggins and the Fellowship of the Bling. (Movie Jokes)
  66. What do you call a hobbit party?… A little get together. (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  67. Why shouldn’t you upset a dwarf?… Because he’s got a short temper.
  68. I want to make a Lord of the Rings heavy metal band called Nightmare on Helm’s Deep. (Friday the 13th Jokes & 365 Music Jokes)
  69. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Lord of the Rings knock-knock joke?
  70. The Elves in The Lord of Rings look down upon anyone who is different from them. It’s pretty messed up… they’re so arrow minded. (Archery Jokes)
  71. What do you call a Lord of Rings fan with a sprained ankle?… A hobblit. (Doctor Jokes)
  72. You think Harry Potter is better than Lord of Rings… Tolkien must be Rowling in his grave… (Book Jokes & Harry Potter Jokes)
  73. What do you need to play the new Lord of the Rings pinball game?… Tolkiens.
  74. I went to an Apple Store and set up alarms on all of the phones…. I was Lord of the rings!
  75. Tolkien typed the entire Lord Of The Rings using only two fingers… That must have been Mordor. (Book Jokes)
  76. I started walking around without any shoes… and it became a sort of hobbit. (Walking Jokes)
  77. It’s a hobbit… I watch the Lord of the Rings movie. (Movie Jokes)
  78. What is an accountant’s favorite Lord of the Rings movie?… The Return of the King.
  79. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Lord of the Rings knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  80. Did you hear about the kid who lost his lord of the rings LEGO set?… He was LEGO less. (Lego Jokes)
  81. Nine bees made their way to Mordor… It was the fellowship of the Sting. (Bee Jokes & 365 Music Jokes))
  82. Good study hobbits require a frodo-graphic memory. (Jokes for Teachers)
  83. What’s wrong with staying up late to watch Lord of the Rings movies?… It’s a bad hobbit. (Movie Jokes)
  84. How many quarters does it take to play the new Lord of the Rings arcade game?… None… it only takes Tolkiens!
  85. I did a Lord of the Rings marathon yesterday… I ran 26 miles dressed up as Gandalf! (Marathon Jokes)
  86. Orlando Bloom was only paid $175,000 for his role as Legolas in the Lord of the Rings trilogy… One might say he was definitely not an Elf made millionaire. (Movie Jokes & Elf Jokes)
  87. I belong to a Lord of the Rings Society, and we have a secret sign… It is a Tolkien gesture.
  88. For my son’s birthday, I got him a copy of “The Lord of the Rings,” but he wasn’t too happy… He thought it was a Tolkien gesture. (Birthday Jokes & Dad Jokes)
  89. Who did Saruman marry?… Saruwoman! (Wedding Jokes & Marriage Jokes)
  90. What did Frodo say when he saw the trees dancing?… That’s ENT-ertainment! (Tree Jokes & Dance Jokes)
  91. I couldn’t enter Sauron’s lair… there was always one Mordor to go through.
  92. What do you call a hobbit that eats junk food?… Lord of the Onion Rings. (Fast Food Jokes)
  93. What do you call a chubby hobbit?… Low Fat.
  94. My wife is the biggest “Lord of the Rings” fan… Every night I hear her Tolkien in her sleep. (Napping Jokes & Marriage Jokes)
  95. I hear that Legolas from the Lord of the Rings had an older brother, but he died before Legolas was born… His name was Legofirst. (Lego Jokes)
  96. Why did the Best Man go to Mount Doom?… Because he was the Ring-bearer! (Marriage Jokes & Wedding Jokes)
  97. Bruce Willis has been cast to play the lead role in the upcoming Lord of the Rings sequel… Old Hobbits Die Hard. (Movie Jokes & Cemetery Jokes)
  98. How did the hobbit ruin the wrestling match?… He tried to destroy the ring! (Wrestling Jokes)
  99. Did you know The Lord of Rings could have come out a lot earlier?… Only problem was no one knew what the writer was Tolkien about. (Book Jokes)
  100. Why was Gandalf always smoking that pipe?… Because he had a bad Hobbit!
  101. What do you call the wraith king?… A ring leader!
  102. One ring rules your life, it slowly destroys you, and sometimes, death seems easier than continuing on. (Marriage Jokes & Wedding Jokes)
  103. Why did Frodo read The Lord of the Rings 50 times?… Because it was hobbit-forming! (Book Jokes)
  104. Why did the hobbit go to McDonalds?… To get a second breakfast. (Breakfast Jokes & Fast Food Jokes)
  105. What did Borimir say to the Rolling Stones?… Have you not heard? One does not simply rock into Mordor! (365 Music Jokes)
  106. What do you call a dark lord that works at KFC?… Lord of the Wings! (Fast Food Jokes)
  107. What did Frodo say when he saw the elves dancing?… It must be Christmas time. (Dance Jokes / Christmas Jokes / Elf Jokes)
  108. I did a Lord of the Rings marathon yesterday… I ran 26 miles dressed up as Bilbo Baggins! (Marathon Jokes)
  109. Who did Saruman get married to?… Sarugirl. (Wedding Jokes & Marriage Jokes)
  110. My wife woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy… She’s Tolkien in her sleep. (Marriage Jokes & Napping Jokes)
  111. What did the Orc say after being shot by an Elf?… Well that was an arrowing experience! (Archery Jokes & Elf Jokes)
  112. I’ve been reading ‘Lord Of The Rings’ and apparently, Gollum was once a normal man, but wearing the ring drained him of his youth, energy and any joy in life… Must be the same ring I put on when I got married. (Wedding Jokes & Marriage Jokes)
  113. What do you call it when you misplace your Lego Lord of the Rings mini figures?… A Lego Legolas Loss. (Lego Jokes)
  114. I heard they’re remaking one of the Lord of the Rings movies, but everyone rides around on bicycles instead of horses… They’re calling it The Two Tires. (Bike Jokes)
  115. Patient: Doctor, at night in my bed I keep saying lines from The Lord of The Rings Doctor: That’s ok, you’re just Tolkien in your sleep. (Doctor Jokes & Napping Jokes)
  116. My math teacher used to quote the Lord of the Rings to us. She used to say “you shall not pass.” (Math Jokes for Teachers)
  117. Why is ‘The Lord of the Rings’ so long?… Because no one ever stops Tolkieng.
  118. How did Bilbo Baggins know when his neighbor had died?… He read it in the Hobbituary. (Cemetery Jokes)
  119. There weren’t a lot of hobbits in the first Lord of the Rings books… They were just Tolkien characters. (Book Jokes)
  120. In the Lord of the Rings you always have to make reservations at the restaurant… Because one does not simply walk in. (Walking Jokes)
  121. My son asked me if the Santa’s Elves were the same Elves from Lord of the Rings… I said grow up Son, you’re 42 years old. (Elf Jokes & Christmas Jokes)
  122. What do they call Gandalf at the local tavern?… The White Whizzer.
  123. I went to see my doctor today about a problem. I keep reading Lord of the Rings over and over again… She told me not to worry. It is just force of hobbit! (Doctor Jokes & Book Jokes)
  124. My dad set up a booth at a Renaissance Fair where people can dress up as Frodo from Lord of the Rings exclusively… It was his Frodo-Booth. (Dad Jokes & Photography Jokes)
  125. My boyfriend woke up just now. He is dreaming and muttering about how he wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy…. He’s Tolkien in his sleep. (Napping Jokes)
  126. What do you call a movie about Lebron James in the NBA Finals?… The Loss of the Rings. (World’s Best Basketball Jokes)
  127. I used to be addicted to Lord of the Rings… But then I kicked the hobbit.
  128. I would share another Lord of the Rings pun, but… all the good ones Aragorn.
  129. So I was watching Lord of the Rings with my dad… When I mentioned Legolas he asks, “so did he lose both his legs?” (Dad Jokes & Biology Jokes for Teachers)
  130. My son woke up just now. He is dreaming and muttering about how he wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy. He’s Tolkien in his sleep.
  131. My husband woke up just now. He is dreaming and muttering about how he wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy… He’s Tolkien in his sleep. (Napping Jokes)
  132. I keep reciting all of Lord of The Rings in bed, My wife says I need to do something about Tolkien in my sleep. (Napping Jokes)
  133. My grandmother woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy… She’s Tolkien in her sleep. (Napping Jokes)
  134. My grandfather woke up just now… He is dreaming and muttering about how he wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy. He’s Tolkien in his sleep. (Napping Jokes)
  135. What is the difference between Sauron and The Easter Bunny?… Nobody knows, no one has seen either one. (Easter Jokes)
  136. How did the hobbit ruin the MMA match?… He tried to destroy the ring!
  137. Why should you never call the Nazgûl ‘black riders’?… Because it’s wraith-ist!
  138. How did the hobbit ruin the MMA match?… He tried to destroy the ring!
  139. How did the hobbit ruin the boxing match?… He tried to destroy the ring! (Boxing Jokes)
  140. My girlfriend woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy… She’s Tolkien in her sleep. (Napping Jokes)
  141. My daughter woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy… She’s Tolkien in her sleep. (Napping Jokes)
  142. My father woke up just now. He is dreaming and muttering about how he wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy… He’s Tolkien in his sleep. (Napping Jokes)
  143. My mother woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy… She’s Tolkien in her sleep.(Napping Jokes)

updated 10.21.2022